You Can Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game

You Can Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game

You Can Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game

You Can Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game


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Discover how to change the lives of the people around you

In You Can Change Other People, the world’s #1 executive coach, Peter Bregman, and Howie Jacobson, Ph.D., share the Four Steps to help the people around you make positive change — even if they’ve been stuck for years.

The authors rely on over 50 years of collective professional experience to show you exactly what to say to influence those around you for the better. Changing the way you talk will stop you from being perceived as a critic, and turn you into a welcomed and effective ally. You’ll learn how to:

  • Disarm their defensiveness and increase their confidence to act
  • Turn people’s biggest problems into even bigger opportunities
  • Ensure accountability and follow through without making them dependent on you

No one wants to be changed; but change and personal growth are critical to success, and more importantly, to a fulfilled life. You Can Change Other People is a must-read for those who want to improve their impact with co-workers, family members, and everyone in between.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781119816539
Publisher: Wiley
Publication date: 09/22/2021
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 1,065,491
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.60(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

PETER BREGMAN is CEO of Bregman Partners and recognized as the #1 executive coach by Leading Global Coaches. He leads the Bregman Leadership Coach Training and the Bregman Leadership Intensive, ranked the #1 leadership development program by Global Gurus. He is the bestselling author of five books, including Leading with Emotional Courage and 18 Minutes, a Wall Street Journal bestseller.

HOWIE JACOBSON, PHD, is Director of Coaching at Bregman Partners and Head Coach at the Healthy Minds Initiative. He is the host of the Plant Yourself podcast and contributing author of the New York Times bestseller Whole.

Table of Contents

A New Way to Help People (Because the Old Ways Don’t Work)

Chapter 1: Brian’s $170,000,000 Turnaround

Why It’s Important to Change Other People

Chapter 2: The Four Steps

A Quick Tour

Chapter 3: Yes I Want That Third Bowl of Ice Cream

People Don’t Resist Change, They Resist Being Changed

Chapter 4: Whose Spreadsheet Is It Anyway?


Chapter 5: Spencer Thinks He’s Helping, But He’s Not

Independent Capability

Chapter 6: If You are Willing to Feel Everything, You Can Do Anything

Emotional Courage

Chapter 7: Change is a Future Thing


SUMMARY OF THE FOUR STEPS [COMP this is a single Section opener, please differentiate from Part openers here and in text]

Step 1: Shift from Critic to Ally

Chapter 8: The Ramona Problem

Become an Ally

Chapter 9: Be Your Own Ally First

Let Go and Be Present

Chapter 10: Then, Become Their Ally

Empathize with the Other Person

Chapter 11: Silver Platter Opportunities

Permission Formula

Chapter 12: Do You Have a Minute?

You Initiate the Conversation

Chapter 13: Hey, I’m in Charge Here

The Misguided Reliance on Positional Power

Chapter 14: Pitfalls to Avoid

How to Stay on Track

Step 2: Identify an Energizing Outcome

Chapter 15: No More Code, No More Bugs

Problems are Signposts Pointing to Energizing Outcomes

Chapter 16: A Higher Bar Than a Functional Team

A Demo of the Outcome Step

Chapter 17: Positive

Transform “Don’t Want” into “Do Want”

Chapter 18: Clear

A Technique for Getting to Shared Clarity

Chapter 19: Meaningful

Getting to What Matters

Step 3: Find the Hidden Opportunity

Chapter 20: Become a Scientist

They’re Not Learning From You, They’re Learning With You

Chapter 21: That Does Sound Exciting!

A Demo of the Opportunity Step

Chapter 22: Explore the Problem in Depth

Question 1: What’s Happening Now?

Chapter 23: She Argues with Everyone

Separating Data from Interpretation

Chapter 24: What Worked and What Didn’t?

Question 2: What Have You Tried?

Chapter 25: Thank Goodness for This Problem

Question 3: How Can the Problem Get You to the Energizing Outcome?

Chapter 26: Keep Your GPS On

Pitfalls to Avoid in the Opportunity Step

Step 4: Create a Level-10 Plan

Chapter 27: Nail the Landing

Craft the Plan

Chapter 28: Identify Options

A Demo for the First Task

Chapter 29: Let’s Put That on the List. What Else Might You Try?

Tips to Help Them Identify Options

Chapter 30: Choose

A Demo for the Second Task

Chapter 31: If You Did Know, What Would It Be?

How to Help Them Choose

Chapter 32: Commit

A Demo for the Third Task

Chapter 33: What, How, and When?

Skyrocket Their Chances of Success

Chapter 34: You Can Change Other People

Taking the Four Steps into Your World


About the Authors


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