Table of Contents
Preface xi
Acknowledgments xvii
1 Diversity, Not Disorder 1
My Perspective Changes 5
Diversity Considered 7
Introducing ADD as a Diversity Issue 10
Confirming My Perspective 14
Milele's Magic 14
Thus Speaketh a Healed Healer! Cesario's Magic 15
Jeannine's and Kevin's Magic 17
The Magic of Diversity: The Relationship Between Analogue and Linear Brainstyles 20
"Girls 'Weekend Out" (Later Renamed "Brain Diversity Workshop") 22
ADD 101 for Prison Administrators, Teachers, and Guards 27
More Discoveries 29
2 Understanding Yourself 35
The Five Stages Following Recognition of Our ADD 37
Let's Get Started on the Work 39
The Core Components of Human Nature 41
We Need What We Need When We Need It! 42
The First Core Component: A Sense of Trust (Birth to Eighteen Months) 43
Outcomes 47
The Second Core Component: Separation and Identity (Eighteen Months to Three Years) 47
Outcomes 52
The Third Core Component: A Sense of Competence (Three Years to Four Years) 52
Wild and Neglected 55
Making Mistakes 56
Try This: Make a Mistake a Day! 56
The Story of Three-Year-Old Budding Engineers 57
Outcomes 60
The Fourth Core Component: A Sense of Powerfulness (Four to Five or Five-and-a-Half Years) 60
Outcomes 66
The Fifth Core Component: A Sense of Self-Control (Five to Six-Plus Years) 67
Outcomes 70
Henry Tells His Story: "I'm Not a Label, but a Work in Progress"-A Story of Self-Control Late in the Making, But Worth Waiting For 71
Part I Henry The Kid 71
Henry's ADD Makeup 73
Henry, the Kinesthetic Learner 73
Henry and Patterns, Interconnections, and the Big Picture 74
Henry and His Strong Sensing Capability 76
A High Level of Sensitivity 76
The Adult Years 77
3 Being Helped and Helping Others 81
From Wounding to Getting Help 81
Self-Help 83
Response to Trauma (PTSD) 88
Chronic Stress Response (CSR) 94
"Diagnosis" versus "Identification:" Follow-Through and Aftercare 99
The Email Dialogue Approach in an ADD Mentoring Program 102
Overcoming Fear 104
What To Do About Destabilization and Fear and What Not To Do 107
Clearing Guilt: Forgiving Yourself and Changing Values 113
Changing Your Values 116
4 The Different Faces of ADD 121
Type I: ADD with Hyperactivity (ADHD), Belle (Belinda) 124
You and Belle: Type I, Outwardly Expressive ADD 128
Type II: ADD Without Hyperactivity, Jai 129
You and Jai: Type II Inwardly Directed ADD 134
My First Glimpse of Type III: ADD, Quentin, Roderick, Max, and Joe 134
You and Quentin, Roderick, Max, and Joe: Type III Highly Structured ADD 139
Mixed Types of ADD 139
Scotty's Story, Mixed Types I and II 140
You and Scotty, Mixed Types I and II 143
Olivia's Story, Mixed Types II and III 143
You and Olivia, Mixed Types II and III 146
5 Finding, Dealing With, and Growing the True You 147
How Do You Find and Build Your True You? 148
Finding Your Fit in the Past, Present, and Future 151
Identifying Your Tools 152
Stages of ADD Awareness 152
Attributes of ADD 152
Types and Forms of ADD 152
Core Components of Human Nature (CCHN) 153
Exploring Your True Fit 154
Remembering and Dreaming 155
Consider Your History and Thinking 156
Exploring Your True Timing: Is It Time? 157
Timing and Rhythm Come Into Play 159
What Can You Not "Not Do?" 160
Different Journeys for Different Folks 161
What Do You Think/Feel Your Raw Material Is? 161
Parameters of Your Path 162
Dealing With Your True You 163
Zero to Sixty in How Long? 163
Let Your Self Unfold in Its Own Time 164
In Addition to My True Self, I Want… 164
Where Else Might Signs of Your True Self be Hiding? 165
Ferreting Out the Simple Things 165
Barricades and Detours 167
The Critic 168
Here's the Judge 172
Growing the True You 173
Signs of Wrong and Right Paths 173
What I Wish I Had Done … 174
Self-Quiz Time 175
Two Types of Growth Experiences 177
Success on the Way; HJ 177
Sometimes Things Don't Work Out So Well: Nadine 180
Your Time to Embrace the True You 184
Nine Lives and a GPS Have Nothing on You 184
6 The Accommodating You 187
Wounding and Secondary Wounding Can Lead to Healing: One Woman's Odyssey 188
Going Beyond Wounding to Forgiveness: A Powerful Tool to Healing 190
Forgiveness Time is Now 191
The Accommodating You Goes to Work 191
Accommodation in Action 193
Skill-Building, Great and Small 194
One Man's Pathway to Healing and Accommodation 194
Doing His Part 196
Finding and Protecting the Brainstyle That Works for You 198
Accommodation Tools We Have to Work With 200
Big Picture Structuring and Organizing 201
Caution: Where the Big Picture Can Cause You Trouble 204
The Gifts That You Offer Your Project 205
How Things Function 207
Wisdoms 209
Caution: Where the Functional Approach Can Cause You Trouble 210
Structuring By Virtue of Patterns and Relationships 211
Caution: Where Pattern and Relationship Focus Can Cause You Trouble 213
The Gift That You Offer Your Project 214
High Levels of Activity Get a Lot of Everything Done, Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, and Verbally While Rhythm Greases the Wheels 214
The Popcorn Popping Model 216
Self-Gratitude for My Way of Managing Me 218
Time and Timing Skills 219
Managing Your Energy 220
Emotional Activity 222
Verbal Activity 223
Caution: Where Your High Activity Level Can Cause You Trouble 225
Kinesthetic Learning: Hands-On Activity at Its Best 226
Words of Advice 228
An Inner Locus of Perception and Control and a Strong Sensing Capability 229
A High Level of Sensitivity: Sight, Sound, Taste, Smell, Touch, and Intuition 233
Family Setting 235
Job Setting 236
Emotional Skill-Building to Help You Accommodate 237
How Nice to Have Learned How to Protect the True You: A Work in Progress 243
Epilogue 245
