We Need to Talk. But First, Do You Like My Shoes?: Dress Codes for Dumping Your Man

We Need to Talk. But First, Do You Like My Shoes?: Dress Codes for Dumping Your Man

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Overview

We Need to Talk. But First, Do You Like My Shoes?: Dress Codes for Dumping Your Man by Kristina Grish, Maria Raymondstotter

Acclaim for Kristina Grish and We Need to Talk. But First, Do You Like My Shoes?

"Kristina's prose is smart, witty, sassy, and caustic as hell. I'm not surprised. She and I dated in college; I feared her, but Mom loved her. After she ended it, we went on a shopping spree as if to clothe my open wounds. Can I just say that Chapter 9 looks awfully familiar?"

-Jason, ex-boyfriend, lasted two months

"An irreverent, hilarious, and bitingly accurate look at the necessary evil that is extracting oneself from a failed relationship. Even if you're happily coupled, you'll laugh (then shudder) in utter recognition of the funny and precise dating particulars as described by Grish."

-Erin Ergenbright, author of The Ex-Boyfriend Cookbook

"Kristina broke my heart, though her book is simply brilliant. If I knew then what I know now, I never would have been so nice to her dry cleaner. Who knew he was an accessory to the bloody crime?"

-Johnny, ex-boyfriend, lasted 168 hours

"This book answers the age-old philosophical question of what to wear when you dump the bastard, and offers advice on the right accessories. It succeeds where Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates failed."

-Susi Rajah, author of How to Spot a Bastard by His Star Sign

"Just because Kristina killed me wearing cashmere doesn't mean I have to comment on her fancy little project. I liked it, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I thought it was an ambitious, audacious delight by one of the freshest voices of our time. There, I said it. Happy now?"

-Brian, ex-boyfriend, lasted almost five months

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780312318574
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Publication date: 02/17/2004
Edition description: REV
Pages: 80
Product dimensions: 5.32(w) x 7.50(h) x 0.64(d)

About the Author

Kristina Grish holds a B.A. in English and an Advanced Associates Degree from the Fashion Institute of Technology. She's worked as a fashion editor and writer for various magazines and currently contributes trend and relationship features to Marie Claire, Men's Health, Vibe, Outside, and Teen Vogue, among others. She lives in New York.

Maria Raymondstotter holds an advertising degree from Beckmans School of Design and a B. A. with honors in illustration from Kingston University in London. She's worked extensively with top European advertising clients and magazines. Raymondstotter lives in Stockholm with her fiancé, Lee, and their son, Sander.

Read an Excerpt

The First Sign

Maybe it's how he smells in the morning. Or quotes sappy movie lines when you ask for advice. Or tucks his t-shirts so tightly that his belly button has a bumpy silhouette. I mean, does the whole world need to know he has an out-y?

The First Sign that you need to dump your guy can feel like a nudge from The Dating Gods Who Know Something You Don't. Without warning, it elbows your relationship conscience like a barstool joker-and regardless of bad timing or mutual friends, you're suddenly aware that a happier you depends on a precise plan of action. Of course, you're also the only one who understands the potential implications of The First Sign. To everyone else, your boyfriend's lactose intolerance stories are just another one of his quirky traits they tolerate in your company.

Thing is, you might not swiftly act on The First Sign. You may even wait for The Umpteenth Sign to scream that he's history. But when you do, look out. You'll memorize The State of Our Disunion Address, recite it to your cat, skip to the walk-in closet...and here's where the biggest stumper will always await: What the hell are you going to wear for this Friday night-changing event!? After all, a savvy girl knows that a well-planned outfit can say just as much as a well-planned dialogue. And unlike a black tie wedding or Casual Friday, D-Day (Dump Day, that is) has never known a designated dress code-and therefore, leaves you without an aesthetic clue about how your outfit can help drive the point home.

Even if you're confident about your decision, words (just like men) have been known to fail. But how comforting is it to realize that great clothes can say what you may be too nervous, flustered or frustrated to communicate yourself? In We Need To Talk, you'll learn how to cushion his fall with angora or send him into self-loathing regret with a plunging neckline. Is tulle appropriate for an ultimatum conversation? Can a vintage purse tell him things got old in the sack? Read on, sister.

© copyright 2004 by Kristina Grish. All rights reserved

Table of Contents

The First Sign

Chapter 1: The "This Began As A Test To See If We Should Break-Up" Break-Up

Chapter 2: The "I'm Going to Dump You First" Break-Up

Chapter 3: The "Hello, I'm Not Even Your Girlfriend" Break-Up

Chapter 4: The "Can We See Other People?" Break-Up

Chapter 5: The "I've Already Begun Seeing Other People" Break-Up

Chapter 6: The "Now or Never" Break-Up

Chapter 7: The "Just Admit It: You'll Never Understand Me" Break-Up

Chapter 8: The "Let's Do It One Last Time" Break-Up

Chapter 9: The "You Belong In The Recycling Bin" Break-Up

Chapter 10: The "Fade To Black" Break-Up

Chapter 11: The "This Time, It's For Real!" Break-Up

Chapter 12: The "Sneak Attack" Break-Up

Chapter 13: The "I'm Over This, But I Could Use A Reunion Date" Break-Up

Chapter 14: The "We're Through! But Can We Still Fool-Around?" Break-Up

Chapter 15: The "Really, I'm Not Playing Hard To Get" Break-Up

The Last Word

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