Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating

Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating

by Nick Viall
Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating

Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating

by Nick Viall


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From celebrity heartthrob, esteemed host of The Viall Files podcast, and adored member of Bachelor Nation Nick Viall comes Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday—a no-holds-barred dating-advice book.

“Nick has hard- and well-earned wisdom to share from his own journey—from heartbreak to healing to discovering real and lasting love. In his usual compassionate and humorous voice, he offers great advice . . . like an older brother who is way cooler and wiser than you!” —Dr. Laura Berman, relationship therapist and host of The Language of Love

With his trademark charm, relationship expertise, and exclusive sex and love Q&A series, Nick guides readers through topics of love, lust, dating, and heartbreak. Nothing is off-limits as he delves into situationships, how to identify a player, and defining healthy love versus toxic love. Trying to figure out if friends with benefits is worth it? Unsure if they’re really into you? Is this guy a walking red flag? Can you come back from being cheated on? Viall is here with all those answers and more.

Filled with stories and one-liners you’ll be texting your friends, Donʼt Text Your Ex Happy Birthday is an honest, entertaining, and heartfelt relationship handbook that actually answers the question “What does it mean when they say . . . ?”

“I texted my ex ‘hi’ on Christmas and then I read this book. Required reading for anyone else embarrassing themselves on a daily basis.” —Cazzie David, New York Times bestselling author of No One Asked For This

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781419771668
Publisher: Abrams Image
Publication date: 10/31/2023
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 101,294
Product dimensions: 5.10(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Nick Viall is a Los Angeles–based entertainment personality and entrepreneur who is best known as the host of the E! People’s Choice Award–nominated podcast The Viall Files. Previously, Nick starred in the 21st season of ABC’s The Bachelor after participating in three prior seasons of the franchise. Viall has built a name for himself as a contemporary and very opinionated dating-advice guru, in addition to working as a TV actor, with roles on shows such as Insecure, Teachers, Speechless, and Family Guy.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 Introduction 16

Why I Wrote This Book 17

The Nine Big Concepts in This Book 20

Chapter 2 Training Our Pickers 34

What's a Picker? 35

What Is a Fuckboy, Anyway? 36

Identifying Fuckboys and Players: A Guide 39

Four Traits of the Fuckboy 40

Five Hallmarks of the Player 45

When Fuckboys Become Situationships 49

The Just-Got-Out-of-a-Relationship Situationship 52

The Sour-Patch-Kid Situationship 54

Can You Transform a Situationship into a Relationship? 58

Chapter 3 Making the First Move 72

Who Should Make the First Move? 73

Approaching Someone in Public 74

How to Flirt 77

Sliding into Someone's DMs 77

Zoom Is Your Friend 82

Shooting Your Shot with a Friend 85

Stop Warning Your Crush 86

A Final Note: Your Relationship Won't Care How You Met 87

Chapter 4 The First Date 91

The Biggest Mistake People Make on First Dates 92

Getting the Most Out of a First Date 95

Chapter 5 How to Get Better at Dating 102

Never Stop Learning 103

Remember That Everyone Is Annoying 105

Be Honest About Non-Negotiables 107

Don't Judge People for Having a Long List of Exes 109

Making Sex Timelines Only Wastes Your Time 110

Prioritize the Boundaries You Set over Chemistry You Feel 112

Unleash the Power of Defining the Relationship 113

Know When to Ask Why (And When Not To) 116

Forget What Movies Teach Us About Dating 119

Chapter 6 Navigating Hookup Culture 126

The Most Important Rule Is to Remember What Hookup Culture Really Is 127

Set Expectations and Boundaries ASAP 128

Casual Sex Is Still Sex 131

Have Sex Because You Want to, Not Because of How You Feel About Someone Else 131

Chapter 7 Real Love and Serious Relationships 135

There's No Such Thing as Love at First Sight 136

What Is Real Love? 138

Why Everyone Could Benefit from Couples Therapy 143

How to Interpret Jealousy in Your Relationship, and What You Can Do About It 144

Chapter 8 Moving In with Your Significant Other 153

There Are Only Two Good Reasons to Move In Together 154

These Are Not Good Reasons to Move in with Your Partner 156

Things You Should Do Before You Move in Together 159

Chapter 9 Should I Stay or Should I Go? 163

Knowing When to End a Relationship 164

Healthy Versus Toxic Love 167

The Myth of Wasted Time 170

Chapter 10 Getting Over Them 178

My First Girlfriend: The Whole Story 179

Stop Giving Yourself Cheat Days 184

Wanting Them Back Is the Real Toxic Trait 186

Block Them 187

Stop Wishing Your Ex a Happy Birthday 188

No, You Can't Stay Friends with Your Ex 191

Now Is the Time to Stop Asking Why 191

The Internet Should Not Be Your Therapist 193

Some Honest Reasons Why Your Ex Is Really Back That Aren't as Romantic as You Want to Believe 196

But, Unfortunately, That's Not What Usually Happens 197

Your Pain Doesn't Mean You Should Get Back Together 200

Rejection Isn't Failure, It's Clarity 203

Being Single Isn't Bad 203

Appendix: What Does It Mean When They Say …? 212

"I like you, but …" 213

"I don't want to do this to you" 213

They want to "lay low" 214

"I need some time to figure things out" 214

"Like," on your social media 215

They "want to take a break" 216

They "don't want a relationship," but really act like they do 217

"I'm scared" / "I need to be alone right now" / "It's just not the right time" / "I'm not ready"/ "I don't know if it's a good idea" 218

Acknowledgments 220

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