With My Eyes Wide Open: Miracles and Mistakes on My Way Back to KoRn

With My Eyes Wide Open: Miracles and Mistakes on My Way Back to KoRn

by Brian "Head" Welch

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780718091507
Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
Publication date: 05/09/2017
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 170,406
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Brian “Head” Welch is the cofounder and lead guitarist of the Grammy Award–winning, multi-platinum metal band KoRn. He is also the bestselling author of the book Save Me from Myself. He lives in Nashville, TN.

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With My Eyes Wide Open

Miracles and Mistakes On My Way Back To Korn


By Brian Welch

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2016 Brian Welch
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-7180-3061-2



CHAPTER 1

THE SUITE LIFE AND "THE CULT"


I've often wondered why there isn't some kind of system in place that decides who can and can't have kids. Think about it. Any moron can have a child. Take me for example. I was an alcoholic meth-head with a train wreck of a marriage who spent more time on the road partying with his band than he did at home playing with his kid. Not exactly what you'd call father- of- the- year material.

Granted, I wasn't a complete idiot. I did help form a successful band, and we did go on to sell almost 40 million albums and win two Grammys. For more than a decade, we were at the top of the music scene. Sold-out concerts. World tours. Award shows. Money. Fame. Professionally speaking, we had it all. Our personal lives, however, were pathetic — especially mine.

But even morons can change. In 2005, after years of living the typical rock- star lifestyle plagued by substance abuse, serious domestic issues, and eventually divorce, I decided to accept an invitation from my friends Eric, Doug, and Sandy to go to church.

I had just moved back to my hometown of Bakersfield, California, to be close to my family. A single dad, I was trying to raise six-year-old Jennea by myself, and I needed help — a lot of help. Thank God my parents were, and still are, amazing. They loved Jennea to death and were extremely supportive, but I was still struggling. And I was tired. Tired of being a meth-head. Of living a double life. Tired of fighting with depressing, suicidal thoughts. I had tried willpower and doctors to help me get clean, but I always ended up with less than impressive results. So when Doug said, "Hey, Brian, why don't you come to church with us on Sunday?" I decided to go ahead and give church — and God — a try.

That's when it happened. I had an encounter with Christ that changed my life forever. I didn't see him with my physical eyes — it was much deeper than that. I saw him with the eyes of my heart, and my spirit knew the exact moment he walked into the room and actually touched me. I was suddenly and completely consumed by a love from another dimension as Christ literally came to live inside of me that very moment. I had heard people talk about Christ residing in a person's heart, but this was a reality being powerfully demonstrated in my life right then.

It's pretty impossible to describe heavenly things with earthly language, so just know that what I'm attempting to describe is way better than these words.

Earthly language can only symbolize what the beauty of the heavenly reality actually is.

Everything changed for me in that moment.

I felt God's divine love flow through me, and that love infused me with an incredible power. It gave me the power to break free from meth and every other addiction I had, and it gave me the strength to walk away from a wildly successful music career so I could focus all my energy on the one thing that mattered more to me than anything else in the world — raising my daughter.

God, in his infinite mercy, had pushed the reset button on my life, and I was determined to make things right. I was clean. I was eating better. I was exercising. I was going to church and developing my relationship with Christ. I had officially left KoRn (very publicly, I might add), and now I was about to spring the huge surprise on Jennea.

You see, the thing Jennea needed the most in her life at that time was stability. Her mother, Rebekah, had fallen into drugs (along with me) and disappeared out of our lives back when my little girl was just a baby, and all Jennea really knew about me was that I wasn't around very much.

Well, all that was about to change.

One morning, while Jennea was playing with her toys, I crouched down in front of her and said, "Jennea, guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm going to quit work so I can be at home with you full time."

Jennea's eyes lit up, and she broke into a huge smile.

"Really?!" she squealed.

"Yeah. I love you, and I want to take care of you all the time from now on. What do you think?"

"Cool!" she shouted, wrapping her arms around my neck in a hug.

I was on top of the world. The look on her little face was worth more to me than all the gold and platinum albums on earth. I was loving every second of it.

This was it. I was going to create a whole new life for us.

So what did I do? I did what all morons do. I did the complete opposite of what I should have done.

When you've been a rock star for eleven years and are fresh off of a two-year meth addiction, even when God opens your eyes to experience his love, you don't automatically gain the ability to always make good decisions. And let's be honest, I wasn't the best at making good decisions to begin with. Some of my intentions were good, but even then my timing and execution were horrible.

My first idiotic move was yanking Jennea out of the school she had been attending because I wanted her to go to school at our new church, Valley Bible Fellowship. Then a few months later, I pulled her out of that school and hired a friend to be her nanny and homeschool her. Why? So I could eventually go out on tour later that year. That's right. The ink in the magazine articles about me quitting KoRn to become a clean-living, Jesus- following, stay- at- home dad had barely even dried, and already I had yanked my daughter out of two different schools and hired a nanny so I could hit the road again.

Yep ... I was doin' great.

I'm what you might call an all-or-nothing type of guy. Whatever I do, I do it big — 100 percent — even when it completely contradicts something else I've committed to doing 100 percent. Yeah, I know. It doesn't make a lot of sense. Like I said, sound, logical decision making wasn't exactly my strongest trait back then.

After I left KoRn, I became convinced that my new calling was to become a solo artist and change lives through my music. So I started working on new songs and basically ran around like a chicken with its head cut off, making plans to record my solo album and prepare for a big tour. I was running on pure spirit- driven adrenaline. Passion pushed logic and common sense right out the window, and for a few short weeks, I was convinced that by year's end I would start touring full time again — and be there for Jennea at the same time. Then one day I woke up and realized I was being an idiot.

I had made a promise to my daughter, and I needed to keep my word. I still felt called to reach out to people through my music, but for now anyway, the world would have to wait. There was one little girl who had already been waiting for me long enough.

So later that summer I let the nanny go, along with the solo- tour plans, and Jennea and I packed up and moved to Phoenix, Arizona. It was a fresh start. Just the two of us. I bought us a beautiful little three- bedroom house right at the base of a rocky, Arizona desert–looking mountain. It was a great neighborhood with nice families and close to a solid school system. Typical suburbia. Very stable and very normal. In fact, the only weird thing in the whole neighborhood was me.

The first time I took Jennea to her new school, I dropped her off in my humongous Hummer. It was all decked out with a crazy paint job, red flames on the sides, and a lift kit that raised it up twelve inches.

That thing was a beast.

When I pulled up in the parking lot, the kids all screamed, "Look at that truck! That thing is soooo cool!" One kid even asked me, "Are you a rock star or something?" Elementary- school kids are so easy to impress.

Still, we were trying to keep a low profile, so I eventually donated the Hummer to the Dream Center in Los Angeles and got myself a slightly more sensible Ford Magnum. I tinted the windows and the thing had really cool rims, so it was a modest-yet-still-very-cool-looking new ride.

After our flashy entrance that first day, though, I decided it might be a good idea to meet with Jennea's principal and explain our situation. And to my surprise, it turned out that this was by far the coolest principal I'd ever met, which also turned out to be helpful because we quickly ran into a few bumps with some of the other parents.

One day, shortly after meeting the principal, something rather odd yet comical happened after I picked Jennea up from school. It turns out a very troubled mother came into the principal's office to voice a serious concern. Apparently, there was "a strange man in the parking lot with long hair and lots of tattoos." Needless to say, she was extremely worried for the children's safety.

"Was he skinny with long, straight black hair?" the principal asked.

"Yes, exactly!" the woman answered excitedly, thinking she was doing her civic duty by calling out the scary loser in the parking lot.

"Oh, no, that's only Brian Welch, Jennea's dad. He's a sweetheart. Loves Jesus. He's harmless," said the principal with a laugh.

Sadly, I think she had that conversation a lot that semester.

It's funny. In my past life, I fit right in. But as a single dad trying to walk the straight- and- narrow, I stood out like a sore thumb. No matter how hard I tried to fit into life in suburbia, I would never look the part.

If I tried to be discreet and play it cool, I became the weird-child-molester guy. People would give me strange looks, and women would hold their purses a little tighter when I was around. But as soon as they found out I used to be in a huge rock band, I became the hero who left the evil rock- star life because I became a Christian and wanted to be a better dad. But I have to admit, that's a way better label than weird- child- molester guy.

Anyway, as soon as we got Jennea settled into school and the principal had successfully reassured the PTA that I wasn't going to kidnap and eat their children, the next order of business was to get Jennea a pet.

Naturally, she wanted a dog. What kid doesn't? But I just couldn't do it. Think about it. Who was going to have to take care of it all day while Jennea was at school? Exactly. No dog. End of story. So we drove to the nearest pet store to pick up one of the easiest pets in the world to care for — a hamster. I wanted to give the thing a typical hamster name like Whiskers, but Jennea overruled me and named him Cody after the kid on Disney's The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

Since I had vetoed the whole puppy idea, I decided to go above and beyond with this hamster situation. That hamster had a full- on, two- story hamster mansion with a network of plastic tubes to crawl in, multicolored bedding, and every chew toy on the market. It was the tricked- out Hummer of hamster houses. I even got one of those see- through plastic balls that it could roll around the house in. Unfortunately every time that little rat got in that ball, it took a leak. Every. Time. And because the ball had holes in it, the pee leaked out all over the floor. It was disgusting. And this from a guy who used to be the king of all things disgusting!

Urine-soaked floors aside, Jennea and I were adjusting well to life in Phoenix. Jennea was doing great in school and was making some really good friends. And for a guy who had no idea what he was doing, I was doing a pretty good job of being a full-time, stay-at-home dad. After a while, though, I started to get a little antsy. I loved spending time with Jennea, but I also missed making music — which brings me to one of the reasons I decided to settle specifically in Phoenix ... despite my best intentions.

Back when I was with KoRn, one of our personal security guards had a friend who used to come out to our shows in Arizona and bring our guys weed. He was a charismatic character, and everyone really liked him. After I quit the band, the media exploded. Everyone wanted to hear about the meth-head rocker who was walking away from a multimillion- dollar career to follow Jesus and spend time with his little girl. A few months later, my old weed- dealer friend called to tell me he'd heard about my story and that he was also a Christian.

A Christian weed dealer? Hmmm. That sounds ... yeah ... well, he must be done dealing weed, I thought.

Anyway, he told me about a friend of his in Arizona named Edgar, who owned a couple of recording and film studios in Phoenix and Burbank and had a similar conversion story to mine. Because we had so much in common, he insisted that I meet his friend. So I agreed.

It turns out the holy weed dealer was right. Edgar and I did have a lot in common. He'd had a rough childhood, and by the time he was in his twenties, he had gotten involved in organized crime on the East Coast. But he had found Jesus a few years before me and supposedly turned his life around. Before long we started hanging out together at his studio in Burbank and going to different churches in the LA/ Orange County area together.

For the most part, I really liked Edgar. He was smart, personable, funny, charismatic, and he seemed genuinely interested in helping people figure out their calling in life. And yet the more I got to know him, the more I started to sense that something about him was a little off. It was almost as though he had a couple of different personalities all competing for space inside his head. He'd be a humble man one day and an underhanded businessman the next — though I didn't find that part out until much later. But hey, I had once gone to Israel dressed up like Jesus with a beard and a flowing white robe. And another time I went to hang out with a bunch of cannibalistic headhunters in India, so who was I to judge?

Right about the time I was looking to make a fresh start with Jennea, Edgar and I figured the best option was for me to move down to Phoenix and join him and a few other musicians who were forming a community focused on music. Even though there was something a little off about this dude, I loved the thought of being able to work on my music during the day, while still being home for Jennea in the evenings and on weekends. It was the best of both worlds.

I had started writing songs for my first solo record immediately after I left KoRn, but once I connected with Edgar and his friends down in Phoenix, my writing really amped up.

Figuring out my style of music and lyrics came relatively easy. I knew I wanted to do music that sounded similar to KoRn, but I wanted it to be more spiritual and uplifting in nature. I wanted that same heavy, dirty- edge sound of the guitars, but I also wanted that aggression to go somewhere — for the songs to go to a melodic place that could lift a soul to a reality of peaceful release. As for the lyrics, I just wanted them to be real. Real about my life. My addictions. My pain. My depression. And most of all, real about the freedom in Christ from all those heavy weights that I had carried around with me for so many years.

There were three projects all going on around the same time at Edgar's studio: mine and two others. And Edgar was running point on all of them. There was also an assistant who helped with reception, two engineers named Fernando and Rodrigo, a handful of editors, and a few other artists like me who had followed Edgar to Phoenix. Together, we made up a unique little musical community, and most of us were Christian. The funny thing is, we all used to joke around and say we were like a little cult, with Edgar being our leader. So I still like to refer to our little community as "the cult" for my own amusement.

Edgar did a great job of convincing everyone that he was gonna lead us all into great success with all our different projects. He would meet with different people and excitedly convince them that he felt God was leading him to manage their projects, whether it was music, movies, food stores, or whatever else came across his path. And he really believed he was called to do it. The other musicians and I believed it, too, and from the day we first met, I would have followed Edgar anywhere. In fact, I did.

Case in point: One day some people from Croatia came by one of Edgar's film- editing studios to talk about forming a possible partnership. They had massive movie studios in Croatia that had suffered through some kind of creative or financial drought and were looking for American partners with connections to Hollywood to help breathe life into the entertainment business in their country again. How they stumbled upon Edgar, I have no idea, but once he worked his charm, they were hooked. And so was I. Before any of us knew what happened, Edgar had arranged for the two of us to fly out to Croatia to see their studios and finalize the deal.

On the one hand I was stoked. As part of the deal, Edgar had arranged to use their studios to do my first professional photo shoot since leaving KoRn. That meant we'd be able to send new music and photos to record labels in hopes of inking a deal for my first solo album. It also meant I'd be away from home for about a week.

Enter the guilt.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from With My Eyes Wide Open by Brian Welch. Copyright © 2016 Brian Welch. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Note to Readers xv

Prologue 1

1 The Suite Life and "the Cult" 5

2 High School Musical, Hannah Montana, and Meltdowns 21

3 The Kiss of Failure, the Light at Hope 35

4 Heaven and Hell 59

5 It's a Dog-Eat-Dog World 77

6 Chapter 11 101

7 Just Like Old Times 119

8 Back Where I Belong 131

9 Going Nuclear 151

10 What Goes Down, Must Come Up 175

Epilogue 199

A Note from Jennea 205

A Note from Brian 207

Acknowledgments 211

About the Author 213

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With My Eyes Wide Open: Miracles and Mistakes on My Way Back to KoRn 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 28 reviews.
ChaseXRG More than 1 year ago
Having been a KoRn fan my entire life and reading Head's previous books, I have to say this is a must read for ANYONE! KoRn was there for me musically during being a troubled teen just trying to fit in but Head has been there spiritually for me being an (even more) troubled adult. Dealing with My own demons during Save me From My Self and more recently just reading his inspirational stories while dealing with the recent loss of my daughter. The best part about Head, as an author, is he is quite literally an open book. He is not ashamed to tell you the most gritty parts on his journey in Christ is detail. The man is an inspiration so anyone, anything that is getting you down, he has more than likely lived through and is there to tell you God will provide for you even when you feel like your gutter is basically as deep as hell itself. Going from where his first book left off, I was fortunate enough to see him and meet him during the time covered in this book, and it's amazing to be able to go behind the scenes and see what was going on in his life during this time. I highly recommend this book (or any of his to be honest) to anyone, be it a fan of his music, a fan of hard music in general, or just a random person....because he says stuff we all need to hear Not in a strict father way but in a "I love you and it will be okay" way
Nunooficial More than 1 year ago
MY REVIEW IN PORTUGUESE: "O guitarrista do Korn Brian "Head" Welch lança seu livro autobiográfico chamado "With My Eyes Wide Open: Miracles And Mistakes On My Way Back To Korn" (Com os meus olhos bem abertos: Milagres e erros no meu caminho de volta ao Korn") Escrito em parceria com Carol Traver, o livro fala sobre o período de oito anos em que o músico deixou o Korn e abraçou o cristianismo num despertar espiritual. Neste livro você acompanha a jornada de um homem que teve que lidar com os mais baixos pontos da vida em diferentes ocasiões mas não deixou sua fé ser abalada por isso. Sendo pai/mãe 24dias por semana Head enfrentou dificuldades com a criação de sua filha Jennea que lutava contra uma forte depressão e momentos de partir o coração de qualquer pai, Brian teve que conciliar tudo isso com seu chamado divino e carreira solo, um forte dilema é imposto ao se questionar se deveria voltar a banda que o mesmo deixou para criar sua filha, mas Brian deixou que Deus o guiasse pelo caminho que ele jamais sonhou em trilhar de volta a suas origens, amigos e com uma missão ainda mais iluminada para se cumprir. Apesar de sua história ser selvagem, divertida, e profundamente comovente, a mensagem é simples: Deus vai te amar pela liberdade de ser você mesmo, enquanto você manter este relacionamento com ele e nunca, nunca desistir. O novo livro virá ainda com um link para o download gratuito da faixa inédita "Lo Lamento" do Love and Death, projeto paralelo de Brian Welch. Esse não é o primeiro livro de Brian Welch. Em 2007, o músico lançou "Save Me From Myself" (Salve-me De Mim Mesmo), no qual falava sobre os excessos da vida na estrada e no rock n' roll alcool, drogas e automedicação e como essas coisas destruíram sua vida. No ano seguinte, "Washed by Blood: Lessons from My Time with Korn and My Journey to Christ" (Lavado Pelo Sangue: Lições da época do Korn e De Minha Jornada Até Cristo) chegou às prateleiras e era uma versão diferente para a mesma história. Dois anos depois, em 2010, o guitarrista lançou "Stronger: Forty Days of Metal and Spirituality" (Mais Forte: Quarenta Dias de Metal e Espiritualidade), um livro com 40 passagens da Bíblia que foram importantes em sua jornada para se livrar das drogas. Brian deixou o Korn para ajudar a si mesmo, voltou para ajudar outros e ao longo do caminho, ele quase perdeu tudo, menos sua fé!"
LauraPColeman2016 More than 1 year ago
This book immediately draws you into the incredible journey of Brian "Head" Welch's journey to find freedom and restoration through personal heart ache and overwhelming life challenges. Throughout the book, Brian has penned in detail his personal faith journey as a consistent trust in and reliance on God. His losses around every turn, his deep pain he experienced through these losses and the separation from people he loved never caused him to turn his back on Jesus. This was a book I could not put down. At times I cried as I read his accounts of tremendous pain and suffering both with his daughter and his professional career. I also laughed at his accounts of parenting a young daughter and trying to balance life as a single father. His desire to be in God’s will throughout his faith journey detailed in this book is a true witness to others. His heart for people is evident as he details his journey back to KoRn. Brian is brutally honest in this book and doesn’t apologize for it. He opens his life and his heart to the reader because he wants us to see the foundation and anchor of his life’s journey which is Jesus and God’s restoration process. His ability to engage the reader throughout the book is incredible. There is nothing boring about this book. Every page and every chapter is filled with every emotion possible. I am truly changed because of his book and recommend it to everyone.
Jlm1977 More than 1 year ago
This is an amazing book. Brian Welch doesn't shy away from even the most painful subjects. He is brutally honest about triumphs and failures as a single dad and, more importantly, his journey of faith. I laughed, cried, and everything in between. While reading, I felt more like I was listening to my best buddy instead of looking at words on a page. A wonderful testimony that everyone should read.
Nicolelynn_03 More than 1 year ago
This book is amazing!! I love how Brian shows you that he isn't perfect and still tries to put his faith first! God does amazing things for people! I love the fact that he shows you God does forgive people! You just need to ask! I was addicted to drugs and hit rock bottom and I picked myself up. It wasn't years later I found God! I can relate to Brian in many different ways! But this book tells all! Even if you have never touched a drug this book will touch you! I had to hold back the tears a couple of times because Brian just touch my heart. You will love this book! I couldn't put it down!!
Tough_Crowd_of_One More than 1 year ago
Those whose lives were seriously affected by Save Me from Myself have been anxiously waiting for this book. In With My Eyes Wide Open we follow Brian “Head” Welch as he is going through a very difficult time. Things get bad, and then much worse, and round off into terrible. Head asks God to show him how to use these circumstances to do what he was created to do. This book fills a lot of gaps between the end of SMfM and now, and describes a devastating event in the first few pages. Something that shakes Head to his core and places him (and his faith) at a crossroad. It is at this crossroad where we hear him say volumes by not saying anything at all. Head does not shake his fist in the air and ask “Where is God?”, nor does he have a crisis of faith questioning the love and freedom detailed in SMfM. His faith endures even as his daughter suffers. Shocking to some – including Head – he returns to KoRn. Returns not as a failure but as an unshakable and powerful Christ-follower, equipped to have meaningful conversations with thousands of people who are avoided and looked down upon by the religious elite. Consider I Corinthians 1:27-29, where we are told those who are seen as “lowly” and even “despised” will be used by God to bring shame to those who claim superior wisdom and perfection. Then consider how many inked-up metal-heads will be in the next life. Some of them may even live right next door. There goes the eternal neighborhood, ha-ha!
Boyles More than 1 year ago
WMEWO takes us on a journey about a man who REALLY struggles with his life and his faith. Brian shares his life with us about what was really going on while he was away from Korn.-his hardships,failures, but never does he doubt God. This is a book thats teaches you how to trust God in times of hardships and see God shine His light in you. The book reads like a puzzle with his daughter. All the pieces connect together as you read through it
dalietta More than 1 year ago
"With My Eyes Wide Open: Miracles And Mistakes On My Way Back To Korn " by Korn‘s lead guitarist Brian “Head” Welch (the third act of what we can define a trilogy) pictures a great long journey in the personal and public life of Brian:a rock star that has chosen to dedicate his life to values that normally are not associated to the Rock Star System. From there to here or, better said, from KoRn to KoRn. „With My Eyes Wide Open“ is about the eigth years that Brian was away from KoRn and how the circle closed when he connected with KoRn again. You will read how Brian dedicates himself to his role of single parent , with a devoted heart . The relationship father-daughter is brilliantly pictured with joyful, funny moments as well as with sorrows and big worries, and with all reactions of the society around. But Brian is not only a lovely father, he is an artist who begins a new musical career, never giving up his passion for the seven notes. The father and the musician are two figures in the author`s soul that he tries to unify, never loosing his Faith in Christ. The book captures the reader`s attention from the first to the last page. Lots of crazy stuff, challenges, hope and disappointment, pain and joy,ups and downs await the reader who will have a glimpse into what the music business is and of what the life of a rock star can be. A must-read for every metalhead,for every rocker...and for every parent . It is a kind of antidote to egoism, to depression, to materialism.
Jonas_Navarro More than 1 year ago
A great book and an amazing story. Very valuable for anyone to read it. He tells his the story about all those years after he left Korn and found Jesus, all the struggles in his life during that time financially, and emotionally, and the problems his daughter Jennea went through at the same time like anger and depression, and how he finally came back to Korn. A story about how his faith for Jesus helped him and his daughter to get through the dark times in their lives and overcome all those problems and start over. Very touching but at the same time he tells it with a lot of humor. I would recommend this book to anyone who has been struggling with life, whether you are a Korn fan or not I think it will help you in your life, and it will make your faith stronger.
AshleyMJohnson84 More than 1 year ago
I honestly don't say too many books have touched my life in a major way but what Brian "Head" Welch did in this book....wow. He beautifully tells the story of how he nearly lost everything on his way back to the band KoRn and the struggles he and his daughter Jennea went through. He tells it in such a way, it's almost as if he's telling me face to face. I felt so many emotions reading this book....I couldn't put it down. I had to know what was going to happen. His story is proof that faith and love for God can restore anything. His love for God is amazing and the fact that he goes out and shares it while being back with KoRn is inspiring. Goes to show us that God can use us anywhere to do his will. I recommend this book to anyone who thinks hope may be lost or if you just need a good book to read.
JeFf76Sallee86Funkhouser More than 1 year ago
Brian 'Head' Welch shares his journey back to KoRn and his struggle with his brave teenage daughter, Jennea. Brian and Jennea reflect on their father daughter relationship and the struggles they faced as Brian made the best desicions he could. Brian tells about the mistakes he made and bad desicions that didn't seem to go away. Rockstar life isn't what it seems and shares what financial troubles he went through. Through all the bad finances and starting a new solo career, Jennea struggles with herself and doesn't know how to communicate with her father. Through faith and prayer GOD reveals to Brian and Jennea the path they need to go in order to restore their relationship. It wasn't easy in fact it was hard, but their story can help relate to those who has similar struggles and hopefully inspire and restore others and their faith in GOD. I recommend this book to those who are in a dark place and need a little light to remind them that GOD is always there whenever they feel alone.
sadobson1975 More than 1 year ago
This is an amazing book!! I would say this is the rawest of any of Brian's books. It is absolutely and at times painfully from the heart. It goes deep into how amazing the love of God can bring someone back from the brink many times over and how we can all struggle with our faith. Brian does not shy away from the facts that when he left KoRn for all of the righteous reasons still found a way to make mistake after mistake as he continued to put is faith in to the wrong people and things in his life. He goes on to admit that after battling his chemical addictions that he was/is still an addict and how it affected the way he made choices in his life. Brian "head" Welch is by no means a perfect person, but will tell you how the perfect love of Jesus Christ can transform your heart and your life if you let him!! God bless Brian and anyone with the courage to embrace this book as it is a must read!!
Anonymous 27 days ago
I like(liked) Korn music and got Head's first book some years ago. Although I myself am an athiest, I'm glad Brian has what he feels is a better life now. I just feel this book was a lil to preachy.....
HelenM0 More than 1 year ago
With My Eyes Wide Open, written by Brian “Head” Welch is his story of leaving the band “Korn” to devote his life to raising his daughter Jennea. In 2005 he turned his life over to Christ, left Korn, and started to be the best dad he could to his daughter. He moved them to Phoenix, Arizona and tried to make a career going solo. He connected with Edgar, providing lots of money for business adventures, and recording his music. One thing he did not do, was keep an eye on how Edgar spent his money and he eventually ended up in financial and legal issues due to how Edgar did business. The story takes from the time Brian left Korn and his daughter was a little girl, up to his return to Korn and his daughter being a teenager in trouble. This is a very good book. It is encouraging to see how a person can be in a major band, extremely wealthy and addicted to Meth turn away from that life, accept Jesus, focus his attention to raising his daughter and find himself struggling to have money for food. I read to learn a little bit about the band and music my children listened to. I am so glad I read this book. The struggles Brain went through after leaving Korn were overwhelming to read. I appreciate that he stressed that he would turn to pray to help him through the hard times. I think this book would be a great book for any aspiring musician to read, to read what goes into trying to make a success in the music world. I also think this would be a great book to read for parents who are struggling with their teens, especially those who have children that harm themselves. I received a copy of this book from BookLook Blogger.
PaperBlossoms More than 1 year ago
I am personally not interested in or even familiar with the music of Korn, but was interested in reading a personal testimony and so I chose this book by Brian Welch, With My Eyes Wide Open. It's a good personal story of what Brian has gone through in parts of his life and how he has chosen to follow Jesus through it all. I appreciated the honesty and the telling of it as here is what my story is and how I've grown through it. As far as writing quality or style it is not up my alley. It reads in a much too stream of conscience way for me and I found myself skimming past large sections because I almost felt as if it was more like a journal entry in which the benefit was more for the person who wrote it to work out things by writing. I do appreciate the openness in faith and it's always encouraging to see how God can and does truly use anyone for His work. I would only give this 3 stars. **I was given this book in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. All opinions are mine.**
Pooke More than 1 year ago
Prayers, Jesus & Rock and Roll What does a meth addicted, well-known rock band member, and Jesus have in common? Quite a bit, as will be discovered in this true story of Brian Welch, also known by the stage name, Head. He was a heavy drug user, often staying high for a week or longer. Brian was one of the co-founders of the metal rock band, KoRn, along with one of the guitarists in that group. KoRn made him millions of dollars, but it didn't bring happiness. Instead he, along with his wife, spent most of their time using meth, along with other drugs, hoping their next high would bring them the nirvana they were seeking. After his wife left them, Brian became a single parent to their young daughter, Jennea. With those new responsibilities, and wanting to be a good dad, Brian brought her on the road with him along with KoRn. But try as he might, he wasn't able to break free from his destructive lifestyle. And then one day he became radically saved by Jesus, and was instantly able to walk away from all the drugs. Despite a contract that was soon to pay the band millions of dollars, Brian also walked away from KoRn, giving it all up. He wanted to devote himself to the care and raising of Jennea, and the worship of God. This book is the story of what happened to Brian and Jennea since then. The relationship between Brian and Jennea really thrived, and Brian's relationship with God deepened. Traveling for mission work took the place of being on the road with KoRn. He also started various music endeavors on his own, eventually forming the band, Love and Death. But there were hard times, too, that included being lied to by a trusted friend. That led to such a loss of Brian's money, that he and Jennea were forced to search their furniture for lost coins hoping to find enough to buy food. They lost their home, and bankruptcy loomed ahead of them. Slowly, his finances straightened out, and then God surprised Brian by leading him to a reconciliation with his KoRn band members. Could Brian return to life on the road with KoRn, avoid drugs, and be a light for Jesus at the same time? Amazingly, all those things, and more, have taken place. Brian will be the first to say it is happening because he is where God wants him to be. But just as that part of Brian's life starting improving, his relationship with Jennea disintegrated. Their communication consisted of only heated arguments, and Jennea began to hurt herself, too. That crisis caused Brian to make the hardest decision of his life, get help for Jennea--but possibly at the cost of their relationship. I am not a fan of heavy rock music, but Brian's story will grab your attention whether you are a fan of his type of music or not. It is easy to identify with his pain as a parent when Jennea pulled away from him, and started making bad choices. Brian's financial situation, a result of betrayal by a friend, along with his own unwise decisions, is also something that many will relate to. Through it all, though, Brian never turned away from God. His faith is strong, genuine and uplifting to read about. Pick up this 5-star book, and discover the story of a dad who loves both God, and his daughter, with endearing passion. Thomas Nelson Publishing has provided bookreadingtic with a complimentary copy of With My Eyes Wide Open for the purpose of review. I have not been compensated in any other manner. All opinions expressed are my own, and I was not required, or
Brittany--Ann More than 1 year ago
The book is about Brain “Head” Welch’s decision to leave KoRn, get clean and raise his daughter. Along the way, he became a Christian, made some music, wrote books, and went through some hard times. Unfortunately, Brian made some horrible decisions and ended up hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. He really got swindled by someone he thought was a friend. Instead, the guy was using him for his money and got him in all kinds of legal trouble. It got so bad that he eventually had to file for bankruptcy. I could tell how much he loves his daughter, Jennea, but he didn’t always make the best decisions for her. When he was touring he decided it would better if she was enrolled in an online school. She felt alone a lot, got addicted to getting attention on the internet and started cutting herself. As a former cutter, I know how hard that can be to deal with and I can’t imagine how helpless he felt. He was able to get her help, in the form of a group home for teens, and there is a letter from her at the end of the book. I thought that was nice since the reader hears (reads) a lot about her. I was happy for Brian once things started getting better for him and I love that he’s back with KoRn now. I was surprised that he said he’d forgotten how to play their bigger songs like “Falling Away From Me.” I figured that after playing them thousands of times he’d just go right back to it, even if it had been eight years. He talks about how the other band members were either sober or getting sober and how nice it is that Fieldy, their bass player, is also Christian. The books mentions religion quite a bit, especially at the end. It didn’t really bother me that much until the end where it seemed overly preachy. If you’re Christian or religious, that might not bother you. Brian also mentions that him and Fieldy pray with fans after their shows and at music festivals. I guess that’s cool of them, but I wouldn’t want to do that if I were at a metal concert.
ShannaM More than 1 year ago
Brian is more gifted than he will probably ever fully realize until he meets our Maker in eternal life. He bares his own sufferings and triumphs, sharing a story that, undoubtedly, will help others through their own journeys. His is a story of strength, weakness, miracles, unconditional fatherly love and learning how to truly live by faith. His dedication to faith in God/Love without the rules of religion is awe-inspiring and mind opening. He reminds us of the importance to understand that we can’t go it alone and sometimes we need to seek His help through our Earthly angels and daily prayers. He reminds us that being a Christian is not about perfection, but about realizing that we are imperfect and should grow and better ourselves from each experience. He also shows us that having faith is not just about talking to Him, but taking the time to listen and hear what he is telling us. We often forget the listening part. Brian’s books have inspired me to personally dig deeper into my faith and my purpose in this Earthly realm. I hope that one day I can inspire people the way he does and the way I believe his daughter is destined to inspire others as well. Blessed be Brian & Jennea. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Honestly, I feel like I just had a conversation with him and he told his story. That's how raw and real this book is! Brian and his daughter have been through some seriously tough stuff but God prevails in the end! This is a must read for anyone! Especially if you're going through a rough time. Go buy this book! I promise it will bless you!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
With My Eyes Wide Open by Brian Welch is a book that will be enjoyed by all kinds of people. The way Brian writes about his life journey really makes you feel as though you are having a conversation with a friend. There is no judgment in these pages. This book is just as, if not more, honest than Save Me from Myself and Stronger. There is a roller coaster of emotion; ranging from laughter to rage, and everything in between. It is truly touching to read in detail what this man has endured, whether it is from his fans, his co-workers, his own family and friends, Brian shares it all with us and I admire how his faith always came through fighting for the win. I encourage any and all people – believer or not – to give this book a chance. Open your eyes to a real man who walks with God and everything that he overcomes alongside Him. This book will inspire you to give your all to the things and people in life that matter, and to take what doesn’t with a grain of salt.
Nicholle36 More than 1 year ago
This book is so inspiring not just for Christians but for anyone who has ever gone thru anything hard in their whole lives, so, everybody! I am a Christian and though I was never a fan of KoRn, I found Brian by accident in my local library by picking up his first book and reading it and being so inspired. This man has had an amazing struggle but has overcome so much in his life. This book is about his difficulty getting his solo career going and being a single dad at the same time. Making some bad decisions along the way, as do most people, still having faith in God even in the worst of times when most people would have given up. He also struggles with his daughter which most parents have problems with their kids but they really hit some highs and lows . This book had me in tears at times, I felt like I was right there with him. It was a very easy read, it was like having a conversation with him. It's kind of like listening to a friend tell you a story about their life. Sometimes I couldn't read the words through my tears because I was either moved by something or feeling sad with him. This book was amazing! Bravo Brian!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Many have heard the story about how Brian "Head" Welch became a Christian and left the band Korn (If you have not I recommend you read Save Me From Myself by Brian), only to rejoin the band a few years later. This was very confusing to a lot of Christians. Had he lost his faith? Given up on God? Absolutely not. This book answers the how and whys of his decision. It chronicles Brian's personal journey and struggles he encountered after becoming a Christian. The heartaches of dealing with a daughter in depression, anger issues and financial woes are just a few topics he deals with. Brian is willing to open up and candidly share his story. When things seem bleak, Brian looks to God for healing and strength. An easy read that made me laugh, cry and evaluate my own walk with God.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
With My Eyes Wide Open - WMEWO for short, launching May 17 - continues the rollercoaster journey Head and his daughter Jennea took to figure out what God has in store for them next. WMEWO picks up where Head's first book Save Me From Myself ended. Head takes you through his mental, physical, and spiritual turmoil of bad business deals while trying to start his solo career in Arizona. Jennea, miraculously, seems to take it all in stride with her childlike faith...until she becomes a teenager. After promising himself he would never go back to his band, KoRn, why does he feel led to do exactly that, and how will Jennea feel about the idea? Brian "Head" Welch tells it like it is. He doesn't hold back, pouring his heart out by sharing everything from his own thoughts and frustrations to the Scriptures and prayers that help him through each day. Whether you believe in God or not, if you want some encouragement or just a great book to read, don't pass this up!
KoRn_Fan_Jason_Sallows More than 1 year ago
I'm not a very religious person, but I loved this book. I have been a KoRn fan for 22 years. I had posters and pictures all over my wall throughout high school. So, when Head left Korn I was devastated. Why Head, WHY?! "With My Eyes Wide Open" is the answer to that. It is a story of his trials and tribulation after he left a band that was on top of the world. It's so easy to say "what do they have to complain about?". It's hard to picture someone, that has more money than most of us will see in a lifetime, as a person with real problems. In this book, he opens up about being taken advantage of by shady business deals. From having millions of dollars and fancy cars, to hunting for change in the couch. All this while trying to raise a daughter with her own problems (and rats). Through the whole ordeal, the one constant was his faith. Brian's book does for faith and love, what Steven King does for horror. It makes you FEEL it. I have never before read a book that made tears well up in my eyes. The way Brian describes his struggles makes you feel like you are sitting in a room with him one-on-one. He doesn't write as an author so much as he writes like a talker. The book was a very quick read. I had it finished in 2 days. It will be a book that I will read again. This is the first of his books that I have read and it has sparked my interest to read the others. It had plenty of messages of faith and God, but I didn't feel overwhelmed like he was knocking at my door and trying to sell me God. I have faith, not much, but it's there. With Brian's music and his writing, he helps me to maintain the little I have left. That, in and of itself, is not an easy accomplishment. But Brian pulls it off. Would I recommend this book to others? Absolutely! It has, humor, suffering, faith, a positive message, and KoRn! What is not to like? I feel that this story has made me a better person and it will continue to work wonders for anyone who reads it. It was,by far, worth the time spent reading it.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a very inspiring story of a man's journey through some of life's faith shaking hardballs, coming straight from the author's heart. Despite going through trying ordeal after trying ordeal, Brian "Head" Welch's faith in God has never once faltered. This book will definitely open up your mind and warm your heart. A must read for everyone everywhere. If you're ever going through hardships of your own and your faith needs refreshing, I absolutely recommend this book.