Breaking the Addiction to Please: Goodbye Guilt

by Les Barbanell

Overview

Breaking the Addiction to Please discusses the causes of the addiction to please, including childhood trauma, that are concealed by the Mask of Kindness. Insights, exercises, medication, and other interventions are presented to replace the "Mask," beginning with a Rebuilding phase and ending with Recovery and Relapse Prevention.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780765706744
Publisher:	Bloomsbury Academic
Publication date:	12/22/2009
Pages:	120
Product dimensions:	5.60(w) x 8.60(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Les Barbanell is a current faculty member, supervisor and training analyst at the New Jersey Institute for Training in Teaneck, New Jersey. He has published articles on a variety of subjects that include narcissism, selflessness, exercise and sports psychology, adolescence and relationships. He has a general psychotherapy practice in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey and specializes in the treatment of helping professionals.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 Preface
Chapter 2 1 Selflessness as an Addiction
Chapter 3 2 The Role of the Unconscious
Chapter 4 3 Mask or Masquerade?
Chapter 5 4 When Being Good Goes Bad
Chapter 6 5 The Illusion of Closeness
Chapter 7 6 Primed to Please
Chapter 8 7 The Pursuit of the Lost Self
Chapter 9 8 Life beyond Trauma
Chapter 10 9 Three R's: Rebuilding, Re-Training, Recovery
Chapter 11 10 Once A Please Addict, Always A Please Addict?
Chapter 12 Epilogue

Editorial Reviews

Psychotherapist Barbanell presents an important analysis of the less-known 'caretaker personality disorder,' characterized as an addiction to helping others . . . He offers insights gleaned from his unique practice; explains the basic traits of the addiction, the role of the unconsciousness in the etiology of the disorder, and typical masks that hide underlying emotional turmoil; and presents practical suggestions for long-term recovery and stability. Barbanell frankly integrates his own personal experiences as a recovering pleaser. Both this work and his earlier title provide a foundation to understand better this relatively obscure disorder. A vital work for those in the helping professions and people suffering from this disorder.” —Library Journal

“A powerful tool in the treatment of trauma, Les Barbanell's second book on the caretaker personality syndrome will offer social workers, psychologists, counselors, and individuals interested in understanding their behaviors and motivations further insight into how those who selflessly please are caught in an addiction paradigm borne out of early childhood trauma, rejection, abandonment, and neglect. This powerful and easy-to-read book offers a template for change and reminds us that pleasing may very well be a cover up for underlying problems and that 'breaking the addiction to please' is saying 'goodbye to guilt' and hello to 'real, intimate connections to others.'” —Alison Prince Hammonds, LCSW, BCD, LPC, DAPA, ATR-BC

From the Publisher

A powerful tool in the treatment of trauma, Les Barbanell's second book on the caretaker personality syndrome will offer social workers, psychologists, counselors, and individuals interested in understanding their behaviors and motivations further insight into how those who selflessly please are caught in an addiction paradigm borne out of early childhood trauma, rejection, abandonment, and neglect. This powerful and easy-to-read book offers a template for change and reminds us that pleasing may very well be a cover up for underlying problems and that 'breaking the addiction to please' is saying 'goodbye to guilt' and hello to 'real, intimate connections to others.'

Alison Prince Hammonds