Chavez shows readers what happens when a loving and well-loved mother finds herself so depleted from the quotidian demands of her life that she suffers a panic attack. Wise and hilarious, Chavez had me rooting for her from page one. Her story will be a hopeful beacon to anyone standing on shaky ground.”
—Christie Tate, author of Group
“Friends, do yourself a favor and read Julie Chavez's tender-hearted memoir! With warmth and humor, Chavez perfectly captures the grueling spiral of anxiety. And with beauty and wisdom, she examines its causes and cures. But perhaps most brilliantly, Chavez portrays the pressures and pitfalls of twenty-first century motherhood. I read this book in one fell swoop, gasping with recognition on every single page, and finishing with the wonderful feeling that I was not alone in the world.”
—Joanna Rakoff, author of My Salinger Year
“I can’t remember the last time I read a book with so much heart. Every page is full of love—love for her family, her friends, her job. And love for the life she’s built, one that seems in danger of disappearing as she struggles with her mental health. Hers is an honest, painful, cautionary tale for any woman who thinks self-sacrifice will make you a better partner and parent. As I read, I rooted for Chavez, empathized with her and, finally, applauded her, as she eventually learned to love herself.”
—Kristin van Ogtrop, author of Did I Say That Out Loud?: Midlife Indignities and How to Survive Them
“We flipped over Julie Chavez’s book. Hilarious. Poignant. Overall awesome. This is one of those books that we know our fellow moms out there will be obsessed with.”
–Cat and Nat, coauthors of Cat and Nat's Mom Secrets: Coffee-Fueled Confessions from the Mom Trenches
"If you find yourself overwhelmed and teetering on the edge (like most of us): don't panic. Take a deep breath and reach for Everyone But Myself. Julie Chavez (your new best friend) will reach back and help you find solid ground in this funny and heartwarming memoir."
–Jen Mann, author of Midlife Bites: Anyone Else Falling Apart, Or Is It Just Me?
“Everything about Chavez’s story of managing motherhood, work, marriage, anxiety, and finding the ways that helped her through spoke to me. Her fresh, honest, hilarious voice makes her so relatable. This is the perfect memoir for any mom who feels pulled in a million directions.”
—Jill Smokler, author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood - The Good, The Bad, and the Scary and founder of Scary Mommy and She’s Got Issues
“A balm for the working mother and for caregivers of all kinds, Everyone But Myself reminds us that the business of living is predicated upon the relationships we forge with ourselves. With tenderness, warmth, and an attentive eye, Chavez documents the journey of a woman learning to belong to herself. This beautifully written memoir is a road map for learning to live with great love, essential service, and a bold, unbreakable commitment to our own sacred needs.”
–Abby Maslin, author of Love You Hard: A Memoir of Marriage, Brain Injury, and Reinventing Love
“When you are used to giving to others but saving nothing for yourself, the sense of depletion is so strong it’s hard to make changes. In this thoughtful, gentle memoir, Chavez shows how she began to choose herself, and, little by little, regain hope and purpose. I found myself grateful Chavez began to take steps to choose herself, and hopeful that I could do the same.”
–Anna Whiston Donaldson, author of Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love
“In the space of one summer, illness and tragedy threaten a woman’s sense of self and her professional and domestic stability, too. But little by little, with the help of those who love her (and assists from brand-new friends), [Chavez] finds her way back to mental health and joyfulness in this candid and deeply heartfelt memoir that will resonate with any reader who has struggled to be all that the world asks.”
–Courtney Maum, author of The Year of the Horses: A Memoir
“In this beautifully written and brutally honest memoir, Chavez takes the reader on a journey through the trials of motherhood, mental health, and self-discovery. We walk away with a renewed ability to accept our frailty, leading us to a place of self-kindness, mindfulness, and common humanity.”
–Stephanie Thornton Plymale, author of American Daughter, CEO of Heritage School of Interior Design, and founder of Heritage Home Foundation
“Chavez’s book gently—and sometimes not so gently—suggests that finding the words to ask for mental health help isn’t the hardest part, that it’s actually acknowledging the roadblocks we’ve been taught to just push through. Her journey is a vulnerable one, yes, but also bitingly funny and incredibly relatable. She’s the reassuring pal we all need, the one who’ll show up with an armload of lattes and color-coded pens and paper so when she says the struggle is real and hand-draws you a map of her personal exit route? What a gift.”
–Keely Flynn, award-winning arts columnist and humorist for Chicago Parent Magazine
"Julie Chavez projects the cheer and passion that have earned her recognition for her podcast, Ask a Librarian. Here she writes about a time of personal crisis when she was juggling the demands of her job and taking sole care of her sons when her husband was frequently traveling for work . . . Listeners will cheer Chavez on as she attempts to reclaim her joy and eventually achieves success."
—Audiofile
02/05/2024
Elementary school librarian Chavez recounts in her inspiring debut how a mental health crisis upended her busy life, and charts the subsequent journey to reclaim her peace of mind. As a frequent volunteer and mother of two boys, with a husband who frequently traveled for work, Chavez’s mantra was, “I do, therefore I am.” During a week when her husband was away and her sons were in middle school, however, the 38-year-old’s stresses came to a head and she suffered a debilitating panic attack. The incident threw her into a tailspin, leading to weeks of disrupted sleep, little appetite, and constant anxiety about whether “in the end, everything would be fine.” With her father facing a high-risk surgery, her husband grieving the loss of his sister, and Chavez desperate to show up for her family, she sought out the aid of therapy, antidepressants, and close friends. This support network gradually taught her to say “no,” ask for help, and prioritize her own happiness, whether it came from assembling a jigsaw puzzle, riding a bike, or reading a book. In elegant, straightforward prose, Chavez speaks with compassion and candor to overextended women everywhere. There’s plenty of wisdom in these pages. Agent: Naomi Eisenbeiss, InkWell Management. (Jan.)
2023-09-07
A librarian and mother describes her recovery from anxiety and depression.
After Chavez, a librarian at an elementary school, and her children received routine allergy shots, she found herself a few hours later in a hospital room, reeling from an anaphylactic reaction to the injection. This marked the beginning of a period of intense anxiety that escalated to the point that, while her husband was traveling, she experienced a panic attack that made it impossibly frightening to turn off the lights before bed. “In the moment it’s happening, a panic attack can convince you of nearly anything,” she writes. “That night, I believed there was a very real possibility I would die.” The author’s sense of being overwhelmed led her to seek medical attention, but she initially got nothing but runarounds and unhelpful advice like, “You need to quit your job.” She finally visited the physician’s assistant in her primary care doctor’s office, who prescribed an antidepressant that had helped her in high school, and she started seeing a therapist. In therapy, she realized, “I’ve neglected myself, but it’s been convenient for everyone else, so no one has thought to stop me.” Unfortunately, just as she began to make progress in setting boundaries and intensifying self-care, her husband’s sister passed away, and doctors botched her father’s heart surgery. These traumatic events required an incredible amount of emotional energy that put her coping strategies to the test. Chavez’s frank, conversational voice infuses the text with a welcome layer of humor and intimacy. Despite referencing structural reasons for women’s—and especially mothers’—mental health issues, the author focuses mostly on her specific experiences. For example, she leaves out details about her identity that might have affected her treatment in the medical systems that she critiques only in passing.
Engaging and compassionate, but Chavez could have gone deeper in her analysis.
