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Your Fittest Future Self: Making Choices Today for a Happier, Healthier, Fitter Future You
240Overview
With all of diet and exercise regimens available, it is almost impossible to navigate the health world without feeling overwhelmed or paralyzed by indecision. Instead of trying to find the perfect program to follow, Kathleen Trotter shows you how to create one, with your own unique health history, goals, and life realities in mind.
No one diet, exercise, or mindfulness strategy works for everyone. The key to long-term health success is the ability to sift through all of the diet and workout information available and put together a "health mix” that works for you.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781459741287 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Dundurn Press |
| Publication date: | 01/29/2019 |
| Pages: | 240 |
| Product dimensions: | 6.75(w) x 8.25(h) x 0.55(d) |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
Rethinking "Fit"
Who exactly is your fitter future self?
What does future you look like?
You have decided you want to create a fitter future self — great! Recognizing a desire for change is the key first step in creating a fitter, healthier future self. The next step is to figure out who exactly your fitter future self will be.
If you are thinking, I want to look and be fit. Fit is fit. What is Kathleen talking about? Don't worry. That is a common response. Fit is a word often thrown around as if there is one monolithic version of fit — as if fit will look the same on everyone. Fit not only looks different on everyone but will also look different on the same person as they age or as their life realities change. Take my dad: he used to play hockey and only hockey. Now that he is seventy, he plays fewer games per week so he can have time to strength train, garden, bike, and do some Pilates with me. He views these new additions as activities that will keep him mobile enough to play hockey for life. In my twenties I completed a full Ironman, eight half Ironmans, and ten marathons. I thrived on endurance events. Now I gravitate toward shorter runs and Pilates. Why the change? Possibly because I no longer feel the need to prove myself, and possibly because I am concentrating more on my work. Either way, my vision of who I want Kathleen to be — the way I want to spend my time and what I value — has changed. Maybe next year I will do CrossFit. Who knows? The immense possibilities life offers are among the incredible privileges of being alive.
The problem with the current widespread, immutable, one-size-fits-all interpretation of fitness and fit is that it is, at best, unrealistic and, at worst, highly unmotivating.
You might be wondering why this chapter isn't called Rethinking Health. I purposely use fit rather than a broader term such as health for two interconnected reasons. First — and most important — the title of the book is Your Fittest Future Self. To create that fittest future you, you have to first understand how fit will look on you: What is your understanding of fit? How will you embody your understanding of the word? Who is this future you? Second, the title of my first book is Finding Your Fit. Why is this pertinent? For me, fit is a loaded word. Your fit is not just your jean size or how many push-ups you can do. Your fit is the interconnection between the activities that work best for your body, your relationship to your body, your inner sense of worth, your history, your goals, and how your understanding of health and wellness plays out — how it fits — on your body.
People too often fall off the fitness horse because they let preconceived ideas of what a fit person is inform their image of health success. A stereotypically fit person drinks protein shakes, has washboard abs, and trains daily. The problem is, why even start working out when the image of what you are trying to become seems so unachievable? This unattainable version of fit becomes yet another way we self-sabotage, indulge in false either-or choices, and let ourselves off the hook. In short, we don't change or evolve, and we spiral further down the rabbit hole of "I always fail whenever I try. I am doomed to be unhealthy. Why even try?"
WHAT'S YOUR FIT?
Before you read the remainder of the book to learn strategies that will help you form your fittest future self, it's important to figure out what fit means to you. What will fit look like on you? Here are some questions to think about.
* How old are you?
* What are your genetics?
* What are your financial realities?
* What are your past injuries?
* How much time do you realistically have to commit to movement?
* What is your exercise personality?
* Do you need to work out at home?
* Do you thrive on competition?
* Do you like group exercise classes?
* Are you so busy you have to fit motion into your daily life?
WHAT IS HEALTHY?
What does fit and healthy mean to you?
Too often, two options — two extremes — exist. Either a person is dedicated, absolutely on their program, and trying to look like a movie star or in the zone of self-acceptance. Typically, neither extreme is productive. Looking like a movie star is — for most people — not an attainable, realistic, or healthy goal. Creating a movie star aesthetic demands intense dedication layered onto all-star genetics — a laser focus on diet and exercise that most of us are not willing to have. That degree of dedication often ends up bordering on unhealthy compulsion.
On the other end of the extreme lies the idea that being healthy is about absolute self-acceptance devoid of a need for growth. While I absolutely advocate self-love and compassion, being healthy does not mean adopting the attitude that you love yourself enough to accept your(unhealthy)-self just the way you are. Too often the "I love myself enough" attitude is used to justify self-indulgent, unhealthy behaviours by couching them in the legitimate psychological end goal of self-love. The thing is, when you actually love yourself, you want to make healthy choices, not excuse unhealthy behaviours and thoughts.
Wanting to look like a movie star and staying stuck out of a pretense of self-acceptance are two of the most prevalent philosophies of health and together are an example of a false choice. When I suggest figuring out what health looks like for you, I don't mean simply finding the balance between those two points. Balance implies that to be healthy you have to find a perfect middle ground. What I want you to decide is what works for you. To most, my version of health normal — my ideal balance — would feel extreme. That is okay. It works for me.
Instead of looking for the middle of two socially constructed polar opposites — or even caring about any socially constructed concepts of health — find the version of health that works for you, one that includes a WORKOUTmix, NUTRITIONmix, and MINDSETmix that are both individualized and open-ended. Health has no end date.
Creating an individualized MINDSETmix is not an "if you have time" aspect of adopting a healthy lifestyle. The right mindset is critical; your mindset overlays every health choice you make. Your mindset — your inner dialogue — allows you to dispute your negative brain propaganda and form appropriate responses. Once you have a strong mindset, the ability to act will follow.
Striving for the "perfect" body is just another way to hustle for approval from others and from yourself. The perfect body doesn't exist. Perfection is not possible; no one I have ever met who has what others would deem the perfect body thinks that their body is perfect. We all are our own worst enemies and critics.
I don't want to turn you into a whole new you. A new you implies that there is something wrong with the original version. Instead, I want you to learn to love and value yourself. I want you to be the great person you are, just a more active and health-conscious version. I want you to be the fittest future you that you envision!
STRATEGIES FOR RETHINKING FIT
So, how do you rethink fit? Here are some strategies.
ALIGN YOUR GOALS WITH YOUR IDENTITY AND VALUES. Embrace both the final result you desire and the effort it will take to reach that result. The amount of work you are willing to actually put in to reach your goal — versus what you wish you would do — has to align with your values and your goals.
To successfully achieve any goal, you can't just be okay with the intended result (for example, losing twenty pounds); you have to be okay with the process (the work that goes into dropping the weight). Be realistic about the work you are willing to do. If the work needed doesn't align with your values and willingness to persist, you will not continue. For example, working out after work might seem ideal for your waistline, but if you value family dinners more than your waistline, you will eventually stop going. Find a realistic solution: perhaps involve your family in the cooking, alternate nights of family dinners with gym workouts, shorten your workouts, work out at home or in the morning, or shorten family dinnertime.
Another example is the way I negotiate social situations. I have clients who feel compelled to eat food when they are at someone else's house. To use Gretchen Rubin's paradigm from The Four Tendencies, they are "obligers." To use Kathleen-speak, their value system says that passing on the host's food is rude, and being polite is more important than sticking to their nutrition rules. For them, abstinence at a party is unrealistic — the cost of saying no to a friend is too high. They pay their cost with their health. For me, my health is paramount; I say no to food all the time. I am more than okay with saying, "no, thank you," politely, but firmly. Or I offer to bring a healthy option so I have something to eat. I have decided that the cost of this choice — some people don't love when I say no — is almost always worth it. I know my friends know me, so I am confident they don't believe I am acting out of malice or cruelty. My future self is happy with the choice. Every choice has a cost. Decide what cost you are willing to pay.
Your goals have to connect to what you can actually live with and to your identity. Changing a health habit is going to be almost impossible long term if it conflicts with your identity. My identity is very much tied to being a health professional, which is part of why I can say no to unhealthy food.
I also have clients who are within their healthy weight range but who want to lose a few pounds for aesthetic reasons. The closer they are to the low end of a healthy weight range, the harder it will be for them to lose weight — it takes proportionally more work. Many people say they want to lose five pounds, but when it comes down to the identity shift and values that it would take to reach that goal (for example, no alcohol and virtually no sugar), they decide that in the end it is not worth it.
Einstein reportedly said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results," as well as, "If you want different results, you have to try different approaches." Learn from your old ways of being but know that you have to act differently now if you want your future self to have different habits, values, and identity markers. At every moment decide to either engage with the choice that will produce your fitter future self or engage with your old identity. Align what you are willing to do with who you want to become.
STOP THE SHAME CYCLE. Putting yourself a shame spiral (e.g., I ate this cookie so I am worthless and thus might as well eat another one) is not compassionate or productive. Learn to note the problem, learn from it, and move on.
In previous works, I have written that "guilt is counterproductive." I want to amend that slightly. Shame is counterproductive and emotionally and physically damaging, but guilt can sometimes spur some people into action. By guilt I mean the feeling of regretting a specific action, as in saying to yourself, I wish I had not eaten that cookie. Shame, on the other hand, is conflating making a less-than-ideal choice with being a bad person. When you fall into the shame cycle, you get into a trap of thinking, I did X; therefore, I am worthless. Feelings of worthlessness do not breed self-efficacy, positive feelings, or productive action.
I am not motivated by guilt. I am motivated by the fact that I know being active will make my future self feel better, more energized, and empowered. But if feeling guilty spurs you to action, use it; if you can learn from the guilt and make better choices next time, great. Just don't let guilt melt into shame. Shame is not helpful for anyone.
How do we break the shame cycle? The three tools that help me break the shame cycle are choosing language carefully; journaling experiences, which includes keeping an inventory of successes; and always having a growth mindset. In The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Braving the Wilderness, and Rising Strong, Brené Brown highlights the importance of "speaking your shame." Why? Because in her language, silence breeds shame; when you don't "speak" a shame story, the unresolved feelings of shame will fester and shape everything you do — all choices, including food choices. So find a way to articulate your shame story in an arena where you will not be shamed further. For me that is talking to my therapist; my partner, James; or my mom. Find your person, or journal and write your story to yourself. Get it out in a non-judgmental context. Speak it so it does not own you. Or to use meditation discourse, "name it to tame it."
1. CHOOSE YOUR LANGUAGE CAREFULLY. First, stop using language that undermines your self-efficacy. Own your experiences. Instead of saying, "I couldn't work out today," say, "I decided to prioritize something else." Instead of "I have to exercise," say, "I want to work to improve my X." Instead of "My husband cut up brownies so I had to eat them," say, "My husband went to the trouble of making brownies so I decided that having a small amount was worth it." Second, stop with the belittling and degrading self-talk. Talk to yourself as if you like yourself, as you would talk to your child or someone you love. Don't let yourself off the hook, but remind yourself that you are human.
2. INVENTORY YOUR SUCCESSES. Each night take the time to inventory your successes. When possible, actually write down two or three things you did well. Celebrate little wins. Don't just note the wins, though; take stock of the strategies you used to accomplish the wins so you can reproduce them.
3. HAVE A GROWTH MINDSET. A growth mindset is the ability to non-judgmentally learn from every experience. Instead of berating yourself over a regrettable choice, note what you learned from the experience. Did you overeat at a party because you felt out of place? Because you stood next to the food table? Because you were too tired? Then learn from these experiences. Get back on your health horse as a more informed rider. We will circle back on this concept throughout Your Fittest Future Self — harnessing this ability is paramount.
4. LEARN TO PARENT YOURSELF. Schedule your life as you would your child's. Apply the same amount of mindfulness to your own nutrition as you would for a loved one. Talk to yourself in a way you would want your child or best friend to talk about themselves.
After fifteen years as a trainer, I have noticed a distinct pattern. Too often there is a disconnect between what clients think is good enough for their loved ones and what is good enough for them personally. Too many people (especially mothers) can outline in detail the healthy choices they make for others but find it nearly impossible to implement the same choices for themselves.
We all know (for the most part) what is healthy. Fries or a salad? Vegetables and hummus or a chocolate bar? Water or coffee? The answers are often obvious — most healthy choices are not complicated. The problem is, when it comes to our own health, knowing and doing — especially doing over the long term — are two very different things.
The key phrase is our own health. Most of us prioritize healthy choices for others (like a child or an elderly loved one), yet we find ways of letting ourselves off the hook. You know what I mean: "I can eat that just this once" turns into eating it for weeks; "I will work out Monday" turns into three Mondays from now; "I can watch another hour of TV instead of sleeping since it is a special occasion" leads to the de-prioritizing of sleep becoming a habit.
I have learned to ask my clients to consciously make choices as if they were making them for someone else. Regarding exercise, that means actively s cheduling your life as you would your child's life. Most people I meet actively plan their children's activity schedule; they know that if they don't schedule in movement, their kids will sit and play video games or do something equally inactive. Unfortunately, they often don't actively schedule and prioritize their own exercise regimen. The key word is actively. Actively schedule your activity as you would your child's.
Regarding nutrition, apply the same amount of mindfulness to your own nutrition as you would for a loved one. You wouldn't expect your kids to eat food off your plate, snack before dinner, or mindlessly grab a chocolate bar at three o'clock, but that is how most parents I work with feed themselves.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Your Fittest Future Self"
by .
Copyright © 2018 Kathleen Trotter.
Excerpted by permission of Dundurn Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Introduction 7
1 Rethinking "Fit" 17
2 Getting Dut of Your Own Way 33
3 Your NUTRITlONmix: Foundations 47
4 Your NUTRITlONmix: Understanding the Basics 65
5 Preparing for Your WORKOUTmix 89
6 Finding' Your WORKOUTmix 107
7 Workout Plans 141
8 Setting Up for Your MINDSETmix 161
9 Strategies for Your MINDSETmix 177
10 Staying on Your Health Horse 197
Final Musings 215
Appendix: Kathleen's Recommendations for Growth, Learning, and Joy 225
Acknowledgements 231
About Kathleen 235
Credits 237
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