Counseling Couples in Conflict: A Relational Restoration Model

by James N. Sells, Mark A. Yarhouse

Overview

Most therapeutic approaches, especially those of a cognitive orientation, are not very effective in dealing with high conflict relationships—couples often heading toward divorce by the time they seek help. Counseling Couples in Conflict is a resource for pastors and counselors who want to be ready for these uniquely difficult cases. Utilizing a relational conflict and restoration model Mark Yarhouse and James Sells point the way beyond the cycle of pain towards marital healing.

Christian Association for Psychological Studies (CAPS) Books explore how Christianity relates to mental health and behavioral sciences including psychology, counseling, social work, and marriage and family therapy in order to equip Christian clinicians to support the well-being of their clients.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780830839254
Publisher:	InterVarsity Press
Publication date:	03/07/2011
Series:	Christian Association for Psychological Studies Books
Pages:	300
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

James N. Sells (Ph.D., University of Southern California) is professor of counseling and director of the Ph.D. program in counselor education and supervision at Regent University in Virginia Beach, Virginia, where he has taught since 2005. He is also a licensed psychologist and coauthored Family Therapies with Mark Yarhouse.

Mark A. Yarhouse (PsyD, Wheaton College) is the Dr. Arthur P. Rech and Mrs. Jean May Rech professor of psychology at Wheaton College, where he directs the Sexual and Gender Identity Institute and serves as a core faculty member in the doctoral program in clinical psychology. His books include Understanding Gender Dysphoria, Modern Psychopathologies, and Family Therapies.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments
Introduction

Part 1: The Preface to Marital Counseling
1 Marriage at a Crucial Stage of Existence
2 Three Fights in One
3 Marriage Is an Us
4 Pastoral and Counseling Boundaries: Invested but not Overinvolved

Part 2: The Process of Conflict and Restoration
5 Pain and Defense
6 Offense and Injury
7 Grace, and Justice
8 Empathy and Trust
9 Forgiveness

Part 3: Marital Counseling Applied
10 The Expressive Art of Sexuality
11 The Product of Art: Children and Parenting
12 Sexual Infidelity
13 Divorce and Blended Families
14 Substance Abuse and Behavioral Addictions
15 A Graceful Conclusion

Index

What People are Saying About This

Eric T. Scalise

"The institution and even the definition of marriage continue to be in turmoil and the subject of debate and controversy within our culture today. Yet, the Scriptures portray marriage as a beautiful metaphor of the union between Christ and his bride, the church. As such, couples face not only the challenges and obstacles inherent in any human relationship but must also contend with the spiritual forces of darkness that seek to destroy this image. Discord, pain, misunderstanding and hurt are inevitable. Counseling Couples in Conflict offers a solid integration of biblical principles and counseling skills with clinical theory that helps foster relational wholeness. Practical case examples are utilized throughout to illustrate key points and provide a balanced model for restoration. Whether a pastoral counselor or a professional mental health clinician, this book is an essential resource for anyone doing marital work."
— Eric T. Scalise, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT, Vice President for Professional Development, The American Association of Christian Counselors

Gary J. Oliver

"The major cause of divorce isn't problems with finances, in-laws, parenting or sex. The major cause is that couples don't know how to deal with conflict around those issues. This long-overdue integrative resource is an invaluable tool and should be in the hands of every counselor. If you want to help couples take their marriage from good to great then you must read this book. It will be required reading for all of my students."
— Gary J. Oliver, Th.M., Ph.D., executive director of The Center for Relationship Enrichment and professor of psychology and practical theology at John Brown University

Virginia T. Holeman

"Addressing the concerns of professional counselors and pastoral counselors alike, Sells and Yarhouse offer a biblically-based, theological-grounded and therapeutically-sound model for working specifically with couples in conflict. I recommend this book for beginning counselors and for seasoned colleagues in the field. It definitely has a home on my bookshelves."
— Virginia T. Holeman, Ph.D., professor of counseling, Asbury Theological Seminary, and author of Reconcilable Differences

Siang-Yang Tan

"Counseling Couples in Conflict is a clearly written and helpful book based on a relational restoration model. I highly recommend it for pastors, Christian counselors and lay counselors who are involved in helping couples."
— Siang-Yang Tan, Ph.D., professor of psychology, Fuller Theological Seminary, and author of Counseling and Psychotherapy: A ChristianPerspective

Editorial Reviews

"Counseling Couples in Conflict is a clearly written and helpful book based on a relational restoration model. I highly recommend it for pastors, Christian counselors and lay counselors who are involved in helping couples."

Siang-Yang Tan

"The major cause of divorce isn't problems with finances, in-laws, parenting or sex. The major cause is that couples don't know how to deal with conflict around those issues. This long-overdue integrative resource is an invaluable tool and should be in the hands of every counselor. If you want to help couples take their marriage from good to great then you must read this book. It will be required reading for all of my students."

Gary J. Oliver

"What this book does best is make the reader fell like they are receiving profound clinical supervision from a wise and experienced therapist. Making a book feel like a supervision session is a true gift that any clinician can appreciate, especially those who are working in the trenches of marital conflict."

Keri L. Barnett

"The institution and even the definition of marriage continue to be in turmoil and the subject of debate and controversy within our culture today. Yet, the Scriptures portray marriage as a beautiful metaphor of the union between Christ and his bride, the church. As such, couples face not only the challenges and obstacles inherent in any human relationship but must also contend with the spiritual forces of darkness that seek to destroy this image. Discord, pain, misunderstanding and hurt are inevitable. Counseling Couples in Conflict offers a solid integration of biblical principles and counseling skills with clinical theory that helps foster relational wholeness. Practical case examples are utilized throughout to illustrate key points and provide a balanced model for restoration. Whether a pastoral counselor or a professional mental health clinician, this book is an essential resource for anyone doing marital work."

Eric T. Scalise

"Addressing the concerns of professional counselors and pastoral counselors alike, Sells and Yarhouse offer a biblically-based, theological-grounded and therapeutically-sound model for working specifically with couples in conflict. I recommend this book for beginning counselors and for seasoned colleagues in the field. It definitely has a home on my bookshelves."

Virginia T. Holeman

"Counseling Couples in Conflict is a clearly written and helpful book based on a relational restoration model. I highly recommend it for pastors, Christian counselors and lay counselors who are involved in helping couples."

--Siang-Yang Tan, Ph.D., professor of psychology, Fuller Theological Seminary, and author of Counseling and Psychotherapy: A Christian Perspective

"What this book does best is make the reader fell like they are receiving profound clinical supervision from a wise and experienced therapist. Making a book feel like a supervision session is a true gift that any clinician can appreciate, especially those who are working in the trenches of marital conflict."

--Keri L. Barnett, Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 2012, Vol. 31, No. 4

"The institution and even the definition of marriage continue to be in turmoil and the subject of debate and controversy within our culture today. Yet, the Scriptures portray marriage as a beautiful metaphor of the union between Christ and his bride, the church. As such, couples face not only the challenges and obstacles inherent in any human relationship but must also contend with the spiritual forces of darkness that seek to destroy this image. Discord, pain, misunderstanding and hurt are inevitable. Counseling Couples in Conflict offers a solid integration of biblical principles and counseling skills with clinical theory that helps foster relational wholeness. Practical case examples are utilized throughout to illustrate key points and provide a balanced model for restoration. Whether a pastoral counselor or a professional mental health clinician, this book is an essential resource for anyone doing marital work."

--Eric T. Scalise, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT, Vice President for Professional Development, The American Association of Christian Counselors

From the Publisher