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It’s the parenting guide for parents who thought they no longer needed onefor parents who worry as their 20-something kids struggle to grow up; who are saving for retirement but now have to reopen the bank of Mom and Dad; who look forward to downsizing but have a boomerang child living at home again.
And it’s the parenting guide that says it’s all going to be OKjust step back but stay connected, and don’t forget to take care of yourself. Kids may be taking longer to graduate from college, start a career, marry, have children, but it’s natural. Just as scientists a century ago discovered a new phase in life called adolescence, there’s now another developmental stage, emerging adulthood. According to Dr. Jeffrey Arnett, the world’s leading authority on emerging adults, and his coauthor, Elizabeth Fishel, author of Sisters and mother of two 20-something sons, the time spent in emerging adulthood actually helps kids become happier, healthier grown-ups.
When Will My Grown-Up Kid Grow Up? covers every aspect of life for an 18- to 29-year-old, from that first taste of independence at college to that time at the end of the 20s, when the majority of kids are settling down. It explains what grown children are going throughintense self-focus, instability, a feeling of being “in-between” mixed with a breathtaking sense of possibilitiesand how parents should deal with these changes, from six ways to listen more than you talk, to money 101 (and why never to use money to control your child’s life), to troubleshooting their failure to launch, to, finally, the dos and don’ts of promoting a successful transition to adulthood.
Because yes, they really will grow up.
|Publisher:||Workman Publishing Company, Inc.|
|Product dimensions:||6.40(w) x 9.14(h) x 1.04(d)|
About the Author
Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, Ph.D., coined the term “emerging adulthood” and wrote the classic book on this life stage, Emerging Adulthood. He is a research professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University and executive director of the Society for the Study of Emerging Adulthood. He lives in Worcester, Massachusetts.
Elizabeth Fishel is the author of Sisters, Reunion, I Swore I’d Never Do That, and The Men in Our Lives, and a journalist who has written for Vogue, O, Good Housekeeping, Parents, More, Family Circle, and other magazines and newspapers. She lives in Oakland, California, and is the mother of two 20-somethings.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Why This Book (and Why We're Writing It Together) iv
Chapter 1 The Zigzagging Road to Adulthood 1
Chapter 2 Your Parallel Journey 18
Chapter 3 From Parent and Child to (Something Like) Friends 38
Chapter 4 Mom, R U Up? 60
Chapter 5 The College Years 78
Chapter 6 The Boomerang Kid 107
Chapter 7 You Can't Hurry Love 127
Chapter 8 Saying "I Do" or "I Don't" 154
Chapter 9 For Hire 180
Chapter 10 The Bank of Mom and Dad 209
Chapter 11 Keeping the Faith (or Not) 230
Chapter 12 When Things Go Wrong 244
Chapter 13 Emerging at Last 270
What People are Saying About This
"A Dr. Spock for parents with children in all stages of emerging adulthood."
–Robin Marantz Henig, coauthor, with Samantha Henig, of Twentysomething
"Parenting kids in their twenties takes tact, patience, and wisdom. If you find you are running out of all three, you must read When Will My Grown-Up Kid Grow Up? This is the book parents have been waiting for. It will restore your confidence and lift your spirits."
—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., coauthor of Raising Cain
"Wise, very concrete help for parents trying to find the elusive middle ground between biting their tongues and remaining actively involved with the life dilemmas of their emerging adult children."
—Philip and Carolyn Cowan, professors emeriti, University of California, Berkeley
"A timely guide for parents who are navigating their children’s transition to adulthood—helpful, hopeful, and engaging."
—Jeanne Brooks-Gunn, Ph.D., Virginia and Leonard Marx Professor of Child Development, Teachers College, Columbia University