You Can't Have Him, He's Mine: A Woman's Guide to Affair-Proofing Her Relationship

You Can't Have Him, He's Mine: A Woman's Guide to Affair-Proofing Her Relationship

by Mariel H Browne, Marlene M. Browne

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Any marriage or long-term relationship can be vulnerable to an affair. In You Can't Have Him-He's Mine, Dr. Marie Browne and Marlene Browne, Esq., outline ways you can protect your relationship-using the techniques and strategies of the homewreckers themselves. This psychotherapist and family law attorney team up to show you:
  • What goes on in the other woman's head to make her go after your spoken-for man
  • What makes your husband or boyfriend susceptible to her advances
  • What you can do to stop her
In each chapter, you'll find proven mate-guarding tactics designed to ward off the would-be other woman. Using the authors' tried-and-true methods, you will become expert at assessing your mate as well as the quality of your relationship and home life for "infidelity vulnerability." Further, you will learn which of your own actions and attitudes may have made your man's affair all but inevitable.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781440516887
Publisher: Adams Media
Publication date: 04/02/2007
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 256
Sales rank: 443,241
File size: 929 KB

About the Author

Marie H. Browne, R.N., Ph.D., has been a licensed marriage and family therapist and professor of psychiatric nursing for nearly forty years. She maintains a thriving private practice in eastern New Jersey providing therapy for individuals, couples, and families. Her daughter, Marlene M. Browne, Esq., is a member of the American Bar Association and New Jersey State Bar Association. A family law attorney licensed in New Jersey, Massachusetts, and Colorado, she is the author of several books, including If the Man You Love Was Abused, also co-written with her mother. In addition to writing, Ms. Browne lectures on the law and other topics, appearing regularly as an expert guest on local and national media outlets. Ms. Browne resides in eastern New Jersey with her husband, Chris.

Table of Contents

Introduction     x
Assessing Love on the Home Front     1
Your Husband's Happiness Factor     3
Scratching His Itch     4
A Man's Maslow's Needs     10
Good Marital Habits     16
Telltales of Trouble Brewing     23
Preludes to Infidelity     25
Tidings of Potential Trouble     30
Altered Personal Routines     32
Separate Pursuits     34
Financial Changes     35
A Cry for Help     36
Marital Hazards and Husband Traps     39
The Ready Replacement Pool     41
Why She Wants Your Man     41
Neighbors and Sisters and Friends-Oh My!     44
Old Flames and Opportunists     49
Turn-About Is Unfair Play (Now That You're the Wife)     53
The Other Man-OM     54
Part-Time Lovers     56
Knowing Your Rival's Psyche     61
A Wife's Guide to Personality Disorders     62
Narcissists-Loving Themselves and Your Husband     63
Borderlines-Desperately Seeking Your Husband     65
Antisocials     68
Psychotic Dangers     70
Where Temptation Waits     73
Employment Opportunities     74
Marital Travel Advisory     84
Let's Get Physical Fitness Center     85
Home: The Danger Zone     86
The Internet-A Modem to His Heart     88
A Look in Your Marital Mirror     95
Your Positive Marriage Assortment     95
Knowing Thyself-And Thy Husband     98
Narcissistic Husbands     104
Borderline Mates     105
The Psychopath Husband     106
Recognizing Your Weaknesses     107
Seizing Your Wifely Power     115
Wifely Tricks and Advantages     117
What You're Up Against     117
Embeddedness Benefits     120
Exploiting Marital Interdependency     122
Giving Good, Um, Attention     123
The Marital Emergency     129
Undressing Infidelity     129
Understanding the Damage     131
Confronting Your Husband     134
Explain What You've Learned     136
Dealing Directly with Her     140
Evaluating EMI     141
Affair Typology, Part Two     145
Therapeutic Intervention     146
Exploiting Your Spousal Prerogatives      153
Gathering Your Allies     153
Pillow Talking It Out     158
Marital Conflict: You Can Work It Out     160
Turning the Tide by Exposing Her Shortcomings     162
Is It Worth the Effort?     165
Do You Still Want Him?     165
Exploring Your Options with Pros (Lawyers and Marital Therapists)     172
Examining the Ex Factor     176
Deciding How Your Story Ends     181
To Your Own Rescue     183
The Damage of Stress     184
Mending the Psyche     186
The Highest Power Can Help     188
Depression Management     190
Dealing with Trauma and Finding Forgiveness     193
Toward the New     193
A New Beginning, Either Way     195
Potential Costs of Adultery-Regardless     203
Emotional Blackmail     204
Claims and Charges     204
Uncivil Civil Affairs     205
Your Rights Against Her     212
Keeping It Together     215
What Research Tells Us     215
Perceptions Matter     218
Physical and Emotional Friends for Life     222
The Love Scale      225
Ego Defense Mechanisms     229
Sexual Self-Efficacy Scale for Female Functioning     233
Mate Retention Inventory     237
References     243
Resources     263
Index     271

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