Dangerous Love: Transforming Fear and Conflict at Home, at Work, and in the World
"Chad Ford reminds us that humanity lies within all of us, and although conflict is everywhere in today's world, we have the tools we need to overcome obstacles and to thrive. This is a fantastic, timely book that I highly recommend."
—Steve Kerr, Head Coach, Golden State Warriors

Knowing how to transform conflict is critical in both our personal and professional lives. Yet, by and large, we are terrible at it. The reason, says longtime mediator Chad Ford, is fear. When conflict comes, our instincts are to run or fight.

To transform conflict, Ford says we need to turn toward the people we are in conflict with, put down our physical and emotional weapons, and really love them with the kind of love that leads us to treat others as fellow human beings, not as objects in our way. We have to open ourselves up with no guarantee that anyone on the other side will do the same. While this can feel even more dangerous than conflict itself, it allows us to see the humanity of others so clearly that their needs and desires matter to us as much as our own.

Ford shows dangerous love in action through examples ranging from his work in the Middle East to a deeply moving story about reconciling with his father. He explains why we disconnect from people at the very time we need to be most connected and the predictable patterns of justification and escalation that ensue. Most importantly, he gives us a path to practice dangerous love in the conflicts that matter most to us.
1134253997
Dangerous Love: Transforming Fear and Conflict at Home, at Work, and in the World
"Chad Ford reminds us that humanity lies within all of us, and although conflict is everywhere in today's world, we have the tools we need to overcome obstacles and to thrive. This is a fantastic, timely book that I highly recommend."
—Steve Kerr, Head Coach, Golden State Warriors

Knowing how to transform conflict is critical in both our personal and professional lives. Yet, by and large, we are terrible at it. The reason, says longtime mediator Chad Ford, is fear. When conflict comes, our instincts are to run or fight.

To transform conflict, Ford says we need to turn toward the people we are in conflict with, put down our physical and emotional weapons, and really love them with the kind of love that leads us to treat others as fellow human beings, not as objects in our way. We have to open ourselves up with no guarantee that anyone on the other side will do the same. While this can feel even more dangerous than conflict itself, it allows us to see the humanity of others so clearly that their needs and desires matter to us as much as our own.

Ford shows dangerous love in action through examples ranging from his work in the Middle East to a deeply moving story about reconciling with his father. He explains why we disconnect from people at the very time we need to be most connected and the predictable patterns of justification and escalation that ensue. Most importantly, he gives us a path to practice dangerous love in the conflicts that matter most to us.
18.95 In Stock
Dangerous Love: Transforming Fear and Conflict at Home, at Work, and in the World

Dangerous Love: Transforming Fear and Conflict at Home, at Work, and in the World

Dangerous Love: Transforming Fear and Conflict at Home, at Work, and in the World

Dangerous Love: Transforming Fear and Conflict at Home, at Work, and in the World

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Overview

"Chad Ford reminds us that humanity lies within all of us, and although conflict is everywhere in today's world, we have the tools we need to overcome obstacles and to thrive. This is a fantastic, timely book that I highly recommend."
—Steve Kerr, Head Coach, Golden State Warriors

Knowing how to transform conflict is critical in both our personal and professional lives. Yet, by and large, we are terrible at it. The reason, says longtime mediator Chad Ford, is fear. When conflict comes, our instincts are to run or fight.

To transform conflict, Ford says we need to turn toward the people we are in conflict with, put down our physical and emotional weapons, and really love them with the kind of love that leads us to treat others as fellow human beings, not as objects in our way. We have to open ourselves up with no guarantee that anyone on the other side will do the same. While this can feel even more dangerous than conflict itself, it allows us to see the humanity of others so clearly that their needs and desires matter to us as much as our own.

Ford shows dangerous love in action through examples ranging from his work in the Middle East to a deeply moving story about reconciling with his father. He explains why we disconnect from people at the very time we need to be most connected and the predictable patterns of justification and escalation that ensue. Most importantly, he gives us a path to practice dangerous love in the conflicts that matter most to us.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781523089772
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Publication date: 06/23/2020
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 68,415
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Chad Ford is associate professor of intercultural peace building and director of the David O. McKay Center for Intercultural Understanding at Brigham Young University-Hawaii. He sits on the executive committee of the Board of Trustees for PeacePlayers, an organization that uses sports to unite divided communities. Ford also works with the Arbinger Institute as a consultant on global conflict resolution initiatives. He spent seventeen years as a senior editor and writer at ESPN.

Table of Contents

Foreword xi

Introduction What Is Dangerous Love? 1

Chapter 1 Dangerous Love in the Desert 7

Chapter 2 Practicing Dangerous Love 17

Chapter 3 Seeing Conflict as Smog 23

Chapter 4 Overcoming Our Fear of Conflict 31

Chapter 5 How a Smog Thinker Fights Conflict 39

Chapter 6 How a Cocoon Thinker Transforms Conflict 55

Chapter 7 The Chasm of Separation and Self-Deception 67

Chapter 8 Bridging the Gap between Fear and Love 75

Chapter 9 Mistakes Were Made 83

Chapter 10 But Not by Me 91

Chapter 11 Escalating Conflict 97

Chapter 12 What War Is Good For 107

Chapter 13 Waiting for Them to Turn 117

Chapter 14 Turning First 127

Chapter 15 The Kumbaya Fallacy 135

Chapter 16 Inviting Them to Turn 149

Chapter 17 Truth, Mercy, and Justice 155

Chapter 18 Keeping the Peace 167

Chapter 19 The Long-Short Way 177

Chapter 20 Small and Simple Things 191

Chapter 21 Troubleshooting Dangerous Love 199

Chapter 22 Choosing Love over Fear 205

Notes 219

List of Stories 225

Acknowledgments 229

Index 233

Additional Resources 241

About the Author 243

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