Why People Don't Heal and How They Can

Why People Don't Heal and How They Can

by Caroline Myss

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780609802243
Publisher: Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale
Publication date: 09/16/1998
Pages: 263
Sales rank: 162,263
Product dimensions: 6.01(w) x 8.95(h) x 0.71(d)

About the Author

Caroline Myss earned her B.A. in journalism, her M.A. in theology, and her Ph.D. in energy medicine.  In 1982, she began working as a medical intuitive, one who "sees" illness in a patient's body by intuitive means.  In 1994 she stopped giving such readings (which Harvard-trained neurosurgeon C. Norman Shealy estimated to be 93% accurate), opting instead to deliver her message to a wider audience through lectures and workshops.  Her schedule is now booked two years in advance, and her workshops draw an average of 1,000 people each.  In 1996, Harmony Books published Myss's book Anatomy of The Spirit, which continued to hit bestseller lists a year after publication.  As Sounds True's bestselling audio author, Myss sells hundreds of audiotapes each week.  In December 1997, PBS will begin airing nationwide a special show on Caroline and her work,  titled Why People Don't Heal and How They Can.

Read an Excerpt

Chapter One

Woundology and the Healing Fire

In the late spring of 1988, I arrived at the Findhorn Community in northeastern Scotland to teach a healing workshop. At that point in my career the people who came to my workshops had tended to be searching for a personal healing. They expected me, as a medical intuitive, to facilitate their healing directly by giving them an individual reading and setting up a treatment regimen for them. (These days my workshops are largely filled with self-reliant people who want to learn how to become more intuitive by learning to speak chakras and so heal themselves and their lives, or professionals looking to learn how to help others heal.)
        
Though I myself am not a healer, I was happy to help them, of course, to the best of my abilities. Often in my readings I was simply validating the suspicions, insights, or intuitions that they already had about themselves and the changes they needed to make in their lives. Sometimes these readings ignited an inner physical and spiritual healing process. Even so, at that time, my workshop participants and I all felt that we were on the right track. After all, healing and health had become the main focus of the holistic or consciousness culture as well as the center of my life. Almost everyone I met, professionally and personally, spoke about either wanting to become a healer or needing a healer, being on their way to visit a new healer, or believing that they were meant to be a healer as soon as they had completed their own healing.
        
I enjoyed traveling around the world and meeting spiritually committed people who needed me as much as I needed them, and I had especially come to love Findhorn, a community of about three hundred people sharing an organic, cooperative life and a respect for all spiritual paths. Some of the community members reside in an enchanting, converted turn-of-the-century hotel; others have made their home quarters in a beautiful park area alongside the Findhorn Bay. The rugged beauty of the Scottish Highlands, combined with the spiritual focus of the community, make Findhorn a most attractive place to be. Whenever I go there, I seem to receive a special energetic charge that results in some important insight, and this visit in 1988 was no exception. This time, however, the insight came in a rather unlikely way.
        
Prior to beginning the weeklong workshop, I had arranged to have lunch with my dear friend Mary. Having arrived early in the dining room, I joined two gentlemen for tea. Mary entered a while later, and when she walked over to our table, I introduced her to my companions. She had just extended her hand to greet them when another member of the Findhorn community, Wayne, came up to her and asked, Mary, are you busy on June eighth? Were looking for someone to escort a guest coming to Findhorn for the day.
        
The tone of Mary's response was as revealing as its length. She snapped, June eighth? Did you say June eighth? Suffused with anger and resentment, she continued, Absolutely not! June eighth is my incest support group meeting, and I would never, ever miss that meeting! We count on each other, after all. We incest victims have to be there for one another. I mean, who else do we have?
        
Mary went on for a while longer, but this is as much as I can accurately remember. I was captivated by the instantaneous dramatics triggered by a simple question about her schedule. Wayne hardly took notice of her response, thanked her, and left, but I was astonished. Later, as Mary and I were having lunch, I asked her about her behavior:
        
Mary, why, when you were answering Wayne's question about your schedule, did you have to let all three men know that you had suffered incest as a young girl, that you were still angry about it, that you were angry with men in general, and that you intended to control the atmosphere of the conversation with your anger? All Wayne asked you was, Are you busy June eighth? and in response you gave these three men a miniature therapy class. A simple yes or no would have done fine.
        
Mary looked at me as if I had betrayed her. Her body stiffened, and she emphasized her words in an ice-cold, defensive tone: I answered that way because I am a victim of incest. She drew back from the table, stopped eating, and threw her napkin over her plate, indicating that our lunch together had come to a close. Although I didn't realize it at that moment, so had our friendship.
        
Mary, honey, I replied, softening my own tone somewhat, I know you're a victim of incest, but what I'm trying to figure out is why you found it necessary to tell two strangers and Wayne your history when all he wanted to know was whether you could help out on June eighth. Did you want these men to treat you a certain way or talk to you in a certain way? What made you lay your wounds out on the table within seven seconds of meeting two new people?
        
Mary told me that I simply did not understand because I had not endured what she and numerous other incest victims had gone through, but that she had expected me as a friend to be more compassionate. I replied that lack of compassion had nothing to do with what I was asking her. I could feel the separation of--energy between us as I realized that in order for our friendship to continue, I needed to speak wounds to Mary, to follow some--very specific rules of how a supportive friend was to behave, and to bear always in mind that she defined herself by a negative experience.
        
In addition to her painful childhood history, Mary also had a history of chronic ailments. She was always in pain--some days emotional, some days physical. Though she was kind and always ready to support her friends, she much preferred the company of people who had also had abusive childhoods. That day at our lunch, I realized that Mary needed to be with people who spoke the same language and shared the same mindset and behaviors. I immediately began to think of this attitude as woundology. I have since become convinced that when we define ourselves by our wounds, we burden and lose our physical and spiritual energy and open ourselves to the risk of illness.
        
That day I felt as if I had been catapulted out of the surrounding healing culture of Findhorn and the general consciousness movement and was viewing it as an outsider. Although I had not previously noticed this pattern of thought and behavior in Mary or in anyone else, the very next day, curiously, a miniature version of the Mary incident took place in my workshop.
        
I had arrived twenty minutes early to get ready for my presentation and noticed a woman sitting alone. I sat down next to her and asked, What's your name? That's all I asked. Yet without even looking at me, she responded:
        
I'm a victim of incest, but I'm fifty-six years old now and I'm over that trauma. I have a wonderful support group, and several of us get together at least once a week, which I believe is essential to healing.
        
She still had not told me her name, so I asked again, And what's your name? But she still didn't answer me directly. She seemed to be in a daze. It felt to me as if she had been preparing for a long time to say something publicly, and now, given the opportunity, she couldn't hear any questions that didn't relate to her agenda. Instead of telling me her name, she said how much she enjoyed coming to workshops like mine because a person was free to speak openly about his or her past, and she hoped that I would allow time for people to share their personal histories. I thanked her and left the room, needing a few moments to gather my thoughts.
        
Meeting this woman the day after the incident with Mary was not a coincidence. I believe I was being directed to pay attention to the ways we expect to heal our lives--through therapy and support groups. So many people in the midst of a process of healing, I saw, are at the same time feeling stuck. They are striving to confront their wounds, valiantly working to bring meaning to terrible past experiences and traumas, and exercising compassionate understanding of others who share their wounds. But they are not healing. They have redefined their lives around their wounds and the process of accepting them. They are not working to get beyond their wounds. In fact, they are stuck in their wounds. Now primed to hear people speak woundology, I believe I was meant to challenge the assumptions that I and many others then held dear--especially the assumption that everyone who is wounded or ill wants the full recovery of their health.

Table of Contents

Introduction: What Is Energy Medicine?..............................ix
PART ONE: WHY PEOPLE DON'T HEAL ....................................1
PART TWO: ... AND HOW THEY CAN....................................121
Epilogue: Snow White and the Seven Chakras........................249
Acknowledgments....................................................253
Index..............................................................255

Interviews

On Thursday, December 4th, barnesandnoble.com welcomed Caroline Myss, author of WHY PEOPLE DON'T HEAL AND HOW THEY CAN.


Moderator: Welcome, Dr. Myss! Thanks for joining us tonight.

Caroline Myss: Good evening, it's good to be here.



Soraya from White Plains: When did you realize that you had this ability to "intuit" medical problems? Is this ability something you worked on to develop or was it always apparent? Thank you.

Caroline Myss: When I was about 15, I apparently showed a sensitivity in this direction, but it went to sleep and I didn't show it again until I was in my 30s. Do I think everyone can learn it, yes. I can teach everyone to read the notes, but not everyone will be a concert pianist.



Joyce from Colorado: Hello, Dr. Myss. What does the term "energy medicine" mean? Is it a recent term?

Caroline Myss: First, it means the following Health techniques aimed primarily at assisting the energetic part of the body. The term was coined independently by at least five or six different people who don't know each other, about five or ten years ago.



Laura Camp from Wichita, Kansas: Caroline, I am a member of the Myss discussion group on the net. Several of us would appreciate learning more about the "contract before incarnation," specifically, where did this concept come from? Or is it more of a construct to help us view our lives symbolically (e.g., give us the distance to "look down on ourselves, as from above"? Thanks for doing this work. Peace, /Laura

Caroline Myss: Thanks for the support. I coined this term because as I was doing readings, I began to see a connection between archetypal clusters that were the primary influences in a person's life. People had the same number of them but differed in which archetypes they had.



Shirl from West Hollywood: Just sending you belated birthday wishes, Caroline! May your path this year be charged with the luminous reflection of all the healing insights you share with us.

Caroline Myss: Thank you.



Damon from Georgia: Would you say that WHY PEOPLE DON'T HEAL is an extension of ANATOMY OF THE SPIRIT? Do you need to read ANATOMY OF THE SPIRIT to understand HEAL?

Caroline Myss: No, not at all. They are subject matters separate and independent. One is dedicated to showing the unifications of the spirit, and the other challenges the question of why we don't heal and how we can.



Warren from Seattle: Please,what is the difference between remission and resolution in regard to illness? Gone is gone, we don't say a broken bone is in remission when it heals. Is "remission" a cop-out explanation for that which is not understood? If a cancer disappears and the person gets cancer later, is that not a demonstration of either a new mystical problem, or an unresolved problem that could and probably has nothing to do with the "resolved" illness? Thanks, see you in January.

Caroline Myss: Let's just tackle the difference in terms hereResolution means you brought something to closure, remission says to me you put something on hold; I consider remission a pause.



Shirley from Los Angeles: A longtime friend and I have had some heated conflicts in recent years. I feel I have forgiven her for the way she has treated me (displaying intolerance and not respecting boundaries), yet I don't want to continue an active relationship.I love and forgive her but don't want to be a target for her criticism anymore. Am I deluding myself about truly reaching a state of forgiveness toward her?

Caroline Myss: Well, first I would ask you to evaluate how you've treated your friend. There's usually some mutuality going on; you've got to evaluate your own behavior. Usually when people do this they find a more compassionate viewpoint. As far as forgiveness goes, you know you've forgiven someone when you can be around them and talk about them without your blood boiling -- when you have a comfort zone.



Frances Friedland from Toronto, Canada: Caroline, first of all I want to say I'm very impressed with your work (writings, tapes, etc.). I'm very inspired by them. Thank you for sharing them with us! The question I suffer from severe headaches and migraines. What issues mightthese relate to? What things should I pay attention to? Thanks. CM

Caroline Myss: In my experience, in the majority of people who have issues related to migraines, the core of the pain is very intense anger -- fire anger -- and note that there are genetic reasons for migraines, like allergies. In addition, migraines are heavy anger, feelings that others control you and you don't have the power to do anything about it.



Robyn from Rarotonga, Cook Islands: I just listened to "Energy Anatomy" and felt it was transformational. Will you continue to do lectures of this length and detail on tape?

Caroline Myss: Yes. No immediate plans, but yes, it's been very effective for paople.



Paul Malkin from Yorkshire, UK: I have been having vision and balance problems and last week was diagnosed as having multiple sclerosis. WHY PEOPLE DON'T HEAL AND HOW THEY CAN is not out in the UK yet. Can you suggest where I should start in terms of establishing a healing process for myself?

Caroline Myss: One, find the most progressive allopathic crew you can get your hands on. Two, find a teacher of yoga or meditation who can help you to balance yourself internally, spiritually -- you've got to learn to do this because it's the counter to imbalance. Keep abreast of all research being done on MS, because it's in an epidemic proportion right now, and a great deal of research is being aimed in that direction.



Milicent from Baltimore: Do you believe in therapy as a part of healing? What about support groups?

Caroline Myss: Oh yes, I think it's a crucial part of healing -- not for everyone, you don't need it for broken legs. If therapy becomes a lifestyle, that's when you have a problem.



Kathleen Sykes from Seattle: I've often found comfort in believing that God only gives you what you can handle and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. It sounds like part of WHY PEOPLE DON'T HEAL adheres to that belief, especially with "symbolic sight." Am I on the mark?

Caroline Myss: Yep! Well done, I might add.



Barbara from Washington State: Can you tell us anything further about your planned guided tour to Egypt in 1999?

Caroline Myss: There's a lot of additional social activity that the brochure did not list that introduces the group to Egyptian culture. The people running the tour are very familiar with Egypt as they've done this for 36 previous trips, so their contacts within Egypt are superb.



Elke (28 years old) from New York City: Dr. Myss, I am slightly familiar with your work and intrigued by the idea that chronic problems can be attributed to our spirit. I suffer from chronic head colds/sinus infections and have tried everything in terms of prevention. Where should I look -- in terms of my psyche or spirit -- to minimize them?

Caroline Myss: Have you tried a sinus specialist, or an acupuncturist? I suffered from sinus headaches for 30 years and found that the cause was actually not spiritual, but that my body could not tolerate cold air and air-pressure changes and what caused the headaches to reduce by 95 percent was to wear a ski headband across my forehead (I'm wearing one right now) to keep warmth in my sinus cavities.



Pam from Kenwood, CA: You write about the contract we make before we incarnate. This is a concept I'm having trouble grabbing onto. I've never heard this before. Could you elaborate?

Caroline Myss: Nobody lives a random life; everybody has what appears to be a specific life purpose, for no matter how much we might try to live in other directions, to make other choices, the fact remains that the vast majority of people end up living a life they had not planned to live. This suggests that a life pattern was already at work within us and on our behalf prior to our incarnation. And, incidentally, I coined the term.



Llama from Bridgewater, NJ: I read that you will be starting a series on PBS, à la Andrew Weil. Has it started yet? Could you please tell us more about it?

Caroline Myss: Yes it has started, and this Sunday from 4 till 8 it will be broadcast on the East Coast;thanks for asking about that.



Debbie from San Antonio: I read ANATOMY OF THE SPIRIT and was fascinated about the biology of the mind, but couldn't understand how to put the knowledge to good use. Does your new book cover information about how to stop wasting energy once we've identified the sources?

Caroline Myss: Oh yeah! In depth, I might add!



Bill Charleston from Columbia, SC: I've been married twice, and going into both marriages I thought that they would work through their problems and we'd "live happily ever after." But, it seems ALL the unhappiness got turned TOWARD me. QuestionDo you just avoid everyone who isn't healed who you may want to get close to, or do you just keep them at a distance when all those problems seem to surface? I used to feel love could conquer ALL, but I've found out differently.

Caroline Myss: I suggest that you read fairy tales and about how knights need to rescue damsels, because what you're describing is the classic example of the wife who's a perfect damsel before marriage without seeing any shady sides to her until after the marriage. You've got to realize that before you know someone's shadow sides, you shouldn't marry them.



Blake Tabackman from Baltimore: What was your life like as a child? Like where did you grow up?

Caroline Myss: I had a great childhood, I was never abused, etc.... I hung out with cousins and relatives very often. I grew up in Chicago -- cold in the winter, humid in the summer.



Garcia from Vermont: I was particularly intrigued about "woundology" in ANATOMY OF THE SPIRIT. Do you talk a lot about "woundology" in HEAL? Have we become a nation addicted to our own problems?

Caroline Myss: I thoroughly investigate it, which is why I coined the phrase.



Maureen from River Forest, Il: Good evening...So much of the literature of healing cites the healing of diseases that have remission potential; i.e., MS, lupus, cancer. Does your experience or your new book address the potential of healing supposedly incurable, chronic, progressive illnesses? Or is the healing reality more spiritual in coming to terms with the losses of health and making peace.

Caroline Myss: No, I address very specifically physical healing, as well as realize that physical healing may not be the end result -- the fact is that death is a reality and we can't consider death a failure.



Michael from New York: I read ANATOMY OPF THE SPIRIT but not your current book. I'm 31 and have always had a problem accepting help from others. I'd rather fail on my own than succeed with others. I know this can keep me from what I ultimately want, but I can't seem to let go. Why is it so difficult for me to relax and let others in?

Caroline Myss: Probably partly pride, maybe just accepting the fact that you're more attracted to doing it alone. You need to get over your anxiety about this -- just realize that's how you operate. There is such a thing as loner's pride, but it's not a real thing.



Terry Denny from Urbana, Illinois: We have been discussing your work in a small Roman Catholic study group. Is it probable that a tribal group such as ours can develop into a spiritually advanced state such as you describe in ANATOMY OF THE SPIRIT? Thank you for your wonderful work.

Caroline Myss: I'm assuming you are talking about your study group and not the entire Catholic Church, but as far as your group, it's possible to accomplish anything -- work through the positives as well as the difficulties.



Kathy from Il: How do you determine if a health problem is caused by spiritual imbalance or physical reasons, e.g. your sinus problems?

Caroline Myss: To some extent, it doesn't matter because you benefit by assuming it's connected to both anyway. Ultimately it is connected to both -- everything is ultimately connected to both.



S. B. from CA: Dr. Myss In relation to the concept of a spiritual "contract" we make before incarnation, were you aware as a child (or after your psychic abilities appeared at age 14) that YOU had a significant destiny to fulfill in this life? Many thanks for all you sacrifice (like homelife!) to bring us your insights.

Caroline Myss: I'm not sacrificing much, frankly. But I knew from the time I was very young that I would not have an ordinary life. I announced at age seven to my mother that I would be a writer, but I believe that everybody has a sense that their life is going to be unusual. I will admit that I never anticipated doing what I'm doing, but the bottom line is that most everyone can say that so I don't think I'm living that unusual of a life.



Bernice from Los Angeles: Do you touch on the ancient system of spiritual psychology known as the enneagram in any of your workshops, Dr. Myss? You are a wonderful teacher.

Caroline Myss: No, I respect it, but I don't use it.



Glenn Toups from Spring (Houston), TX: In your tape series " Energy Anatomy," you talked about having to go through a dark night to get to know one's purpose. Can you elaborate a little more on that? Thanks.

Caroline Myss: You need to be able to stand on your own spiritually, and be able to hold your center and not need others' approval of your choices in life. A dark night is a journey away from the power others have over you and connecting to the powers God has within you.



Jodie from New Hampshire: I have so enjoyed your tapes. I am giving them as Christmas gifts. I hope to be able to meet you at your workshop next fall on the East Coast. Are you by any chance familiar with the material in "A Course in Miracles"?

Caroline Myss: Thanks for your support. Yes, I am very familiar with the material in "A Course In Miracles." I have a deep regard for it, but I don't bring it into my workshops -- it is not my role to teach the work of other people.



Moderator: Thanks, Dr. Myss, for guiding us to the path to wellness! Goodnight and happy holidays!

Caroline Myss: Thank you, bless you all.


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Why People Don't Heal and How They Can [With Earbuds] 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 2 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Caroline is more than intuitive, she has definite reason and there is a step by step analysis in this book which can be applied and is absolutely helpful. She uncovers obscure or hidden pains and emotional ties which the reader would have difficulty confronting without her expertise.
jackie1966 on LibraryThing 7 months ago
Have you considered reading the book by Carolyn Myss, "Why People Don't Heal?" I have read her book on more than one occasion but just recently reviewed it as my chronic nodules acne will not "go away" or "heal." Do you have a persistent illness? If so, please take the time to read her book as it has so many insightful things to learn from. Let me first point out that any Dis-ease is your body trying to point to you something that needs to be healed. Our illnesses can be genetic as I claim not to be a doctor but wish to discuss my opinion of why we may not heal. Many times as we encounter illness that persist can be due to our past emotions that have not yet healed. Do you agree or disagree? Illnesses cause great pain with our physical, mental, emotional or psychological makeup. Wouldn't you agree then that "PAIN" is a sign that "something inside needs to be changed in order to heal it?" I know from experience, due to stress that is why my body reacts the way it does to this persistent nodules acne condition by evaluating the circumstances of my own life in the past year. I can pinpoint that "STRESS" is helping to keep my condition in its current chronic state. In order for healing to take place the stress must be reduced and eliminated; wouldn't you agree? I blame, Stress and once I heal that factor then the root of my problem is addressed and can be healed. What a "revelation." Written by Jackie Paulson © 2011