When Life Gives You Vampires

by Gloria Duke

Overview

Bridget Jones for the vampire obsessed: fans of Olivia Dade, Tessa Bailey, and Julie Murphy will love to sink their teeth into this charming romantic comedy.

Single (plus size) vampire, desperately in search of a life.

Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imagined, Lily's determined to get to the bottom of it, or die (again) trying.

Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily—it's against vampire law—but now that she's here, they need to team up to save both their hides. They strike an uneasy truce, fending off other vampires, Lily's work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice…all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. 

Falling for her maddeningly gorgeous sire? Easy. Surviving an ancient vampire Master determined to see her twice-dead? Piece of cake. But can Lily ever truly learn to love the woman she'll be forever more?

Perfect for fans looking for:

• a little Halloween spirit
• body positive representation
• enemies to lovers vibes

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781728257440
Publisher:	Sourcebooks
Publication date:	10/04/2022
Series:	Slaying It
Pages:	336
Sales rank:	114,103
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 7.80(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Gloria Duke is a pen name for Gloria Ketterer, a WGA Award-winning radio writer, TV sitcom writer, and brand creative director. When Life Gives You Vampires is her first novel.

Editorial Reviews

08/01/2022

Duke’s lackluster debut uses modern vampire tropes to overlay a bland contemporary romance with unsubtle and poorly executed messaging about body positivity. Plus-size Lily Baines’s flirty encounter with gorgeous, romance-writing vampire Tristan Newberry ends with him unintentionally turning her into a vampire, an unsanctioned action that puts them both in hot water with the Vampire Council. Lily leans on her “vampire geek” best friend, Cat—who’s obsessed with Twilight and who hooks Lily up with blood bank leftovers—while resenting Tristan’s tight-lipped, old-fashioned overprotectiveness and despairing over the fact that, now that she’s undead, losing weight is no longer an option, all while hiding her vampire status from her diet-obsessed mother. As the Council’s threats increase, Lily falls for Tristan even while pushing him to let her be more in charge of her own destiny. Despite being centuries old, Duke’s vampires behave like immature, overdramatic 20-somethings, and Tristan’s behavior comes across more 1950s misogynist than 1800s gentleman. Meanwhile, Lily’s revelation that being fat forever is okay feels disappointingly grounded in Tristan’s attraction to her, leaving the body positive message a little anemic. This is one to skip. Agent: Maria Napolitano, Bookcase Literary. (Oct.)

Publishers Weekly

09/16/2022

DEBUT Lily Baines wakes up alone in her apartment one day with a newly acquired craving for blood and without a reflection. Becoming a vampire overnight and without her consent was not part of her plan, but she quickly embraces her new reality. Lily's maker, Tristan Newberry, is willing to do everything in his power to ease her transition into vampire life and keep her safe from his old enemies, who are not happy that the rules were not followed when Lily became a vampire. Immortality means that Lily is trapped in her plus-sized body for eternity, and while she no longer wants to diet, she has a lot of internal hurdles to overcome before she can begin to truly enjoy eternity. Tristan's appreciation for Lily begins to affect how Lily sees herself and her future as they spend more time together. But maybe the traditional rules of vampirism need to change, and Lily and Tristan might be the ones to lead this evolution. VERDICT The book's near-constant preoccupation with weight may be triggering to some, but readers of paranormal romance who enjoy more character growth than violence might enjoy this debut novel.—Jenna Harmison

Library Journal