Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust

Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust

by Adam Kahane
Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust

Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust

by Adam Kahane

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Overview

Collaboration is increasingly difficult and increasingly necessary

Often, to get something done that really matters to us, we need to work with people we don’t agree with or like or trust. Adam Kahane has faced this challenge many times, working on big issues like democracy and jobs and climate change and on everyday issues in organizations and families. He has learned that our conventional understanding of collaboration—that it requires a harmonious team that agrees on where it’s going, how it’s going to get there, and who needs to do what—is wrong. Instead, we need a new approach to collaboration that embraces discord, experimentation, and genuine cocreation—which is exactly what Kahane provides in this groundbreaking and timely book.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781626568228
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Publication date: 06/05/2017
Pages: 160
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Adam Kahane is a director of Reos Partners, an international social enterprise that helps people move forward together on their most important and intractable issues.

Table of Contents

Foreword Peter Block ix

Preface xvii

Introduction: How to Work with People: You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust 1

1 Collaboration is Becoming More: Necessary and More Difficult 5

"I could never work with those people!" 5

The enemyfying syndrome 7

The central challenge of collaboration 9

2 Collaboration is Not the Only Option 11

The way forward is unclear 12

"The miraculous option is that we work things through together" 12

There are three alternatives to collaboration 15

Collaboration must be a choice 18

3 Conventional, Constricted Collaboration Is Becoming Obsolete 25

Constriction prevents movement 25

Change management assumes control 26

"There is only one right answer" 29

The limitations of conventional collaboration 31

4 Unconventional, Stretch Collaboration is Becoming Essential 39

Stretching creates flexibility and discomfort 39

How to end a civil war 41

Stretch collaboration abandons the illusion of control 46

5 The First Stretch Is To Embrace: Conflict and Connection 49

Dialogue is not enough 49

There is more than one whole 55

Every holon has two drives 59

Alternate power and love 61

6 The Second Stretch is to Experiment: A Way Forward 69

We cannot control the future, but we can influence it 69

We are crossing the river by feeling for stones 75

Creativity requires negative capability 80

Listen for possibility rather than for certainty 82

7 The Third Stretch is to Step into the Game 89

"They need to change!" 90

If you're not part of the problem, you can't be part of the solution 93

Be a pig rather than a chicken 96

Conclusion: How to Learn to Stretch 99

Notes 109

Acknowledgements 115

Index 118

About the Author 126

About Reos Partners 128

A Note from the Artist, Jeff Barnum 130

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