Do You Have Kids?: Life When the Answer Is No

Do You Have Kids?: Life When the Answer Is No

by Kate Kaufmann


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A savvy and validating guide to what might be in store for growing numbers of childfree and childless adults worldwide, Do You Have Kids? Life When the Answer is No takes on topics from the shifting meaning of family to what we leave behind when we die. Weaving together wisdom from women ages twenty-four to ninety-one with both her own story and a growing body of research, Kate brings to light alternate routes to lives of meaning, connection, and joy.

Today about one in five American women will never have children, whether by choice or by destiny. Yet few women talk much about what not having kids means to their lives and identities. Not that they don’t want to; there just aren’t obvious catalysts for such open conversations. In fact, social taboos preclude exploration of the topic—and since our family-centric culture doesn’t know quite what to do with non-parents, there’s potential for childless and childfree women to be sidelined, ignored, or drowned out. Yet there’s widespread, pent-up demand for understanding and validating this perfectly normal way of being. In this straight-shooting, exhaustively researched book, women without kids talk candidly about the ways in which their lives differ from societal norms and expectations—the good, the bad, and the unexpected.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781631525810
Publisher: She Writes Press
Publication date: 04/02/2019
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 357,603
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Kate Kaufmann embarked on her life as a non-mom when she abandoned fertility treatments, quit her corporate job, and moved from the suburbs to a rural community to raise sheep. Since 2012, she has talked with hundreds of women ranging in age from twenty-four to ninety-one and advocates for better understanding of the childless/childfree demographic. Kate received an MFA in creative writing in 2016 from the Northwest Institute of Literary Arts and has a professional background in corporate staffing, training, and consulting. She's lived in various urban, suburban, rural, and coastal communities and currently calls Portland, Oregon home. Her writing has appeared most recently in the Washington Post. Visit her at

Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 Who We Are 5

Chapter 2 Making A Living 17

Chapter 3 Borrowed From The Beginning 37

Chapter 4 Abiding Friendship 55

Chapter 5 Family Matters 71

Chapter 6 Where We Live 97

Chapter 7 Use It Or Lose It 121

Chapter 8 Spirit Moves 139

Chapter 9 Elder Orphans 171

Chapter 10 What We Leave Behind 199

Afterword-Do You Nave Kids? 221

Notes 245

Acknowledgments 269

About the Author 273

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