Table of Contents

CONTENTS 1 Collegeville, U.S.A.
Top 10 Worst Reasons for Choosing a College 2 12 Things You Probably Wish You Had Known Before You Got to College 4 7 Things About Ivy League Schools That They Don’t Want You to Know 5 17 Bizarre College Courses 6 Some Student Stats 7 5 Weird College News Items, 2003 8 8 Ways in Which the Bible Would Be Different If College Students Had Written it 9 8 Presidents Who Never Attended College 10 Top 10 TV Shows Among College Students 10 Top 10 Magazines Among College Students 10 Top 5 Newspapers Among College Students 10 The 13 Most Important Issues Currently Facing the Nation, According to College Students 11 What College Students Really Want 11 The Best Student Publications 11 The Top 12 College Radio Stations 13 2002 CBI National Student Production Award Winners for Television 15 15 College Urban Legends 16 2002 CBI National Student Production Award Winners for Radio 17 10 Haunted Colleges 20 The 25 Best College Nicknames 22 The 10 Oldest Colleges in America 23 6 Fraternities and Sororities for Gay Students 24 The 10 Most Difficult Colleges to Get Into 26 The 4 Youngest College Students 27 The 5 Most Notorious College Football Rivalries 28 The 8 Most Common College Mascots 29 Is Your College Gay-Friendly? 30 33 Successful People Who Never Graduated from College 31 14 Celebrities and Their College Majors 32 10 Famous Resident Assistants 33 24 Great Movies About College Life 34 10 College Movie Bloopers 38 Life According to the Class of 2008 40 The 7 Oldest College Graduates 41

2 College Life 101 Carpe College: The Essential 67 44 The College Students’ Bill of Rights 47 28 Things to Bring to College 50 What Your Computer Color Says About You 52 What Your Choice of Computer Font Says About You 52 Smileys 53 The 10 Biggest College Time-Wasters 54 The 8 Hardest Things About Being a Freshman 54 7 Ways to Tell Right from Wrong 55 15 Advantages to Living off Campus 56 16 Advantages to Living on Campus 57 24 Tips for Getting Along with Your Roommate 58 The Ideal Roommate for Your Astrological Sign 60 The Roommates’ Bill of Rights 61 How to Fight Fair 63 Dorm Shui: 15 Space-Saving Tips for Small Dorm Rooms 64 13 Cheap Decorating Ideas for Your Dorm 65 29 Instant Messaging Phrases 66 10 Ways to Make New Friends 67 10 Cures for Homesickness 67 18 Ways to Get More Sleep 68 17 Ways to Avoid the Freshman Fifteen—or Twenty—or Thirty 70 12 Tips for Surviving the College Cafeteria 71 How to Eat Healthy at 9 Fast Food Restaurants 72 14 Safe Snacks 74 7 Top Snack Preferences Among College Students 74 What Your Snack Preference Says About You 74 11 Meals You Can Make in a Toaster Oven 76 8 Things to Consider Before You Have a Body Part Pierced . . . 77 . . . and 7 Things to Consider If You’re Going to Do It Anyway 78 To Tattoo or Not to Tattoo 79 10 Campus Protest Hot Spots 80 How to Stage a Successful Campus Protest 82 How to Handle Racism 83 Fighting Hate on Campus 86 Greek Trivia—15 Facts 88 6 Myths (and Facts) About Hazing 89 Stop Hazing Now! 91 17 Examples of Hazing 92 4 Bad Reasons for Considering a Transfer to Another College 93 5 Good Reasons to Transfer 94 7 Students Who Learned More on Their School Breaks Than They Did in School 94 9 Good Reasons to Study Abroad 97 14 Reasons to Skip Class 98 9 Organizations That Sponsor International Volunteer Programs 99 10 Questions to Ask Before You Sign Up for an On-line Degree 101 12 College Habits That Follow You Home 102

3 Get Smart Dave Barry’s Guide to Choosing a Major 104 8 Simple Secrets of Successful Students 106 11 Great Motivators 108 How to Calculate Your GPA 109 101 Books They Expect You to Have Read by the Time You Get to College 110 How to Get the Most Out of Orientation 118 Prof Profiles 119 What You Can Learn from the Syllabus 120 15 Tips for Course Selection 121 How to (Really) Choose Your Major 122 What Your College Major (Probably) Says About You 124 5 Ways to Sleep in Class and Look As If You Are Awake 126 13 Strategies for Managing Your Time 128 7 Qualities of a Good Mentor 130 12 Common Supports for Students with Learning Disabilities 131 How to Size Up a Teacher 132 10 Things That Annoy Teachers the Most 132 How to Understand Everything the Professor Says 133 9 Tips for Meeting with—and Impressing—Your Professors 133 5 Ways to Ask a Teacher for Help 134 The 8 Links in the College Food Chain 135 9 Ways to Deal If the Teacher Hates You 136 How to Stay on Top of the Grading System 137 How to Get a Grade Changed 138 The 10 Best Excuses You Can Give Your Professor If You Get Caught Sleeping in Class 140 15 Phrases to Listen for When the Teacher Is Lecturing 140 16 Tips for Takiing Great Notes 141 10 Steps to Writing a Great Essay 142 74 Abbreviations and Symbols to Use When Taking Notes 143 11 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Turn In an Essay 145 10 Great Sources of Research Information 146 4 Ways to Avoid Plagiarism 147 How to Give a Great Speech, No Matter How Nervous You Are 148 How to Win a Debate, Hands Down 150 8 Professional On-line Homework Help Resources 151 How to Customize Your Textbook 152 How to Preread Any Book in 30 Minutes or Less 153 8 Ways to Jog Your Memory 154 12 Mnemonic Devices 155 16 Exercises for Overcoming Math Anxiety 156 The 3 Worst Places to Study 159 5 Aromas That Help Keep You Mentally Alert 159 The 4 Best Places to Study 159 If You Study to Music 160 10 Exercises You Can Do at Your Desk 161 7 Common Distractions from Studying 162 10 Study Habits That Really Work 162 How to Study 164 How to Form Your Own Study Group 165 5 Myths About Tests 166 28 Tips for Improving Your Test Score Without Even Studying 167 10 Exercises for Your Brain 168 10 Foods You Should Eat Before a Test 171 15 Tips for Reducing Test Anxiety 171 6 Aromas That Will Help You Relax 172 What to Do If You Catch Someone Cheating 174 What to Do If You Are Caught Cheating 175 How to Deal with Failure Successfully 176 What You Can Do About an F 177 30 Steps to Writing a Great Term Paper—NOT! 178 You Know You’ve Been in College Too Long When . . . 179

4 Party Hearty 11 College Pranks, from Stupid to Spectacular 182 How to Fit In Anywhere 183 10 Reasons Studying Is Better Than Sex 184 Go Greek! 184 Don’t Go Greek! 185 How to Size Up a Club 187 How to Start a Club 188 12 Ways to Make Sure Spring Break Is Fun 188 Top 6 Spring Break Locations 189 Spring Break Packing Checklist 190 10 Ways to Feel Better About Yourself—Instantly! 191 6 Ways to Tell a Friend to Cool It 192 7 Reasons Not to Drink 193 How to Drink Responsibly 194 8 Statistics About Drinking on Campus That Speak for Themselves 195 9 Hangover Cures, Just in Case You Blow It 196 10 Nonalcoholic Cocktails 196 11 Zero-Proof Games 197 15 Drugs You Shouldn’t Take (and What Will Happen If You Do) 200 College Fads Through the Ages 201 Drug Use on College Campuses 203 10 STDs and What You Should Do About Them 203 13 Ways to Get Dates 206 11 Tips for Speed-Dating 206 6 Reasons Not to Date Your Professors 207 18 Tips for Shy Students 208 25 Cheap Dates 209 Date Rape—and Beyond 210 What You Should Know About Date Rape 211 8 Examples of Sexual Harassment 212 12 Misconceptions About Birth Control 214 Sexetiquette 216

5 Practical Matters How to Make All Four Years Count 220 The ABCs of Success 224 How to Break Bad News to the ’Rents 226 The 10 Best National Discounts and Freebies for Students 228 How to Identify Scholarship Scams 229 8 Facts About the Federal Work-Study Program 230 How to Avoid Scholarship Scams 231 7 Things They Don’t Tell You About Loans and Scholarships 231 6 Kinds of College Loans 232 14 Interesting Scholarship Programs for Undergraduates That You May Not Know About 233 4 Federal Tax Credits for Students 235 10 Wacky Scholarships and Grants 236 9 Characteristics of the High-Risk Student 237 25 Money-Saving Tips for the Economically Challenged Student 238 6 Ways to Get Cheap Textbooks 239 1 Reason Not to Buy a Used Computer 241 6 Ways to Get the ’Rents to Send More Money . . . 241 . . . and 4 Ways for Them to Get It to You Fast 241 6 Tips for Finding a Job on Campus 242 5 Tips for Getting the Best Internships 242 20 Off-the-Wall Ways to Make Money 244 11 More Traditional Ways to Make Money 245 How to Balance Schoolwork and Your Job 245 10 Stain-Removing Hints 247 6 Tips for Choosing a Bank 248 9 Tips for Managing Your Checking Account 248 Glossary of College Finance Terms 249 10 Things You Should Know About Credit Cards 251 3 Alternatives to Regular Credit Cards 252 32 Dorm Safety Tips 253 22 Personal Safety Tips 254 What You Should Know About Reporting Campus Crimes 255 7 ATM Safety Tips 256 10 Signs of Depression 257 7 Ways to Handle Depression 257 5 Tips for Coping with Disaster 258 19 National Hotlines You Might Need 260 11 Laundry Tips 263 Cars on Campus 264 15 Ways to Lower Your Car Insurance Costs 264 What to Do If You Get Arrested 266

6 Brave New World: Life After College 23 Things That Will Change the Second You Graduate 268 10 Common Fears of College Grads 269 10 Questions to Ask Before You Take a Risk 270 10 Essential Tips for Networking 270 The 9 Most Common Lies Job Applicants Tell 271 18 Things You Can Do If You Just Graduated and Have No Idea Whatsoever About What You Want to Do with the Rest of Your Life 272 14 Ways to Describe Yourself 273 Graduation Etiquette 274 11 Questions You Should Always Be Prepared to Answer 275 11 Creative Things You Can Do With Your Diploma 276 Great Graduation Gifts 276 8 Ways to Make Sure Your Graduation Day Is Memorable 277 37 Great Commencement Addresses 279 Cap and Gown Trivia 284 Arguments Against Grad School 285 Arguments for Grad School 285 10 Tips for Finding the Best Graduate Schools 286 6 Reasons to Join a Professional Association 288 So You Want to Be a Philosopher 288 6 Ways to Get the Alumni Association to Work for You 289 How to Be a Good Alum 290 7 Ways to Turn Your Favorite Pastime into a Career 291 Possible Career Choices 292 How to Get a Job as a Teaching Assistant 296 How to Use the Internet to Find a Job 296 The 10 Fastest-Growing Occupations, 2000–2010 298 17 Tips for Acing Any Job Interview 299 How to Dress Like a College Graduate 300 What They’re Looking For 302 How to Ask For—and Get—Great References 302 12 Questions to Ask a Potential Employer 304 The 5 Biggest Mistakes Job Interviewees Make 304 The 6 Biggest Mistakes People Make on Their Resumes 305 7 Things to Ask for If They Won’t Meet Your Salary Requirements 306 102 Words That Will Look Good on Your Resume 307 12 Advantages of Moving Back Home 308 What to Do If You Can’t Pay Back Your Student Loan 308 9 Ways to Get Out of Repaying Your College Loan 310 4 Reasons That Stafford Loans Are Forgiven 310 You and the IRS 310 7 Steps to Establishing Credit 312 How to Scratch Your Entrepreneurial Itch 313 The 8 Most Unpredicted Living Costs 314 The 5 Biggest Surprises for Those Who Have Never Rented an Apartment Before 314 10 Clauses to Avoid When Signing a Lease 315 17 Questions to Ask When Renting an Apartment 316 3 Things to Do If You Experience Housing Discrimination 317 How to Keep Learning Forever 317 Index 319