The Clergy Self: Practices for Sustaining Relationships
Nathaniel D. West notes that clergy tend to turn to leadership models to help them deal with the intense, interpersonal nature of ministry. However, he argues, most challenges for clergy begin deep inside their own emotional lives. West highlights that clergy risk not only their effectiveness in ministry but also their own well-being, as well as emotional harm to their congregations, families, and others, whenever their emotional development is left unattended. Yet despite the psychological challenges embedded in ministry, clergy often lack accessible tools to focus on emotional growth.

The Clergy Self explores a unique set of spiritual practices that help clergy enhance their emotional intelligence from a theological perspective. The book offers practices and disciplines that empower clergy to better emotionally manage their networks of intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships, starting with how clergy understand and manage their own emotional worlds. The book starts from the practical theological ethic of self-understanding and self-love as an essential discipline for loving others through the various relationships and contexts of ministry.

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The Clergy Self: Practices for Sustaining Relationships
Nathaniel D. West notes that clergy tend to turn to leadership models to help them deal with the intense, interpersonal nature of ministry. However, he argues, most challenges for clergy begin deep inside their own emotional lives. West highlights that clergy risk not only their effectiveness in ministry but also their own well-being, as well as emotional harm to their congregations, families, and others, whenever their emotional development is left unattended. Yet despite the psychological challenges embedded in ministry, clergy often lack accessible tools to focus on emotional growth.

The Clergy Self explores a unique set of spiritual practices that help clergy enhance their emotional intelligence from a theological perspective. The book offers practices and disciplines that empower clergy to better emotionally manage their networks of intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships, starting with how clergy understand and manage their own emotional worlds. The book starts from the practical theological ethic of self-understanding and self-love as an essential discipline for loving others through the various relationships and contexts of ministry.

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The Clergy Self: Practices for Sustaining Relationships

The Clergy Self: Practices for Sustaining Relationships

by Nathaniel D. West
The Clergy Self: Practices for Sustaining Relationships

The Clergy Self: Practices for Sustaining Relationships

by Nathaniel D. West

Overview

Nathaniel D. West notes that clergy tend to turn to leadership models to help them deal with the intense, interpersonal nature of ministry. However, he argues, most challenges for clergy begin deep inside their own emotional lives. West highlights that clergy risk not only their effectiveness in ministry but also their own well-being, as well as emotional harm to their congregations, families, and others, whenever their emotional development is left unattended. Yet despite the psychological challenges embedded in ministry, clergy often lack accessible tools to focus on emotional growth.

The Clergy Self explores a unique set of spiritual practices that help clergy enhance their emotional intelligence from a theological perspective. The book offers practices and disciplines that empower clergy to better emotionally manage their networks of intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships, starting with how clergy understand and manage their own emotional worlds. The book starts from the practical theological ethic of self-understanding and self-love as an essential discipline for loving others through the various relationships and contexts of ministry.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9798889835370
Publisher: Augsburg Fortress, Publishers
Publication date: 06/23/2026
Pages: 200
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.00(d)

About the Author

As a former pastor and staff clergyman, Nathaniel D. West is a longtime servant of the local church. As a theological educator, he is currently the chair of Christian Formation at the Samuel Dewitt Proctor School of Theology at Virginia Union University. West is coeditor of From Lament to Advocacy and is a licensed professional counselor.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Clergy are inundated with models of ministry leadership. While most of these models help clergy attend to various aspects of relational life in congregations, they often fail to address the essence of the clergy person - namely who the person is. The introduction explores various psycho-theological worlds that often frame how people of faith understand themselves as well as common leadership approaches that clergy often adopt. The introduction also describes the emotional roller-coaster terrain of ministry and the perils for clergy who rely on doing-based leadership models instead of a practice of reflecting on their own emotional growth. The introduction calls for clergy to brave a paradigm shift from focusing on strategies to better help them help others—or worse, a paradigm of trying to fix others—to one that commits to their own emotional growth. Finally, the introduction outlines the book's three-part framework, which offers a developmental understanding of love—love reimagined, loving anew, and loving assured—and supports ways that clergy can develop emotionally intelligent relationships as a sustainable pathway toward healthy ministry.

Part 1: Love Reimagined

This section explores an approach toward embodied practices of love that reflect the theological ethic of love. It argues for an understanding of love as an ongoing practice of emotional growth and spiritual development and uses a theological understanding of love to explore how clergy can use such practices to navigate various complexities of clergy ministry.

Chapter 1

The Love Principle

This chapter explores definitions and understandings of love offered by bell hooks, M. Scott Peck, and Howard Thurman to establish Nathaniel D. West's own definition of love: A process that develops the inner self in ways that are continually evolving. This definition of love moves away from understanding love as an emotion or even an act or choice. Rather, the definition of love as a process emphasizes that love is a skill and an ethic—a set of principles to be practiced continually to effect one's commitment to emotional growth and development. The chapter situates such a practice of love as more aligned with the love that Jesus models. Furthermore, the chapter argues that this type of practice of love is an essential foundation for emotionally-sustainable, healthy clergy ministry.

Chapter 2

An Intelligent Way Forward

This chapter explores the often tumultuous, emotional world of ministry and frames the importance for engaging with a set of clergy practices that begins with the self. It briefly mentions the flash-in-the pan engagement of the business world with social and emotional intelligences for leadership development and how the church at times has engaged with those efforts similarly. This chapter identifies various paradigm shifts that are necessary to help clergy situate emotionally intelligent practices as a set of ongoing spiritual disciplines for ministry and why such spiritual practices are best suited for the work of ministry.

Part 2: Loving Anew

This section explores ways that clergy can learn to love afresh. In conversation with the work of Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and emotional intelligence pioneer, this section examines the foundation of emotional intelligence from a clergy perspective. Adapting the work of psychologist Reuven Bar-On, the section introduces two sets of spiritual practices for loving self and for loving others as the essence of a broader practice for loving God. The section also explores the dynamic relationship between each set of practices.

Chapter 3

Loving God: A Practice of Discovering Our Emotional Abilities

This chapter explores understandings—and misunderstandings—that many clergy hold about what it means to love God. The chapter includes the case study of Minister Douglas, who grew up embracing an understanding that taught him to love God first, love his neighbor second, and love himself last. The chapter explores how such misunderstandings about loving God relates to a clergyperson's emotional fluctuations and how those fluctuations can manifest throughout their ministry. This chapter uses the biblical narrative of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane to help clergy reflect more deeply on their approach toward a spiritual practice of loving God.

Chapter 4

Loving Self: A Practice of Self-Discovery

This chapter explores the importance of clergy serving from their authentic identity and learning to accept and embrace the core of who they as an essential part of their theological and ministry commitments. The chapter uses the case study of Pastor Jay, who felt like an imposter because much of what he did as a minister was an imitation of others, to explore a spiritual discipline of self-regard. The chapter also explores the spiritual disciplines of emotional self-awareness and emotional expression as elements of a practice of loving self. Finally, the chapter uses the biblical narrative of Jesus talking with scribes about the Great Commands to help clergy further reflect on establishing a spiritual practice of self-discovery.

Chapter 5

Loving Others: A Practice of Enhancing Relationships

This chapter explores how clergy can misjudge the ways they attend to their interpersonal relationships. Although most clergy readily affirm that all people are created in the image God, various misunderstandings about their own selves combined with ministry stressors can hinder ways that clergy affirm the imago Dei in practice. The chapter uses the case study of Pastor Karen, who is an organized, prepared, and structured leader but lacks the people skills and perspectives that help sustain loving relationships, to explore a spiritual discipline of empathy. The chapter also explores spiritual disciplines of building interpersonal relationships and social responsibility as a practice of loving others. Finally, the chapter uses the biblical narrative of the Good Samaritan to help clergy further reflect on their practice of loving others.

Part 3: Loving Assured

Continuing to use a theological lens to explore Bar-On's model of emotional intelligence, this section explores a set of spiritual practices that build on the loving anew practices. In particular, the section names determined discernment, determined courage, and determined authenticity as a set of spiritual disciplines that support clergy's emotional and spiritual growth with assurance. Yet, the section argues that growth in loving assured as well as loving anew is a non-linear process. The section deepens the book's exploration into ways that clergy can continually reimagine love as a skill and a process—ones that offer a renewable resource to sustain their emotional and spiritual practices.

Chapter 6

Determined Discernment: A Practice of Decision-Making with Emotions

Clergy, like many other professionals, have been taught to disregard emotions in their decision-making. However, ignoring and suppressing one's emotions creates additional stress that takes a toll on clergy's mental and physical health. This chapter uses the case study of Minister Tony, who grew up in a household where apathy was the order of the day regarding emotions, to explore the spiritual discipline of problem-solving. This chapter also explores the spiritual disciplines of impulse control and reality testing as a practice of using emotions to make decisions. Finally, the chapter uses the biblical narrative about Solomon's wisdom to help clergy reflect on establishing a practice of decision-making using their emotions.

Chapter 7

Determined Courage: A Practice of Embracing Challenges

Many times, clergy are shocked by the sheer volume of conflicts they encounter in ministry and can feel unprepared to manage them. This chapter uses the case study of Rev. Carol, who grew up being taught that it was a man's responsibility to handle life's difficulties, to explore the spiritual discipline of flexibility. The chapter also explores the spiritual disciplines of stress tolerance and optimism as a part of a practice of embracing challenges. Finally, the chapter uses the biblical narrative of David confronting Goliath to help clergy reflect more deeply on the practice of embracing challenges.

Chapter 8

Determined Authenticity: A Practice of Being and Becoming

The complexities of ministry often drive clergy to establish routines that can provide a sense of control over their ministry lives. Ironically, that approach also can lead clergy to become at risk for burnout when such routines lead them to simply going through the motions of ministry. This chapter discusses the case study of Pastor Robert, who gave himself totally to his ministry and lost himself in the process, to explore the spiritual discipline of self-actualization. The chapter also explores the spiritual disciplines of assertiveness and independence as part of a practice of being and becoming. Finally, the chapter uses the biblical narrative of Jesus in the wilderness to help clergy reflect on the practice of living into their authentic selves.

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