Connected Parenting: Set Loving Limits and Build Strong Bonds with Your Child for Life

Connected Parenting: Set Loving Limits and Build Strong Bonds with Your Child for Life

by Jennifer Kolari


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Read Jennifer Kolari's posts on the Penguin Blog.

A groundbreaking, counterintuitive parenting approach to create deep, empathic bonds with challenging children

A child and family therapist for more than twenty years, Jennifer Kolari began her career working with children who suffer from severe behavioral problems. That experience taught her an invaluable lesson: It wasn't "tough" discipline that helped these kids change their behavior and build self-esteem. It was unending compassion and empathy. Now Kolari applies these lessons in her work with all families, teaching them how to take a non-defensive stance through even the most heated moments. Filled with heartfelt advice, Connected Parenting helps parents:

•set limits and change problem behaviors for good

•lower the child's anxiety level

•stop the endless battles over homework, routines, food, and more

•learn how to keep cool in any situation

Powerful and inspiring, Connected Parenting includes incredible stories from families who have experienced miraculous transformations- often in just a few weeks-using Kolari's parenting approach. It is a dynamic blueprint for bringing peace and loving connections into any family for life.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781583333945
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 06/01/2010
Pages: 320
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Jennifer Kolari, MSW, RSW has been a Child and Family Therapist who has been working with children and families in Toronto for twenty years. In addition to coaching parents on how to develop and use connected parenting skills, she teaches children’s social skills groups and parenting workshops. Known for offering useful and practical strategies delivered with warmth and humor, her speaking skills are in demand by schools, organizations, and agencies throughout Ontario and California. Before entering private practice, Jennifer was a family therapist at Integra, a children’s mental health center in Toronto for ten years. She also spent several years counseling children and parents for the Toronto School District School Board and was a field supervisor for the University of Toronto faculty of Social Work. She lives in Toronto with her husband, and their three children.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Author's Note xiii

Introduction: The Keys to Connection xv

Part 1 Making or Repairing the Connection

1 The Power of Connection 3

2 Create CALM by Mirroring and Joining 27

3 Reconnect and Repair the Bond 53

4 The Power of Parenting Together 64

5 In the Game of Life You Always Get a Second Chance 77

6 Time Well Spent, or Giving Your Child What He Needs 86

Part 2 Setting Appropriate Limits

7 Letting Your Child Know What's Okay and What's Not 97

8 Before You Set Limits, Get Familiar with Your Own 120

9 Frontloading and Intervention-Key Strategies for Containment 132

10 A Toolbox of Strategies for Containing and Correcting Behavior 149

Part 3 Connecting and Containing in Special Situations

11 Homework, Eating, Sleeping, Bathroom Issues, and More-Mirroring and Containing to Make Transitions Easier 165

12 Strategies for Mirroring and Connecting with the Anxious or Special-Needs Child 192

13 Troubleshooting Common Problems 230

Conclusion: Managing Through Mirroring 272

Suggested Reading 279

Index 281

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"A must read for parents, educators, and any other adults who want to connect in a deeply caring and positive way with the children in their lives."
-Barbara Coloroso, author of Kid's Are Worth It! Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline

"This remarkable book advises us not just how to parent, but-far more important- who to be as parents...based not on simple-minded behavioral solutions, but on building warm, nurturing relationships with our children, with insight and compassion not only for their little flaws but also for our own larger ones."
-Gabor MatT M.D., Physician and best-selling author of Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It

"Jennifer Kolari advocates focusing on empathy and concern for a child to encourage cooperation, enabling the possibility for constructive change."
-Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D., author of Stop the Screaming: How to Turn Angry Conflict with Your Child into Positive Communication

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