Love is easy to give when you are getting it back. Are we still called to God’s plan of how to love when we are getting none in return? Shauna Shanks’s brave journey through obedience reveals the outcome of when we dare to follow God’s ludicrous outline for love as described in 1 Corinthians 13.
Wrecked with news of her husband’s affair and his request for a divorce, Shauna finds herself urgently faced with a decision. Does she give up and divorce her husband and move on, or does she try to fight for her marriage? The former choice seems to contradict God’s plan for how to love, such as “love never gives up,” “love is patient,” and “love is kind.”
Taking God at His word and assuming the love chapter was really meant to be followed literally word by word, she not only finds herself falling in love with her spouse again, but also falling in love with Jesus, which changes everything.
First Corinthians 13 presents an audacious, illogical, and irrational context of how to love, meant to be applied to every marital context not just the fairytale marriage. If God’s instructions seem illogical and audacious, you might just expect the same kind of results in return!
This book is not air-brushed. It was written in the midst of the author’s deepest trauma, and she purposefully did not edit out her mistakes and failures during that season. This book will resonate with women who do not feel like the picture-perfect Christian woman with the fairytale life and marriage.
A Fierce Love is the story of a train wreck and reaching out to God not in the calm but in the chaos and finding hope for the future.
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About the Author
Shauna Shanks is a wife, mother, and entrepreneur. She started Smallfolk, a health food café, out of her passion for health and fitness. She graduated from Christ for the Nations Institute in Dallas, Texas, with a focus on world missions. Shauna and her husband, Micah, who is a police officer, have been married for more than a decade, and they live with their three boys on an Ohio farm. www.shaunashanks.com
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 The Naked Man 15
Chapter 2 The Start of Death 19
Chapter 3 God Speaking 27
Chapter 4 Crushing 31
Chapter 5 The Love Filter 37
Chapter 6 Suffer the Children 45
Chapter 7 One-Way Glass 49
Chapter 8 Blatant Indifference 55
Chapter 9 Breadcrumbs 63
Chapter 10 Aaron and Hur 75
Chapter 11 Exodus 81
Chapter 12 The Power of Words 93
Chapter 13 "It's Over" 99
Chapter 14 New Mercies 107
Chapter 15 Lavish Love 111
Chapter 16 This is War 119
Chapter 17 Up and Running 127
Chapter 18 Basking 135
Chapter 19 Micah 143
Chapter 20 Bluffer 151
Chapter 21 The Pursuit 159
Chapter 22 Forgiveness 163
Chapter 23 The Golden State 169
Chapter 24 Spiritual Warfare 177
Chapter 25 A Heart of Flesh 191
Chapter 26 Intimacy 197
Chapter 27 Lord of the Ring 203
Chapter 28 Emotions 207
Chapter 29 Good Common Sense 213
Chapter 30 Immeasurably More 227
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
I had just memorized THE LOVE FILTER CHAPTER, And then to find this book. It spoke to the very core of my soul. I had experienced finding out lots of secretes about my husband of 38 year. It was about 3 years ago. I felt like the writer had literally walked in my shoes. I had determined in my heart and through Spiritual counseling to practice these principles. I had people tell me that I was not being logical. Human logic and God`s divine will are nowhere close to the same. I could not put this book down and intend to read it again.
Somewhere within the first decade of our marriage, my husband and I began to notice a disturbing trend: marriages dissolving all around us. In the church we attended at that time, three couples went their separate ways in a single year. They were active, visible members — regular attenders. We looked at each other, both deer in the headlights and knew, deep in our bones: This could happen to us, too. Shauna Shanks writes about marriage from the trenches, and A Fierce Love is a manual for marriage preservation in the wake of unfaithfulness, betrayal, and emotional abandonment, for Shauna has invited readers to witness the anguish of the days, weeks, and months that followed her husband Micah’s announcement that he wanted a divorce. The book is a record of her resolve to fight for her marriage, even though Micah gave her absolutely no hope for reconciliation. The Love Filter ” . . . this man with whom I had built a life, made promises to, and shared our children, opened his mouth and declared, “I do not love you. . . I am not attracted to you . . . I shouldn’t have married you. . . I have wasted ten years of my life with you, and I don’t want to waste any more of my time. I feel nothing for you.” And yet: God directed Shauna’s thoughts to I Corinthians 13, the love chapter, and she made a decision that her love would not be based on mere feelings. Rather than reading Paul’s words as lovely sentiment or tired poetry, for Shauna, they became a call to a fierce love — a battle cry based on the truth and a posture of grace and restraint. Instead of remorse over his sin, Micah communicated only rejection. If the marriage was to be saved, the ball was entirely in Shauna’s court, so she employed the truths of I Corinthians 13 as her Love Filter. Responding in kindness, patience, and hope while rejecting rudeness, pride, and jealousy, she was free to persevere because I Corinthians 13 love never fails. A Specific Calling Shauna is very quick to say that not everyone will be called to fight as she did, and not every marriage on a broken planet is salvageable. However, her specific calling was to hang in there, to speak only to a few very close friends about her plight, and to expend all her energy in the direction of preserving that relationship. “Second Marriage” So completely was the Shanks’s marriage transformed, Shauna speaks of their first ten years pre-crisis as their “first marriage” (even though there was no legal breach) and the time since the reconciliation as the “second marriage.” The challenge facing you and me today, then, is to reject a “first marriage” mindset and to fight each day for that “second-marriage”-level of commitment to self-giving as a rescue for a failing marriage — or as a safe guard to an already stable and healthy marriage. In reading Shauna’s courageous account of warrior-level faith, I gleaned five principles that seemed to be sign posts on her journey of fierce love: 1. Beware “blatant indifference.” The roots of Micah’s cold detachment from a ten-year marriage can be traced to his troubled childhood coupled with the distraction of a competing love, but even so, Shauna admits she, too, had been practicing some behaviors that could also be considered “blatant indifference.” Binge-watching Netflix series, failing to prioritize time with Micah, and viewing the marriage as a utilitarian childcare arrangement . . . continue reading at Living Our Days
Wow. This book. Just wow. In a world where people are throwing in the towel due to "irreconcilable differences," Shauna proves that marriage is worth fighting for. After she finds out her husband had an affair and wants a divorce, she realized she had two choices: give into her husbands demands for a divorce, or follow God's laid out description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 and try to save her marriage. Even though she realized God's definition of love was insane, she lived it out and fiercely followed after God, and found herself falling in love with her husband and her Lord all over again. This is not a sugar-coated, "and they all lived happily ever after," fairy tale story, but one of gut wrenching pain, hardship and hard work at a marriage that most people would call dunzo. Read it. It's worth every word.