Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made in My Darkest Hour

Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made in My Darkest Hour

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Overview

Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made in My Darkest Hour by Gayle Haggard

“I kept asking myself the crucial question: Who am I going to be in our story? Will I be the woman who washes her hands of the situation and walks away from Ted, or will I be the woman who loves him and shows forgiveness? . . . The choice was mine. A mountain stood in front of me, a difficult climb, and I didn’t know what lay on the other side.” — Gayle Haggard Tyndale House Publishers

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781414335858
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
Publication date: 01/26/2010
Pages: 368
Product dimensions: 6.30(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.30(d)

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Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made in My Darkest Hour 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 28 reviews.
Sophia_K More than 1 year ago
Regardless of whether or not you agree with Gayle or how you feel about Ted Haggard, this is an astonishing book and one of the most interesting memoirs I have read in a long time. There are many different angles to the story that I think will appeal to a wide variety of people-marriage and family, infidelity, sexual identity, healing, being judgmental, love and forgiveness, inner strength, betrayal, commitment, and the list goes on. But what was most fascinating to me, and I think will be for many people, is what happened with the Haggards and the church they started-their forced separation and exile and the other half of the story about Ted's so-called "restoration" as a Christian. How the Haggards were treated by their church and other "Christians" is absolutely appalling. This will be a fascinating book for people who are at all interested in, baffled by, or irritated by religion and/or evangelical Christians, who are the ones that need to read this book more than anyone else. Why I Stayed is a mirror evangelicals need to look into if they want to get a glimpse of how others view them. If they want to be taken seriously and not seen as self-righteous, they need to actually practice the love, forgiveness, and grace that they preach. Reading this book with an open mind would be a convicting way to start. At the beginning of the book, Gayle details how she met Ted and gives an overview of their thirty year marriage and ministry together-crucial information to know in order to understand the scandal that erupted in November of 2006. She details the events from the first horrible days of the scandal through the three years that followed-everything from Ted's confession to her and their children to therapy, from the ridiculous contracts New Life Church had them sign to their move back to Colorado Springs from their exile in Arizona. There are many poignant moments in the book, but the one that moved me to tears was when Gayle described the night she got into the same bed with Ted on the day he told her that some of the allegations were true. Not only does Gayle write about conversations she and Ted had, she gives readers an intimate glimpse into her thoughts and feelings-that takes tremendous courage to write about. A lot of people will resonate with her experience and draw strength from it. It is baffling to me how and why she chose to love and forgive. In the book, she talks about the source of her strength. Gayle does not say that all husbands or wives should stay with their unfaithful and/or abusive spouses-she fully acknowledges that sometimes divorce is better than staying, but she thinks that marriages are worth fighting for if it is possible to save them. This also isn't a shallow exposé or gossip-she gives people the benefit of the doubt. Gayle writes, "I am confident all the people in my story did the best they knew to do, given the very difficult circumstances and the church cultures we have created." I hope that readers will give Gayle the benefit of the doubt and be open-minded when reading her book and not assume from the beginning that she is naïve or in denial. Certainly one should always read with a healthy amount of skepticism, but when it comes to someone's story, we ought to try our best to put ourselves in their shoes before we come to any conclusions. So bravo to Gayle for writing such an eye opening book! I hope that it
taylorspeaks More than 1 year ago
As a member of New Life Church in Colorado Springs for almost 2 decades I can say this read has been a breath of fresh air. As a New Life insider I found Gayle's account of the past few years highly enlightening and it enabled my family to begin to experience some closure on that season of life while igniting passion in me for their vision for the future. "Why I Stayed" is a beautiful story of love, faithfulness, and the strength of a family in the midst of pain, sorrow, and deep rejection. It is a testament to the faithfulness of Jesus and His goodness in the midst of our darkest hours.
Angela Wilkerson More than 1 year ago
this is such a heartfelt and amazing book! i knew God had a reason for me to read it and it helped to answer so many questions that i had in my own marriage. i have known the Haggards since 1995 and i have to say that the people they are today is evident enough to show that God is real and God is true love. Thank you Gayle for your transparency and obeidance to God to follow His will no matter how uncomfortable the process may be
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book allowes the reader to see how our wrong choices can impact our lives forever and shows the trickle down effect . It is how we respond to what happens that truly matters. Gayle stuck by her man because her man was truly sorry for the sorrow he bestowed on his family & himself. He was repentent & wanted help. I was amazed by the sad, sad way in which the body of Christ treated them. "God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you".
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I found this book to be an eye opener and changed the way I think about forgiveness and the character it takes to practice the things that God wants us to be. For anyone who feels bound by their anger, guilt, hurt or pain, I also recommend "When God Stopped Keeping Score." I thought that the book was just about forgiveness, I soon learned, it was about so much more than that. It was about how you should deal with friends, family and yourself and more importantly, how to keep these relationships strong when things go wrong. Having read it, I feel like a better person. Maybe because this book spoke to me and not down to me. I have read a lot of books that was written like I didn't know anything. What the author of "When God Stopped Keeping Score" does is talk to you like a friend. I needed that. You will understand why when you read it.
bev1810 More than 1 year ago
Sometimes I feel the power of choice becomes a cliche in today's world. Promises and vows become everyday words that people used and even when getting married to one another the vows come with little qualifying statements and "Ya buts." This story tells of how powerful sicking to your words and vows can be, and how hard such a thing is to do.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This a bold and honest account of what Ted Haggard put his family through with his actions, as well as a look at the response of this church whether appropriate or not. This is an amazing journey of both grace and God's love for Gayle and Ted as they worked through the most difficult time in their life. GOOD READING, AND INSPIRATION.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Amazing example of living the love Jesus shared with us all when he gave his life for ours. Gayle shares her faith, struggles, pain and heartache. Thank you for sharing and inspiring others to realize we are all human and fall short, but we can choose to trust God and know he will not abandon us.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved it!!!
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After reading Gayle and Ted's story, I am appalled at the church. Who are we to judge sin? Redemption and restoration is what Jesus is all about! I can't understand why New Life Church didn't use the Scriptures? They definitely handled this whole crisis wrong and made it so much worse than it needed to be. What if they had given grace and love to Ted and Gayle and their family and the media showed that instead? New Life could have shined by their love for the Haggard's. God's people need to show the world God's way to forgiveness. I've come to the conclusion that God's church must turn from their sins and turn to the love of Christ to minister to one another. We must move beyond our traditions and seek Him only and become a God Chaser. Come out, Church of God, and be separate and show the world "what Jesus would do" in every day crisis.
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