Regardless of what you want to accomplish, from growing your business, creating a great company culture, championing a social cause, or affecting your habits, you can’t do it alone. The people around you define your success (whatever that means for you) and they have the potential to change the course of your life.
That’s what You’re Invited is about: The most universal strategy for success is creating meaningful connections with those who can impact you, your life, and the things you care about. But how do you make those connections and build trust quickly? What do you do if you’re introverted or hate networking?
Behavioral scientist Jon Levy had no money, reputation or status, but was able to convince groups of Nobel Laureates, Olympians, celebrities, Fortune 500 executives, and even an occasional princess to not only give him advice, but cook him dinner, wash his dishes, sweep his floors, and then thank him for the experience. The goal of his gatherings, much like this book, was not networking, but to build meaningful and lasting relationships.
This private community based around the dinner experience became known as “The Influencers”, named for the member’s success and industry influence. Since its inception more than a decade ago, The Influencers has grown into the largest private group of its kind worldwide, with a thriving community both in person and through digital experiences.
In You’re Invited, Levy guides readers through the art and science of creating deep and meaningful connections with anyone, regardless of their stature or celebrity, and demonstrates how we develop influence, gain trust, and build community so that we can impact our communities and achieve what’s important to us.
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About the Author
More than a decade ago, Jon founded The Influencers Dinner, a secret dining experience for industry leaders, from Nobel laureates, Olympians, celebrities, and executives to artists, musicians, and the Grammy-winning voice of the bark from “Who Let the Dogs Out.” Guests cook dinner together but can’t discuss their careers or give their last names. Once seated to eat, they reveal who they are. Over time, these dinners developed into a community. With thousands of members, The Influencers is the largest community of its type worldwide.
In his free time, Jon works on outrageous projects, among them spending a year traveling to all seven continents and attending the world’s greatest events (Grand Prix, Art Basel, Burning Man, Running of the Bulls, etc.), barely surviving to tell the tale. These adventures were chronicled in his first book, The 2 AM Principle: Discover the Science of Adventure.
Table of Contents
Part I The Influence Equation
Chapter 1 The Power of an Invitation 3
The Influence Equation, Weight Watchers, American Anti-Slavery Society, the Influencers Dinner, and What This Book Is About
Chapter 2 The Benefit of Belonging 25
Addiction, Social Pain, Sardinia, and the Greatest Predictor of Longevity
Chapter 3 What Trust Is Made Of 37
The Good Doctor, the Trust Project, and the Importance of Benevolence
Chapter 4 The Science of Building Trust Quickly, aka Why Everyone Loves a Dombås 45
Marine Boot Camp, Gino the Salesman, the Halo Effect, Sororities, IKEA, Vulnerability Loops, and the Moral Molecule
Chapter 5 The Problem with Connecting 63
Indian Retirement Home, the Hummingbird Problem, the Greatest Art Heist in History, and the Mere Exposure Effect
Chapter 6 How to Connect with Anyone 71
The Levels of Influence
Chapter 7 Connecting with Global and Industry Influencers 75
Oprah and The Color Purple; the Success of TED; and the Importance of Generosity, Novelty, Curation, and Awe
Chapter 8 Connecting with Community and Personal Influencers 93
Red Bull and Skills, Opportunities, Access, and Resources
Sense of Community 101
Chapter 9 The Structure of Community 103
Chapter 10 Membership 107
The South African Springboks and Feeling Like You Are on the Inside
Chapter 11 Influence 115
Wikipedia and Having a Say
Chapter 12 Integration and Fulfillment of Needs 119
ConBody and Succeeding After Prison
Chapter 13 Shared Emotional Connection 125
The Origin of Comic-Con and the Hero We Needed
Part II The Path … Home-What to Do with the Influence Equation
Chapter 14 What Is a Path and How Will It Change Your Life? 133
Predicting Human Behavior, Criminal Minds, Walt Disney World, the Economist, and the Elephant and the Rider
Chapter 15 Designing a Path 145
UCLA Gymnastics, Discovery Engagement and Membership, and the Aesthetic Scentability Brunch
Chapter 16 Your Path for Creating Community 159
CreativeMornings; Flagships, Offshoots, and Large Gatherings; and the Finite and Infinite Game
Part III Applying It All in Your Life
Chapter 17 Creating Communities for Business Success 177
Salesforce and How and When to Design Dinners, Parties, Conferences, and Events
Chapter 18 Cause-Based Communities 193
The National Multiple Sclerosis Society, the End of Galas, and How to Connect with Donors and Supporters
Chapter 19 Cultivating Company Culture 201
The Google Puzzle, Recruiting, Employment, and How to Increase Retention and Attract the Best Talent
Chapter 20 Social Communities 209
Games Night, Ernest Shackleton, and Your New Friends
Chapter 21 Developing an Online Community 215
Reimagining Events, Meetup.com, and Gifts from Reddit
Conclusion An Invitation That Could Change Your Life 227
Daryl Davis, a Boogie Musician and His New Friend, and a Question for You