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Woman Desired, Woman Desiring

Woman Desired, Woman Desiring

by Daniele Flaumenbaum


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A majority of women often suffer, without knowing it, in not having the sexual life that they wish: to be comfortable with the sensations, to be able to adjust them to those of their partner, thus benefiting from the restoring virtues of the sharing of love. At the crossroads of gynaecology, Chinese medicine, psychoanalysis and the trans-generational approach, Dr. Flaumenbaum, a gynaecologist and acupuncturist, draws on more than thirty years of experience to explain how women today build their sexuality, the place the mother holds there, why pleasure or even desire is so seldom present, and how to remedy it. A book that should reinvigorate men and energise women.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781912807642
Publisher: AEON Books
Publication date: 12/10/2020
Pages: 160
Product dimensions: 5.00(w) x 7.75(h) x 0.00(d)

About the Author

Daniele Flaumenbaum has been a gynaecologist of the Faculty of Medicine of Paris since 1972 with a special interest in family planning and the emancipation of women. Twelve years into her practice, Daniele studied Chinese medicine and Taoist sexual alchemy and became an accupuncturist gynaecologist. At the same time, she discovered trans-generational psychoanalysis which highlights the notion of ancestral heritage. These new tools transformed her life as a woman and her practice. She has been the president of the Jardin d'Idees Association since 2010.

Table of Contents

Introduction ix

Chapter 1 We love men like we love our mothers 1

The first object of love 2

Loving like a child 2

The woman and the mother in us 4

Why do we regress when we love? 6

Maternal love is not sexual 6

Chapter 2 The dynamic of sexual anatomy 9

The circulation of sexual energy 9

The role of the uterus in sexual pleasure 13

The clitoris, the hymen and the vagina 14

The uterus, the fallopian tubes and the ovaries 17

Hormonal control 19

The lesser pelvis, the hips and the perineum 20

Breasts and breastfeeding 23

Changes and transformations in a woman's body 23

Setting sexual energy in motion 25

Chapter 3 The barrier of fire: recurrent disorders 29

Acute ailments, recurrent ailments 29

Looking for the origin 31

Fire in the genitals: blocked sexuality 33

Chinese medicine 36

Disrupting the repetition 37

Making love 38

Teaching our genitals about pleasure 40

The life force that inhabits us 42

Chapter 4 How little girls construct their sexuality and how daughters come undone when their mothers die 45

Expecting a little girl 45

At birth, the child becomes the magnetic catalyst 47

The power of names and surnames 48

Breast-feeding 50

Building the baby girl's sexuality 52

The dyad stage 55

Wanting to know the true story 57

Finding self-recognition 59

The father's role and the difference between sexes 60

Telling a little girl that later her genitals will welcome a man's 64

Parental intimacy 65

"But where was I before?" 67

The bottomless pit: falling into depression 69

Quest for meaning and renewal 72

Chapter 5 The gynaecological family tree 75

Painful menstruation 75

"Phantom" disorders 81

Premenstrual syndrome 82

Gynaecological ailments and their origins 83

Symptoms generated by family line disorders 85

Sterility and infertility 86

Unwanted pregnancies 86

The importance of knowing one's genealogy 87

The effects of building a genosociogram 89

Care 92

Chapter 6 Desire 95

Inherited social and cultural burdens 96

First change: women think (1945) 97

Second change: birth control (1965) 97

Third change: sexual liberation? 98

Parental fulfilment 100

Continued ignorance about sexuality 100

Desire: the energy that makes the encounter possible 101

When desire is inhibited 102

The body is not invaginated 105

How to break the cycle of transgenerational repetition 106

The starting point of a man's sexual desire is the genitals, while a woman's is in her heart, between her two breasts 109

Woman and their desire: floating heads 111

So, what is desire? 112

Chapter 7 What is making love? 113

Courtship displays 114

Creating a shared space: foreplay and the encounter between the genitals 114

Fondling the breasts 117

Fixation on the clitoris 118

Desired, but also desiring 119

Benefitting from what we do not have 121

The co-penetration of the genitals 122

Creating the phallus 123

Feeling the uterus and maintaining the fire 123

Being fully present to oneself and to the other at the same time 125

Finding words again 125

Pathways of sexual energy 126

Completeness and surpassing oneself 127

Projecting oneself into the other's body 127

Jouissance: sexual joy 128

What is an orgasm? 129

Coming down after making love 132

Acknowledgement 133

Index 135

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