You Know Where to Find Me

You Know Where to Find Me

by Rachel Cohn


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Jamal said only, "Laura..." And I knew, just knew by the rip through my gut and the instant convulsion in my heart, knew by Jamal's uncharacteristically unsmiling face. I knew because Laura always did what I wished I could do.

First cousins Laura and Miles grew up like sisters. Miles thought of Laura as the golden one -- smart, beautiful, rich, and popular -- while Miles considered herself the unwanted one -- an unattractive, underachieving outcast. Laura's suicide shatters Miles and leaves her feeling completely alone, and sets Miles on a dangerous downward spiral. But in the strength Miles finds in herself and in those she didn't believe cared about her, she is able to rebuild her life in unexpected ways.

Rachel Cohn's emotionally powerful new novel views serious issues such as depression, suicide, prescription-drug abuse, and alternative family configurations through the lens of family love and survival.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780689878602
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books For Young Readers
Publication date: 02/24/2009
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 681,947
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.50(d)
Age Range: 12 - 14 Years

About the Author

Rachel Cohn is the bestselling author of You Know Where to Find Me, Gingerbread, Shrimp, Cupcake, Pop Princess, and, with David Levithan, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List, and Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares as well as the tween novels The Steps and Two Steps Forward. Born in Washington, DC, she graduated from Barnard College in New York and has lived on both coasts. She lives in Los Angeles. Visit her at

Read an Excerpt


My so-called parents hate my boyfriend, Shrimp. I'm not sure they even believe he is my boyfriend. They take one look at his five-foot-five, surfer-shirt-wearin', baggy-jeans-slouchin', Pop Tart-eatin', spiked-hair-head self and you can just see confusion firebombs exploding in their heads, like they are thinking, Oh no, Cyd Charisse, that young man is not your homes.

Dig this: He is.

At least Shrimp always remembers to call my mother "Mrs." instead of just grunting in her direction, like most guys my age do. And no parent could deny that hanging out with Shrimp is an improvement over Justin, my ex, from my old prep school. Justin got me into trouble, big time. I'm so over the Justin stage.

Not like Sid and Nancy care much. I have done my parents the favor of becoming more or less invisible.

Sid, my father, calls me a "recovering hellion." Sid's actually mystepfather. You could say I hardly know my real father. I met him atan airport once when I was five. He was tall and skinny and had inkblack hair, like me. We ate lunch in a smoky pub at the Dallas-FortWorth airport. I did not like my hamburger so my real dad openedhis briefcase and offered me a piece of homemade gingerbread hehad wrapped in tinfoil.

He bought me a brown rag doll at the airport gift shop. Thecashier had made the doll herself. She said she had kept the doll hid-den under her cash register waiting for just the right little girl. Myreal dad gave the cashier a one-hundred-dollar bill and told her tokeep the change. I named my dolly Gingerbread.

Nancy and I were on our way to San Francisco to become Sid's family. My real dad was on his way back to New York, to his real wife and family. They don't know about me.

I'm fairly sure that my real dad's wife would not mind that I make scissors cuts on my arms and then pick the scabs. His real wifeprobably makes fresh gingerbread every day and writes Things To Do lists and does her own groceryshopping instead of having ahousekeeper and a driver do everything for her,like Nancy does.

Nancy only met Justin once, at the expulsion hearing. The headmaster told her Justin and I were caught fooling around in a room loaded with Jack Daniels and prescription bottles. In flagrante delicto were the words the headmaster used. I failed Latin.

Nancy said Justin was from a "wonderful Connecticut family" and how could I shame her and Sid like that. It was Justin who wasselling the ecstasy out of his dorm room, not me. It was Justin who said he pulled out in time. Sid and Nancy never knew about that part.

Nancy came into my room one night after I returned home to San Francisco. Sid and my younger half-sibs were at Father's Night at their French immersion school. "I hope your friends use condoms," Nancy said, which was funny because she knows Shrimp is my only friend. She threw a box of Trojans onto the lace-trimmed four-poster bed that I hate. Shrimp is a safety boy, he takes care of those things. If it had been Shrimp back in boarding school, h ewould have come with me to the clinic.

"Can I have a futon on the floor instead of this stupid princess bed?" I said. The thought of my mother even knowing about contraception, much less doling it out, was beyond comprehension,much less discussion.

Nancy sighed. Sighing is what she does instead of eating. "I paid ten thousand dollars to redecorate this room while you were atboarding school. No, you may not, Cyd Charisse."

Everybody in my family calls me by my first and middle name since my dad's name is pronounced the same as my first name. When she was twenty years old and pregnant with me, Nancy thought she would eventually marry my real dad. She named me after this dancer-actress from like a million years ago who starred in this movie that Nancy and real-dad saw on their first date, before she found out he had a whole other life. The real Cyd Charisse is like this incredibly beautiful sex goddess. I am okay looking. I could never be superhuman sexy like the real Cyd Charisse. I mean there is only room for so much grace and beauty in one person named Cyd Charisse, not two.

Nancy fished a pack of Butter Rum LifeSavers out of her designer jacket and held them out to me. "Want a piece of my dinner?" Copyright © 2008 by Rachel Cohn

Customer Reviews

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You Know Where to Find Me 3.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 32 reviews.
TeensReadToo More than 1 year ago
Laura and Miles grew up together. They were cousins who lived so close that Miles could sneak out of her room on scary, stormy nights and escape to the safety of Laura's bed. They spent hours in their tree house and hiding out in their favorite bookstore. As little girls became adolescents, though, being related and living near each other didn't guarantee closeness.

Miles liked to eat and drink. And smoke. Her body put on weight, her poorly-dyed hair never behaved, and she escaped the world by reading. Her grades sucked. She didn't care.

Laura was a beautiful, social butterfly. She was pleasant. Got good grades. Had the perfect boyfriend. The adoring father. So why is she the one who killed herself?

And Miles wonders why Laura got everything. Everything. She even got to escape the world. She got what Miles wanted. Miles planned on joining her. Who would even care if Miles died, anyway?

With that frame of mind, Miles takes several downward turns which continue to lead her in the direction her life had been heading for a long time. Laura even left Miles a secret stash of drugs to help her cope. For a while, Miles chooses to live life in a state of numbness. The worst thing to her was when the fog faded and she had to face life
without her cousin.

As you read YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME, you find touching characters. You care for them--not just Miles--but her father, Laura's father, even Laura herself. Miles falls to such a low that everyone worries about her chances of survival. But somehow in this cocoon of a druggy fog, there's a spirit of a person. A person who is stronger than many people realized. People are not always what they seem. Sometimes they are stronger. Sometimes weaker.

Rachel Cohn has written a touching novel that covers so many issues. And it leaves you thinking. Wondering. Hoping.
Pamela_Lighthouse More than 1 year ago
I picked this book up one afternoon at the Barnes and Noble by my house, and it was only 200 pages or so, so i figured i could read it in a day. I had never read anything that was so dark, and just very much not me. It is all about drug abuse and suicide, and i acctually really enjoyed it. I alwasy thought of "those kinds of people" to be bad people, but this story is told from thier point of view, so it really doesnt seem all that bad. Now granted, im not going to go out and smoke some weed and snort some coke, but it just really mad me look at life differently. I mean, not life in general, and not my life particularly, but how people live thier lives;it made me think differenly about them. Overall, it was a good book to read on a rainy afternoon. I enjoyed the language and the wording expecially. It was kind of a dark humored book. I liked it, but now i need to watch a funny adam sandler movie tomake me feel a little less depressed:)
MrsHillReads on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A dramatic tale of grief, depression & drug abuse showing that things aren't always as they seem. Good reading for those people who love looking at the dark side of others. The cover seems wrong for this book!
beckystandal on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Cousins Miles and Laura grew up like sisters in a non-traditional family environment. In high school, while Laura went to an elite private school and was smart, beautiful, and popular and Miles attended a public charter school and was goth, overweight, and an underachiever, the two shared a secret misery which they dosed with illegal prescription drugs in the tree house they had played in as children. So when Laura kills herself, Miles feels utterly abandoned. Self-medicating in the bathroom before Laura¿s funeral is only the beginning of Miles¿ summer-long downward spiral. ¿You Know Where to Find Me¿ is a good recommendation for fans of ¿Thirteen Reasons Why¿ and books by Ellen Hopkins. It¿s a powerful and engaging novel not just about suicide and drug abuse, but also about family, body issues, and unrequited love. While I wish some secondary characters had been more fully developed, particularly Laura, the ending of the novel is satisfying. There is, however, a thread throughout the whole book on the D.C. statehood campaign which is distracting and slightly annoying. While some teens do care about political issues, the didactic nature of that part of the book made me wonder if Cohn had some agenda while writing it or if she¿d lost a bet. In any case, recommended for high school and public library teen fiction collections.
lnommay on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Book talk:I'm worried that one of you will latch on to this young adult novel and get the impression that drug use is a wonderful avenue for escaping one's problems. I'm afraid that many readers may not be able to read between the lines as the main character's life heads into a downward spiral. Miles, the main character, narrates her story of grief, drug use, loneliness, and loss. Cousins MIles and Laura grew up like sisters. They shared their dreams together as sisters often do. They also shared their escapes through drug use. Laura's final escape with the aid of drugs ended in her suicide, and Miles has been left alone. Unlike the beautiful, popular girl that Laura was destined to become, Miles is overweight, dies her blond hair black, powders her face in the color of death, wears a nose stud and lip ring, and paints her mouth the purple color of a good bruise. She is called '8 mile' at school, which she says is in reference to her being 'white trash with the wide load.' Now that Laura is gone, Miles can barely function. As Miles slips deeper into depression, the title of the book seems ominous.
callmecayce on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is the first book I've read by Cohn that wasn't one of the two she wrote with David Levithan. I'd wanted something lighter, but had forgotten what You Know Where to Find Me was about. In the end, I didn't want to read anything other than this book. Cohn's writing is just as good as I'd hoped and her storytelling ability is as strong on her own as it was with Levithan. What makes You Know Where to Find Me so good is the main character of Miles. In many ways, this is because I identify with Miles (though not the smoking or drugs, just most everything else). She is believable, her pain is believable as is her coping. It's not that these themes can't be found in other books (see: Gail Giles), but it's the way Cohn writes that it different. We see, live and experience life the way Miles does. From the first person to the third person to the drug-induced haze of loss and love. Cohn's story is good because it's real, and it's real because her writing captures everything with a blunt honesty that can only be afforded by the fact that Miles is, to us, exactly who she is. While she might be trying to find herself, we're getting to know her. And in the end, it's worth everything because Cohn's writing is strong enough to take us on that journey and to let us know that if Miles can find her way back, we can too.
MeriJenBen on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Miles and Laura, cousins who were raised like sisters, grew apart as they grew up. Laura, the only child of a prominent gay activist, was golden and perfect, a fairy tale princess. Introverted Miles, was the fat poor relation, who lived in the carriage house. Inseprable as girls, the two teens only came together to share drugs in their childhood tree house. When Laura committs suicide just after her high school graduation, Miles goes into a tailspin. Further complicating matters is the reappearance of Miles estranged father, and Miles' realization that she wants her relationship with her best friend, the handsome and popular Jamal, to move beyond friendship. This is a good book, but, it's frustrating, because I feel like there is the kernel of a great book here. Miles is complicated and infuriating; also, it's refreshing that Cohn chose to write about a fat girl. However, I think Cohn gets far too bogged down in her language (which I personally find somewhat grating) to the detriment of her story. These characters move in the same ready money upper class world as the rest of Cohn's creations, it would be nice to see her stretch a bit. This book will definately find an audience; and as I said it is a good book, I just can't help but feel that Cohn is capable of more.
ruststar on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I like Rachel Cohn a lot - I've loved the books she did with David Levithan. That said, I was really disappointed with this book. I had a hard time connecting with Miles, and all the blather about DC state's rights felt really out of place. Not literally, since it was set in DC, but like every sidebar about the issue could have been removed and changed almost nothing about the story. That said, I really liked her uncle and the set up, and even the subject. The main character just really put me off.
welkinscheek on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A very solomn book. Watching the main character lie to herself and gradualy realize the many ways she was fooling herself was natural, gorgeous, and very sad.
abbylibrarian on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
High schooler Miles's life is turned upside down when her cousin/best friend commits suicide. Overweight and antisocial, Miles turns to drugs to ease the pain and as she slips further and further into the drug haze, she risks ending up like her cousin. I loved the character of Miles. She makes no apologies for who she is, she's totally sarcastic, and she could really be something if she would only get over herself. I love Rachel Cohn's style, but I'm not exactly sure what the point of the story was. A big red flag is excessive drug use and description of feeling high, etc. Although the bad side of the drugs are definitely shown at the end, be aware that drug use is depicted in great detail and in a very positive way for parts of the book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is the most boring book in the universe. Never i have i ever read anything so depressing, i'm a bookworm. I read about two books a day and i probably read a hundred in one month, i have found interest in book since i was eight and now that i was fifteen i had never ecounter a book this boring. And really this book does not deserve any star Trust me i know a good book when i read one. I know because i recommend the book for my friends who also likes to read and they are always asking me that how the hell do i find an amazing book. This is not a book i will recommend
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Heidi_G More than 1 year ago
Miles and Laura were cousins and at some times, best friends (those times being mainly when they got high together). After Laura's suicide, Miles loses herself in cigarettes, pills, and food. Her other best friend, Jamal, doesn't seem to be there for her when she needs him, Laura's best friend, Bex, suddenly wants to hang out with Miles, and Miles' long-absent father appears on the scene and actually seems to want a place in her life. The downward spiral that is Miles' life continues as Jamal and Bex become more friendly as Miles realizes that she wants more than just friendship from Jamal. She retreats once again into a pill-popping state. Will she follow her cousin into the final resting place of no pain? I did not connect with the main characters--Miles because she was so caught up in tryng to overcome her pain with drugs and at times, self-pity, and Jamal because he seemed emotionally wishy-washy (being that he's a teen, no surprise there). I just didn't care about what happened in the plot. Perhaps if I were a high school student, this book would resonate with me but it didn't. Reviewed in Booklist, School Library Journal, and Kirkus. Review copy provided by Puget Sound Council.
Cougar_H More than 1 year ago
If I can ever recomend a book I would recomend 'You Know Where to Find Me.' This is a good and fascinating book to recomend if you like how to deal with real /emotinal tradegies. When Laura comits suicide Miles, Malanie and Jim have to reunite as a family to know what to do but , mean while Jamal has to help Miles escape High School so dhe doesnt go there alone. This is a great book to recomend because it also teaches you about emotinal and tragicall event and how to deal with them but not by yourself.
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GotchaAngel214 More than 1 year ago
This book is so extroadinary. I read the first few pages, then the next few, and pretty soon I had read the whole book. I was bawling by the first couple chapters. This book is realistic and it makes you reconsider how you think about depression and tragedy. Miles' story pulled me in because she was so easy to relate too. That's not to say I think the book will make someone want to do drugs or commit suicide, only that when I read this book, I felt her emotions. Miles perspective showed the outlook of a girl who must cope with the loss of the person they most look up to. It shows the raw emotions and painful truths of someone faced with suicide and drugs, paired with parental issues, teenage insecurites and jealousy. I honestly couldn't put this book down.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was so realistic and truthful. It showed raw accounts of jealousy, suicide, drug use, insecurities. I easily read this book in about three days.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
kitxkatxbar More than 1 year ago
This book was not very capturing. It doesn't catch your attention the second you read it. However, after reading it, you start realizing Miles pain and how she decides to cope with it. The ending of the novel is pretty good but you have to challenge yourself to finish this novel. It took me awhile to even get into the book and when I did, it had probably been about a week or so. This book is pretty depressing so brace yourself. Chances are you're probably going to sleep through the beginning and then be captured from the middle to the end of the book.
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ashley_42 More than 1 year ago
I did notl ike this book at all. it was really dull and depressing! all about suicide and drugs It really got my depressed NOthing really exciting really happened I dont get the point of it really other than to depress you I wouldn't recomment this.