Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution

Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution

Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution

Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution


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The seventeen key principles for transforming conflict—in a beautiful package from the creator of The 48 Laws of Power

From Joost Elffers, the packaging genius behind the huge New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The 33 Strategies of War, and The Art of Seduction, comes this invaluable manual that teaches seventeen fundamentals for turning any conflict into an opportunity for growth. Beautifully packaged in a graphic, two-color format, Changing the Conversation is written by conflict expert Dana Caspersen and is filled with real-life examples, spot-on advice, and easy-to-grasp exercises that demonstrate transformative ways to break out of destructive patterns, to create useful dialogue in difficult situations, and to find long-lasting solutions for conflicts. Sure to claim its place next to Getting to Yes, this guide will be a go-to resource for resolving conflicts.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780143126867
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 01/27/2015
Pages: 272
Product dimensions: 7.40(w) x 9.10(h) x 0.70(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

DANA CASPERSEN is an expert on conflict studies and mediation who has developed conflict workshops and public dialogue projects internationally. She is also an award-winning performing artist and lives in Germany and Vermont.

JOOST ELFFERS is the packager of The 48 Laws of Power as well as Optical Illusions, Play With Your Food, and Viking Studio’s Secret Language series. He lives in New York City.

Table of Contents

Introduction xii

Anti-Principles & Principles xviii

Facilitate Listening and Speaking xx

1 Don't hear attack. Listen for what is behind the words 9

2 Resist the urge to attack. Change the conversation from the inside 23

3 Talk to the other person's best self 37

4 Differentiate needs, interests, and strategies 49

5 Acknowledge emotions. See them as signals 71

6 Differentiate between acknowledgment and agreement 91

7 When listening, avoid making suggestions 105

8 Differentiate between evaluation and observation 117

9 Test your assumptions. Relinquish them if they prove to be false 129

Change the Conversation 140

10 Develop curiosity in difficult situations 145

11 Assume useful dialogue is possible, even when it seems unlikely 155

12 If you are making things worse, stop 175

13 Figure out what's happening, not whose fault it is 187

Look for Ways Forward 200

14 Acknowledge conflict. Talk to the right people about the real problem 205

15 Assume undiscovered options exist. Seek solutions people willingly support 217

16 Be explicit about agreements. Be explicit when they change 227

17 Expect and plan for future conflict 239

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