Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

by Amy Chua

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Overview

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua

“[E]ntertaining, bracingly honest and, yes, thought-provoking.”The New York Times Book Review

At once provocative and laugh-out-loud funny, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother ignited a global parenting debate with its story of one mother’s journey in strict parenting.  Amy Chua argues that Western parenting tries to respect and nurture children’s individuality, while Chinese parents typically believe that arming children with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence prepares them best for the future.   Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua’s iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, the Chinese way – and the remarkable, sometimes heartbreaking  results her choice inspires.  Achingly honest and profoundly challenging, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is one of the most talked-about books of our times.

“Few have the guts to parent in public. Amy [Chua]'s memoir is brutally honest, and her willingness to share her struggles is a gift. Whether or not you agree with her priorities and approach, she should be applauded for raising these issues with a thoughtful, humorous and authentic voice.” –Time Magazine

“[A] riveting read… Chua's story is far more complicated and interesting than what you've heard to date — and well worth picking up… I guarantee that if you read the book, there'll undoubtedly be places where you'll cringe in recognition, and others where you'll tear up in empathy.” –San Francisco Chronicle

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother hit the parenting hot button, but also a lot more, including people's complicated feelings about ambition, intellectualism, high culture, the Ivy League, strong women and America's standing in a world where China is ascendant. Chua's conviction that hard work leads to inner confidence is a resonant one.” –Chicago Tribune

“Readers will alternately gasp at and empathize with Chua's struggles and aspirations, all the while enjoying her writing, which, like her kid-rearing philosophy, is brisk, lively and no-holds-barred. This memoir raises intriguing, sometimes uncomfortable questions about love, pride, ambition, achievement and self-worth that will resonate among success-obsessed parents… Readers of all stripes will respond to [Battle Hymn of the] Tiger Mother.” –The Washington Post

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780143120582
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 12/27/2011
Pages: 256
Sales rank: 63,043
Product dimensions: 5.00(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.80(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Amy Chua is the John M. Duff Professor of Law at Yale Law School. Her most recent book (co-authored with Jed Rubenfeld) is The Triple Package: How Three Unlikely Traits Explain the Rise and Fall of Cultural Groups in America, published in February 2014 by The Penguin Press. Chua's first book, World on Fire, was a New York Times bestseller and selected by The Economist as one of the best books of 2003; while her second book, Day of Empire, was a critically acclaimed Foreign Affairs bestseller. Chua lives with her husband, two daughters, and two Samoyeds in New Haven, Connecticut.

Read an Excerpt

This is a story about a mother, two daughters, and two dogs. It's also about Mozart and Mendelssohn, the piano and the violin, and how we made it to Carnegie Hall.
(Continues…)



Excerpted from "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"
by .
Copyright © 2011 Amy Chua.
Excerpted by permission of Penguin Publishing Group.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Part 1

1 The Chinese Mother 3

2 Sophia 6

3 Louisa 10

4 The Chuas 14

5 On Generational Decline 20

6 The Virtuous Circle 25

7 Tiger Luck 30

8 Lulu's Instrument 35

9 The Violin 42

10 Teeth Marks and Bubbles 50

11 "The Little White Donkey" 60

12 The Cadenza 64

Part 2

13 COCO 77

14 London, Athens, Barcelona, Bombay 85

15 Popo 93

16 The Birthday Card 102

17 Caravan to Chautauqua 10s

18 The Swimming Hole 114

19 How You Get to Carnegie Hall 121

20 How You Get to Carnegie Hall, Part 2 130

21 The Debut and the Audition 137

22 Blowout in Budapest 144

Part 3

23 Pushkin 157

24 Rebellion 167

25 Darkness 176

26 Rebellion, Part 2 179

27 Katrin 185

28 The Sack of Rice 190

29 Despair 194

30 "Hebrew Melody" 198

31 Red Square 202

32 The Symbol 207

33 Going West 210

34 The Ending 216

Coda 223

Afterword 231

Acknowledgments 241

Notes 243

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is the book we've all been waiting for - a candid, provocative, poignant and vicarious journey through the Chinese- American family culture. It will leave you breathless with its bluntness and emotion. Amy Chua is a Tiger Mother, a greatly gifted law professor and, ultimately, an honest, loving woman with a lot to say."
-Tom Brokaw

"This is one outrageous book, partly thanks to Amy Chua's writing style - Chua is pugnacious and blunt, with an unerring nose for the absurd ...The cultural divide Chua so brilliantly captures is one we stand to witness more and more in our globalized age, after all; and what with Asia and Asian achievement looming ever larger in the American imagination, the issues inherent in Battle Hymn are as important as they are entertaining... I was riveted by this book"
-Gish Jen, The Boston Globe

"Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother did more than speak to me. It screamed, shouted and lectured me. It made me simultaneously laugh with empathy and cringe with embarrassment and exasperation... Charming... Self-effacing... Guffaw-inducing"
-Terry Hong, San Francisco Chronicle

"Readers will alternately gasp at and empathize with Chua's struggles and aspirations, all the while enjoying her writing, which, like her kid-rearing philosophy, is brisk, lively and no-holds-barred. This memoir raises intriguing, sometimes uncomfortable questions about love, pride, ambition, achievement and self-worth that will resonate among success-obsessed parents... Engagingly and provocatively chronicled. Readers of all stripes will respond to [Battle Hymn of the] Tiger Mother.
-Elizabeth Chang, The Washington Post

"[Chua's] writing is smart and lively"
-Entertainment Weekly

"Chua's mindset and methods-bolstered by faith in Chinese family tradition-pose a useful challenge for an era haunted by a helicoptering ethos as hard to shake as it is to like. Here is an alternative to the queasy hypocrisy of typical hyperparents, buffeted by shifting expertise that leaves them anxious about overpressuring even as they push. Chua breaks through all that. She is a crusader invigorated by practicing what she preaches: the arduous work she believes necessary to do anything well, child-rearing included... But precisely because Chua slaves away as hard as her girls do, one thing her program is not is guilt-inducing. In the end, her ordeal with Lulu teaches Chua humility and proves her daughter's very healthy autonomy-and inspires next to no regrets."
-Slate.com

Tom Brokaw

"Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is the book we've all been waiting for—a candid, provocative, poignant and vicarious journey through the Chinese-American family culture. It will leave you breathless with its bluntness and emotion. Amy Chua is a Tiger Mother, a greatly gifted law professor and, ultimately, a honest, loving woman with a lot to say."
—Tom Brokaw

Reading Group Guide

INTRODUCTION

Amy Chua only wants the best for her children. For her, that means bringing them up the way she was raised as a first generation Chinese American, with Chinese values and a strict set of rules. Her husband Jed is from a liberal Jewish background and grew up with parents who encouraged individual choice and independence. Together they agree on raising their children the “Chinese way”—arming their daughters for the future with discipline, hard work, a sense of accomplishment, and respect for their elders. The highly accomplished lawyer, professor, and author sets about her child–rearing with the same single–minded drive and determination that got her into Harvard and Harvard Law School.

Chua’s hands–on Chinese model works beautifully with her older daughter Sophia. Sophia is a natural, inquisitive student and a fast learner. From an early age, she excels at piano, playing at Carnegie Hall when she’s only in eighth grade. While she recognizes that she’s different from her peers, she seems to take her mother’s rules in stride. Lulu, Chua’s second daughter, is a very different story. Born just as three–year–old Sophia began taking piano lessons, Lulu proves to be equally talented in both academics and music, “but instead of her success producing confidence, gratitude toward parents, and the desire to work harder, the opposite happened. Lulu started rebelling . . . against everything [Chua had] ever stood for” (p. 168). This only makes Chua more determined to push onward, which in turn amplifies the tension in their household, producing a true battle of wills. Chua will eventually be forced to evaluate her choices to be a tiger mother and reconcile the daughter she has with her own expectations.

Brutally honest and fiercely determined, Chua’s memoir raises questions about traditional approaches to parenting in the twenty–first century, the inevitable clash of cultural attitudes in a multicultural society, and how to best prepare children to succeed in an increasingly complicated world. As she investigates her own assumptions, Chua is unafraid to poke fun at her flaws, yet she articulates her convictions with passion and precision. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is a funny, serious, smart read that is as entertaining as it is thought–provoking.

 


ABOUT AMY CHUA

Amy Chua is the John M. Duff Professor of Law at Yale Law School. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller World on Fire: How Exporting Free Market Democracy Breeds Ethnic Hatred and Global Instability and Day of Empire: How Hyperpowers Rise to Global Dominance—and Why They Fall. She lives with her husband, two daughters, and two Samoyeds in New Haven, Connecticut.

 


A CONVERSATION WITH AMY CHUA

Q. In your introduction you note that this was supposed to be a book about parenting and it evolved into a different sort of story over time. Can you talk about the book’s evolution? What surprised you in the process of writing it?

I’m embarrassed to say that I intended Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother to be much more literary, the farthest thing from a parenting guide! It’s actually a pretty complex book, and I was hoping that readers would appreciate its humor and irony. Believe it or not, the models for my book were Dave Eggers’s A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and David Sedaris’s Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim—both books with unreliable narrators. The narrator of my book is a patently flawed character—initially obtuse, boastful, outrageously overconfident—who goes through a crisis and transformation. Much of the book is self–parody. For example, there’s one part when I’m talking about my dog, and I say, “I had finally come to see that Coco was an animal.” Anyone who read that line straight must have assumed that I had pretty low cognition skills!

Q. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is a departure from your other books, which are more focused on politics and history. What made you decide to write something so personal?

Actually, I wrote this book in a moment of crisis, when at age thirteen my younger daughter, Lulu, rebelled against my strict parenting and seemed to turn against everything I stood for. Around the same time, my younger sister, Katrin, got leukemia and had to have a bone marrow transplant. Her kids were just ten and one at the time. It was the darkest two years of my life, and for the first time, I began asking myself, “Have I done everything wrong?” After one terrible public fight with Lulu—the culminating point of the book, which takes place in Red Square, Moscow—I suddenly realized I might lose my daughter. And when it hit me that way, I didn’t care a bit about school or violin; I just wanted to keep my daughter. So I pulled back—not entirely, but we sat down and talked, and a lot of things changed. Anyway, the day after the blowup in Red Square, I sat down at my computer, and even though I usually have writer’s block, this time the words just poured out—I wrote the first two thirds of the book in two months. I showed every page to my daughters and my husband. It was like family therapy. In retrospect, I think writing the book—going back eighteen years to when my eldest daughter was born and I was a very different person—was an attempt to put the pieces back together and work things out for myself.

I did eight years of academic research for my first book, World on Fire, and five years of research for Day of Empire. I did zero research for Battle Hymn—it came from a completely different place.

Q. What were some of the challenges of putting your family relationships on paper?

Because I wanted to clear every line of the book with my husband and both daughters, there were four separate sets of memory to accommodate, so we’d often argue over the facts, then I’d have to revise to reflect everyone’s comments. It wasn’t always easy, but the experience—which also included a lot of nostalgia and laughter—really did bring my family together.

My husband—who has a very strong personality—also told me that he didn’t love being a character in someone else’s book, so he asked me to keep him mostly in the background. But if you read between the

lines, what should come through is how central he was to everything and how he dealt with my excesses—supporting me in front of the girls, advising (sometimes challenging) me behind the scenes, and bringing balance to the family.

Q. You’re very honest in these pages about your own flaws. How do you imagine your readers view you, and what image do you hope they will take away from this book?

Some people will of course disagree with me, but I also received hundreds of e–mails from people—of all backgrounds, from all over the world—who wrote to say that my book made them laugh, cry, and understand their own families better. And this made everything worth it, and helped carry me through some of the rougher periods.

Some of the most touching emails I received were from people who had grown up with a tiger mother. For example:

When I read your book, I cried because I know how painful it is to be forced to such an extreme. But mostly, I cried because I recognized what my mom went through to shape me into the person I am today—the infinite hours she spent sitting through all my practices, teaching me lessons beyond my grade level, and endlessly arguing for my benefit. My mom endured my hatred and made sacrifices I can never make up to her. And, in spite of everything, she has always given me her unconditional love and patience. Reading this now makes me recall all those bittersweet moments that ultimately built my character.

It was also fun to hear from tiger parents and tiger cubs of all stripes:

OMG your book had my mom and I rolling on the floor! I’m Pakistani American, and I was the “Lulu” in our family. My mom just said, “Everyone needs to be called katchra once in a while.”—katchra being the Urdu word for garbage. I can’t even count the number of times my father and mother called me katchra, and somehow I have escaped with amazingly (astoundingly, even) high self–esteem.

But my favorite e–mails may have been from non–tiger mothers like this one:

As one of those weak Western moms who doesn’t ban her kids from most activities and thinks a B+ is acceptable, I read your book and immediately recognized a kindred spirit. I appreciate your honesty about your struggles as a parent. As I am in the midst of dealing with my younger son’s teenage rebellion, I can tell you that your book was a comfort and a joy to me.

Q. Your daughters were deeply involved with music throughout their childhoods. What sort of life lessons do children get from learning to play music at a young age?

I definitely think that learning music can help instill a strong work ethic, self–discipline, and focus in children—skills that are particularly important in this age of constant media distractions. But for me, music really wasn’t so much about preparing my kids for the future—I didn’t think of it strategically. Both the piano and the violin are capable of producing such beauty, something deeper and more meaningful than watching television or surfing the Internet for ten hours. I think both my daughters would agree with me on this one.

Q. The chapter devoted to your sister Katrin’s illness introduces a new element and mood into your writing. How, for you, did this chapter change the narrative?

For me, Katrin’s illness was cataclysmic and horrible—talk about suddenly questioning all of one’s priorities. And it raised what may be the book’s central theme. The last lines of the book are:

Given that life is so short and fragile, surely each of us should be trying to get the most out of every breath, every fleeting moment. But what does it mean to live life to its fullest?

We all have to die. But which way does that cut? In any case, I’ve just told Jed that I want to get another dog.

Q. You state that you’re “not good at enjoying life” (p. 97) and most of your attention in raising your children seems to be focused on the future. Do you see this as a positive or negative attribute, and is it something you see in your daughters?

I’m definitely a Type A person and not so good at “living in the moment”—I don’t like spas or massages, I always have a long list of to–dos, and I can only take in the beauty of a sunset for so long. But that doesn’t mean I’m not a happy person. On the contrary, I have a lot of fun. I love throwing big parties (you should have seen Sophia’s sixteenth birthday party; Lulu’s is around the corner), going out to dinner with friends, and traveling with my family to new places. Also, this may surprise people, but my daughters think of me as a kind of zany person. They are much more scared of their father!

If I could push a magic button and choose either happiness or success for my children, I’d choose happiness in a second. But I don’t think it’s as simple as that. I don’t believe that if parents let their kids do whatever they want, their kids will be happier. In America today, many parents are very permissive. Yet we have disturbingly high rates of teenage depression, anxiety, and low self–esteem. It’s also not a formula for happiness for kids to grow up and not be able to find a job as an adult.

Q. There’s a lot of discussion of what has changed between the generations of your family. What values would you like to see passed on and what would you like to see evolve in the next generation?

Both Sophia and Lulu were asked in an interview by The Guardian (London) what kind of parents they would be when they grew up. To my surprise, they both said they would be strict parents (although both said they would allow a few more playdates). I couldn’t believe my ears when Lulu told the reporter, “My mom and I have fought a lot. But I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it weren’t for her. And I wouldn’t like that.” At the same time, both Sophia and Lulu are much more public service–oriented than I am, and I deeply admire that. For understandable reasons, first–generation immigrants tend to focus mainly on their own family and the future of their children. I think it’s a wonderful thing that subsequent generations tend to be more community oriented and interested in helping others and giving back.

On the other hand, I worry all the time about raising spoiled, entitled children. “Not on my watch!” I write in my book. I believe that kids with a sense of responsibility, who know when to experience gratitude and humility, will grow up to be less selfish, better–adjusted, and happier adults.

Q. Have you found the act of writing about your family’s life has brought you closer to them or illuminated certain aspects of your life that you wouldn’t have considered beforehand? If so, in what ways?

Writing the book definitely brought my family closer. I think Sophia and Lulu were better able to understand what was going through my head when I was say, chastising them for a bad grade or arguing for another hour at the violin. And I got a better sense of how they experienced things. But perhaps what surprised and touched me the most was how my whole family rallied around me when the global firestorm broke out. So many other teenagers might have been resentful or angry at all the harsh media attention directed at our family. But not Sophia and Lulu—I got so lucky! At the height of the tsunami Sophia published a letter in the New York Post defending me, which was so mischievously witty and lighthearted that I think it turned the tide of public opinion. Lulu, meanwhile, edited all my op–eds, searched the Internet (which I couldn’t bear to look at) for the few rare nice comments, and texted them to me with messages like, “Here’s a good one, Mommy! Some people like you!”

Q. What are you working on now? Do you have plans to write more memoirs?

I do indeed have another book in the works! But it’s a secret for now. Stay tuned.

 


DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  • In the beginning of her book Chua describes her daughters’ personalities from birth. In what ways are they inherently different from one another?
  • Chua identifies herself with her Chinese zodiac sign the tiger. How does she exemplify its characteristics? Are there any ways in which she might defy those characteristics? Can you relate to your own zodiac sign?
  • What role does music play in Chua’s life as compared to her children’s lives? And does music play such an important role in your own life?
  • How is Lulu and Sophia’s childhood different from their mother’s, as Chua describes them? Do you see similarities and differences in your own childhood?
  • Never a pet lover, Chua reluctantly ends up raising two dogs, Coco and Pushkin. How do the dogs change her, and what does she learn from them?
  • What do you think about Chua’s relationship with her younger daughter, Lulu? How do they push each other’s buttons?
  • Chua only intermittently discusses her husband’s opinions, but mostly keeps him out of her memoir. What can you glean about him from these pages?
  • If you could ask Chua one question, what would it be?
  • At the end of the book Chua expresses some regrets about her choices. What does she regret and how do you imagine she might do things differently, given the chance?

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Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother 3.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 614 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love love love this book! I know it's been controversial, but those that hate this book are simply threatened by it. As a woman raised by the quintessential "chinese" mother (although she was polish, and had never even been to china), I completely agree with Chua's perspective on child-raising. As she so correctly notes, while the "chinese-mother" school of child raising can mean your child and you have storied pitched battles throughout their childhood, if done correctly (with the deep love and humor both Chua and my own mother have with regard to their children), it results in accomplished, satisfied, and stable adults who genuinely love and respect their parents for the incredible effort and love put into raising them. My own anecdoctal evidence supports this conclusion: I find that I have a much healthier, closer and more enjoyable relationship with my mother, as well as to myself, than many of my friends and acquaintances raised by the traditional "american" model of permissive parents afraid to say "no" for fear of damaging their allegedly delicate self-worth. The delightful thing about Chua's book, however, is that it is not simply a dry manifesto about the virtues of raising children the "Tiger" way. Rather, she intervenes her delightfully personal, honest story with comments showing her ability to both laugh at herself and learn from her mistakes (which, as any parent knows, are unavoidable in some degree!). Even for those of you that won't gasp with recognition at some of Chua's stories, it is a delightful book which is absolutely worth reading with an open mind, especially if you have children or plan to have children.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
For readers, some people on here aren't very observant. This is a MEMOIR, not a self-help book on how to raise children. I knew that it was a memoir before I read it, but I also read her interview in Oprah magazine. She doesn't want to insult Western cultures and our way of child rearing, but it is very interesting to see her side, how she was raised, and how she raised her children. Once again, it's a MEMOIR, and take it as that and leave it. Not everyone agrees how to raise their child, and parents dislike unsolicted advice on how to raise children (especially me, a mother of twins) because each child is different, and each experience is different (not everyone knows how to raise multiples). So, just because you are a 'child development' specialist or psychologist, doesn't mean you're an expert. I personally was very interested in the differences between each culture (in the Chinese culture, not everyone agrees with the author either) and the effects the parents had on their children. Take it or leave it, no one is telling you how to raise your child. I mostly disagreed with it, but I knew it was just a book, and it was nice when she learned a big lesson. Calm down.
ProudParent More than 1 year ago
It's about time someone spoke the truth about child rearing. My wife (Asian) and I (American) have followed a similar regime with our son, though somewhat less strict. He has turned out to be about as perfect as any parent could want. Everyone who meets him is impressed and asks us how we did it: now I have a guide to refer them to. Hopefully we can now send all the weak minded child psychologists, social workers, and spineless education administrators to the dust bin of history. Anyone can raise their child to be a star; Amy Chua shows the way.
ReviewerofBooks More than 1 year ago
This book reads like a very rough diary of someone who will probably need to write journals & talk to therapists for a few years before realizing the many disturbing behavioral patterns she engages in and why. It is not very cohesive and not well structured. When she writes about the pages and pages of tedious notes she writes to her daughter about various measures of music she is to practice and how precisely to do so, she seems very disturbed. However, when people tell her so again and again, including her Chinese mother who moved from China to the Philippines when she was 2 saying she shouldn't be so intrusive with her daughter, she simply says she does so because she is Chinese. It seems illogical. It reminds me of a description of a narcissist. It is a very odd book. Narcissism is not quintessential to Chinese culture. My Chinese friend & I (we are both Chinese) independently had very similar responses to this book though she articulated things I noticed & found perturbing & I pointed out others. It is very misleading the way the author refers to everything she does as Chinese even when people in the book point out that this explanation does not make sense, yet she persists in doing so. It is also very misleading regarding valuable techniques in working with children. The author comes across as knowing very little of value with regard to teaching music. Research, including scientific research, as well as books on various ways, pluses and minuses, and effective ways of fostering students' talent and teaching children are out there, but for some reason the author believes that she knows better. Also, the back cover says it is about "HOW TO" become a Tiger Mother, referring to a Chinese mom so I am confused why the author & reviewers repeatedly pronounce there is no how to dimension to this book. The opening also reads very much like a how to--in language even more on the nose of how you'd perceive a cliche 'how to' to read than a well written how to. Overall, an odd book that made me feel sympathy for the author & her daughters & wonder why this didn't stay a very rough, private diary & if she will ever be open to listening to the many people who tell her, including in the book, that she contradicts herself & lacks enough self-awareness to participate in more healthy, positive behavioral patterns & to truly allow her children to grow & to grow herself.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Chua handled this controversial material very well. She admitted that although she felt raising kids the Chinese way would have huge benefits, she was realizing the drawbacks. I found it fascinating as well as challenging to my way of parenting. I am definitely a Western mother. I happen to have a child who plays violin. She hates to practice and I find myself wanting to give up constantly. I think taking a bit of the Chinese way and letting it influence mine is not a bad thing. Um...but no yelling. Gives me a headache.
A_Rose-Rober More than 1 year ago
I originally did not intend to read this book, feeling it was not worth the effort but after reading some reviews and Amy Chua's appearance on the Colbert Report I was compelled to read it. It was unreasonably short and discombobulated, the chapters and even the paragraphs jumping from one moment to another two, three, even ten years ahead or behind, but it was still a decent read that I implore parents of all walks to read. While you may be sitting there, eyebrows raised and asking yourself "how can a mother do that?" there are many things that can be taken away from this book. Values that all people should instill in their children, ideals that should be taken with a grain of salt, and several "how to make your child resent you" moments that you should be careful to avoid. To start, Amy Chua begins that she originally had intended this book to show how "Chinese" parenting is somehow superior, but was eventually "humbled" by her rebellious thirteen year old Louisa, whom was affectionately referred to as Lulu, in a restaurant in Russia after an argument over caviar. After Chua called her daughter a "barbarian", "savage", and some other harsh words, Lulu lashed out and gave her mother her opinion of her. Now I could make this a long, winded, and completely unneeded opinion drop of my views of her parenting, but as I said - it is unneeded. This is simply a memoir of one woman's plight to raise her daughters, as well as the woman's identity crisis and inability to distinguish herself, a Chinese-American, from her parents Immigrated Chinese-Americans. That is not to say I did not learn something from Chua and her memoir, I have learned that of course parents are not as perfect as they try so hard to be. I have learned that, should I ever chose to have kids, I want to instill the sort of excellence and togetherness Amy and Jed tried to instill in Sophia and Lulu. I also want to do something that Amy failed to do, instill a sense of passion and willingness to learn that she had to force upon her daughters. In short, this is definitely not a parenting book, it was originally intended to be (according to Chua's own opening paragraph "this is supposed to be a story of how Chinese parents are better at raising kids than Western ones. "But instead, it's about a bitter clash of cultures, a fleeting taste of glory, and how I was humbled by a thirteen-year-old.") but after the fateful event of Russian Caviar (this story having been written the day after said event), Chua reexamined her life, her parenting of her youngest daughter, and how she realized she isn't always right but sometimes forcing your children to do something they don't want to do (the violin, in this case) can bring a positive effect into a child's life. Just don't take it too far and you will toe the line between "gratitude" and "resentment".
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I read this book trying to gain some understanding/insights on "tiger mom" parenting as clearly (based on worldwide results) there is something to setting high expectations and discipline in child-rearing that works. Unfortunately, I walked away concluding that Amy Chua must simply have a great PR agency working on her behalf. This book has received an enormous amount of attention - both good and bad, but it does not deserve it. Of the 199 pages, at least 40% are filler. Do we really want to know about her dog? The book feels like a disjointed combination of a personal journal (as if a therapist recommended "write it down, you'll feel better") and Chua trying to make a point that a non-western approach to raising a child can make a difference. A topic such as this would have been better tackled in a non-fiction approach with Chua developing an argument/theory for the tiger mom parenting approach, supporting it with research facts and then including her personal antidotes to add a human element - Malcolm Gladwell has figured our this writing style brilliantly - this book just feel amateurish.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Chua's book was a very easy and quick read that provided my 'Western' view of parenting with a very different point of view, which I always appreciate. I decided to read the book because of all the controversial press it has been getting. I found the book very well rounded, I thought that Chua fairly depicted her success and her biggest failures. The book was based on opinions and largely not backed by research; it was a window into another mother's life. 'Western' mothers of the world - do not be defensive to other points of view. Be open-minded, like you teach your children to be. If you are feeling defensive you should read Chua's book again and try to pin point what is making you feel defensive and evaluate what you think of your parenting style in that area. Learn and grow and allow yourself to change and adapt as life sees fit, but don't lynch another mother who is simply sharing her personal story with you. Chua doesn't even go as far to say that one way (Chinese vs. Western parenting) is right or wrong, so there is very little to take offense from. Just because she has different points of view don't lynch her or we will be back at the Salem witch trials for heaven sakes.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
i am rereading it and again it is making me laugh laugh laugh. i can totally relate. if people think that children just evolve into these highly enlightened,intelligent charming beings chances are they have below to average children! the author is honest and funny in weighing her choices in child rearing. it's thoughtful on the differences in eastern/western thinking.... i think it's a great read. i loved it!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am sure Amy had the best intention in her mind. However, I felt so sad for her kids and was glad that Lulu rose up against her. I hope they have a happy ending.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Obnoxious author spends page after page bragging about herself & her familly. Theres no meat on the bone, no plot. Its tedious, just like reading someone's journal. I've tried a few times to get into it & every time I'm repelled for the same reasons.
Western_mom More than 1 year ago
Wow. Informative, yes, and an easy read but insulting from beginning to end. I kept hoping Amy would get around to admitting maybe Western parents do something right, but she didn't. Somehow I've managed to raise 4 emotionally healthy, successful, educated and creative kids the "Western" way, through love, guidance, faith and individuality. There is so much more to being a "good" parent than degrees and First Place ribbons! Indeed, there's a good life lesson in those Second and Third place ribbons. Intense, annoying and disappointing read.
Mia10_mom More than 1 year ago
Maybe we should all take a page out of this book and we wouldn't have so many spoiled children in this country...My own included. Remember, it is very hard and it takes a lot of work each day to take the time to discipline your children. Spoiling your children and letting things go is the easy way out.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I'm first generation American of Mexican parents and see the similarities in parenting styles. What an inspiring and book!
Please_Pass_The_Books More than 1 year ago
First of all, this book isn't a parenting guide. It's a witty memoir about a mixed race and interfaith family. This is Ms. Chua's battle hymn. It's not intended to be made into your own. I enjoyed the book immensely. It was clever and funny. I saw a lot of my own upbringing in it, and some of the things she said—I could've sworn she had just gotten off the phone with my grandmother. Do I believe Amy Chua is the model of parenting? No, most certainly not. There were times I felt sad for her daughters (and her dogs), but I could also see past the method and into an honest woman's attempt to navigate the black abyss of parenting. The truth is: we all suck at it. But her kid got into Harvard. She had to eat a piano first, but she got there. Intelligently written, highly entertaining, and fun to read. Recommended!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am horrified. At the time that I am writing this, 63 people have given it a one-star rating. THAT IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE CONSIDERING IT IS AS GOOD AS DICKENS OR SHAKESPEARE. Her parenting may be somewhat troublesome, but she has a method and a purpose, and her style of writing is quite nice. Amy Chua brings you through the story of the rise and fall of her children, Lulu and Sophia, musical talent and success. And it is not just about music. It also deals with tiger parenting at school and home. This is a truly extraordinary work, because even if you disagree with her message, the book is incredibly hilarious and you will not want to put it down. I am tempted to think that some parts are an exaggeration, as it seems too funny to fit in with her tale of woe on how Chinese parenting did not work on the more disobedient child. She is insanely humorous, and I am sure the book is meant to be that way. It sounds so grim (Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother), but in reality it must be classified under the humor section. It is incorrect to put it in any other place. Not only is this marvelous woman NOT abusive to her children, but she is a true writer and an ABSOLUTE GENIUS. SHE DOES NOT NEED HELP. ANYONE WHO SAYS SHE NEEDS HELP IS TOTALLY AND ABSOLUTELY INCORRECT, and while she may be harsh, she is definitely meaning good, and how is it abusive to make your child play an instrument for three hours no matter what the cost? It is ridiculous, but it does not show any abusive nature. I CHALLENGE ANYONE TO FIND ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO CALL HER ABUSIVE. YOU ARE ABUSIVE TO HER BY SAYING SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS ABOUT HER ON A MAJOR WEBSITE. I AM HORRIFIED AT HOW FAR THESE PEOPLE HAVE GONE IN THEIR HATE AND CRITISYSM. Why pick on one of the only Americans who actually cares about their children's futures? This book is a masterpiece of a book, which I think every person on Earth should read. It shows the views of the type of people who you always wonder about, while still retaining it's position as a hilarious and easy read. HOW THESE PEOPLE FIND SO MUCH FAULT IN THIS WORK'S COMPOSITION IS EVEN MORE INTRIGUING THAN HOW THEY FIND ABUSE IN THE PAGES OF THIS BOOK. This woman is not an abusive crack pot. She is a person who CAN GET HER KIDS ON THE STAGE OF ONE OF THE MOST RESPECTABLE MUSIC VENUES IN AMERICA. HER ELDER DAUGHTER PREFORMS IN CARNEGIE HALL IN FRONT OF THOUSANDS, THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED HAD AMY CHUA ONLY MADE HER CHILD PRACTICE A MINUTE FOR A YEAR OF AGE, AS SHE COMMENTS SOME "WESTERN-MINDED" PARENTS DO. AMY CHUA IS A GENIUS.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I believe this book explains why the suicide rates among Asian Americans are rising
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Amy is a very strict chinese mother. I hated how the book was written. It sounds like she was bragging about the whole thing and what she did was terrible.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
RoseLF More than 1 year ago
I think the people who are ripping on this book either are those who haven't read it beyond the WSJ article and other articles written about this book, or those who don't get irony and self-deprecating humor. I am Chinese, though didn't have a tiger mom. I intend to raise my kids somewhat like Chua did, but slightly less extreme and with more positive reinforcement for when they do get it right. Also I think the kids' environment matters more than parenting in how they turn out. Kids care more about what their peers think than what their parents tell them to do. That's what happened in my case, though my own parents were pretty laissez-faire about everything, I was surrounded by kids who had "tiger mothers". These kids were mostly Asian, Jewish, and Indian. So it was as if I was raised by a tiger mother.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved this book. Her style of parenting may be different than yours, but everyone's parenting gets judged. She raised her children to be successful and well-rounded. Her priorities as an Asian mother are different than those of Westeners. It's a good reminder that we, as parents, need to lead our children. She also learned how to relax her rules a bit. It's honest and an over-all good read. Stop hating because it's not the way you would do things. She didn't abuse her children, just did things different than most Americans.