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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781426933677 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Trafford Publishing |
| Publication date: | 08/30/2010 |
| Pages: | 140 |
| Product dimensions: | 8.25(w) x 11.00(h) x 0.30(d) |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
As I Remember in Poetry and Prose
By Natalia Finocchiaro
Trafford Publishing
Copyright © 2010 Natalia FinocchiaroAll right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4269-3367-7
Chapter One
A Letter Never Sent—1962
Dear friends back home, I write to you with sadness in my heart, and happiness too. It's gray out here. It's all cement around; no mountain or trees out here, no flowers to be picked, no wild grapes, no trails to walk so free to near and far, no water from ancient springs that's cool and clear to quench your thirst on hot summer's days. It is all gray, my dearest friends; why was I brought out here?
There is sand and ocean near my house where I do live. I walk long walks collecting shells, and only when I don't work, I miss you all. The flower, dearest friend, I miss you most, the nights we sat under the starry skies in conversations, the long card games and dances at the club and dancing in the streets, and most of all I miss the warm desert breeze, but I must confess something I must not withhold from you—I was introduced to someone new today.
Tall, black haired, blue eyes, and of fair skin he is, a god, believe me when I tell you, a god he is. His name is strange; it's after a false saint, it is. I should have bowed to him but I have only stretched my hand.
1964 to 1972
To school I have returned in morning but new.
An artist I'll be; my dream will come true.
To an island I'll sail like Gauguin and I'll paint;
To Provence and to Spain and I'll just paint and paint
and one day a new student came in, a former cadet,
fairer than fair was he, big brown eyes had he.
Chums we became and running around we did
and dating we started bit by bit like new.
Somehow I overcame fear of abandonment now.
Lovers and friends we became, jealously guarded my game.
A miracle happened once more in my life.
He stood and declared as proud as could be, It is I, the father to be,
Gallant, my fair knight was he in his youth.
I dressed in a light blue lacy dress; he gave red roses to put.
Not to church we did go, but to the reverend's house,
black reverend blessed us in union and peace be our way.
A pretty ring was put on my finger that day and we kissed.
The papers were signed and handed to me.
A feast we had like Vikings on a wedding day on lobster and beer.
We lived in great peace harmony and friendship.
The papoose was with us far and near as we went our way.
The buttercup flower was I, and morning dew, too
until one day he decided to fly and spread wings,
wings of a plane that he followed some of his own that he grew.
I touched some else's arm by mistake and suddenly all was new.
Another bonnet, this time a green one with wings,
A green uniform, but he had a plaid pleated skirt too, and a crest.
The only sad part, that I knew he belonged to someone I knew.
My mind was a torch and started too long for someone.
The love that I once knew, he never left my mind or heart.
I blamed everyone. I cried, I got sick, I drank, and I left,
but the love never left. Into a hospital I was put.
For a summer I stayed. I forgot what I was or even who,
and now I was all over new like someone else.
The only one whom I knew was my son whom I loved.
No memories, no pain. To work once again I went,
dated here, dated there, but no one to love that I knew,
no love in my heart, in my mind, no love for anyone.
Sometimes I recollected black hair and blue eyes
in a light manner that was strange and new for the most part,
and slowly it crept—not the languages I lost
but the image I knew would make my heart beat faster.
But why I would think some things are so strange?
I started to think of the god that I met and once I knew.
The Miserable Ones
Greed, greed
Hate, hate
Envy, envy
These are the ruts of a miserable family
They dwell upon this earth among us
Unnoticed by most
Their hearts ache
Their souls tormented
To no avail
All else blamed for their unhappiness
They point discriminating finger and accusing eyes
Not only to those who are content without life's riches
But for those who have as well
They sit and wait and dwell in misery
That they create themselves
Tormented souls
Tormented minds
You are the vermin upon this earth
Not God's creation!
But your own
This life you live in rot
Wishing hate and misfortune to those you choose to envy
Will only bring misfortune upon your family
Make haste to make peace upon your souls
Or all your life is lost in eternal limbo
Tormented souls
Tormented bodies
Lost for all to see
But you yourself that love to dwell in such unhappy miseries
Create your own hell for all eternity
1986
The Promise
Let your future shine
Like the sun in June
Let there be no tears or fears
If you believe me,
It will pass just like all the winds
Chin up, head up
The future is for you
It's full of hopes and promise
There is no place on earth like here
Reach out as far as there,
But never say where
Just stride ahead
And your reward be gladness
It's sunshine all the way
Believe me, I went that way
1986
It's Only the Beginning
Stretch your arms
Straighten your knees
Foot ahead in front of me
Listen carefully; hear it all
Some may wish and want your fall
But keep that foot ahead of all
Think and listen
Look around
Feel
Make your move ahead so sudden
Like the thunder in the sky
Let them all see your stars
Grab your fortune
Let it shine
Youth has it all in mind
Don't look behind!
1986
Colors
My colors have been stolen
I don't know how, but they are gone
No one understands that I have lost my colors
My mind is a scramble—I must find all my colors
Who has stolen all my colors?
A tragedy occurred—I'm without my colors
I can't function—now my mind is a scramble
Where am I right now without my colors?
No one understands that I haven't got my colors
Who am I to accuse for stolen colors?
I must have my colors or I'll die
If you stole my colors, give them back to me
Without the colors I can't function well
My life revolves around colors
I must have my colors back or else
Please return all my colors or I'll die
My mind is inflamed with madness
Who has stolen all my color?
There is nothing left for me to do
I'm going mad without my colors
Madness has set in without the colors
I must have my colors back or I will die
Madness has set in while I'm looking for my colors
My mind is aflame—I'm going mad without the colors
Fire
My prince, my knight
Give me fire, fire, fire
I shall give you all desire
My prince aglow
My knight afire
Where has gone that cruel desire?
Give me fire, fire, fire
I shall give you all desire
All the youth that's gone aflame
All desire gone in vain
1986
The Hill of Peace
The hill of nothingness
The hill of peace and sleep
The hill of nothingness
Where dead are laid asleep
High up in the mountain
Where dead are laid at peace
Imposing birch trees overlooking all
They stand like guards
Like faithful soldiers on that hill
Reminding us of all that was and gone
The hopes, the pain
The laughter of years gone by
Someone had placed a flower
Someone had spilled a tear
The dead are sleeping in their peace
The living cry and hope
That no one will place them on the hill of nothingness
They leave in hopes of living for eternity to come
The birch trees know and wait
Silently they stand
Just waiting for someone to greet
The peaceful sleep—forever is so silent
You only hear the wind
1986
A Job at a UN Party in Jerusalem
Fifteen I am; a job I got, exciting job I got—a job to tend a bar and drinks to mix, just drinks—no mingling, no talking to the men, not one—just pour the liquor into glass at their request. Just pour it over ice or put some water tonic soda. No talking to the men I'm told, no talking to anyone. A job so easy for peace, a party, a party for good cause. All men, no ladies hanging on their arms to be held. A room, a separate room for drinks, where I have to stay alone. The men come in, I pour, and they depart to mingle.
A job I got, so cool, a bar maiden I am tonight. Behind a table I am standing while I pour the drinks. A tall man—blue eyes, dark-haired—approached with a smile.
Scotch please I'm told just ice please and he points. White shirt blue stripes no tie; a button is unbuttoned. How old are you? Fifteen I am, I tell with pride. Another man approaches—gin please, ice and tonic. A smile; How old are you? the other gentleman had asked.
Fifteen she is, a job she got, just for tonight, no hands. The other man just looks—white shirt, a tie, he smiles. No mingling, I say, fifteen she is, let's go inside right now. A smile from blue eyes, a second look at me, a nod. Fifty-four I am and I remember you, the smile and the nod, the white shirt blue stripes the top button undone short glass in hand, the noise from the inner party room—alone I stood, the music played.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from As I Remember in Poetry and Prose by Natalia Finocchiaro Copyright © 2010 by Natalia Finocchiaro. Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
A Letter Never Sent—1962....................11964 to 1972....................2
The Miserable Ones....................4
The Promise....................5
It's Only the Beginning....................6
Colors....................7
Fire....................8
The Hill of Peace....................9
A Job at a UN Party in Jerusalem....................10
The Red Ruby....................11
My Creative Soul is Misunderstood....................12
My Beloved King of Kings....................14
Touched with Fire....................15
Memories of my Mother in India....................16
To Sleep to Sleep to Sleep....................17
Tears, Streaming Tears....................18
Four Yellow Beeswax Candles....................19
Peonies....................20
Baptism of my Granddaughter....................21
I Cry in Silence....................22
I Hear Voices in Silence....................23
Union Square Triangular Garden....................24
Three-year-old Remembrance of a Round House....................25
Love Abounds....................26
The Mind Fixer....................27
Baptism of my Grandson....................28
Stained Soul....................29
In a Hospital....................30
Someone's Pain I Felt....................31
Red....................33
Pelentown Cemetery....................34
Innocence Lost....................35
Memories of the Poet I Met....................37
Dedicated to my Father Whom I Did Not Know....................38
Berlin Wall....................39
White Roses in a Silver Vase....................40
Dear Friends....................41
Enchanted....................42
Dedicated to George Finocchiaro....................43
Farwell to Bridget....................44
I Am a Russ....................45
Hydrangea Bush....................46
The Birth of Vlademar....................47
My Anger Directed at You....................48
Pain of Spirit and Soul....................49
Prince of Darkness....................50
China....................51
Bali....................52
Paradise Found and Lost....................53
Wondrous Wonder in My Life....................54
Lamenting....................55
Lamenting Two....................56
You Could Have Been My Sunshine....................57
The Love of Two Sons....................58
I am the Sun....................59
To my Beloved....................60
Sun's Explosion....................61
For Natasha....................62
Anger at Liars....................63
Illusions and Disillusions....................64
Inspiration from Someone's Love....................65
Unquiet Moments....................66
Dearest of Them All....................67
Christmas 2002....................68
Ray....................69
Season's Greetings....................70
Happy New Year....................71
Frustration....................72
Dead Inside....................73
Black Hole....................74
Summer's Love....................75
Missing my Love....................76
Where Are You....................77
The Firefly....................78
A Thought of God....................79
Waiting for Spring....................80
Yearning for Better Times....................81
Whispers....................82
The Medallion....................83
Giving up Smoking....................84
Happiness....................85
Unhappy....................86
I Hate Risperdal....................87
To Live or Die....................88
No One to Love....................89
Loneliness....................90
Feelings....................91
A Chapter is Closing....................92
Farwell, Mama....................93
Harsh Voice....................95
I Cry in Silence....................96
A Friend for a Day....................97
Cindy....................98
When I am Lonesome....................99
Before The Inheritance....................100
The Birthday....................101
Pumpkin Soup on Canvas....................102
I Woke Up Again....................103
God's Gift....................104
Little Hands Holding a Peach....................105
The Butterfly....................106
Ode to Dr. David Roane....................107
I Must Go First....................108
Jill....................109
My Grandson Karl....................111
I Know a Woman Named Mila....................112
Dr. Blye....................113
My Friend Victoria....................114
No More Sorrow for Myself....................115
Red Wine....................116
My Only Brother, Sergei....................117
Granddaughter Natasha....................118
There is a Girl I Know....................119
The Song....................120
My Cousin, My Sister Lydia....................121
Fall....................122
A Contradiction....................123
My Argument about a Saying....................124
Adieu....................125