Table of Contents
Introduction: I May Hate Green Beans, but I Love Oreos 13
Part 1 Mirror, Mirror on the Wall 15
1 Why Is Charlie Brown's Teacher Talking to Me? 17
2 36 × 24 × 36 (Only If She's 5′3″) 28
3 Time Marches On All Over Your Face 32
4 Curl Up and Dye 38
5 Class of 1994 45
Part 2 She Works Hard for the Money 49
6 There I Was, Unable to Breathe, on Peter Pan 51
7 Shunning the Dallas Cowboys Organization 57
8 Questionable Deli Meat 63
9 Taking a Deep Breath 69
10 Livin' La Vida Loca 74
11 That Time I Didn't Shower for Three Days 82
12 Tell Your Story 87
Part 3 It Must Have Been Love 97
13 They Lived Happily Ever After 99
14 For Better or For Worse 107
15 A Little Help from My Friends 117
Part 4 Mother May I? 123
16 Cowboy Ken 125
17 American Girl Games 132
18 Lincee Poppins 137
Part 5 Relationship Status 149
19 All the Single Ladies 151
20 Lessons Learned from The Bachelor 153
21 Would You Like to Date Batman? 159
22 This Might Not Be an Everlasting Love 166
23 A Scratch for Every Itch 170
24 Paging Dr. McDreamy 175
25 It Takes a Village 184
26 I Feel the Need. The Need for Speed Dating 191
Reflections 201
Acknowledgments 203