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The definitive manual for eating, drinking, and fondling food from the James Beard Award-winning Twitter sensation, Ruth Bourdain.
Twitter sensation and culinary mash-up Ruth Bourdain, winner of the 2011 James Beard Foundation Award for Humor, is your personal guide on this culinary adventure, sharing a wealth of knowledge acquired through years in restaurant kitchens, experimentation with food porn, smoking tangerine zest, and an unfortunate incident involving a durian. Along the way, Comfort Me with Offal features vivid and fascinating personal stories from Ruth Bourdain’s extraordinary life in food, including appearances from many of the world’s most renowned chefs.
Not since Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin’s landmark The Physiology of Taste has there been a more comprehensive guide to the world of food and wine. From food history to dining etiquette to matters of taste, this practical handbook offers the basics for navigating every aspect of gastronomy, including:
· • A food timeline, from the dawn of man to the modern era
· • The importance of celebrity chef hairstyles
· • Achieving the orgasmic potential of chocolate
· • Culinary pick-up lines
· • The twenty types of offal you need to eat before you die
· • Becoming a “master baster” on Thanksgiving
· • A field guide to the modern foodie, from carniwhores to gastrosexuals
· • Essential exercises for bulking up your taste buds
· • Tips for raising a baby gastronome
· • How to prepare for a vegan apocalypse
· • And so much more . . .
Praise for Ruth Bourdain online:
“It is kind of genius. I love it. I’m a total addict. I’m hooked already and, frankly, flattered and disturbed in equal measure.”
—Anthony Bourdain, author and host, No Reservations
“I normally read him religiously. And I find him hilarious.”
—Ruth Reichl, author, former editor-in-chief, Gourmet
“A shining star out there in [the] twitterverse.”
—Tom Colicchio, chef and host, Top Chef
“Truly a scary creation.”
—Michael Ruhlman, author
Introduction x
Prologue: "From Macarons to Marrow" xii
Chapter 1 A Brief History of Gastronomy 1
A time line of highs and lows in food history, from prehistoric times to the birth of the modern era
"Ruthie & Julia" 2
The History of Gastronomy: A Time Tine 4
Chapter 2 Carniwhores, Gastrosexuals, and Curd Nerds: A Field Guide to the Modern Foodie 15
A typology of the varied species of food obsessives whom you may encounter in your culinary journeys
"A Brave New World" 16
A Field Guide to the Modern Foodie 17
Chapter 3 Navigating the Edible Industrial Complex 41
Explorations of the contemporary world of food, including the rise of the celebrity chef food trends, understanding restaurant criticism, and how to communicate with waiters
"El Bulli Death Trip" 42
The Rise of the Celebrity Chef 44
So You Want to Be a … Celebrity Chef 57
Trend Mapping: A Food Trend s Journey 58
Breastaurants: Boom or Bust? 61
How to Read a Restaurant Review 62
So You Want to Be a … Restaurant Critic 68
Deciphering the Menu 70
How to Deal with Waiters 70
Etiquette Points: The Art of Eating with Others 72
Restaurant-Speak Decoded 78
Culinary Travels: "That's Not My Risotto" and Other Local Food Idioms 79
How to Survive a Vegan Apocalypse 86
Chapter 4 The Gastronomical Me 89
How to be a gastronome, including understanding basic culinary anatomy and how to train your mind, body, and palate to optimize your gastronomical pleasure points
"A Zest for Life" 90
Food IOI: Introduction to Culinary Anatomy 92
Exercising Your Palate: Five Simple Techniques to Bulk Up Your Taste Buds 98
So You Want to Be a … Food Memoirist 100
Culinary Code: A Guide to Food Acronyms 102
Mind, Body, Palate: Gastro-Yoga with Rick Bayless 104
The Joy of Cooking: A Culinary Kama Sutra 106
The Art of Getting Gastrostoned 112
On Parenting: Raising a Gastronome 114
A Basic Guide to Portion Size 118
Me, MyPlate, and I 122
Chapter 5 Matters of Taste 127
Lessons in food and flavor, from cheese to chocolate, herbs, and meat
"Down and Out in London" 128
Cup This: How to Taste Coffee 130
Cutting the Cheese 134
All about Meat 136
Herbs for Seasoning and for Smoking 140
Pasta 2.0: New Pasta Shapes 142
So You Want to Be a … Hipster Butcher 150
Food-Safety Checklist 151
Holiday Cooking Tips: Be a Master Baster 152
Orgasmic Chocolate: From Foreplay to Climax 154
You Are What You Eat 155
Should You Eat That Chicken? A Decision-Making Flowchart 159
Chapter 6 The World of Wine and Spirits 161
The essentials of tasting wine and spirits, understanding the language of wine-speak, and pairing wine with food
"How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Hedonistic Fruit Bombs" 162
How to Taste a Glass of Wine 163
An Introduction to Wine-Speak 168
Wine Words: A Cheat Sheet 170
The Art of Wine Pairing 172
So You Want to Be a … Wine Critic 173
That's the Spirit: A Guide to the Hard Stuff 174
Some Sex on the Beach Variations 178
Cocktail Lingo: A Cheat Sheet 179
Appendix: What's Your GQ? 181
Take this simple questionnaire to find your gastronomical quotient (GQ), which measures your culinary knowledge, gastronomical prowess, and gustatory morality
Acknowledgments 191
Overview
The definitive manual for eating, drinking, and fondling food from the James Beard Award-winning Twitter sensation, Ruth Bourdain.
Twitter sensation and culinary mash-up Ruth Bourdain, winner of the 2011 James Beard Foundation Award for Humor, is your personal guide on this culinary adventure, sharing a wealth of knowledge acquired through years in restaurant kitchens, experimentation with food porn, smoking tangerine zest, and an unfortunate incident involving a durian. Along the way, Comfort Me with ...