Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle

by Khara Croswaite Brindle

Overview

How can therapists feel prepared to address the possible treatment focus of ruptured maternal relationships in the therapeutic space? Depending on the client, the goal of therapy may be to repair an estranged maternal relationship or to finalize parental estrangement and redefine themself. This book focuses on identifying the estrangement cycle for clinical application with adult women clients by mental health professionals. It provides clinical tools to address the challenges of estrangement and adjustment needs of these clients within the spheres of personal identity, relationships, and grief and loss to promote personal growth and healing in the therapeutic space. It also engages readers by illustrating different stages of estrangement through client vignettes and by providing practical tools for mental health professionals to create a supportive and nonjudgmental space. With this resource, clinicians and clients will feel better equipped with the skills needed to tackle the emotional rollercoaster that is Estrangement Energy.

The companion resource website can be found here: https://www.estrangementenergycycle.com/

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781538174029
Publisher:	Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
Publication date:	06/27/2023
Pages:	184
Product dimensions:	6.25(w) x 9.31(h) x 0.72(d)

About the Author

Khara Croswaite Brindle, is a licensed mental health therapist and group practice owner in Denver, Colorado. She holds various roles including financial therapist, TEDx speaker, burnout consultant, published author, and professor. Khara values working with fellow mental health professionals through training, consultation, and clinical supervision, with her greatest joy being her work with driven entrepreneurs, fellow helpers, and perfectionists to help them move from workaholic to well balanced with streamlined strategies that fit their busy lifestyles. Khara is originally from the Pacific Northwest and gets her best ideas when walking outside and being around water. When she’s not writing her next book or supporting fellow professional helpers on their own self-discovery journeys, she’s playing with her daughter or indulging in gluttonous, gluten-free desserts with her family.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Structure

Identity Protection

Author Experience

CHAPTER 1: Estrangement Defined

Terms of Estrangement

Physical Versus Emotional Estrangement

Family Frequency of Estrangement

Sibling Estrangement

The Stigma of Estrangement

Mother-Daughter Estrangement

Warning Signs for Daughters

Warning Signs for Mothers

Cultural Considerations

Clinical Considerations

Estrangement Explained

CHAPTER 2: Long-Term Effects of Estrangement

Symptoms of Estrangement

Impact on Partners

Impact on Siblings

Impact on Children

Impact on Other Family Members

Impact on Friends and Community Members

CHAPTER 3: Assumptions About Estrangement

Selfishness

Suddenness

Therapist Recommendation

Exaggerated Trauma

Refusal to Reconcile

Too Much Toxic

False Memories

Mental Health Problems

Control Over Grandchildren

CHAPTER 4: A Woman’s Worth

Mother-Child Attachment

Partner Attachment

Attachment Trauma

Abuse

Neglect

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

CHAPTER 5: Introduction to the Estrangement Energy Cycle

Figure 5.1. The Estrangement Energy Cycle

CHAPTER 6: Cycle of Abuse

Power and Control

Gaslighting

Financial Abuse

Generational Trauma

Minimizing

Scapegoating

Caregiving

Defective/Denial

Superior Parenting

CHAPTER 7: Questioning

Shame and Guilt

Negative Core Beliefs

Self-Doubt

Emotion Dysregulation

The Burden of Busyness

Active Avoidance

Self-Criticism

Suicidal Ideation

Perfectionism

CHAPTER 8: Relationship Rupture

CHAPTER 9: Therapeutic Tools for Estrangement Energy

Shutting Down the Inner Critic

Experiencing Anticipatory Grief

Challenging Ambivalence

Exploring Forgiveness

Understanding the Fight-or-Flight Response

Addressing Elevated Anxiety

Watching for Warning Signs

Exploring EMDR

Staying Present

CHAPTER 10: Grief and Loss

CHAPTER 11: Discovering Sense of Self

Successful Self

Trauma Personification

Identity Formation

Sobriety Versus Recovery

Compassionate Touch

Reconciled Relationship

Positive Role Model

Professional Helper

Safe Space

CHAPTER 12: Deeper Work

Theme #1: What Happened Is a Part of Me, But Doesn’t Define Me

Theme #2: I Know and Trust Myself

Theme #3: I Can Change This Trauma Legacy for My Children

CHAPTER 13: Redefining Self-Worth

CHAPTER 14: Revisiting the Cycle

Figure 14.1. The Estrangement Energy Cycle

CHAPTER 15: Treating Men Who Are Estranged

CHAPTER 16: Clinical Competencies in Estrangement

Assessment

Professionalism

Intervention

CHAPTER 17: When Someone You Know Is Estranged

For Partners

For Parents

Readiness for Reconciliation

Parent Dynamics

Shared Grief

Supporting Self-Awareness

For Siblings

For Friends and Community Members

DO

DON’T

CHAPTER 18: Dating and Estrangement 121

CHAPTER 19: Life After Estrangement 127

CHAPTER 20: A Final Look at Estrangement Energy

Appendix A: Warning Signs in the Mother-Daughter Relationship

Appendix B: The Estrangement Energy Cycle

Appendix C: Estrangement Energy Therapeutic Tools

Exercise 7.1. Negative Core Beliefs Tree

Exercise 7.2. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) Wise Mind

Exercise 9.1. Inner Critic Personification

Exercise 9.2. Letter of Divorce

Exercise 9.3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Best–Worst–Most Likely

Exercise 9.4. Trauma Family Tree

Exercise 9.5. 5-4-3-2-1

Exercise 9.6. Thought-Stopping Technique

Exercise 9.7. Watch Your Warning Signs

Exercise 9.8. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Resource List

Exercise 9.9. Five Senses Coping Kit

Exercise 11.1. Successful Self-Visualization

Exercise 11.2. Trauma Personification

Exercise 11.3. Who Am I Reflection

Exercise 11.4. Self-Portrait Exercise

Exercise 11.5. Compassionate Touch Exercise

Exercise 11.6. Power Poses (Courtesy of Amy Cuddy)

Exercise 11.7. Mindful Walking

Exercise 11.8. Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP)

Exercise 11.9. Safe Space

Exercise 12.1. Thought Diffusion

Exercise 12.2. Container Exercise

Exercise 12.3. Internal Family Systems (IFS) Self-Meditation

Exercise 14.1. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Tapping

Appendix D: Estrangement Clinical Competencies and Self-Assessment

Appendix E: Group Processing Questions

For Therapeutic Groups

For Book Club Discussion

References

Index

About the Author

Editorial Reviews

I sincerely recommend Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle for anyone in the mental health field working with adult clients. This book offers a detailed look at the many different catalysts for an adult daughter to end their relationship with their mother through nine different case studies as well as through the current research on this topic. The case studies allow a mental health professional to step outside of their current perceptions of what causes these types of ruptures by sharing the many different nuances that can play a part. Khara Croswaite Brindle offers a framework and tangible strategies to work with clients considering estrangement from their mother through the Estrangement Energy Cycle. This framework provides mental health professionals a way to conceptualize these cases and walk alongside their clients to determine their next best steps on their healing journey.

Sybil Cumming

Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships addresses the complex traumatic fallout when this primary relationship disintegrates. It maintains a delicate neutrality that allows for a range of outcomes including permanent estrangement and the path forward. This is a deeply insightful contribution to our understanding of these dynamics.

Barbara Forgue

A compassionate approach to an issue that is too often seen as taboo and uncomfortable, Khara Croswaite Brindle's book is an essential guide and must-read for clinicians, therapists, life coaches, and other mental health professionals who work with adult daughters estranged from their mothers. Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships thoroughly explores the aptly named Estrangement Energy Cycle through the experiences of several of the author's clients and offers therapeutic tools and practices. This book will also be helpful to anyone who knows, cares about, or loves an adult daughter who is estranged from her mother.

Karen C. L. Anderson

I sincerely recommend Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle for anyone in the mental health field working with adult clients. This book offers a detailed look at the many different catalysts for adult daughters to end their relationships with their mothers through nine different case studies as well as through the current research on this topic. The case studies allow a mental health professional to step outside of their current perceptions of what causes these types of ruptures by sharing the many different nuances that can play a part. Khara Croswaite Brindle offers a framework and tangible strategies to work with clients considering estrangement from their mother through the Estrangement Energy Cycle. This framework provides mental health professionals with a way to conceptualize these cases and walk alongside their clients to determine their best next steps on their healing journeys.

Sybil Cummin

This book is written specifically for clinicians, therapists, life coaches, and other mental and community health professionals who work with adult daughters estranged from their mothers. It is an excellent resource for anyone who knows, cares about, or loves an adult daughter who is estranged from her mother. While it’s almost a cliche for therapists to ask a client to talk about their relationship with their mother, there were few clinical guidelines or practical resources for these helping professionals. The book thoroughly explores the aptly named Estrangement Energy Cycle through the experiences of several of the author's clients and offers therapeutic tools and practices that are easy for anyone to use.

Shepherd- Best Books

This book is simply outstanding. I am impressed with Khara Croswaite Brindle’s thorough and engaging writing style, which provides insight and application for healing the wounds of maternal estrangement and difficult mother-daughter relationships. Croswaite Brindle shows passion in writing this book and uses a hope-filled approach to address a difficult topic. As a professional counselor specializing in relationships, I highly recommend Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships to mental healthcare providers and those desiring to experience hope and healing.

Rebecca S. Trouse

A compassionate approach to an issue that is too often seen as taboo and uncomfortable, Khara Croswaite Brindle's book is an essential guide and must-read for clinicians, therapists, life coaches, and other mental health professionals who work with adult daughters estranged from their mothers. Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships thoroughly explores the aptly named Estrangement Energy Cycle through the experiences of several of the author's clients and offers therapeutic tools and practices. This book will also be helpful to anyone who knows, cares about, or loves an adult daughter who is estranged from her mother.

I sincerely recommend Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle for anyone in the mental health field working with adult clients. This book offers a detailed look at the many different catalysts for adult daughters to end their relationships with their mothers through nine different case studies as well as through the current research on this topic. The case studies allow a mental health professional to step outside of their current perceptions of what causes these types of ruptures by sharing the many different nuances that can play a part. Khara Croswaite Brindle offers a framework and tangible strategies to work with clients considering estrangement from their mother through the Estrangement Energy Cycle. This framework provides mental health professionals with a way to conceptualize these cases and walk alongside their clients to determine their best next steps on their healing journeys.

This book is simply outstanding. I am impressed with Khara Croswaite Brindle's thorough and engaging writing style, which provides insight and application for healing the wounds of maternal estrangement and difficult mother-daughter relationships. Croswaite Brindle shows passion in writing this book and uses a hope-filled approach to address a difficult topic. As a professional counselor specializing in relationships, I highly recommend Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships to mental healthcare providers and those desiring to experience hope and healing.

This book is written specifically for clinicians, therapists, life coaches, and other mental and community health professionals who work with adult daughters estranged from their mothers. It is an excellent resource for anyone who knows, cares about, or loves an adult daughter who is estranged from her mother. While it's almost a cliche for therapists to ask a client to talk about their relationship with their mother, there were few clinical guidelines or practical resources for these helping professionals. The book thoroughly explores the aptly named Estrangement Energy Cycle through the experiences of several of the author's clients and offers therapeutic tools and practices that are easy for anyone to use.

Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships addresses the complex traumatic fallout when this primary relationship disintegrates. It maintains a delicate neutrality that allows for a range of outcomes including permanent estrangement and the path forward. This is a deeply insightful contribution to our understanding of these dynamics.

From the Publisher