Alligators in B-Flat: Improbable Tales from the Files of Real Florida
“Jeff Klinkenberg is the ghost orchid of Florida nonfiction; an observer who prefers swamps and shadows to sunshine banalities; a prose writer of distinction whose roots seek out, then elegantly entwine, that which is fine and funny, outrageous and rare about our beloved state. Alligators in B-Flat is a virtuoso performance, and proves, once again, that Klinkenberg is among our finest writers.”—Randy Wayne White


“You read this fine writer and you stare with him into the canals for the dark shape of a manatee and listen for rumors of alligators and stand over the grave of a green snake in the yard in mourning. This is a writer who has never forgotten any of the mystery of this mysterious place, who never allowed his paradise to be paved over in concrete, at least inside his heart, and I could read him all day.”—Rick Bragg


“If Jeff Klinkenberg isn’t careful, he might give journalism a good name.”—Carl Hiaasen


“No one captures the old, secret Florida, the Florida of the swamps and forests where alligators and panthers rule, like Klinkenberg does. He uses his formidable reportorial skills to get fantastic (often hilariously funny) stories which belie the ghastly six-lane, strip-mall, gated-community, golf-course, air-conditioned, theme-parked Nature-wrecking Florida that most of its citizens know. Almost everything Klinkenberg writes is a public service as well as an enriching and educating experience.”—Diane Roberts, author of Dream State

Florida is a civilized place with eighteen million residents and all of the modern amenities one might expect: fine universities, art museums, world-class restaurants, and luxury accommodations. It is also home to panthers, bears, rattlesnakes, and alligators. In this collection of essays about Florida culture—the things that make Florida “Florida”— Jeff Klinkenberg sets his sights on the contradictions that comprise the Sunshine State.

With a keen eye for detail and a lyrical style, Klinkenberg takes us meandering through the swamps and back roads of Florida, stopping to acquaint us with the curious and kooky characters he meets along the way. These sometimes hilarious, sometimes reminiscent stories are as strange and mesmerizing as the people inhabiting this wacky peninsula. Klinkenberg is a journalist who conveys a deep fondness for his state and the curiosity behind his ongoing explorations in each story. Who else would engage a symphony orchestra tuba player to determine if bull gators will thunderously bellow back in a low B-flat during mating season (they do, but they only respond to that pitch).

Readers will join Klinkenberg as he roams through the twisted roots of past and present, describing a beautifully swampy place that is becoming increasingly endangered. The traditional ways of the scallop shuckers, moss weavers, and cane grinders in his stories are now threatened by corporate greed, environmental degradation, and mass construction. From fishing camps and country stores to museums and libraries, Klinkenberg is forever unearthing the magic that makes Florida a place worth celebrating. Join him in contemplating Florida, both old and new, a place that is as quirky and enigmatic as it is burgeoning.





 
1112423602
Alligators in B-Flat: Improbable Tales from the Files of Real Florida
“Jeff Klinkenberg is the ghost orchid of Florida nonfiction; an observer who prefers swamps and shadows to sunshine banalities; a prose writer of distinction whose roots seek out, then elegantly entwine, that which is fine and funny, outrageous and rare about our beloved state. Alligators in B-Flat is a virtuoso performance, and proves, once again, that Klinkenberg is among our finest writers.”—Randy Wayne White


“You read this fine writer and you stare with him into the canals for the dark shape of a manatee and listen for rumors of alligators and stand over the grave of a green snake in the yard in mourning. This is a writer who has never forgotten any of the mystery of this mysterious place, who never allowed his paradise to be paved over in concrete, at least inside his heart, and I could read him all day.”—Rick Bragg


“If Jeff Klinkenberg isn’t careful, he might give journalism a good name.”—Carl Hiaasen


“No one captures the old, secret Florida, the Florida of the swamps and forests where alligators and panthers rule, like Klinkenberg does. He uses his formidable reportorial skills to get fantastic (often hilariously funny) stories which belie the ghastly six-lane, strip-mall, gated-community, golf-course, air-conditioned, theme-parked Nature-wrecking Florida that most of its citizens know. Almost everything Klinkenberg writes is a public service as well as an enriching and educating experience.”—Diane Roberts, author of Dream State

Florida is a civilized place with eighteen million residents and all of the modern amenities one might expect: fine universities, art museums, world-class restaurants, and luxury accommodations. It is also home to panthers, bears, rattlesnakes, and alligators. In this collection of essays about Florida culture—the things that make Florida “Florida”— Jeff Klinkenberg sets his sights on the contradictions that comprise the Sunshine State.

With a keen eye for detail and a lyrical style, Klinkenberg takes us meandering through the swamps and back roads of Florida, stopping to acquaint us with the curious and kooky characters he meets along the way. These sometimes hilarious, sometimes reminiscent stories are as strange and mesmerizing as the people inhabiting this wacky peninsula. Klinkenberg is a journalist who conveys a deep fondness for his state and the curiosity behind his ongoing explorations in each story. Who else would engage a symphony orchestra tuba player to determine if bull gators will thunderously bellow back in a low B-flat during mating season (they do, but they only respond to that pitch).

Readers will join Klinkenberg as he roams through the twisted roots of past and present, describing a beautifully swampy place that is becoming increasingly endangered. The traditional ways of the scallop shuckers, moss weavers, and cane grinders in his stories are now threatened by corporate greed, environmental degradation, and mass construction. From fishing camps and country stores to museums and libraries, Klinkenberg is forever unearthing the magic that makes Florida a place worth celebrating. Join him in contemplating Florida, both old and new, a place that is as quirky and enigmatic as it is burgeoning.





 
19.95 In Stock
Alligators in B-Flat: Improbable Tales from the Files of Real Florida

Alligators in B-Flat: Improbable Tales from the Files of Real Florida

by Jeff Klinkenberg
Alligators in B-Flat: Improbable Tales from the Files of Real Florida

Alligators in B-Flat: Improbable Tales from the Files of Real Florida

by Jeff Klinkenberg

Paperback(Reprint)

$19.95 
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Overview

“Jeff Klinkenberg is the ghost orchid of Florida nonfiction; an observer who prefers swamps and shadows to sunshine banalities; a prose writer of distinction whose roots seek out, then elegantly entwine, that which is fine and funny, outrageous and rare about our beloved state. Alligators in B-Flat is a virtuoso performance, and proves, once again, that Klinkenberg is among our finest writers.”—Randy Wayne White


“You read this fine writer and you stare with him into the canals for the dark shape of a manatee and listen for rumors of alligators and stand over the grave of a green snake in the yard in mourning. This is a writer who has never forgotten any of the mystery of this mysterious place, who never allowed his paradise to be paved over in concrete, at least inside his heart, and I could read him all day.”—Rick Bragg


“If Jeff Klinkenberg isn’t careful, he might give journalism a good name.”—Carl Hiaasen


“No one captures the old, secret Florida, the Florida of the swamps and forests where alligators and panthers rule, like Klinkenberg does. He uses his formidable reportorial skills to get fantastic (often hilariously funny) stories which belie the ghastly six-lane, strip-mall, gated-community, golf-course, air-conditioned, theme-parked Nature-wrecking Florida that most of its citizens know. Almost everything Klinkenberg writes is a public service as well as an enriching and educating experience.”—Diane Roberts, author of Dream State

Florida is a civilized place with eighteen million residents and all of the modern amenities one might expect: fine universities, art museums, world-class restaurants, and luxury accommodations. It is also home to panthers, bears, rattlesnakes, and alligators. In this collection of essays about Florida culture—the things that make Florida “Florida”— Jeff Klinkenberg sets his sights on the contradictions that comprise the Sunshine State.

With a keen eye for detail and a lyrical style, Klinkenberg takes us meandering through the swamps and back roads of Florida, stopping to acquaint us with the curious and kooky characters he meets along the way. These sometimes hilarious, sometimes reminiscent stories are as strange and mesmerizing as the people inhabiting this wacky peninsula. Klinkenberg is a journalist who conveys a deep fondness for his state and the curiosity behind his ongoing explorations in each story. Who else would engage a symphony orchestra tuba player to determine if bull gators will thunderously bellow back in a low B-flat during mating season (they do, but they only respond to that pitch).

Readers will join Klinkenberg as he roams through the twisted roots of past and present, describing a beautifully swampy place that is becoming increasingly endangered. The traditional ways of the scallop shuckers, moss weavers, and cane grinders in his stories are now threatened by corporate greed, environmental degradation, and mass construction. From fishing camps and country stores to museums and libraries, Klinkenberg is forever unearthing the magic that makes Florida a place worth celebrating. Join him in contemplating Florida, both old and new, a place that is as quirky and enigmatic as it is burgeoning.





 

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780813061849
Publisher: University Press of Florida
Publication date: 09/08/2015
Series: Florida History and Culture
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 352
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Jeff Klinkenberg wrote for the Tampa Bay Times from 1977 to 2014. He is a two-time winner of the Paul Hansell Distinguished Journalism Award, the highest honor given by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors. He is the author of Seasons of Real Florida and Pilgrim in the Land of Alligators: More Stories about Real Florida. 

Table of Contents

Foreword ix

Preface xi

An Incomplete History of a Florida Boyhood

1 Snake 3

2 Summer of 1965 5

3 Bunny Yeager 9

Critters

4 Alligators in B-Flat 19

5 Jarhead 26

6 Sea Turtles? 37

7 How to Photograph a Panther 41

8 Save Florida, Eat an Iguana 49

Floridians

9 Thunderman 57

10 Oil Boy 63

11 Tim Chapman 67

12 Flip-Flop Man 75

13 Huckleberry's Raft 81

14 The Man Who Invented Florida 86

15 Golf Ball Diver 91

16 The Dabbler 95

17 Whitey Markle 98

18 Woo 104

19 The Worm Grunters 113

Some Places I Like to Go

20 Mack's Fish Camp 121

21 Hurricane Graveyard 128

22 Chiappini's 134

23 Cane Grinding 139

24 Honey Man 143

25 Joanie's Blue Crab Cafe 148

26 Gatorama 152

27 Orange World 157

28 Indian Pass Raw Bar 161

29 Ravine Gardens 166

30 African American Museum 170

31 Quilt Museum 176

32 University of Florida Special Collections 180

33 Bradley's Country Store 187

34 The Fort Gates Ferry 192

35 Fakahatchee Strand 196

36 Southernmost Point 202

Gone

37 The Gator Hook Lodge 209

38 Wendy Johnson 219

39 A Golfer 223

40 Baseball Betty 225

41 Conrad Yankee 229

42 Richard Coleman the Lionhearted P36

43 Wes Skiles 241

44 Bill Haast 245

45 Elmo Boone 249

46 Stetson Kennedy 253

47 Moby Dick 257

48 The Last Hamburger Joint 266

Special Folks

49 Rose Man 271

50 Boston Bill 275

51 Airboat Hero 283

52 Alligator Trapper 290

53 Scallop Shucker 297

54 Tommy Ward 301

55 A Gardener 308

56 Bouzouki Man 311

57 Moss Weaver 317

58 Mother Hodges 322

59 Chesty Morgan 330

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