Unicorn Farts and Glitter: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving a J-Pouch

Unicorn Farts and Glitter: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving a J-Pouch

by AW Cross

NOOK Book(eBook)

$4.99
View All Available Formats & Editions

Available on Compatible NOOK Devices and the free NOOK Apps.
WANT A NOOK?  Explore Now
LEND ME® See Details

Overview

You've just gotten a j-pouch. Now what?

Life with your new j-pouch might feel intimidating, but it doesn't have to be. In Unicorn Farts and Glitter: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving a J-Pouch, author and j-pouch veteran AW Cross gives you a first-hand, non-medical perspective about what to expect from your j-pouch and how to manage it successfully.

Through her usual blend of practicality and humor, you'll learn how to:

  • Cope with the physical consequences and emotional impact of having a j-pouch
  • Manage pouchitis, cuffitis, obstructions, strictures, and skin care
  • Pack a survival kit and leave the house with confidence
  • Dress, eat, and have sex
  • Deal with healthcare professionals and your stays in the hospital
  • Use social media and parley with non-pouchers

Whether you've just gotten your j-pouch, or you've had one for years, if you're determined to make the most of it, this book is for you.

If you'd rather pretend that you're normal, have no sense of humor about your j-pouch, and hate unicorns and rainbows, DON'T BUY THIS BOOK!

Product Details

BN ID: 2940153351759
Publisher: Glory Box Press
Publication date: 08/02/2016
Series: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving , #3
Sold by: Draft2Digital
Format: NOOK Book
File size: 742 KB

Table of Contents

PREFACE........................................................................................................................ 1

INTRODUCTION.............................................................................................................. 2

CHAPTER ONE

J-POUCH: UNICORN FARTS AND GLITTER.................................................................. 3

CHAPTER TWO

BATTLE SCARS: PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCES OF A J-POUCH.................................. 7

CHAPTER THREE

THE WINDS OF CHANGE: THE ART OF FARTING

(AND NOT SHARTING).................................................................................................... 15

CHAPTER FOUR

THE NOSTALGIC ACHE: POUCHITIS, CUFFITIS, OBSTRUCTIONS,

STRICTURES, AND SKIN CARE...................................................................................... 17

CHAPTER FIVE

STAYIN’ ALIVE: PLAN AHEAD.......................................................................................... 29

CHAPTER SIX

I’VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS: WHAT TO PUT IN YOUR MOUTH........ 35

CHAPTER SEVEN

A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR: SURVIVING HEALTHCARE

PROFESSIONALS.............................................................................................................. 45

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE SHOW MUST GO ON: EXERCISE AND YOUR J-POUCH........................................ 49

CHAPTER NINE

LIFE IS A HIGHWAY: TRAVEL AND SOCIAL

EVENTS............................................................................................................................... 53

CHAPTER TEN

SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW: THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF A J-POUCH...... 59

CHAPTER ELEVEN

TALK DIRTY TO ME: SEX, PREGNANCY, AND YOUR J-POUCH..................................... 77

CHAPTER TWELVE

ALL FUR COAT AND NO KNICKERS: J-POUCH FASHION DOS AND DON'TS.............. 85

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

BLOOD ON THE TRACKS: J-POUCHES AND THE SHIT PEOPLE SAY........................... 89

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

LOADED AND ALONE: SOCIAL MEDIA.............................................................................. 91

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

SISTER MORPHINE: A GUIDE TO BEING IN THE HOSPITAL........................................... 95

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

COWGIRLS DON’T CRY: TOUGH LOVE RULES FOR SURVIVING YOUR J-POUCH ..... 103

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS..................................................................................................... 107

APPENDIX............................................................................................................................ 109

GLOSSARY.......................................................................................................................... 111

INDEX....................................................................................................................................113

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See All Customer Reviews

Unicorn Farts and Glitter: Quick and Dirty Tips for Surviving a J-Pouch 1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Ehhrigg fartsssssss are super funny and make you go wild fggffhnfdfjgseyvfstfd