The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green

The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green

by Joshua Braff
3.7 18

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Overview

The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green by Joshua Braff

It's 1977. Jacob Green, a Jewish kid from suburban New Jersey, sits on the stairs during his family's housewarming party, waiting for his father, Abram—charming host, everyone's best friend, and amateur emcee—to introduce him to the crowd. Housewarming parties, Annie Hall parties, and bar mitzvah parties punctuate Jacob's childhood and require command performances by all the Green family members. But when the confetti settles and the drapes are drawn, the affable Abram Green becomes an egotistical tyrant whose emotional rages rupture the lives of his family.

Jacob doesn't mean to disappoint his father, but he can't help thinking the most unthinkable (and very funny) thoughts about public-school humiliation, Hebrew-school disinclination, and in-home sex education (with the live-in nanny!). If only his mother hadn't started college at thirty-six (and fallen for her psychology professor). If only he were more like his rebellious older brother (suspended from Hebrew school for drawing the rabbi in a threesome with a lobster and a pig). If only Jacob could confront his overbearing father and tell him he doesn't want to sing in synagogue, attend est classes, write the perfect thank-you note, or even live in the same house with Abram Green. But, of course, he can't. That would be unthinkable.

This self-assured, comic, yet piercing first novel deftly captures the struggle of an imperfect boy trying to become a suitable son.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781565124202
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company, Inc.
Publication date: 10/28/2004
Pages: 256
Product dimensions: 5.52(w) x 8.74(h) x 1.00(d)
Lexile: 670L (what's this?)

About the Author

Joshua Braff the author of The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green, lives in California with his wife and two children. 

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Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green 3.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 18 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I liked this book so much that I read it in one day. I think that everyone should be able to relate to it. Every family is dysfunctional. It might be when your parents are lecturing you and then the phone rings and they pick it up in a false cheery voice and have a pleasant conversation. Then just as the conversation is over they don't forget where they were in your punishment. It might be more severe, like in Jacob's case. We all must grow up and we all go through similar things. I love how high school was not softened. Yes, there is language and drugs, and sex. That is how high school is. You can choose to participate or not. The description of the family was realistic. Congratulations on a book well written!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
RobertDowns More than 1 year ago
I think it’s safe to say teenage boys think about sex. A LOT. In fact, teenage boys think about sex so much and with such enthusiasm that teenage girls are often overridden around every bend. With teenage boys in mind, I have compiled a list of penis slang. This is by no means all-inclusive, but it should suffice for the task at hand. There’s Johnson and skin-flute and boner and anaconda and anal impaler. Bald-headed yogurt slinger and baloney pony and bratwurst and chubbie and cock and ding-a-ling and ding dong and dingis. John Thomas and joystick and knob and love stick and member and middle leg and Mr. Happy. Schlong and Schwartz and shaft and tallywacker and trouser snake and wang and weenie. If you add up all the slang terms (there’re 27) and then multiply this number by 15, you probably end up somewhere in the vicinity of how often teenage boys think about getting laid. That’s nearly 17 times an hour. Am I exaggerating? I wish I were. And it doesn’t really matter if your father is half-crazy and your mother decides to start boning her psychology professor, a teenage boy can still dream of a better life. Even if your nanny doesn’t feel the same way about you, you can still enjoy the view and keep the more X-rated thoughts to yourself and have wet dreams in the privacy of your bedroom. THE UNTHINKABLE THOUGHTS OF JACOB GREEN reminded me of a dysfunctional family on steroids. When I reached the end, I had developed an even greater appreciation for my own upbringing, and it was hard not for me to consider myself lucky. Sure, I could bemoan my own familial problems, or my own teenage drama (rather mild in comparison), or the skirmishes my brother and I experienced on multiple occasions, but none of those thoughts crossed my mind. Instead, amusement crossed my lips, as character after character acted out in the craziest manner, and I found myself hanging on for the ride. Robert Downs Author of Falling Immortality: Casey Holden, Private Investigator
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Bree_WormSince1989 More than 1 year ago
I read this book when I was sixteen years old, and found it absolutely great! In my opinion, it is a unique tale of a young Jewish kid on the brink of manhood trying to process the crumbling of his family, while trying to find himself. It's absolutely hilarious, and reminds me of the Jewish kids I grew up with in middle school. Its a great story that is kinda meant for young adults, but can be read by any age group. No matter how old you are, you will definitely enjoy it. It may even help you make the many or final transitions in your life. Enjoy, because I sure did.
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Guest More than 1 year ago
This is by far one of the best books I've read in a long time, and I go thru mounds of books. The Braff family is just a very talented one. I loved how he got into Jacob's mind and didn't hold anything back, I especially liked the open ending with 'where the hell is that kid going?' and I can't wait until Braff comes out with a new book, if he is anytime soon.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was excellent. Just like Jacob, I am Jewish. I could relate to his thoughts and his feelings. I'm 13 and this was one of our 8th grade summer reading required books. I read this one in 3 days because it was so hard to put down. That being said, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone under 12 years old because of explicit content. Some may get lost by thinking too much on what he says than his thoughts in general, so you need to be mature to read this. I don't have any other books to recommend because I haven't read anything like this one before. I would definately recommend this book to anyone 12 or up.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I loved this book so much. It was incredible how it could be so sad and still it's put in a way that makes laugh bitterly. It shows emotion without being soft. Theirs all the making of a great book. The first page drags a bit but other than that the entire book goes by so quickly you would wish you read slower. The ending is so wonderfully culminating. I give this book an A plus.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I just recently finished reading 'The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green,' and I am not quite sure if I liked it or not. I was very confused by how it ended, that most likely was the point of ending it like that, but I still am really not that sure what to think. I guess maybe I am just not that into like teenage boy sexual fantasy stuff or something. I do recommend it though it was very funny. I completely related to Jacob, and living in a Jewish family, because I too am Jewish. I¿ve heard Joshua Braff (the author) has been getting offers to make this book a screenplay and eventually a movie. Also, if you really did enjoy this book, I do recommend seeing ¿Garden State.¿ It is written, directed, and starred by Zack Braff, Joshua Braff¿s brother. Zach¿s movie and Josh¿s book have their similarities. I also love Garden State and can¿t wait till it comes out on DVD on December 28, 2004! I¿m counting down the days!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This was an amazing book. I read it because I had heard that it was similar to The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It isnt incredibly similar, but it's very good anyways. Asher is wonderful, he was definately my favorite. Jacob's thoughts are so real. The way he talks about squishing the guests heads in the very beginning and counting the seconds of silence. Its just great. I would definately reccoment it to anyone who would want to read a good book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Being a Jew, I was excited to read this book. The book excited me and disappointed me on many levels. First, I think the author did a very good job with the character the boy from age 10-ish to 15-ish. I felt the author really captured the boys thoughts, feelings, mannerisms, and speech. On the other hand, I was sorely disappointed that this mainstream, popular book depicts this Jewish family with an emotional abusive father-- also to depict this type of father figure disappointed me since many non-Jews may think this is what being Jewish is all about. Secondly, there is a lot of bad language in the book, I mean BAD so this would be totally inappropriate for teenagers to read.