Docile: Memoirs of a Not-So-Perfect Asian Girl

by Hyeseung Song Narrated by Hyeseung Song

Overview

For readers of Crying in H Mart and Minor Feelings as well as lovers of the film Minari comes a “scorchingly honest...hugely evocative memoir” (Helen Macdonald, New York Times bestselling author of H Is for Hawk) about the daughter of ambitious Asian American immigrants and her search for self-worth.

A daughter of Korean immigrants, Hyeseung Song spends her earliest years in the cane fields of Texas where her loyalties are divided between a restless father in search of Big Money, and a beautiful yet domineering mother whose resentments about her own life compromises her relationship with her daughter. With her parents at constant odds, Song learns more words in Korean for hatred than love. When the family's fake Gucci business lands them in bankruptcy, Song moves to a new elementary school. On her first day, a girl asks the teacher: “Can she speak English?”

Neither rich nor white, Song does what is necessary to be visible: she internalizes the model minority myth as well as her beloved mother's dreams to see her on a secure path. Song meets these expectations by attending the best Ivy League universities in the country. But when she wavers, in search of an artistic life on her own terms, her mother warns, “Happiness is what unexceptional people tell themselves when they don't have the talent and drive to go after real success.” Years of self-erasure take a toll on Song as she experiences recurring episodes of depression and mania. A thought repeats: I want to die. I want to die. Song enters a psychiatric hospital where she meets patients with similar struggles. So begins her sweeping journey to heal herself by losing everything.

“A celebration of resilience and a testament to the power of art to heal and transform” (Chloé Cooper Jones, two-time finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and author of Easy Beauty), Docile is one woman's story of subverting the model minority myth, contending with mental illness, and finding her self-worth by looking within.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

"Docile is the rarest of things: a scorchingly honest, beautiful, hugely evocative memoir that’s also a proper pageturner: I read it breathlessly in a single sitting, transported and deeply moved. It's at one and the same time the story of a life and a meditation on identity, family, trauma, illness, and the nature of love, art, and success. It’s wonderful." — Helen Macdonald, New York Times bestselling author of H is for Hawk

"A revelation, a celebration of resilience, and a testament to the power of art to heal and transform. Docile has left an indelible mark on me." — Chloé Cooper Jones, two-time finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and author of Easy Beauty

"A savagely beautiful memoir. Skillfully crafted and achingly heartfelt, Docile creates worlds through richly-observed details, told with a powerful narrative drive. Eloquent, often funny, and always unflinchingly honest, Song has created a Portrait of the Artist as a Young AAPI Woman which will be read and cherished for generations to come." — David Henry Hwang, author of M. Butterfly

"A work of extraordinary tenderness and depth, Docile chronicles an immigrant family’s dreams, losses, and love through Hyeseung Song’s clear-eyed and poetic storytelling. Ultimately a book about the call of art, the bane of mental illness, and inheritances both welcome and not, Docile offers a gorgeous glimpse of one seeker’s earnest journey toward selfhood." — Rachel Yoder, author of Nightbitch

"This book sliced my heart. A portal into a relentless artist's path, and how damaging the burden of love and sacrifice can be. An immigrant story and an artist's story; a mental illness story and a divorce story; Song writes of gasping for air while drowning, and then finally making it to shore." — Frances Cha, author of If I Had Your Face

"This beautiful, brutal coming-of-age tale enthralled me from start to finish. Few writers have captured the terror and wonder of childhood with Song's precision and intellect. I loved this book and will never, ever stop thinking about it." — Joanna Rakoff, author of My Salinger Year

"Song takes us on an intimate journey through the rich inner life of a brilliant young woman whose gifts are tethered to her self-worth, and in so doing, she invites us to ask difficult questions: What is the debt we owe to others for our own lives? What is the cost of carrying that debt? And how do we ultimately break free? Docile is a first-hand account of struggling with mental illness and a profound and poetic meditation on the value of living." — Grace M. Cho, author of Tastes Like War

"Filled with unwavering grace, Docile is a story of loneliness and searching that brims with radiant empathy. Song leaves readers with a bold assertion: that we must become who we are meant to be, no matter the cost."— Kat Chow, author of Seeing Ghosts

"Docile left me open mouthed and gaping in wonder—Hyeseung Song fearlessly plumbs so many varied topics from Asian mothers to mental health to relationships to creativity. Her words become pointillist brushstrokes that layer complexity and nuance to create an indelible tapestry filled with people I will never forget—most of all, herself." — Marie Myung-Ok Lee, author of The Evening Hero

"Reading Docile by Hyeseung Song is like watching Gilmore Girls... it speaks to anyone who’s ever felt stuck between honoring their culture and finding their own path. Song’s story is deeply personal but also relatable, offering comfort and insight for anyone navigating the sacrifices and struggles of balancing who they are, with where they come from." — Southern Review of Books

“Always elegant and clearly written...a very heartfelt, intensely personal, and moving story of boredom, depression, suffering, and striving to reach eventual self-realization.” — New York Journal of Books

“Choosing to live requires a crucial journey to discovering her true, unadorned self. Song’s literary self-portrait is formidable testimony to claiming her powerful artistry.” — Booklist

Kirkus Reviews

2024-03-09
The emotional journey of a Korean American writer and painter from child to adult shows her struggle to fulfill her parents’ dreams while finding her own way in the world.

How do you attain academic and financial success without selling your soul? How do you find meaning in life? These are two of the many existential questions that haunted Song as she grew up as one of the few Asian American students in her suburban Houston high school, then as a striving Ivy League college and law school student, before defying her parents and stepping off the corporate track to become an artist. The author also grappled with her identity, caught between two cultures. Like many offspring of immigrant parents, she felt neither truly Korean nor American. It was not until her time as a college intern in South Korea, where she was sexually assaulted—and then shunned—that she realized the U.S. was her home. “I had tried to operate as a Korean in Korea,” writes the author, “but attempting to fit into my native country, about which I had an abstract, mythical understanding, had only compromised me.” Song describes how she suffered several bouts of depression that were so bad she had to be hospitalized. In straightforward prose, the author chronicles these periods of hopelessness, as well as her anguish about her distant relationship with her husband, who helped nurse her back to health. Many characters flit in and out of the text; while some are fully fleshed, others are two-dimensional. Across nine chapters, Song covers most of her life, which means that some seemingly important topics—such as her reconciliation with her mother—get short shrift. Nonetheless, the author’s voice is strong and assured throughout the narrative.

A cleareyed look at the difficulty of navigating different cultures and expectations.

Product Details

BN ID:	2940160120324
Publisher:	Simon & Schuster
Publication date:	07/16/2024
Edition description:	Unabridged

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