WTF I'm Trying to Be Spiritual: A Workbook for Loving Yourself without Fear

WTF I'm Trying to Be Spiritual: A Workbook for Loving Yourself without Fear

by Jeanette Bishop, Helen Varga


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About the Book

Precious One

You are the unimaginable gift

A fragment of eternity

The embodiment of universal joy

A reflection of peace

Soul immemorial

Love's reproduction made

manifest here on Earth

- Helen Varga 2014

This workbook is a tool for you to use based on the book WTF I'm Trying to Be Spiritual: A Guidebook for Loving Yourself without Fear and is a stepping stone to greater self-awareness. This workbook is an honest look at our need to create self-love that in turn reflects on our daily lives and our relationship with the world.
Along the way, readers are asked to gently try quieting their minds via meditation by examining meditation techniques through a personal-preference questionnaire.
Other tools, such as the redirection of one's thoughts and the creation of affirmations, are included to get the reader started in a more positive frame of mind along with creating and writing lists for establishing boundaries with others as well as themselves.

In addition, exercises related to the practices of love-Flexibility, Non-Judgment, Willingness, Courage, Relinquishing Control, and Integrity/Honesty/Personal Responsibility-are provided.
Finally, thought-provoking questions touch on mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness (or lack thereof). All this is combined to give a wide range of ideas and thoughts without being limiting.
This workbook is an invitation to value the wonderful person you are.

Jeanette Bishop, retired cardiology physiologist, active healer, and medium with a wealth of experience in humanity and no belief in herself, finally decided to "come out" as a medium and a spiritual explorer with coauthor and her best buddy, Helen Varga.
Bishop's diverse, out-of-the-box spiritual communications rocks everyone's boat, challenges the mediocre, and brings about a truth so simple yet labyrinthine as it expands. This is just the beginning.

Helen Varga is a reflexologist with the Reflexology Association of Canada since 1997, a spiritual healer, and a spiritual activist. She and her best friend, Jeanette Bishop, formed Kiss and Tell Creative Productions to tackle taboo subjects through workshops and books. Seeing and sensing God since a small child, she mentored under Bishop to develop her spiritual awareness.

"WTF I'm Trying to Be Spiritual - A Workbook for Loving Yourself without Fear" is a finalist in the Body/Mind/Spirit category in the 11th Annual National Indie Excellence Awards.


Front Cover: original encaustic collage by Helen Varga (Somewhere There is Peace, 2013)

Back Cover: photograph by Jeanette Bishop

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781504984386
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Publication date: 03/23/2016
Pages: 262
Product dimensions: 8.25(w) x 11.00(h) x 0.55(d)

Read an Excerpt

WTF I'm Trying to Be Spiritual

A Workbook for Loving Yourself without Fear

By Jeanette Bishop, Helen Varga


Copyright © 2016 Jeanette Bishop and Helen Varga
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5049-8438-6



What's self-awareness? It's a term often used in many circles, but what does it really mean? The word self is easy to understand, but for some, it has no meaning other than giving their selves to those who may control them. So then, what does self mean?

• personality

• nature

• character

• person

• identity

• experiences

• perceptions

• emotions

• thoughts

Those who have lost their selves will have lost their sense of self. The self can be a slave to those we love or even hate! Where is your self? Can you pinpoint where you are in the structure of your personality, identity, and person?

Awareness is a simple word, but for many, its meaning is objective — defined by others' standards rather than their own. This means they may only mirror others' viewpoints instead of being true to themselves. Just something to ponder.

So what is awareness? Is it subjective or objective? What does it mean to you? Where is it sitting in your consciousness?

• alertness

• wakefulness

• responsiveness

• attentiveness

All these words mean "awareness" yet have different meanings for everyone. Perception is a funny thing — what's blue to one is green to another. That isn't to say the meaning ought to be in the black-and-white range of thinking, but rather in the ambiguous.

This all leads to the question: How can we be aware of Spirit since we are spirit made flesh?

Learning to become aware is part of the contemplation on the spiritual facets. How can you become aware of its beauty if you aren't aware of yours? Spirituality takes many forms depending on your beliefs. It might take the form of angels, Spirit, inspiration, or Divine expression. Whatever form it takes, we need to be somewhat aware of it.

Jen: For me, it was all about being alert all the time as a kid, and I brought that into my adulthood. No wonder I suffered from fatigue and the like.

Hel: Same here.


Who the Hell Am I Anyway?

Our beliefs, values, and ideas are handed down to us by society — parents, teachers, peers, media, and the like. At a young age, we revered our elders as all-powerful and all-knowing. This can often come into flux as we become adults and our inner battles with our true natures and the beings we're expected to become move to the forefront.

So who are you anyway?

Jen: I thought I had to sacrifice my being for everyone in my family until my health became a real issue and I realized I was wrong. That was who I was conditioned to be.

Hel: I always felt others were more talented than me. I wasn't talented in any area but above average in many areas, whereas others excelled in areas others could witness, such as singing.

What do you love about your intelligence?

What do you love about your physical features and body?

What do you love about your creative talents?

What do you love about your emotional nature?

What do you love about your characteristics and traits?

What do you love about your gender (femininity/masculinity), sex (male/female), and sexuality (including sexual orientation)?

What do you dislike about your intelligence? Why?

What do you dislike about your physical features and body? Why?

What do you dislike about your creative talents? Why?

What do you dislike about your emotional nature? Why?

What do you dislike about your characteristics and traits? Why?

What do you dislike about your gender (femininity/masculinity), sex (male/female), and sexuality (including sexual orientation)? Why?


Please answer the following questions honestly. Excuse the questions for being so particular, and go only where you're comfortable. Let each question sit with you, and observe any negativity without holding onto it. The purpose is to understand your self-love and perhaps why it's not in place.

Jen: I didn't have a great childhood, but I knew I couldn't allow it to color my world blue. If I did, I would be more introverted now and unable to see the beauty around me, including my own and my relationship with Spirit.

Hel: I think very few people have had ideal childhoods, and as adults, we have to realize that a person (parent, grandparent, and so forth) may never be the ideal person we want him or her to be (or even can be).

Did you grow up in an environment in which there was positive regard such as hugging, kissing, praise, etc.?

Did adults openly show affection in your household?

Always — Often — Sometimes — Rarely — Never

If a male or female role model was absent from your childhood, how did that affect your self-love and self-worth at the time if at all? Does it impact you today?

During childhood, who had the greatest influence on you in terms of love — grandmother, father, mother, teacher? Why?

What did this person impress upon you the most?


Did religion play a part in your outlook toward love for others and yourself, including your sex, gender, and sexuality?

Jen: Mine did. I was told it was wrong to talk to Spirit, that it didn't exist, and I was lying.

Hel: Definitely. Being raised Catholic, I thought God was this punitive figure who would determine whether I went to hell or heaven. Thank God (excuse the pun) I don't believe in that anymore.

If yes, did your religion teach you about love in a positive regard, a negative regard, or both? If positive, list the beliefs taught such as "Love thy neighbor."

If negative, list the beliefs you were taught, such as the assertion that you were born in sin or that homosexuality is a sin.

Can you recall any religious events, practices, or rituals that affected your self-love and self-worth and left you feeling you never quite made the grade spiritually?

Jen: When I said that my aunt (who was passing over into the afterlife) had come to say goodbye, my grandfather looked horrified. I felt shamed and sad because obviously I was a bad girl for saying such things (I was only five at the time). As it turned out, my grandfather's brother was a medium and a healer. My grandfather never mentioned him. That led me to believe I must be weird and alien, so I hid from it for most of my life.

Hel: Again, I was raised Catholic and had to go to confession. Enough said.

Can you recall any religious rituals, practices, or events that helped you feel a connection to a higher power, others, or anything else?

Jen: My first encounter with a spiritual church was amazing. I could see all these spirits, and the love was intense.

Are there any teachings in religion that give you a sense of peace, hope, and faith?

Creative Interests

The reasoning behind these set of questions is to remind you that you are a creative being – physically and spiritually. You are a creator in your own right – creative, creating.

Do you play a musical instrument?

Jen: Does a comb and paper count? I play piano but gave it up when my ex took a sledgehammer to it so I couldn't have any joy. But I'm taking it up again this year!

Hel: I'm more visual, so my brain can't read and translate notes. My family wonders why since the rest of them are musically inclined. Then we question where all the hang-ups come from.

If not, why haven't you learned or won't learn to play an instrument?

If you could play one instrument, which one? Why?

Do you sing? What style?

If not, why not? Or do you sing only in certain places such as the shower?

If you could sing, what style would it be? Why?

Do you write poems, short stories, plays, anything?

If you don't, have you thought of keeping a journal or writing a love poem about someone special such as a child, husband, father, mother? If not, why?

If you could write anything, what would it be? Why?

Do you paint or draw? What medium and style?

Do you like to doodle? Please elaborate.

If you haven't experimented with drawing or painting, would you like to? If you could, would it be with pencil, watercolor, oil paints, or something else?

Do you create or design clothes, jewelry, or furniture? What style? If not, would you like to?

Do you take any creative classes at a college or university such as pottery, encaustic (wax), photography, woodworking, cooking, acting, or the like?

Is there a creative course you'd love to take? What is it? Why?

Why haven't you participated in the creative course you'd love to take? What steps could you take to make it a reality?

What creative endeavor (singing in front of people, stand-up comedy, etc.) have you always wanted to try but were afraid or unable to for fear of failure and criticism?

If you're afraid to engage in some creative endeavor, would you be willing to overcome that fear? What steps could you take?

What hobbies do you have?

Jen: I love motorcycling and regular cycling.

Hel: Art, especially encaustic (wax).

Do you consider yourself creative? How are you creative, and how does that make you feel? Remember, creativity can take many forms.

List all your creative talents — cooking, gardening, painting, singing, writing, woodworking, acting, photography — you name it.

Did anyone encourage you to pursue your creative interests as a hobby, in a volunteer capacity, or as an occupation?

Did anyone encourage you to pursue your creative interests and talents due to your sex, gender, or sexual orientation?

Did anyone discourage you from pursuing your creative interests as hobbies, in a volunteer capacity, or as an occupation? Why?

Did anyone discourage you from pursuing your creative interests and talents due to your sex, gender, or sexual orientation? Did that hinder or help you pursue your creative interests and talents?

Is your creative interest a real passion? If yes, have you pursued your creative interests as hobbies or vocations? Why or why not?

Are you using your creative talents to your fullest potential in life, or at work, or elsewhere? If yes, give advice to help others. If no, write what could be done to help you do so.

Are you doing what you desire? If yes, what is it? If not, what's preventing you from doing so?

What actions would you need to take to manifest your desires?

Are you afraid or limited in doing what you truly desire? If so, what limits you? What do you fear the most?

Jen: I thought everyone considered me weird and didn't want to get to know me, that my uniqueness was a disability, so I feared to be myself!

Hel: I'm always hiding, mostly in the house, from others. Like many, I fear rejection and failure. It's easier to stay hidden. However, I'm taking baby steps to put myself out there.

Are you willing to try new things? Name at least five to get the creative juices going!

Jen: I want to fly a plane!


What were your experiences in school, and what impact did it have on your self-esteem?

Jen: OMG, don't even go there! Mine were miserable. I was continually bullied.

Hel: I remember my high school homeroom teacher thought I was a devil worshipper because I listened to heavy-metal music. It was all about trying to fit in with various groups since I felt I didn't belong. I'd been bullied in grade school.

Were you encouraged to develop your skills and talents in these areas?

• academics yes/no/kind of/sometimes

• music yes/no/kind of/sometimes

• art yes/no/kind of/sometimes

• drama yes/no/kind of/sometimes

• dance yes/no/kind of/sometimes

• writing/poetry yes/no/kind of/sometimes

• athletics yes/no/kind of/sometimes

If not, why not?

What skills and talents did you want do develop?

• academics yes/no/maybe

• music yes/no/maybe

• art yes/no/maybe

• drama yes/no/maybe

• dance yes/no/maybe

• writing/poetry yes/no/maybe

• athletics yes/no/maybe

Have you broadened and cultivated your skills and talents?

How did that take place if you did? If you didn't, what stopped you from doing so?

Can you remember an incident in school that made you feel proud of yourself academically, personally, or otherwise?

Were you ever discouraged from participating in an activity or class such as soccer, art, music, or something else? If yes, what was the activity or class? Who discouraged you? Why did they do so?

Were you ever encouraged to participate in an extracurricular activity? If yes, which one? Who encouraged you? Why? Were they choices of your own making or someone else's?

Did you take part in activities outside school? If yes, who encouraged you and why? If not, explain why.

Jen: My art teacher encouraged me to go to art school! He was awesome, kind, and very supportive.

Hel: Unfortunately no. I lived in a rural area and didn't have a ride to and from school.

Were these outside activities forced upon you, or were they things you wanted to do?

Was there a teacher who made a "limiting" comment that influenced the way you felt about yourself then and still affects you now? What was said? What were the lasting effects if any?

Can you remember a teacher who made you feel good about yourself by encouraging or praising you? What did this teacher say or do?

Did that teacher have an impact on your life? Detail the lasting impression.

Were you bullied in school? By whom and why? Were you bullied due to your sex, gender, or sexual orientation?

If you were intimidated, how did it affect you? Did it leave an impact (good or bad) on you until today?

Jen: My intimidation continued throughout my childhood and into adulthood. I don't like confrontation, so it made it difficult to say no until I realized I had a voice and could speak it without having to yell it.

Hel: To this day, if I don't back down, I get very defensive. We're all works in progress.

Were you made fun of or teased in school? Who did so? What did they say?

Did the taunting affect you emotionally then? Now? Please elaborate.

Did you have a classmate or childhood friend who had a positive influence on your life? If yes, please explain the significance.

Jen: I spoke to dead people.

Jen and Hel: Keep going; you're doing great. Don't give up on you!

What activities and classes did you participate in (in and outside of school) that you enjoyed?

What were your favorite subjects in school and why?

What subjects did you excel in at school?

Do you look back on your school days with fondness, sadness, disdain, or something else? Why?

If you could take a positive (just one thing) from your educational experiences, what would it be? Elaborate on how it impacts you today.


What were the general ideas and beliefs your family held about







Sexuality/Sexual Orientation:

Jen: People had sex?

Hel: Maybe that's where the 7 billion people came from.



Recollect the beliefs your culture has toward




Jen: Seen but not heard.




Sexuality/Sexual Orientation:



How do these attitudes and values relate to yourself? How you view yourself as a person?

Did you grow up in a rural region or a city? What impact did that have on the views you have about yourself if any?

Do you share your family's and your community's beliefs today? If not, explain the differences.

Body Image Questionnaire

How do you feel about the way you look?

Do you compare yourself to others physically?

Always — Often — Sometimes — Rarely — Never

Do you feel you're in competition with the same sex to look good or better? Explain how.

Do you pick a different body part to dislike every week? For example, this week it's ankles.

What part of your physical body do you like least? Why?

Rate your body parts from one to ten, ten being the best.


Excerpted from WTF I'm Trying to Be Spiritual by Jeanette Bishop, Helen Varga. Copyright © 2016 Jeanette Bishop and Helen Varga. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents


Introduction, vii,
Chapter 1 - Self-Awareness, 1,
Chapter 2 - Who the Hell Am I Anyway?, 3,
Chapter 3 - Personal Image versus Who You Really Are, 120,
Chapter 4 - Tools for Your Toolbox, 130,
Chapter 5 - Exercises in the Practices of Love, 166,
Chapter 6 - Healing Emotionally, 217,
Chapter 7 - Healing Mentally, 224,
Chapter 8 - Healing Physically, 230,
Chapter 9 - Healing Spiritually, 242,
Chapter 10 - Personal Self-Love To-Do List, 248,
Chapter 11 - Self-Love Reminders, 250,

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