Amelia, If Only

by Becky Albertalli

Overview

Amelia Applebaum isn’t in love with Walter Holland. He just happens to be her favorite moderately famous, chaotically bisexual YouTuber. Who she just happened to invite to prom. (But it’s fine. No, for real. If you delete the post, it didn’t happen.)

Okay, maybe her friends are right: She’s slightly parasocially infatuated. But Amelia just knows sparks would fly—if only she could connect with Walter for real. 

If only he would host a meet and greet. 

If only it were just a short road trip away. 

And if only Amelia could talk her best friends into making it the perfect last hurrah before graduation—even her newly single, always-cynical, guitar-toting best friend Natalie.

One thing’s for sure: All roads lead to butterflies.

But what if Amelia’s butterflies aren’t for Walter at all? 

 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780063045927
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	06/10/2025
Pages:	304
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.25(h) x (d)
Age Range:	14 - 17 Years

About the Author

Becky Albertalli is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of William C. Morris Award winner and National Book Award longlist title Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (now a major motion picture, Love, Simon); The Upside of Unrequited; Leah on the Offbeat; the Simonverse novella Love, Creekwood; What If It’s Us and Here's to Us (cowritten with Adam Silvera); Yes No Maybe So (cowritten with Aisha Saeed); Kate in Waiting; and Imogen, Obviously, a Stonewall Honor Book. Becky lives with her family near Atlanta. You can visit her online at beckyalbertalli.com. 

Editorial Reviews

04/07/2025

Amelia Applebaum is self-admittedly obsessed with YouTuber Walter Holland, who, like her, is a bisexual Jewish high school senior. Though Amelia’s friends frequently mock her for her “no-risk parasocial infatuation,” Amelia can’t help but resonate with Walter’s videos, in which he discusses how he figured out he was bi. So when she learns that Walter is hosting an in-person event at a college that’s three hours away from her Westchester, N.Y., home, she persuades her best friends—Zora and Jewish twins Natalie and Mark—to accompany her on a road trip upstate. As the story progresses, Amelia confronts her conflicting feelings for Walter (“Not quite a real crush. It’s like a pre-crush”) as well as her developing attraction to recently single Natalie. Snippets from internet chat groups, fictional Wikipedia pages, podcast transcripts, and more provide context about Walter, his fandom, and the role both play in Amelia’s life. The narrative’s focus on internet celebrity and Walter’s own challenges occasionally overshadows loyal and exuberant Amelia’s desire to figure out what—and who—she really wants in this jam-packed rom-com by Albertalli (Imogen, Obviously). Amelia and Walter are white, the twins are of Chinese descent, and Zora is Black. Ages 14–up. Agent: Holly Root, Root Literary. (June)

Publishers Weekly

Albertalli creates a realistic microcosm of queer and Jewish teen culture with no shortage of her signature humor and clever snark... The friends’ banter is warm, endearing, and relatable. Fresh and witty on the surface, tender and heartfelt at its core. — Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

From the Publisher

★ 2025-03-22
A devoted teen leads her friends on a queer pilgrimage to a celebrity event (OK—more like a post-prom road trip to a YouTuber meet and greet).

Snarky, “chaotically bisexual” Amelia Applebaum has harbored a longtime parasocial obsession with recently-gone-viral YouTuber Walter Holland. Sure, he’s a total stranger, but he’s personally responded to her social media comments not once, but twice! As senior year comes to an end, Amelia drags her three best friends—Zora and twins Natalie and Mark—to a college campus in upstate New York, several hours’ drive away from their home in Westchester, for an in-person event with Walter. Anxious about change, Amelia feels that this is an important swan song for her and her close-knit friend group before they leave for college in the fall. Amelia never expected that by showing up and meeting Walter in person, they’d end up roping him into their adventure, transforming him from unattainable crush to genuine friend. Meanwhile, her feelings for Natalie seem to be developing into something more. Albertalli creates a realistic microcosm of queer and Jewish teen culture with no shortage of her signature humor and clever snark (Amelia and Walter are white and Jewish, the Jewish twins have a Chinese dad and are implied biracial, and Zora, “the group’s token gentile,” is cued Black). The friends’ banter is warm, endearing, and relatable.

Fresh and witty on the surface, tender and heartfelt at its core.(Fiction. 14-18)

Kirkus Reviews