Collabor(h)ate: How to build incredible collaborative relationships at work (even if you'd rather work alone)

Collabor(h)ate: How to build incredible collaborative relationships at work (even if you'd rather work alone)

by Deb Mashek PhD
Collabor(h)ate: How to build incredible collaborative relationships at work (even if you'd rather work alone)

Collabor(h)ate: How to build incredible collaborative relationships at work (even if you'd rather work alone)

by Deb Mashek PhD

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Overview

"We’ve all gotten stuck working with people we don’t like. Thankfully, Deb Mashek has written a lively, actionable book to fix that. Combining her expertise as a psychologist and her experience as a consultant, she reveals how we can earn trust, repair relationships, and create collaborations that bring out the best in us.”
Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the TED podcast WorkLife

Many people have mixed feelings about workplace collaboration. On the one hand, they know collaboration is essential to achieve complex goals. On the other hand, they know collaboration is a slog. People pull in different directions. There’s desperately little communication and even less follow through. One person ends up doing all the work. The result? Friction mounts. Projects fizzle. Great people walk.

Here’s why: very few of us ever receive any formal training in how to collaborate well.

In Collabor(h)ate, Deb Mashek draws on her deep experience as a relationships researcher and collaboration facilitator to reveal everything you need to know to make workplace collaborations less painful and more productive.

Dr Deb Mashek is an experienced business consultant, professor, higher education administrator, and national nonprofit executive. She applies relationship science to help people collaborate better.
Learn more at: www.collaborhate.com


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781788603829
Publisher: Practical Inspiration Publishing
Publication date: 01/24/2023
Pages: 220
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.62(d)

About the Author

Dr. Deb Mashek, PhD is the founder of Myco Consulting LLC, where she applies relationship science to help people achieve together that which cannot be achieved alone. Deb is an experienced professor, higher education administrator, and national nonprofit executive.

Table of Contents

Preface: From trailer park to PhD xi

Chapter 1 What is collaboration and how does it go sideways? 1

What is "collaboration" anyway? 1

How common is collaboration in the workplace? 4

Why is collaboration so common? 5

What's at stake when collaboration sizzles versus fizzles? 8

Mixed feelings about collaboration? Welcome to the club 10

Let's talk about the silent H in collabor(h)ate 12

Collaboration, why do I hate thee? Let me count the ways 13

Do we teach this stuff? 18

Where to start? 22

Fear not, this is learnable 24

Here's the point 27

Take 5 27

Chapter 2 Introducing the Mashek Matrix 29

Workplace relationships matter 29

Relationship quality: How good is your relations hip? 31

Interdependence: Do you and your collaborator influence each other's outcomes? 34

The Mashek Matrix 38

Here's the point 41

Take 5 42

Chapter 3 Understanding relationship quality 43

Let's consider: How people differ 44

Nine strategies to increase relationship quality 51

Here's the point 80

Take 5 80

Chapter 4 Understanding interdependence 83

Let's consider: Outcomes 84

Four strategies to turn the frequency dial 91

One strategy to turn the diversity dial 95

Five strategies to turn the strength dial 96

Here's the point 102

Take 5 103

Chapter 5 A DIY workshop: Leveraging the Mashek Matrix to improve your collaborative relationships 105

Step 1 Find current location 108

Step 2 Identify desired location 110

Step 3 Determine first step along path 110

Step 4 Decide preferred level of intervention 114

Step 5 Brainstorm specific ideas 118

Step 6 Systematically evaluate options 120

Step 7 Plan and implement 123

Step 8 Observe and learn 124

Step 9 Now what? 124

Here's the point 127

Take 5 128

Chapter 6 Getting the heck out 131

When to get out 131

How to leave a collaboration 140

Post-dissolution growth 145

All relationships end 145

Here's the point 146

Take 5 147

Chapter 7 Hey, you're collaborGREAT! 149

Which opportunities to say yes to 150

When you're asked to lead a collaborative effort 161

Collaboration in friendships, family, community, and life 171

CollaborGREAT expectations 174

Here's the point 176

Take 5 176

How to make your organization collaborGREAT 179

What Deb's Clients Say 181

Appendix: Overview of the Workplace Collaboration Survey 183

With gratitude 187

Index 193

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

We’ve all gotten stuck working with people we don’t like. Thankfully, Deb Mashek has written a lively, actionable book to fix that. Combining her expertise as a psychologist and her experience as a consultant, she reveals how we can earn trust, repair relationships, and create collaborations that bring out the best in us.
ADAM GRANT, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the TED podcast WorkLife

There’s so much to love about Collabor(h)ate. Too many people are thrown into the deep end of teamwork and left to sink or swim. Sadly, many are sinking. Now we finally have a life buoy. This book is full of new insights about why work relationships are hard and what you can do to make them easier. Better yet, Mashek gives you everything you need to work your team through her brilliant collaboration workshop on your own. This book should be essential reading for every team.
LIANE DAVEY, New York Times best-selling author of You First and The Good Fight

Cooperation is one of the essential skills in the modern world. Collabor(h)ate offers the blueprint for helping people and organizations unlock their potential to work together.
JAY VAN BAVEL, co-author of The Power of Us

Dr. Deb Mashek was born to do this work. She is the relationship psychologist in your pocket, helping you deal with the messy business of people at work. She offers tips, tools, and conversation scripts based on the science of relationships. If you feel like collaborations are happening to you, Collabor(h)ate shows you how to shape your decisions, contributions, and outcomes proactively.
TAMMY HEERMANN, author of Reframe Your Story

Whether it’s working in teams, or on group projects in the classroom, everyone has a story about a dysfunctional collaboration. In Collabor(h)ate, Dr. Deb Mashek shows us how to minimize the stumbling blocks that occur when people work together, but more than that, she provides step-by-step plans for getting the most out of collaborative work. This book when people work together, but more than that, she provides step-by-step plans for getting the most out of collaborative work. This book will lead you to love collaboration and its many benefits.
RONALD RIGGIO, Henry R. Kravis Professor of Leadership and Organizational Psychology, Claremont McKenna College

If you’re looking for a clear, concise, and action-oriented read on how to improve your collaborations at work, then this book is for you. Deb Mashek grounds her book in practical guidance on how to facilitate better collaborative relationships—while being honest about what makes these relationships hard and unappealing—making this book a how-to-guide you will want to turn to time and time again.
TESSA WEST, author of Jerks at Work

Collabor(h)ate teaches what business schools don’t: How to build powerful collaborative relationships to unlock the potential of individuals, teams, and organizations. This ultimate guide is a must-read for every executive ready to make collaboration a competitive advantage.
NAOMI BAGDONAS, Lecturer, Stanford’s Graduate School of Business, co-author of Humor, Seriously

Collaboration is an essential skill in the workplace and beyond. But it isn’t always easy. In Collabor(h)ate, social psychologist Deb Mashek demystifies the complex relationships that sit at the heart of collaboration, providing research-informed strategies and tools for realizing the promise and potential of human connection.
SCOTT BARRY KAUFMAN, author of Transcend and host of The Psychology Podcast

I was gripped from the first line. Mashek’s the real thing. This book is intensely smart, informed with real science—and enormously useful. We humans evolved to live in collaborative groups. This book shows you how. It’s a wise and thought-provoking read.
HELEN FISHER, Chief Science Advisor to Match.com, author of Anatomy of Love

Remote work and social media have made collaborations more difficult and conflict-prone in recent years. It’s going to get much worse as Gen Z enters the workforce—a generation that was deprived of opportunities to learn collaboration naturally, in free play. This is why Collabor(h)ate is such an important book. Mashek combines psychological research, long experience, and playful writing to show you why collaboration is so vital to organizational and personal success, and how to do it better. This book will make you more valuable to employers, and it will also improve your relationships and well-being as you collaborate with selfish, prickly, egotistical (i.e., normal) human beings.
JON HAIDT, Thomas Cooley Professor of Ethical Leadership, New York University—Stern School of Business, New York Times best-selling author of The Righteous Mind and co-author of The Coddling of the American Mind

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