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INTRODUCTION
We human beings are social creatures, and our world works because of the many ways we interact with and influence one another. We get our way with others by developing bases of power—which derive from a number of personal and organizational sources—and using that power to influence how others think, feel, and act. We succeed in business as well as in life when we learn how best to influence others to do our bidding, accept our point of view, follow our lead, join our cause, feel our excitement, or buy our products and services.
We should be clear about one thing from the start: Influence is not some magic power only a few people have. Every person on the planet exercises influence all the time. Influencing is what all of us seek to do whenever we want someone else to do something, to agree with us, to believe something, to choose something, to think in a particular way a to accept our perspective, or to behave differently. Even the simple act of greeting other people is an act of influence (you are trying to persuade them that you are friendly and not hostile, and you want to influence them to treat you in a friendly, nonhostile manner in return).
A baby tries to influence its mother when it cries. Children try to influence their parents when they ask if they can watch a television program or go outside and play. Teachers try to influence their students;
salespeople try to influence their customers; employees try to influence their boss; advisers try to influence their clients; lobbyists try to influence elected officials; advertisers try to influence consumers; leaders try to influence their followers; and authors, like me, try to influence readers.
We tend to think that power and influence belong only to those who are very powerful and influential—to kings and presidents, govern-ment officials, generals, billionaires, movie stars, renowned athletes a and others among the rich and famous—but this is a fallacy.
Influence is so common and so much a part of the fabric of daily life that we usually fail to recognize it when it happens. In virtually every human interaction, there will be multiple attempts at influence, some verbal and some nonverbal. The person I’m speaking to nods her head (wanting me to believe that she agrees with what I’ve said or at least understands it). I ask for her opinion (this is an influence attempt called consulting). She tells me what she thinks and indicates why she thinks it is true (another influence attempt, since she is trying to persuade me to accept her idea of truth). I suggest we meet with someone else (an influence attempt) to discuss the matter further. She agrees but wants to bring along an expert who can validate her perspective (another influence attempt).
Round and round we go, each one of us trying to influence the other so we can shape the outcome—and this is what human interactions are: a continuous negotiation for agreement or acceptance as we all attempt to exert our will, point of view, or interests. In English, the word influence can have negative connotations, as in influence peddling in Washington or one person exerting undue influence on another. But these negative examples of influence give a bad name to what is actually a ubiquitous and, for the most part, ethical human practice. The fact is that you could not get along in the world if you were not able to influence others and if you were not willing to be influenced by them on a nearly continuous basis.
As other authors have noted, “No one escapes psychological ‘axwork,’
the constant reconfiguring of our beliefs, attitudes, intentions, and behavior by unrelenting and ubiquitous forces. . . . Persuasion is cons-tantly remaking us into persons who are measurably changed. Sometimes imperceptibly—ofttimes dramatically.”
Influence is part of nearly every communication and occurs in virtually every human interaction. Influence is crucial to business, too. It is so fundamental to leadership that there could be no leadership without it.
So what is influence? Webster’s dictionary defines influence as “the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command,” or “the power or capacity of causing an effect in indirect or intangible ways.” The research on power and influence shows, however, that while it may happen without an apparent exertion of force, influence can also be overt and quite tangible, as when a merchant offers a customer free shipping if the customer will accept the price being stated (an influence technique called exchan-ging) or when a product developer says to a colleague, “I need your help on a project” (an influence technique called stating).
Influence is the art of getting others to take your lead—
to believe something you want them to believe, think in a way you want them to think, or do something you want them to do.
Ethical Influence
When influence is ethical, the person being influenced (the influencee)
consents to be influenced, although most of the time that consent is implicit and unstated. A friend asks me for a favor, and I agree to it. A
colleague calls me and suggests that we meet to talk about an urgent business opportunity, and I move other appointments on my calendar so that we can meet right away. I am listening to a debate between two presidential candidates. They are discussing the economy and one of them seems to have a better grasp of the issues and a better solution to the problems—and I decide to vote for that candidate. During an annual physical, my doctor tells me that my cholesterol level is too high and advises me to see a nutritionist who can help me learn to eat healthier foods—and I make an appointment with the nutritionist as soon as I leave the clinic. In each of these cases, I am not being coerced. a have a choice. I could decide to say no to each of these influence attempts, so I am, in effect, consenting to be influenced.
If I have no choice, however, then the influence attempt is coercive or manipulative and therefore unethical. A man points a gun at me and demands that I give him my wallet. A solicitor tells me that my generous gift to the nonprofit she represents will aid people in a developing country, but in fact she is pocketing many donations as part of her “management fee.” An angry man pushes his way to the front of the line at my service counter, demanding that I serve him first and give him what he wants or he’ll report me to my supervisor.
My boss tells me not to worry about some charges on his expense account that he doesn’t have receipts for. In the same breath, he says it’s too bad about the recent layoffs and I should feel lucky I still have a job. A customer will agree to accept my proposal only if I pay a consulting fee to an agent in his country—who happens to be the customer’s cousin. In these cases, I am being pressured, coerced, or lied to a and saying no could have negative consequences for me.
