Woman to Woman

Woman to Woman

by Chinaz Love


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781456715397
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Publication date: 03/31/2011
Pages: 112
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.27(d)

First Chapter

Woman to Woman

By Chinaz Love


Copyright © 2011 Chinaz Love
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4567-1539-7

Chapter One

Woman to Woman

Woman to Woman is a heartfelt and thought-provoking compilation of the author's deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences throughout her journey in life. The author has poured out her heart and soul. She begins with dealing with her perception of a man, a woman, and the influence of God with in the very core and essence of who she is. She intellectually conceptualizes her perspective of each of these components in her poetic expressions of "A Black Man, Research of the Woman, and Can You See the God in Me." In "Monologue of a Hurting Woman," the author talks about how often times, vulnerable women are deceived into a relationship that they are led to believe is real and fulfilling but it catapults into a web of deception fueled by the selfish and insensitive desires of some men. The positive results of embracing your past hurts, reconnecting with your dreams, and focusing your attention towards the future and power of God, are described in the "Newness of Life, A Smile from Inside Out, You Lack the Tools, and Neglecting My Desires to Fulfill My Dreams." These are a few of the author's recounts of her life-changing experiences in relationships found throughout this book. Through this work, the author allows the audience to become intimately connected with her cognitive and emotional encounters as she attempts to find a balance and comfort with who she is and who she will become. It appears as if the author wants her readers to know that in spite of the negative results from relationship experiences and with the help of God, women have the ability to reclaim their lives and become powerful, positive leaders who are capable of providing love, being loved, and connecting with a strong and loving man of God.

It is my belief that each of us can embark upon a life full of peace and prosperity, if we discontinue our individual need to be the sole captains of our destiny. We should trust God and heed to the Word of God found in the 17th chapter of Acts and the 28th verse, which states: "For in Him we live and move and have our being." May God bless you in your personal journey of healing and maturing into that strong, confident woman of God of which He purposed you to be.

Minister Lisa Workman Crenshaw, Ph.D.


When you are consciously aware and thankful, you might give thanks to the black woman, as she is the creator of life. However, when you are consciously aware and spiritually awakened, there is an acknowledgement of a power higher than man or woman.

It is explained so simply when stated, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." It is to that God I am thankful for today. Equipped with faith and the knowledge that there is power to speak life and death in my tongue, I will stumble through the simplest thoughts of my mind to form words not nearly as powerful as His to express my gratitude.

I am thankful for an opportunity to meet people who can express thoughts that make me contemplate, "what next?"

I am thankful to know people who can plant the seeds, nourish the soil, pluck the weeds, provide the sun, embrace the rain, patiently wait for the harvest and invest in the process again.

I am thankful to have known people who pray for strength and wisdom, not money and fame.

I am thankful to have known people who possess wonderful qualities and beautiful talents, but can speak about their weaknesses without ridicule or shame.

I am thankful to have shared intimate moments, sadness and laughter in the smallest amounts of time, with few words spoken.

Simply put, I am thankful for the lives God has given, and the opportunity to intermingle with His gifts! Thank You.

I thank God first for His favor, grace, and mercy! I am thankful that God is so awesome. He cares enough about me that He would whisper in my ear the answers to all my questions. I appreciate that when I am so busy that I cannot hear His voice, He would take the time to visit me in my dreams. It is so true that no man can love you like God can! His faithfulness cannot be comprehended or developed into words.

Next, I thank my son. My son watched and lived through my journey. He never laughed (out loud) when he caught me staring in the mirror at myself. He never questioned me when he observed me writing in the middle of the night. He timed me patiently and repeatedly when preparing for my first poetry competition. While he had many objections to every date I went on, he has never complained about my workout schedule, whether it was jumping in the living room at five o'clock in the morning, or staying at the gym until seven. I also thank him for saying, "Mom, I did not realize you were fat until I looked at your pictures!" Even though the comment was rude, it demonstrates all he saw was love. Thank You, Son.

To my beautiful daughter, who supports me the way only she can! Thank you daughter for believing that I can do anything. To my sisters, who always have my back in everything I do! To my brothers, whose only question is what took you so long? To my father, who encouraged me to do something with my work beyond collect it in a scrap book. Thank you, Daddy. To all of my family, especially the cousins and Aunt Kay! Thank you for supporting me even when you thought I would embarrass you to death!

Thank you to my home girls who prayed me through, listened to my poetry, helped talk out my feelings, gave great advice, threw the best girls night out ever, and never judged me when I did what I wanted to do anyway! Y'all know who y'all are but I'll name a few. To the Attorney At Law, Hotlotta, Mother of Wisdom Oh So Fly, Dr. Crenshaw, The Professor of life, Professor McDay, Reverend Pitchford, Sexy Lexy, Little Sister Niecy, Tanya, the inventor of the phrase, "Stronger, Better, Badder, Shit!" My BFF since the eighth grade, who I'll will refer to as Ms. Keep It Oh So Real! My Cousin the # 1 home girl! Ms. Faye and all those who supported my effort! I love you all!

Special Thanks to

T-N-T Boot Camp-owners and operators
Thomas and Tiffany Smith
Rasheed Muhammad
The "Still I Rise" book club members
Platinum Photography
A Touch of Faith
Henry Garden
Carmen Nantwi
Carlotta Beasley

A Black Man

I love a black man as he represents life.
A hardworking black man sustains life.
A positive black man makes life bearable.
A sexy black man makes life enjoyable.
A wise black man imports nutrients to life.
A strong black man adds comfort to life.
A God fearing black man brings love and respect for life.
A black man with a vision brings purpose to life.
A focused black man places life in position.
A black man with all of these qualities
completes life's mission!
What is that you ask? What about the black woman?
Well, she is life!

Research of the Woman

The woman, simply defined as, "The female of the human race."

Reading those words I envisioned the image of a lady with her legs straddled on a table.

Her face twisted in anguish and pain.

She grabs her legs and with great strain,


I can hear her screams and moans in the process of childbirth.

She exhales and with that last push, a baby girl is birthed.

A child emerges into this place called life, but some refer to as hell.

By definition, who is the woman?

The lady on the table or the baby she holds?

As she smiles and looks into her daughter's face, they both are members of the female race.

It doesn't make sense to me, so I ponder the definition, praying for the mystery to unfold, forcing my mind to reveal the things that I have been told.

My Grandmother talked about a strong black woman. Could race play into the characteristics of a woman?

Because I was born with brown skin, full hips, thick thighs and juicy lips, does my nappy hair and African heritage make me a woman?

Does my counterparts' swinging hair, pink skin and that privileged life that only whites partake in exclude her in being defined as a woman?

Another definition states, "Collective qualities or feminine." If womanhood rests in femininity, then does how well I wear my miniskirt, the way I wink or those subtle gestures we refer to as the ability to flirt, make me a woman?

If that is the case, then what about that black woman they tried to dismiss from the Olympic Race?

They tried to say she was too masculine!

That no way could a woman run like that to take the gold!

We all waited on the DNA results for the mystery to unfold.

But she was declared a woman!

Is that because she suffered humiliation and disgrace for all the world to see?

Would that mean that womanhood had nothing to do with femininity?

Would humiliation plus degrading acts equal a woman?

Is that the formula that the world seeks?

So, if I was raped at the age of three, and lived a life of promiscuity, because my virginity had been taken when I could not understand that it was a special gift to give and every man that I met took my body like it was his, would that pain make me a woman?

Further research reveals a woman as, "An adult or grown up female."

So the years I spend on earth, no matter how productive or worthless they are, qualify me for my star on the Hollywood block of life, defining me as a woman?

Examples are thrown out everyday, but a vagina plus the equal sign does not qualify you as woman in this world today.

I'm sorry if you're offended by the words that I say.

Or, if this is not the right format to have this discussion.

But this is a place where we have gathered to celebrate womanhood and I just wanted to make sure that I understood what we define as a woman.

If I clean my house and shop real smart and do not allow my children to take part in the sinful nature of this world, but I lack a spouse and receive government assistance, would declaring,

"I AM A WOMAN," be met with resistance?

You hear the success stories everyday:

Women who were blessed with fortune and fame, but lived past experiences that made them feel ashamed.

Rising from their muck and mire, they reveal how they now live lives others desire.

Their stories all vary in how they arrived.

Many talk about water baptism and a life filled with prayer, proclaiming proudly how God got them there.

Some say they stumbled and fell and scraped their knees, but prayed to God and he heard their pleas.

Others believed they pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps, dodging the plans of the enemy and all of his traps, striving for education, and allowing no one to hold them back.

But I can't take pieces and parts of this and that and force them to make a whole.

The entire story has to make sense for me to be sold.

So would that mean, a vagina, plus a heritage, that being black or white privileged, multiplied by life experience, divided by God who subtracts the scars of pain, adding in education to increase the joy life brings, equals a woman? No! No! No! I now understand.

God uses the simple things to confuse man.

So whether I'm married or never had a man, my race doesn't count and if I am fertile or barren isn't equated in the amount.

The pain I endure is a responsibility we all bear.

The woman, simply defined as, SHE PUSHES!

While on my journey in life, an idea was birthed. Like many ideas, the development took place over food and wine with my girlfriends. We discovered that we could enjoy the company of food and wine cheaper if we all pitched in with bottles of wine and the host supplied the food. This developed into our "Girls Night Out." Combined with various backgrounds and levels of education, we came together to add to our common theme of being women. From this I learned, no matter the age, income bracket, or education level, we are all still striving to be successful at being what we were created to be: women. It was obvious from this group of entertaining, charming, beautiful, and intelligent women, that we all varied in degrees and angles of what we understood a woman to be; hence, the birth of this book.

It saddens me that so many women do not understand who we are. Women attempt to fit into cookie-cutter descriptions of what we may think a woman represents. However, not being able to identify what a real woman looks like does not stop us from criticizing each other while attempting to become the women we are destined to be. As young as preschoolers, we can be observed forming cliques to ostracize each of those who are different. We spend most of our lives accumulating information from cultures, traditions, religion, and environmental injustices, attempting to develop the mental picture of the acceptable woman. I just want to declare, no matter the accomplishment or failure, race or religion, we are all real women! Women, when you see your sister rising to the top, struggling in the fight, or on the floor completely knocked out for the count, please recognize, she is still a woman! Embrace her and tell her so! To define what a woman is to me would be hypocritical, so instead I will attempt to give some building blocks (in poetic format) that I have learned along the way. Some of the blocks may support your weight, others may be used as a tool to knock down the walls holding you back. My hope is that you will discover a few blocks that will assist you in building the stairs that will elevate your status in your journey to the top.

Because I spent most of my adult life married, I grew up learning how to exist as a woman in a relationship. My life, now my testimony, is based just on that, surviving a relationship. It appears to me that so many of us live our lives hoping to arrive at a place where we have obtained a healthy relationship and can enjoy the fruit of our labor at leisure. Some actively pursue "the relationship" as if it were the key to life. Others add their relationships to their many accomplishments like an accessory to match a dress. But many fail miserably time and time again, wearing their battle scars in various stages of healing like a medal of honor that covers their souls like a strange plague. Oddly enough, a healthy relationship has all of those patterns intertwined.

    Can You See the God In Me?

    When I met you I wanted you to know that I was a
    descendant of the King.
    Directly from the Asher Tribe is where I was conceived.
    Promised to be rich in olive oil and sweet delicacies, but
    somewhere my intentions got lost, and I wonder if you saw
    the God in me?

    I was created to be virtuous, designed to be a wife of a
    But when admiring my thighs that were purposely
    displayed, when glancing at my hips that methodically
    sashayed, were you able to detect that I am a Queen?

    Was the glory of God relayed in my well-told story?
    Did His mission evaporate in the cleavage of my breast?
    Was the assignment revealed when I lay down beside you,
    pretending to rest?
    When I allowed you to kiss and caress my brown skin, were
    you able to see the God within?

    Like the salt of the earth I wanted to bring flavor to your
    life, allow you to know that I would be worthy for a wife.
    But somehow my desires overtook my flesh and the Glory
    of God became hidden.
    Now it was fleshy desires by which I was driven.

    The mission to win your soul was overtaken by the desire to
    win your heart.
    It would not be long till our bodies became one, without
    the ceremony part.
    And now the question is, have I aborted my mission?
    Did I lose your soul and blind your vision?

    Have you been tricked and deceived by Jezebel?
    Have I been your Delilah that turned Samson's life to hell?
    Is it possible for you to understand that our destiny was
    purposed and designed for you to see the God in Me?

I profess the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as my God. In him I live and breathe and have my being. My desire is to mature the GOD in me until my reflection mirrors the characteristics of His life. It is my personal belief that the more like God I become, my struggle with relationships will diminish to a nonexistent state. I believe the key to success is the display of love. For if I love people like God loves, how can I continually fail? I believe, if I respond to all situations and circumstances with love, I could possibly change the world! However, I have not yet arrived. So many times Love is displayed and not recognized. Love is suggested, but pride overrides! Love shows up but is never let into the party. There are times when Love appears to be a homeless stranger in a filthy alley and I simply cross the street, avoiding Love, afraid that I may be overwhelmed with the sweetness of the stench of Love! However, I am determined to get this right because I believe with all my being that God answers Love!


Excerpted from Woman to Woman by Chinaz Love Copyright © 2011 by Chinaz Love. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents


Woman to Woman....................1
A Black Man....................9
Research of the Woman....................10
Can You See the God In Me?....................16
Monologue of a Hurting Woman....................22
The Newness of Life....................27
A Smile from the Inside Out....................31
You Lack the Tools....................34
Fulfilling My Desires and Neglecting My Dreams....................40
If It Wasn't For Her....................44
The Learning Curve....................48
The Meeting Place....................52
He Took Me There....................56
He Called....................60
One Heart....................63
Black Beauty....................66
The Spoken Word....................71
Stolen Dreams....................75
Once Upon A Time....................81
A Woman's Worth....................86
Journaling your Journey....................91

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