Cocktales & Chaos: Uncensored Advice of Modern Love

by Medinah Monroe

Overview

Modern dating is messy. But it’s also where your best lessons live.

A bold and hilarious deep dive into modern dating, Cocktales & Chaos blends unfiltered relationship advice, vulnerable storytelling, and self-reflection from podcast host Medinah Ali. With raw truth and relatable lessons, she empowers readers to own their romantic past, present, and future.

From viral podcast moments to private heartbreaks, Medinah Ali has seen it all—and said it all. Now, the voice behind Cocktales: Dirty Discussions brings her signature candor and comedic insight to the page in a fresh guide to modern love. Whether you're recovering from ghosting, replaying toxic situationships, or falling too fast, Cocktales & Chaos offers truth, laughter, and healing.

This book isn’t about finding “the one.” It’s about finding yourself. With sharp observations and powerful self-reflection exercises, Monroe pushes readers to look at their own patterns and romantic decisions through a lens of ownership, not blame. Drawing from her 8+ years behind the mic, her stories will have you laughing, crying, and maybe texting your therapist.

Inside, you’ll find:

• Real-talk advice on sex, love, breakups, and personal growth in the digital age
  
  
• Stories and lessons from Monroe’s own dating journey and from her podcast guests
  
  
• Reflection prompts and takeaways to help you rewrite your love story with honesty and humor

If you liked Don’t Forget Your Crown, Hood Feminism, or The Baddest Girl on the Planet, then you’ll love Cocktales & Chaos.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781684818778
Publisher:	Key Lime Publishing
Publication date:	09/08/2026
Pages:	224
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.50(d)

About the Author

Medinah Monroe is a writer, performer, and co-host of the viral podcast Cocktales: Dirty Discussions. Over the past eight years, she’s built a loyal following of women and femmes who appreciate her raw, hilarious, and vulnerable takes on love, sex, and relationships. Monroe’s insights have been featured in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, XO Necole, Black Enterprise, and The Jasmine Brand. Cocktales & Chaos is her first book—a bold manifesto of lessons learned through dating disasters and emotional growth. She lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

Read an Excerpt

Introduction

This book is for the true lover girl: the girl who just can’t live life without a good old-fashioned love story. In this love story, sometimes she is the absolute villain, but on most days she’s the one pouring herself into the romance—believing in the fairy tale—with every fiber of her being. She has never seen it but she can feel it. She has fallen for the good guy, the bad guy, and maybe even the sugar daddy. She has broken rules for love and given an ignorant amount of grace for things she should’ve let go. She has lost touch with friends because of relationships, she has changed careers, she’s cried several nights begging to God to send her Prince Charming—even though, a few times, He did. She has a beautiful soul, a pure spirit, and the best of intentions, but knows she needs work. She knows that the life she is so desperately trying to get to depends on this work, and she’s terrified to clock in. She is the epitome of love to everyone except herself. She has been navigating life halfway full but never quite whole. This is a book about what love could look like if she could just make herself whole.

I have always assumed that relationship experts had it all figured out. As I sit here with a fairly successful relationship podcast in the middle of my worst heartbreak by far, I can’t help but think that anyone who is making their life’s work about relationships is not scared to dig deep and discover things about themselves that contribute to the successes or downfalls of their love life. Maybe these situations affected them so much that they were moved to help others successfully navigate the complex and at times volatile road map of what we call love. But you will probably veer off into the areas that read in big, bold letters, “DO NOT ENTER,” because, well, we are humans and the best way to really learn anything is through failure or the journey. We simply don’t listen, especially if it’s about someone’s fine, ashy son. I know someone rolled their eyes reading that because I did too. I’m not telling anyone to aim for failure, but really think about a time you failed at something. That failure probably pushed you to make some changes: work harder, get closer to God, get focused, pay attention, love on those around you while you still can. There are many types of lessons that can only be learned through experience, not by doing them right the first go-around.

This book isn’t about how to find a man. I won't bore you with another one of those. I wish I could write a book like that, but I don’t have some secret formula to a perfect love (that’s not a real thing). Unfortunately, my story crashed and burned again, and if I’m being honest, if I dive back into another relationship “unwhole” again, I may as well have my fire suit on because it’s going to keep happening.

This isn’t a pity party… It’s a wake-up call. This book is about you getting real about who you are, unpacking your patterns, and becoming the version of yourself that doesn’t just attract a partner but thrives with or without one.

Surprisingly, dating has taught me that you must be whole on your own. No one can come into your life and make you whole; becoming whole takes some beautifully ugly work.

I realized that most of my stories, ideas, and experiences were written from a place of deep insecurity: insecurities I thought were normal to have and to live with. I'm not even sure I knew they were insecurities, and I didn’t know how to communicate or work through them. You don’t always know exactly what you need to heal right away; it takes a few heartbreaks to really get the hint, and even when some of us get the hint, we still have to process it. That takes time.

My most recent relationships highlighted those areas in such a way that I could no longer ignore Medinah—the real Medinah.

It was not until I began writing this book that all of my bad choices, lack of accountability, holes in my self-esteem, my attitude, and slight drinking problem became so evident that I knew I needed to make some real adjustments to me. Honestly, accountability can be annoying. It is so much easier to point a finger and notice the shortcomings in others, but in reality, whatever you are experiencing first begins with you. Adopting a healthier, more positive perspective requires patience and effort, and it often starts with deep self-honesty.

My hope is that you can see yourself more clearly through my messages and stories. I hope that I can encourage you to try things differently, and if nothing else, I hope my reflections make you feel better about your own dating life. We are all learning and we all make mistakes, but let's not keep making the same ones over and over. And if we do, let’s promise to take a look at ourselves and figure it out.

Thank you for being on this ride with me. I wish for you good loving, divine partnership, and stories that you can share with others over wine and uncontrollable laughter. Let’s dive in.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Witnessed Love

Chapter 2: Dating 101

Chapter 3: Casual or Committed?

Chapter 4: What Are You Dating for?

Chapter 5: Self-Love vs. Relationship Love

Chapter 6: Your Dating Patterns

Chapter 7: Ask Questions

Chapter 8: Who Can You Run to?

Chapter 9: Red Flags

Chapter 10: Forcing Relationships

Chapter 11: Heartbreak and Heartache

Chapter 12: Happily Ever After