In a society where two-thirds of divorces occur within six years of having a child, the first few months can be a crucial time for establishing healthy parental roles and routines. In Vortex of Feelings: The Early Months, Book II of the groundbreaking series The Psychological Survival Guide for Parents, Dr. Paul Peebles returns with a frank and fresh discussion about tricky and taboo topics rarely discussed in other pregnancy/child/family literature. Picking up where he left off in Book I, OMG! We're Pregnant, Dr. Peebles examines the first months of infancy, a time that can be wrought with anxiety and exhaustion for parents, and, if navigated thoughtfully, moments of pure bliss.
Vortex of Feelings: The Early Months wades into common concerns like bonding and breast-feeding, and its feelings, and thornier topics like the pros and cons of “Attachment Parenting,” the disruption of sexual relationships, and the danger of father’s feeling “odd man out.” Dr. Peebles anticipates problems and provides parents with the tools to raise a healthy, happy baby without sacrificing their own intimacy. Dr. Peebles reminds new parents that what’s most important is not the process but the result. In a book that is ultimately about family and how to keep it together, Dr. Peebles offers solutions to issues that can help save your sanity and your Relationships.
Vortex of Feelings tackles issues like the Pros and Cons of “Attachment Parenting,” Bonding, Breast “Feelings,” Fears and Losses, Odd Man Out Theory, Setting Boundaries with Grandparents, Guilt and Magic, the Intruder Complex, Loss of Libido, Postpartum Depression, Rituals and Rites, Sleep, the self-defeating Success Neurosis, Infant Temperament, “Wish versus Reality,” and “Rescue versus Empathy,” Spoiling a Baby?, Ghosts in the Nursery, and (of course) Working Outside the Home. Interspersed throughout the book also are many important practical recommendations for caring for a new baby, and yourself.
It is about relationships, and intrusions into those relationships. And, while it is about the early months, there is no “expiration date” for this book.
About the Author
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
List of Anecdotes
Prequel: A Rite of Passage
A Reality Tale
Trying to Please Everyone, but Not Harry
Part I: The Initial Vortex
Chapter I: What Drives the Whirlwinds
Chapter II: The Intruder Complex, Revisited
The Development of Intimacy
The Unexpected Growing Intrusion
Intruder Complex Corollaries
An Historical Perspective
Chapter III: Breast Feelings
Test of Confidence
The Grading System Returns
Conflicts with Others
The Giving Up of Self
Nipple Territory…and Breast Boundaries
Chapter IV: Other Gusts
Denial of Difficulties
The Crisis of Change
The Ultimate Loss Perception…and Success Neurosis
The Homunculus Phenomenon
Part II: Does He Recognize Me?
Chapter V: What’s He Up to?
From Reflex to Control and then…Intention
How Breasts Work
Chapter VI: The Intimacy Drive
On the Radio
The Biochemistry of Love, and Bonding
Chapter VII: Infant Temperament
Intimacy and Temperament
It’s Hard Being a Little Kid
The Spectrum of the Great Modulator
Adjustment to Temperament
Part III: Other Actors in This Rite of Passage
Chapter VIII: More Intrusion
Old Wives’ Tales
The Extended Family
The Anthropology of the Mother’s Mother
Chapter IX: Ghosts in the Nursery
The Mother’s Mother
Spooking Them Out
The Father’s Father
Chapter X: Guilt and “Guilting”
Guilt Is Now a Verb
Part IV: Out of the Swirling Fog
Chapter XI Strengthening Yourself
Surviving the Intruder Complex
Loss of Libido
Breast Feeding: A Few Tips Not in Most Books
Can I Enhance His Sleeping Through the Night? Yep!
Solving Breast Feelings
Working Outside the House?
Chapter XII: Life with Others
The First Rite
Conflicting Advice, Revisited
Guilt, Blame, and Me
Fears and Magic
The Other Side of Magic, Rites…and Guilt
Chapter XIII: Dealing with the Little One
The Older Ones
Infant Clues and Parent Detectives
Can You Spoil a Baby?
Wish Versus Reality…Again
A Truly Important Point
The Organization of the Book
The Intruder Complex and Growing with Your Child
How Do We Enjoy All of This?
Points Regarding Content and Investigation Methods