Table of Contents
Introduction 1
1 A Whole New Strategy 9
2 When Your Kids Ignore You 18
Two Times for Free 19
3 Yellers, Screamers, Insulters, Cursers, and Those Ever-Loving Little Mumblers 24
Pump Up the Volume 25
Don't Stand, Don't Stand, Don't Stand So Close to Me … 27
My Ears Don't Work Too Well 28
Shutting Up 31
Misunnerstaninmblrs (Translation: Misunderstanding Mumblers) 33
The Frickin' Trick 35
#*%*! (Translation: The Potty Mouth Log) 37
4 Door Slammers and Stair Stompers 39
Door-Slamming Practice 41
Stair-Stomper Training 43
5 Tales of Messy Rooms 45
The Family Laundry Hamper 47
The Victim of Capitalism 51
Fashion Feng Shui 54
Would You Like Me to Pick That Up for You? 55
Clean Laundry 56
Grounded from Your Room 58
Alien Watch 60
Channel Changer Wars 62
Dishwasher Practice 63
Pretend It's a Picnic 65
6 Liars, Fibbers, and Scammers 66
The Liar's Program 68
The Liar's Program Lite 71
7 Arguers 72
The Arguing Program 74
The Compliment: A Degree in Arguology 77
The Equality Program 79
Trie Real Meaning of "OK" 81
8 Sticky Fingers 82
Hide the Tennis Shoe 84
You Need More Stuff 87
Guard Duty 90
I Don't Know Where That Came From 93
The Five-Foot Rule for Stealers 96
9 Slackers 97
The "Don't Ask Me to Work Too Hard" Meal 98
Slacker-Sized Meals 100
The Slacker Computer 102
GPA Poker 104
10 The Complaint and Blame Department 106
Pre-Complaining 107
The Blame Game 109
Kid Cooks 111
11 School Days, School Daze 112
The "I Forgot" Pizza Method 114
The Lost Pizza Method 116
Rushing Through Homework 119
12 I Don't Know 122
"My Brain Does Not Work" 123
The Mandatory "I Don't Know" 125
The Nana Information Specialist 127
13 Wet Towels, Toothpaste Tubes, and Other Bathroom Battles 130
Bath Time Now 132
The Après Shower Program 133
Grounded from the Tube 134
Bathroom Monopolizer 136
Hot-Water Hogs 137
14 Sibling Combat 138
The Failure to Spend Enough Time Together Program 139
Grounded from Your Mouth Times Two (or More) 142
Car Time-Out 144
The 7-Eleven Solution 146
The Ten-Foot Rule for Multiple Users 147
The Ten-Foot Rule for Regaining the Peace 149
Child in Charge 151
Pet Empathy 153
In Service to the Greater Good 155
Resume the Role 157
A Touch of Class 159
15 Pesterization 160
The Pestering the Pesterizer Program 161
The Poking Program 163
16 Regarding Cell Phones 165
Your Cell Phone Is Broken 167
Texting Maniac 169
The Shortest Trick in the Book 171
17 Slow-Pokey Kids 172
Stop and Go 174
Butler's Salary 175
The Funky Outfit 177
The Thirty-Second Solution 179
18 Touchy Kids and Fit Throwers 181
Bump Training 182
Mistake Training 183
Switch It Up 185
But I'm Siii-iiick! 186
The Little Kid Program 188
19 Gross Stuff 191
Can't Remember to Flush the Potty 192
Burps and Farts 194
20 Interrupters and Subject Shifters 196
Conversus Interruptus 197
Shifting the Subject 199
21 Worrywarts 202
Stupid Vampires 203
Braveheart 205
Dreamweavers 207
Nail Biters 209
22 The Biggest Trick in the Box 210
Epilogue: A Few Parting Words 219
Invent Your Own Tricks and Share Them with Others 220
Acknowledgments 221
About the Author 223
