This practical guide speaks to those who are weary of formulaic faith or who are haunted by nagging doubts about the church, as well as those who find the traditional spiritual disciplines impractical or even agonizing because of their personal wiring. Easy to read but filled with challenging ideas, this book provides a spiritual foundation for pastors and teachers, committed Christians, and anyone interested in discovering God for themselves but wary of predictable paths.
This practical guide speaks to those who are weary of formulaic faith or who are haunted by nagging doubts about the church, as well as those who find the traditional spiritual disciplines impractical or even agonizing because of their personal wiring. Easy to read but filled with challenging ideas, this book provides a spiritual foundation for pastors and teachers, committed Christians, and anyone interested in discovering God for themselves but wary of predictable paths.
A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God: Spirituality for the Rest of Us
240
A Contrarian's Guide to Knowing God: Spirituality for the Rest of Us
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Overview
This practical guide speaks to those who are weary of formulaic faith or who are haunted by nagging doubts about the church, as well as those who find the traditional spiritual disciplines impractical or even agonizing because of their personal wiring. Easy to read but filled with challenging ideas, this book provides a spiritual foundation for pastors and teachers, committed Christians, and anyone interested in discovering God for themselves but wary of predictable paths.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9780735290976 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | PRH Christian Publishing |
| Publication date: | 02/20/2018 |
| Edition description: | Revised |
| Pages: | 240 |
| Product dimensions: | 5.10(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.70(d) |
About the Author
His books include: Thriving in Babylon, Accidental Pharisees, A Contrarian’s Guide to Knowing God, 10 Dumb Things Smart Christians Believe, Sticky Teams, Sticky Church, Sticky Leaders, Lead Like a Shepherd, Mission Creep, and The Unity Factor. Larry holds both a Master of Divinity and Doctorate degree from Talbot Theological Seminary. He and his wife, Nancy, live in Oceanside, CA. They have three married children and an increasing number of grandchildren.
Read an Excerpt
SPIRITUALITY FOR THE REST OF US
I ’ve noticed that much (if not most) teaching on spirituality is a lot like books I’ve read on marriage.
My wife and I always thought we had a great one until we started reading books and going to the conferences designed to tell us how to have a great marriage. We viewed our relationship as characterized by oneness of spirit, soul, and mind—a connectedness that made two truly become one. But the books and conferences informed us that we were doing it all wrong. We weren’t eating enough meals together, the TV was on too much, our date nights were far too rare, and our prayer time as a couple was sorely lacking. The message was clear: The fact that we had a strong marriage didn’t matter; how we got there was what mattered most. And we’d apparently gotten there the wrong way.
Their tools for building a great marriage had somehow become the measure of a great marriage.
And on that scale, we didn’t measure up.
COOKIE-CUTTER CHRISTIANS
When it comes to having a great relationship with God, the same thing often happens. The tools and spiritual disciplines that can help us get there frequently become an end in themselves. Books and conferences on the inner life end up presenting a cookie-cutter approach to spirituality that focuses more on the steps we take than on the actual quality of our walk with God. The emphasis of this book is that God wants a great relationship with all of us, but it can’t be found in a one-size-fits-all approach.
It’s the end result that matters, not the path we take to get there. If something produces a great walk with God for you, it’s a great path to take. If not, it’s probably a waste of time, even if lots of other folks highly recommend it. Fact is, what works for one can be worthless—even harmful— for another. The way we’re wired really matters. Whenever we project what works for us onto everyone else, we create frustration and legalism. When we let others project their stuff onto us we too often end up with unfounded guilt or a nervous twitch. Neither of which is very helpful when it comes to producing a great relationship with God.
DOES GOD PLAY FAVORITES?
As a new Christian, the more I pursued what it meant to know God and experience genuine spirituality, the more I found many of the standard answers confusing. The conventional paths to pleasing God seemed heavily tilted in the direction of certain personality types. The playing field didn’t appear to be level. I wondered if God played favorites. On the one hand, I was told that spirituality was within the reach of everyone. On the other hand, I noticed that almost all the books on spirituality and the inner life were written by introverts—smart ones at that. I got the distinct impression that God was somehow partial to reflective types with high IQs, impressive vocabularies, and lots of self-discipline. And that left a lot of us on the outside looking in.
DO GOOD READERS MAKE BETTER CHRISTIANS?
I also noticed that reading seemed to be rather important. I’m obviously not down on reading, or why write a book? But I’m not quite sure how the ability to read well became the essential tool for spiritual growth. If I want to know God and experience genuine spirituality, I’m told to read the Bible daily. If I want to grow really deep, I’m told to also read the time-honored classics written by the saints of old.
Now, I know the Bible is important; no argument there. But if daily Bible reading and mining the depths of the ancient scholars and mystics is the key to knowing God and God-pleasing spirituality, I wonder how regular folks got there before Gutenberg invented his printing press? Even more to the point, if reading skills are so vital, how can my friend Tony, who’s severely dyslexic, ever hope to know God?
DO BIBLE SCHOLARS MAKE BETTER CHRISTIANS?
I was also puzzled by our widespread emphasis on proper doctrine as central to having a good relationship with God. I want to make it clear that I personally believe theology and sound doctrine are important—incredibly important. What I believe about God has an undeniable impact on how I live. Wrong thinking leads to wrong decisions; always has, always will. But didn’t Jesus say something about the kingdom of heaven belonging to those who are like little children? If he really meant it, how does our insistence on sound doctrine being essential for knowing and pleasing God fit in with a child’s theological naiveté? Anyone who has ever been around a children’s Sunday school class knows that these kids have some pretty messed-up theology. They haven’t got a clue about propitiation, the Trinity, or any of the other important doctrines of Scripture. If asked, they’ll say the darnedest things.
But as Jesus pointed out, many of them can and do have a great relationship with God—and often, a relationship worth emulating. That’s caused me to wonder if sound doctrine is perhaps more the result of knowing and pleasing God than the primary and indispensable first step before he shows up.
WHEN THE MOLD DOESN’T FIT
Finally, I wondered why I kept running across so many godly people who felt so ungodly.
I now realize it had more to do with our faulty definitions of spirituality than anything else. In most cases, these people felt like spiritual failures not because they were far from God, but because they’d been unable to live up to generally accepted measures of spirituality.
They had stalled out in Leviticus each time they tried to read through the Bible. They were kinetic types who found extended prayer not only unfulfilling, but nearly torturous. Or extroverts who’d bought one of those fancy leather journals, but never got around to putting anything in it.
Mostly, they were regular folks who for whatever reason didn’t fit the mold too well. They tried it, but sadly found it didn’t work for them.
A CONTRARIAN’S PERSPECTIVE
As we explore what it means to know God and experience Godpleasing spirituality in a way that’s accessible for everyone, you’ll notice that we take some admittedly contrarian paths. But rest assured, they’re not contrarian for contrarian’s sake. If that were the case, they would have no value. Contrarian thinking for the sake of being contrarian is an arrogant waste of time. Claiming that the world is flat just because everyone else says it’s round is a fool’s playground. There’s nothing wrong with conventional wisdom when it’s right. And most of the time it is. But when it’s not, someone has to speak up.
Contrarian thinking at its best simply asks, Is that really true? And it speaks up when the politically correct answer or conventional wisdom doesn’t match reality—when things don’t work the way everyone says they do or thinks they do. Contrarianism also represents a much-needed form of candor. It dares to speak the unspeakable, to voice what others may have been thinking but for some reason have been afraid to say out loud. Much like a young boy standing by the roadside asking, “Why is the emperor butt naked?” That’s the kind of thinking, candor, and courage I hope you’ll find on the pages to follow. My bet is that you’ll find some of it incredibly freeing, some of it annoying, some maddening, and some of it still open to debate.
Contrarian thinking at its best simply asks,
Is that really true?
I also hope you’ll find yourself thinking more than a few times, “You know, I always thought the same thing—but I didn’t know anybody else did too.”
Table of Contents
Preface: A Different Path xvii
The Purposes and Goals of This Book
Why the New Testament was written in the street language of the marketplace
How our zeal to honor God can mess up everything
Why we keep raising the bar-and why it needs to be lowered
Part 1 Genuine Spirituality
1 Spirituality for the Rest of Us 3
What Does it Mean to Know GOD?
Why do most of the books on spirituality and the inner life make us feel so inadequate?
Does God prefer smart people who read well?
What do little children teach us about Bible scholars?
And what exactly does contrarian mean?
2 Religion or Relationship? 9
The Difference Between Religion and Relationship
The telltale marks of religion
The one and only thing all relationships have in common
What Matt's second wife taught me about God
How an old hippie, a cop, and their father reveal the essence of a great relationship with God
3 Jesus or John? 17
How Two Utterly Different People Can Both Please God
The problem with the Blank Slate Theory, and why the kids prefer Disneyland
Why John had his doubts about Jesus?
Why Jesus had no doubts about John
The one thing that matters most
4 Is It a Sin to Be Average? 25
Why Ambition Should Never be Confused with Spirituality
Why most churches and most pastors treat low-drive Christians as lasers
Why it's okay to be spiritually average-or below average
The cobbler in Corinth
The problem with drive-by guiltings
The ultimate goal of spirituality
Part 2 How Does Spiritual Growth Happen?
5 The Case for Meandering 35
The Way Most People Grow
Why linear and sequential discipleship programs so often miss the boat
How the need to grow and the need to know accelerate spiritual growth
How most people learn-what we remember and why
The stickiness factor
6 Velcroed for Growth 43
How Small Groups Change Everything
Why the primary reason to be in a small group is not what most people think it is
Velcroed for growth: What does that mean and how does it work?
The upside of peer pressure?
Three reasons why small groups make everyone more honest
7 The Dimmer Switch Principle 53
Why It's So Essential to Obey the Light We Have
The Three Strike Rule
What happens when God becomes a cosmic consultant
The Dimmer Switch Principle
How I almost stepped on a bear, and what it taught me about spiritual enlightenment
Why the amount of light we have isn't nearly as important as what we do with it
8 Inside Out 61
How the Holy Spirit Does Exactly What Jesus Said He Would Do
What the disciples didn't understand the first time
Why it's a good thing Jesus isn't here anymore
From "with us" to "in us," and why that's so important
Static on the line-and how to get rid of it
The Prayer of Permission
Part 3 What Does God Want?
9 The High Place Principle
Blind Spots-Yours, Mine, and Theirs 75
Why God so Often Blesses and Uses the Wrong People
What a chronic deceiver, a horndog judge, and a never-believe-God-the-first-time warrior had in common
Why your blinds spots don't look like a blind spot to me, and why I think my blind spots are no big deal
Solomon's big day, and why God shouldn't have shown up-but showed up anyway
10 The Mustard Seed Principle
Is Faith Overrated? 85
Why You Probably Don't Need More Faith
Can faith and doubt coexist?
Is knowledge a detriment to faith?
Why most of our definitions of faith have nothing to do with how the Bible defines it
Two examples of pretty lame faith
Mustard seeds
What getting on an airplane can teach us about faith and God
11 What's Zeal Got to Do with It?
First Love Lost 97
Why Spiritual Zeal Isn't Nearly as Important as We've been LED to Believe
Why intensity doesn't last, and why that's not a bad thing
The church that lost that lovin' feeling
The truth about David's passion and zeal
Two words that most English-speaking Christians tend to misunderstand
The kind of love God wants to see
12 Fences
Helping God Out? 107
Why Extra Rules and Regulations Undercut Genuine Spirituality
Gold-package Christians and the three things they usually share in common
Helping God out-and why the apostle Paul thought it was such a had idea
How a blustering parent's empty threats are a lot like our extra rules
A story about electric fences
A rushed baptism
Didn't God get it right the first time?
13 Best Practices Overload
Comparison's Curse 117
Why Too Many Spiritual Heroes Can Mess You Up
What happens when we try to incorporate all the best traits of all the best Christians?
A stroll down Madison Avenue
How Mother Teresa gave me a nervous twitch
What Michael Jordan's struggle to hit a curveball can teach us about God's gifts and calling
Why it's no big deal if our eyes don't hear too well
14 Gift Projection
Chocolate-Covered Arrogance 125
Why Projecting our Calling Onto Everyone Else Ticks God Off
Why we see some needs so clearly
Why others blow right past us
How did a struggle with spiritual pride ever become a badge of honor?
Why missionaries, evangelists, and Bible teachers are the worst gift projectors
Why those with gifts of helps, mercy, and administration seldom make us feel guilty
The one thing you should never feel inadequate about
15 Seeking Balance
Does God Give a Rip? 133
Why the Quest for Balance is a Goofy Idea
A friend's surprising suggestion
Wasn't Moses a little out of whack?
What about David, Jeremiah, Peter, Paul?
What if you're about to fall over?
Three important questions
The one thing God won't ask us when we stand before him-and the one thing he will
16 Why Results Don't Matter
Inner Peace, Success, and Failure 141
Why Inner Peace, Success, and Failure Can't be Trusted
Why prisons are full of people who followed their conscience
What Job's run of bad luck and Samson's run of good luck reveal about the true meaning of results
Uzziah's terrible miscalculation
Failure's biggest lie
Do valleys always mean a wrong turn?
17 Preparing the Horse
Lessons from the Unseen Realm 151
If We Can't Control Outcomes, What Should We Focus On?
My three Dark Years and what they taught me about pride
The one thing no one can control; the one thing everyone can control
The unseen realm and Joshua's peek behind the curtain
18 Tools or Rules?
Finding What Works for You 159
Why Tools for Growth Should Never be Turned into Rules for Growth
The key difference between a tool and a rule
How tools become rules
What happens when we confuse descriptions with prescriptions?
Why your church might not want to be a New Testament church after all
Why the right tool for me is probably the wrong tool for you
19 The Potential Trap
Why Being All We Can Be Might Be a Dumb Idea 169
The Truth About Unfulfilled Potential
How a great commercial ended up giving terrible advice
Why the Parable of the Talents isn't really about our talents
The compass called potential; where and what it usually points to
Why happy talk stinks
Why I stopped writing and why I'm back at it
A touching love story
20 Glass House Living
Why Accountability Groups Don't Work 181
The Best Tool for Staying on the Straight and Narrow
Why accountability groups are overrated
The one thing they do well
Why they're not very good at preventing sin
The truth about shame
Our culture's love affair with the right to privacy
The power of clear windows and an open door
Why everyone lives better when Mom's watching
21 Priority Number One?
Why Putting God First Might Be a Bad Idea 191
Putting God Where He Belongs
What does it mean to "put God first"? Why it's a bad idea
"In Jesus' name"-it's way more than the Send button for prayer
How God got stuffed into a box
Why the Enemy loves the spiritual/secular dichotomy
The truth about full-time Christian ministry
22 The Leadership Myth
How Discipleship Goes Bad 199
Why Definitions Matter
How I discovered that my favorite discipleship verse wasn't really about discipleship
The surprising truth about "secret disciples"
The reason most leaders don't know the difference between a disciple and a leader
The highest rung on the discipleship ladder isn't what most people think it is
23 Faith and Risk
The Myth of Risky Faith 207
Are Faith and Risk Synonyms?
The truth about faith and facts
Why Noah, Abraham, and Peter have more in common with a cautious fact checker than an impulsive risk taker
How God's will is a lot like an old Polaroid photograph
Why Paul kept his options open and burning the boats is a stupid thing to do
Epilogue: A Final Word
Keeping It Simple 213
What I Hope You've Gotten from This Book
How Christianity is a lot like a regulated profession
What most non-Christians don't know and most Christians no longer seem to believe
Micah's simple advice
Acknowledgments 216
Notes 218