Table of Contents
Acknowledgements vii
Introduction ix
Chapter 1 The Active Parent 1
Another Tough Century for Teenagers 1
The Tasks of Adolescence 5
The Purpose of Parenting 9
What Qualities of Character Are Important for Teens to Develop? 11
What Skills Will Teens Need for the 21st-century Workplace? 14
Styles of Parenting 15
Why Reward and Punishment often Backfire 20
Control versus Influence 22
Your Parent-Teen Relationship: Build It and They Will Come 23
Mutual Respect 24
The Method of Choice 25
Ethnic Identity Development 27
Drugs, Sexuality, and Violence: Storms at Sea 29
Family Enrichment Activity: Taking Time for Fun 31
Family Meeting: Choosing a Fun Family Activity 32
Home Activities 33
Chapter 1 Guide Sheets 34
Chapter 2 Winning Communication 39
The Gift of Problems 41
Who Owns the Problem? 42
Communication: The Road to Cooperation 45
Mixed Messages 46
Avoiding Communication Blocks 47
The Heartbreak of Discouragement 50
Active Communication 51
The "Palms Up" Technique 55
Self-Disclosure 56
Putting Active Communication to Work 58
Family Meeting: Getting to Know Your Teen Better 59
Family Enrichment Activity: Letter of Encouragement 60
Home Activities 63
Chapter 2 Guide Sheets 64
Chapter 3 Responsibility and Discipline 72
What Is Responsibility? 73
Effective Discipline and the Problem-Handling Model 77
Basic Discipline Methods 80
Advanced Discipline Methods 85
The FLAC Method 94
Family Meeting: Problem Solving Using the FLAC Method 96
Parenting and Anger 99
Family Enrichment Activity: Positive "I" Messages 103
Home Activities 105
Chapter 3 Guide Sheets106
Chapter 4Building Courage, Redirecting Misbehavior 110
Courage: One from the Heart 111
Self-Esteem: One from the Mind 112
The Thinlc-Feel-Do Cycle 114
Four Ways We Sometimes Discourage 119
Turning Discouragement into Encouragement 122
Self-Esteem, Courage, and Body Image 131
Understanding Teen Behavior: Purpose, not Cause 132
Five Goals of Teen Behavior 133
Positive and Negative Approaches to the Five Goals 136
How to Determine a Teen's Goal 137
Redirecting Your Teen's Behavior 138
Family Meeting: Problem-Prevention Talks 150
Family Enrichment Activity: Teaching Skills 153
Home Activities 155
Chapter 4 Guide Sheets 156
Chapter 5 Drugs, Sexuality and Violence: Reducing the Risks, Part 1 162
Drugs, Sexuality, and Violence: The Think-Feel-Do Cycle 164
Ten Strategies to Prevent High-Risk Behavior 169
Strategy #1 Model and teach positive values and choices 170
Strategy #2 Educate teens about the risks 175
Strategy #3 Filter OUT negative influences and IN positive ones 180
Strategy #4 Establish clear guidelines for behavior 186
Establishing a No-Use Rule 188
Family Meeting: Preventing High-Risk Behavior 189
Family Enrichment Activity: Expressing Love 190
Home Activities 191
Chapter 5 Guide Sheets 192
Chapter 6 Drugs, Sexuality and Violence: Reducing the Risks, Part 2 197
Drugs, Sexuality, and Violence: More Prevention Strategies 199
Strategy #5 Monitor and supervise teen behavior 199
Strategy #6 Work with other parents 201
Strategy #7 Provide healthy opportunities for challenge 202
Strategy #8 Consult about how to resist peer pressure 203
Strategy #9 Identify and confront high-risk behavior 210
Stages of Drug Use 211
Confronting Your Teen 214
Strategy #10 Calmly manage a crisis 219
Family Council Meetings 221
Family Enrichment Activity: In Our Family 224
Letting Go 225
Home Activities 227
Active Communication Activity Answer Key 228
The Active Parenting of Teens Video-Based Program 230
Resource Guide 231
