Read an Excerpt
Walking for Breezes
By James Nelson Caulkins AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2013 James Nelson Caulkins
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4918-2257-9
CHAPTER 1
Day One
"I'm sure you're ready for this, Mateen. Do you think Anoo is?"
"Well, Eli, I think that Anoo is as ready for this as you were when you went traveling with me."
"This does bring back memories. I was ready to gain from those adventures because you taught me well and you were patient with me. It was not because of my ability, at the time, to make your ideas into my own individual thought and independent perspective. It took me years to feel comfortable with myself and my own individuality after we traveled."
"What we talked about then was newer to you than it is for Anoo. You've been teaching him all along as he's been growing up," says Mateen.
"That's true. But you were around a lot to help me after I got back from those travels. These days you're not around as much, your talk is more abrupt, and your patience is less with those who cannot readily communicate through a perspective akin to yours or at your level of awareness," says Eli.
"You are the boy's father and will be around for him when he gets back. I was around for you after we traveled because your father had died and I am your uncle. It wasn't because I was the only one who could have helped you. I have no doubt that you will help Anoo after we finish walking together, as I helped you. When the boy gets back, the love you share with Tohlee and your shared compassion for Anoo, will soften any harshness in my manner or in the meaning of the words I use, even if there is some temporary discomfort to him. I feel that I soften as I go deeper into the hills which will temper my delivery, but your concern is noted and I will be aware of Anoo's youthful perspective."
"Soften, yes, but your view of the world is deeper and more individual now than when I went with you. Because of that, your view will appear more abrupt to Anoo than it did to me. Also, a lot of boys see more truth in the words of others than in the words of their fathers even when the words are much the same. Therefore, your words will carry a lot of weight with him," says Eli.
"That is all true. As much as I was around when you came back, you will be around even more for him. He does listen to you. You've been a good father to him and Tohlee will help. She has been a good and loving mother. You've learned a lot since I took you walking. That learning will be a benefit to Anoo. Talking to you and Tohlee, after the boy gets back, will show him different perspectives on all the things he and I will talk about. You, Tohlee, and I all hold similar views of the human condition and the world around us. We express those similar views differently in our lives and in our words. Anoo will see broader possibilities for his own individuality because of the differences in our methods of expressing and living the similar views we hold."
"That is also true; Anoo will see several ways to incorporate similar values and views into life. I think that will help him trust his own decisions and perspective as he creates his own individuality. His youthful perspective on what you talk about with him will not seem as far from what you say once Anoo compares the difference his perspective creates with the differences the three of us hold and are comfortable with in each other. There were things that I needed to learn as an adult from loving Tohlee and from Tohlee herself. Anoo will see in Tohlee and me three different views, a man's view, a woman's view, and the view of a man and woman loving each other. I wonder where these different circumstances since my travels with you will take him. I also wonder how much more you have learned in the last thirty years, Mateen. How much more would I learn if I walked with you now?"
"Perhaps some, my friend, but most things I've learned since our walk I have talked to you about during my visits. As you have told me about things you have learned yourself and through knowing and loving Tohlee. How you have used the things we talked about almost thirty years ago has taught me also. Your individual path of life has brought a perspective to you which in return brought learning back to me. The things you have learned through loving Tohlee I have only in memories, not as a part of my daily life. I admit that this does lessen my patience and causes me to be more abrupt. All these things Anoo will be exposed to on this walk as well as in his life. My losses and age, your fullness of life with Tohlee and hers with you, what Anoo adds to your life and Tohlee's. I don't know how these various perspectives will affect Anoo. I am just helping him along and furthering what you and Tohlee have begun. Anoo's life will be his own adventure."
"Well said, Mateen, let's go over and join Tohlee and Anoo."
As they walk toward Tohlee and Anoo, Eli and Tohlee's farm surrounds them. The morning is cool with the promise of late spring warmth by the afternoon. Vibrant green springtime leaves rustle in the breeze, setting off the blue sky and white cumulus clouds. Turkeys and chickens forage nearby in the orchard as Eli's dog guards them. The horses neigh as they see the men walk away without delivering a treat, only a scratch behind the ears and a pat on the neck. Two cats watch from the barn as they walk by with one of Tohlee's dogs keeping pace beside them. The grass in the yard is growing long as the neighbors haven't brought Tohlee and Eli's calves for the summer yet. Tohlee's second dog rolls and plays in the tall grass as Tohlee and Anoo talk.
"I will miss you, Mother."
"And I you, Anoo. Please take advantage of this time with Mateen. He is an experienced man who has seen and done many things. Listen to him. Ask questions if you don't understand the reason behind his actions or words. Voice your opinion if you don't agree, but voice your opinion with respect and courtesy, as a desire for greater learning, not as criticism."
"Yes, Mother. I'll be open to new things and I'll be polite."
"Do that, Anoo. Mateen, your father and I think that learning and experience put into perspective begets wisdom. Learning, experience, and perspective are explainable. Learning is about facts and concepts and how they are applied to life. Perspective comes from the experience gained through the application of those facts and concepts learned in one's life. You must know the reasons behind another individual's perspective in order to turn their learning and experience into your own individual wisdom. Learning without the pattern of reason is hollow - merely information.
"Collect all the information you can, for it is valuable. But you, Anoo, are capable of being more than a container for information and others' experiences. You will assimilate information in your own way and use it your own way and therefore become your own individual."
"I understand, Mother."
"Obey no human and you will serve no human. Serve no human, Anoo, for you will find that servitude will belittle your potential more than it will comfort you. Be accountable for all your actions and you will be free. I want you to be free. If you accept another person as responsible for your actions, it will lessen your freedom and it will still be an individual decision you are held accountable for. Joy of living and learning comes from freedom. A person physically chained to their work can be free in their heart. A person who does not create their own individuality will not be free in their heart. It won't matter what goods they have or what freedoms they have to move their body when and where they want to. Feel joy at the responsibility for yourself and you will have a freedom of spirit which is a stronger base to live your life from than any human can give you. Be strong in your heart, mind, and body. Trust yourself and cast aside your self-imposed limitations. I have no doubt that what you will find in yourself will be good and that you will grow to be a decent and compassionate man. My love is a freely given gift to you. Take care, Anoo, and go with my love."
"Thank you, Mother; my love is with you also."
"Here comes your father and Mateen."
"Be strong, Anoo."
"Yes, Father, I will."
"Pay attention to what goes on around you. If you find yourself in a time of danger, obey Mateen. When you then find yourself in a place where you can reflect on what happened, ask him why he told you to do what he did. He will not ask for your obedience lightly. To be responsible for your actions you must be aware of yourself. Responsibility for yourself is hollow without honesty. To be honest you must not only be aware of your actions but also of the effect your actions have on yourself and others. Without honesty, the accuracy of your memory will fall to vagueness. A vague memory will decrease the awareness of yourself that you will need in order to create individual responsibility. The awareness which results in a clear memory allows for the reassessment of your actions, a reassessment that individual learning and change can be based on. The circle I've just described is one I enjoy living, Anoo. Be strong and aware. Be honest and responsible. Learn and change. Do these things and you will have a base for your life that will not fail. Not in this life or the next. My love and good thoughts go with you, Anoo. Walk well, my son."
"Thank you, Father."
"Now it's time for us to walk, Anoo. First, we will hike a fair distance to get past some of the nearer farms and town. Pay attention as we go. Pay attention to how your body is working and to what is happening around you. Feel good about walking on this late spring day with the cool breeze blowing away the clouds while you feel its freshness on your face. Peace to you, Tohlee and Eli. Peace to you."
"Peace to you, Mateen, and to your charge."
Tohlee and Eli stand arm-in-arm as they watch Mateen and Anoo walk down their lane and turn south, upriver towards town. Eli knows after they are out of sight Mateen will turn off the road and circle up around town before heading farther up into the hills. Watching until Mateen and Anoo go out of sight around a bend and seeing their dogs running back down the road to their home, they turn to each other and embrace.
"Do you think that was too formal of a parting, Eli?"
"I don't. I think it was not a time for tears or an attitude of what will he do without us."
"I wanted to cry and sob and clutch him to me."
"I think it was a time to part as we will welcome him home, as a young man well on his way towards growing above his need for parental nurturing. We will welcome him home as a friend as much as our child," says Eli.
"You're a wiseman, a man who can communicate his perspective with clarity to the benefit of all around you."
"And you are a wise woman, a woman whose love and compassion extends out from yourself and grows in the people around you."
"You melt my heart, Eli."
"You fill mine, Tohlee, and fill me with the desire to melt into you."
"Let's go melt together, but it's too chilly to lay a blanket in the orchard," says Tohlee.
"I think the morning sunny spot in the loft would be perfect," says Eli.
"I'll race you," says Tohlee as she starts to run.
"I'll let you win so I can follow you up the ladder and look up your dress."
"To see this?" says Tohlee as she turns and skips backwards while lifting her dress up to her waist.
"Hey! You're taking the fun out of my peeking game."
Tohlee continues lifting her dress over her head and, pulling it off, throws it at Eli.
"When you change the game, Tohlee, it only makes me wish for a longer ladder."
Mateen and Anoo's walk starts in the pastoral valley where Anoo has lived his entire life. Cottonwood and box elder trees top the river with willow, dogwood, alder, and many smaller shrubs crowding underneath in the patchy shade. The rich bottomland soil fills in any other spaces underneath with tall grasses and forbs. Gravel and sand bars in the river are starting to appear as the high-melt water of spring recedes. Just away from the river, hay meadows that seasonally flood rise to become tilled crop fields and orchards edged by hedgerows. Houses and barns are scattered here and there at the ends of two-track lanes. Above the valley floor shrub land of gambles oak, serviceberry, and chokecherry are interspersed with dry sagebrush-dominated meadows. As the elevation increases the tall shrubs become mixed with small patches of aspen. Higher still, the aspen become forests broken by wet meadows. Farther in the distance the deep green of pine, spruce, and fir darken the hilltops.
"Let's rest and eat here, Anoo. We will go on in a little while."
"How far do you think we've walked?"
"I'd say about six miles. We headed upstream past town which as you know is about five miles from your parents' farm and then we climbed about a mile up this hill. Do you see how the two valleys to the side of us come together down below?"
"Yes, they come together as one big valley which starts where the town is."
"The town grew where it did because of the two streams coming together and the power their joined waters create, especially in spring and early summer. This hill we are climbing becomes a ridge that keeps those two streams separate. There are farms in the valleys below us on either side similar to your father's. They run up their respective valleys for a couple of miles. Then the valleys narrow down too much for farming. My place is about five miles east of here. As I've said when you've visited with your father, the stream that flows by my place goes out of the hills and onto the plains, not into the river to our East that runs into town."
"How far will we go today?" asks Anoo.
"We'll keep going up this hill and then along the ridge for several more miles. That will put us a couple miles past the last farms. After that we'll go farther up into the hills. The hills form the headwaters of the two streams we can see down below us."
"Where will we go in the hills?"
"We will just wander. There are a few places I would like to see again. We will go here and there."
"You've been way up in the hills before?"
"Yes, I've gone by myself and with others many times. I went with your father for the first time about thirty years ago. He was about your age then. We wandered, saw many interesting things, and we talked."
"What did you talk about with my father?"
"We talked about each other, the many aspects to the planet we are living on, and the world we are living in. Much the same as you and I will do. I want you to understand that many things we talk about will be subjects or perspectives you can spend a lifetime exploring if you choose."
"Okay, Mateen, are there people living far up in the hills?"
"No, not really living there. People from the valleys do go onto the lower slopes to hunt, and to gather wood, wild foods and herbs. There are also people who wander through at times, people who have chosen a nomadic lifestyle. So we may see a few people but probably not very many. The valley has richer soil and enough people to keep the wilder predators away. Living in the valley makes for an easier life than up in the hills. But it's not so easy a life that many people go up into the hills looking for adventure or challenge as we are going to do."
"Do the nomadic people move through the hills often?"
"Some years they do, but usually later in the summer. Especially during dry summers they'll bring their grazing animals up to the green grass of the high country."
"Are there many wild predators?"
"There are some, but not so many that we will have to be fighting them off. It's always a good idea to keep your eyes open. You need to remember who and what you are. We aren't carrying any real weapons, just knives and our walking staffs. Most animals will shy away from people, but make sure you give them the opportunity to do so by paying attention and seeing them before they see you. Without weapons you wouldn't want a bear or wolf to feel like you've cornered them or that they must defend themselves against you. Let's just sit back and relax for a little bit, Anoo."
Mateen and Anoo choose to stop on a small rocky rise where they can look down the hill they are climbing. Tall shrubs and short aspens with twisted trunks ring the rise. They sit between some large rocks with sagebrush, clump grass, and a few forbs growing out of the rocky soil. With a quick look around for nearby ant hills they stretch out. After a short nap under the noon sun they rouse themselves and share a snack of dried fruit.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Walking for Breezes by James Nelson Caulkins. Copyright © 2013 James Nelson Caulkins. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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