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The Emotional Intelligence Activity Book

AMACOM Books

Chapter One

EQ TARGET

X Self-Awareness and Control

X Empathy Social Expertness

X Personal Influence Mastery of Vision

OBJECTIVES

* To help participants realize the impact of their actions on different employees

* To help participants recognize the need for assessing the emotional impact of their actions before taking them

* To help leaders understand the role they have in creating an emotionally positive environment.

ESTIMATED TIME

45 minutes

MATERIALS

Emotional Intelligence Exercise #23

RISK/DIFFICULTY

Medium

COACHING TIPS FOR THE COACH/TRAINER

Newton may not have had emotions in mind when he came up with his third law of motion, which states "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." However, this often applies to human emotion. It is essential for every leader to be sensitive to and assess her actions as to the reaction that they may cause. And unfortunately, unlike the laws of nature, this assessment may have a different answer for each person involved.

However, the emotionally intelligent leader makes conscious choices on how and when she says something or does something because of the reaction that it may cause. To the emotionally intelligent leader, this thought process is almost invisible. Research shows that deliberate thinking about the effect of one's actions on the recipient is a hallmark of intelligence that is most emotional.

This exercise helps to sensitize leaders to the wide range of reactions that one simple action can cause. The intent isn't to determine if the action is appropriate or inappropriate but to realize that many interpretations of the same action may exist depending on who's doing the interpreting.

Encourage leaders to get very creative in their answers. Ask them to have fun and stretch their imagination with this exercise.

TRAINER'S/COACH'S NOTES

APPROXIMATE TIME

1. Overview

Explain to the individual or group that the more leaders 2 can be sensitive to and predict the reactions to their minutes actions, the better equipped they are to create the work environment they desire. Explain that emotionally astute leaders assess reactions prior to an action and then alter the action based on this assessment. Give personal examples of this kind of assessment, such as deciding not to tell your spouse that you have plans to go golfing for the weekend when she is complaining about how much work there is to do around the house.

2. Purpose

"The purpose of this exercise is to help you stretch 2 your sensitivity to your employees' reactions to your minutes actions. Part of what makes working with people so much fun is that unlike machines, they may have multiple reactions to the same action. The reason that it is important to be able to predict reactions is that you can alter your actions if you think it is appropriate before getting an undesirable reaction."

3. Give Directions

A. Give the participants Exercise #23. 20 B. Instruct each participant to complete the worksheet minutes by reflecting on a few recent memos, e-mails, or verbal communications that she has sent. For each action, ask the leader to imagine the many possible reactions that employees could have. Encourage participants to be creative and have fun with this exercise.

4. Debrief

Have participants, in groups of four, answer the 20 following questions: minutes

A. Why is it important to give forethought to reactions to your actions as leaders?

B. What impact could this practice have on creating a desired work culture?

C. What responsibility do you have to anticipate reactions?

NOTE: Encourage the group to recognize that this is very empowering, not burdensome. The ability to shape a work environment is contingent upon the emotional climate you can create, and this practice is central to creating a desired workplace culture.

Emotional Intelligence Exercise 23

Every action you take or don't take sends a message. Recall the last 10 memos, e-mails, phone calls, or verbal instructions that you sent to any of your employees. In the left hand column jot down the intent of each message. Using your imagination, what messages could someone have gotten that would be different from your intention. Be wild and creative. Think out of the box. Think about how the messages might have made someone feel. Write your answers in the second column.

Ex. Sent memo to I don't trust him to remind John about remember meeting. safety

He doesn't have to be responsible for his own calendar.

Safety is important.

I think he is in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease.

I'm being helpful and trying to ease his burden.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from The Emotional Intelligence Activity Book by Adele B. Lynn Copyright © 2002 by HRD Press. Excerpted by permission.
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