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1. Monday, September 1—10:00 A.M. MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 1—10:00 A.M.
Lately, my little sister, Brianna, has been a

TOTAL BRAT !

Yes, she’s adorably CUTE in ponytails, ruffles, and pink Barbie sneakers. But personally, I’d rather have a BABY RATTLESNAKE as a sister.

WHY? Because Brianna and her EVIL imaginary friend, Miss Penelope, have been SNEAKING into my room and STEALING my stuff! And when I complain to my parents, they make excuses for her and lecture me about how she loves and adores me because I’m her big sister.

It’s a known scientific fact that there are over 7 TRILLION NERVES in the human body. But even MORE mind-boggling is that Brianna has managed to get on EVERY SINGLE ONE of MINE !

THIS is what I’ve been dealing with!...


BRIANNA HAD A COMPLETE MELTDOWN AND THREW A TANTRUM WHEN I DIDN’T LET HER DRAW ON MY BEDROOM WALLS....

SHE TOOK MY CELL PHONE!...


AND WHEN I ASKED HER TO GIVE IT BACK, SHE REFUSED!...


SHE RAIDED MY CLOSET AND PLAYED DRESS-UP IN MY FAVE OUTFIT....


AND SHE ALMOST RUINED MY TRIP TO PARIS WHEN SHE STOLE MY CLOTHES!...


BUT TODAY SHE DID THE WORST THING EVER! SHE TAPED A REALLY UGLY DRAWING OF ME ON MY BEDROOM DOOR!...


Like... WHO DOES THAT?!

OMG! Brianna’s CREEPY drawing is going to give me NIGHTMARES!

Okay, I’ll admit my head is slightly lopsided.

And one of my eyes is a tiny bit larger.

BUT HER HIDEOUS DRAWING IS A COMPLETE EXAGGERATION AND SO UNFAIR!

Yes, I’m a little GRUMPY sometimes.

But does THAT make me a MONSTER?!

I DON’T think so!

!