Defining Moments: Coping With the Loss of a Child

by Lois Duncan, Mike Reynolds, Gloria Horsley

Overview

"Love is a chain to lock a child to its parent. My poor boy, he was too good for this earth. God has called him home." - Abraham Lincoln

GRIEF KNOWS NO AGE
The death of a child is devastating, whether it's a young mother with a stillborn baby or an elderly father mourning the loss of a middle-aged son from cancer. For parents who have suffered the loss of a child, the path to recovery is often scattered with deep emotional struggle.

If you look at the world's views on grief, it can be disheartening:

• 19% of the world's population has experienced the loss of a child. That leaves millions of families searching for hope in the grief process.
• The divorce rate of couples who experience the loss of a child is 80% to 90%.
• There is a rise in drug or alcohol use among parents or siblings as they struggle to cope
• Suicide from surviving parents or siblings is on the rise.

The collection of stories shared here are from parents who endured the strength to cope with the loss of a child. Imagine having another parent take your hand during your darkest stage of your grief and show you that there can be light and even hope for your future.

Each story includes resources and contact info of other parents who can offer support. When you are grieving, it helps to know that you are not alone in that journey.

This books also makes a great gift to give a family who is struggling with the loss of a child. The greatest gift to give another is hope.

Contributing Authors (in order of their story):
Lois Duncan
Mike Reynolds
Gloria Horsley
Dick & Sandy Gallagher
Dean Eller
Dianne Rogers
Martha Tessmer
Doug Griffin
Violeta Astilean
Cookie Bakke
Shari Savage
Jill Hammond Jackson
Jennifer Davis
Charisse Jimenez
Alicia Bertolero
Danielle Lawhead
Dan Cope
Juanita Arroyo
Megan Shank
Celine Ford
Patrick Murphy
Janet Burroway
Steve Roberts
Debbi Rath
Cecilia DiNunno
Mary Johnson
Clara Hinton
Michelene Fitzgerald
Eddie Rivera
Karen Tesi
Dale West
Cindy Brown
Irene Freitas
Joanie Cook
Lo Anne Mayer
Lisa A Bright
Brad & Jan Lopez
Elly Sutherland
Cora Merkley
Gretchan Wheeler
Renee Vigil

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780578565835
Publisher:	Red House LLC
Publication date:	10/08/2019
Series:	Defining Moments , #1
Pages:	246
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.56(d)

About the Author

Melanie Warner is an author, speaker, writer, and a publisher of magazines and newspapers for over 25 years. She is the founder of the new Defining Moments book series that offer positive stories of hope and inspiration from people who have overcome extreme challenges in life. As a writer, Warner has a collective readership of over 3 million readers a month. Warner lost her own son, which inspired her to write this book as a resource for hospitals, doctors, non-profits, hospices, family therapists, grief experts, and other organizations that are the first responders to parents who have experienced the loss of a child.

Read an Excerpt

Excerpt from the Forward

It’s been estimated that over fourteen million children every year die under the age of five. Those staggering numbers leave behind many people who are hurting, including parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and close friends. Research has shown us that after the death of a child, families struggle with a high risk of divorce, drugs, alcohol and even suicide to lessen the burden of the seemingly endless despair of this type of tragedy.

So what is the solution? There isn’t just one. For myself, I almost died at the same time my son did. It created a spiritual shift, a desire to do better, to be better. I decided to live my life with purpose and not just go through the business of life. That was the gift my son gave me. I found ways to honor him in the way that I chose to live the rest of my life. Instead of choosing the path of downward spiral, I made a conscious choice to walk through the pain. I learned that there were several stages I had to go through in order to heal my heartache and eventually learned to find joy again – without feeling guilty. I learned that the length of time I mourned his death, had nothing to do with the depth of love I feel for my son.

The thing that helped me the most was to talk with other parents who were going through the same pain. When I started hearing their stories, I remember thinking that their story was worse then mine. If you ask them, they would say that someone else’s story was worse than theirs. A loss is a loss and affects everyone differently. The process of healing is different for everyone. But there was a comfort in seeing other people survive it and hear how they walked through that dark journey and survived it intact. The last thing I wanted was someone else telling me what I was supposed to feel, especially someone who never lost a child. I realized that I had joined a club that no one wanted to join and I would be a lifetime member. I hope that you find comfort and solace and healing in these pages. I want to thank all of the courageous parents who shared their emotional, painful, searing stories in order to have the purest intention of helping you through your own journey. May you be blessed as you continue living your own life. Just know that if you look for the reason why your child died, you will rarely, if ever, find an answer that satisfies you. Asking 'why’ always holds us back. Instead, if you look hard enough, you will find the purpose, not only in your child’s life, but in your own. There is a lesson that will help you grow. Instead, start by asking 'what can I learn from this experience?’ Where do I go from here? How can I find a place that allows me to feel joy for my child that died, the same way I feel happiness and joy when I see my other children?

May God bless you on your journey and bring peace to your broken heart.

Melanie Warner

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments 9

Introduction 15

Chapter 1 Creating a Cause 21

Believe What Your Heart Says Lois Duncan 21

A Message to Violent Criminals Mike Reynolds 25

My Life's Detour Gloria Horsley 29

The Gigantic Mattress Dick Sandy Gallagher 35

Miracle in Disguise Dean Eller 38

Chapter 2 Power of Forgiveness 47

A Journey to Forgiveness Dianne Rogers 47

To Forgive, Not Forget Martha Tessmer 56

Molly Day Doug Griffin 60

Two Angels, One Life Melanie Warner 67

Just One Life Violeta Astilean 74

Chapter 3 Angel Babies 81

Seeds of Hope Cookie Bakke 81

Incompatible With Life Shari Savage 87

The Grief Letter Jill Hammond Jackson 91

Three Days, Jennifer Davis 94

I'll Hold You in Heaven Charisse Jimenez 100

The Grateful Eight Alicia Bertolero 105

Chapter 4 Living With Hope 111

A Happy Seed Danielle Lawhead 111

The Sweetest Thing Dan Cope 115

Terminal Hope Juanita Arroyo 119

A New Angel Megan Shank 124

The Smile That Warms Your Heart Celine Ford 127

A Life's Journey Patrick Murphy 132

Chapter 5 Sudden Shock 137

Tolerating Shrapnel Janet Burroway 137

My Only Child Steve Roberts 145

The Power of Choices Debbi Rath 150

The Next Generation Cecilia DiNunno 156

When Can I Go Home? Mary Johnson 159

The Michael Tree Clara Hinton 162

Chapter 6 Faith and Prayer 167

The Brave One Michelene Fitzgerald 167

Lost and Found Eddie Rivera 171

Just For Today Karen Tesi 177

On a Mission Dale West 181

My Friends Need Jesus Cindy Brown 184

Chapter 7 Gifts From Beyond 191

The Unexpected Gift Irene Freitas 191

The Gratitude Letter Joanie Cook 197

Celestial Conversations Lo Anne Mayer 201

New Life For Others Lisa A. Bright 205

Chapter 8 Multiple Losses 211

Walking Through the Fire Brad Jan Lopez 211

When Four Becomes One Elly Sutherland 217

Making a Family God's Way Cora Merkley 219

Unexpected Journey Gretchan Wheeler 231

Faith Through Fog Renee Vigil 236

Meet The Author 243

Share Your Story 245