Everything I Never Dreamed: My Life Surviving and Standing Up to Domestic Violence

by Ruth M. Glenn

Overview

The raw, uplifting, and unforgettable memoir from the CEO and president of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence chronicling her personal battle against abuse, violence, and even a murder attempt.

Ruth M. Glenn wasn’t surprised the first time her husband beat her. She was hurt and disappointed but after a childhood in a broken and violent home, she was not surprised. After all, this was just the way things were, right?

It was only after she lay bleeding in a carwash parking lot, after being shot three times by him, that Glenn resolved—if she managed to survive—to spend the rest of her life standing up to domestic violence.

Now, she brings her full story to the forefront with this survivor’s tale crossed with a rousing call to action. She reveals her difficult but ultimately rewarding journey from that parking lot to sacrificing everything to obtain her advanced degrees. With her evocative and thoughtful voice, Glenn explores the dynamics of domestic violence, why women and children are seen as lesser in our society, how to stop victim-blaming, and how to demystify domestic violence to stop it once and for all.

A memoir of resilience and courage, Everything I Never Dreamed is a necessary book that proves that abuse does not have to define a survivor’s entire life.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781982196004
Publisher:	Atria Books
Publication date:	10/04/2022
Pages:	288
Product dimensions:	6.10(w) x 9.10(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Ruth M. Glenn is currently the President of Public Affairs at the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Previously, Glenn served in the Colorado Department of Human Services for twenty-eight years, the last nine as the director of the Domestic Violence Program. She has served on many domestic violence program and funding boards, given hundreds of presentations on domestic violence victimization and survival, testified before the Colorado State Legislature and the United States Congress, and provided consultation, training, and technical assistance at the local and national levels on domestic violence victim/survivor issues. Glenn has advocated—professionally and personally—for many policies, including reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act and legislation involving the intersection of firearms and domestic violence. She lives in Denver, Colorado. You can follow her on Twitter @RuthMGlenn.

Table of Contents

Prologue 1

Part I Before

1 Somebody 7

2 That Little Voice 18

3 Below Myself 25

4 Leaving 38

5 Woman, 32, shot in head … 53

Part II After

6 Picking Up the Pieces 69

7 The World Would Cease to Function 80

8 Educated 90

9 Finding My Communities 96

10 Time for Advocacy 106

Part III Advocacy

11 Shelter 123

12 Driving the Bus 130

13 Everything I Never Dreamed 140

14 Why We Do What We Do 146

15 Making Peace 158

16 Solidarity Among Survivors 165

Part IV Designing Solutions

17 Causes and Prevention 181

18 Intervention 196

19 Serving Victims and Survivors 212

20 Accountability 224

Epilogue 242

Editorial Reviews

Ruth Glenn’s story combines powerful personal testimony with the deep knowledge, hard facts, and brave advocacy needed to confront the reality of domestic violence. It will change your understanding and inspire you. It’s a portrait of an extraordinary woman, a moving tribute to survivors of domestic violence—particularly children—and an urgent call to address the causes of violence in our society.”—Angelina Jolie, Academy Award-winning actress, Humanitarian, and Special Envoy for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees

"Interwoven with stories and statics of the thousands of other women who have suffered and sometimes died at the hands of their abusers, the book sheds light on a profoundly tragic issue while also offering hope...inspiring and courageous.”—Kirkus Reviews

"Ruth Glenn’s Everything I Never Dreamed should be a textbook in every criminal justice and public policy class. Ruth takes on the complexities of domestic violence and makes clear the urgent need to end it. We learn why telling women to leave violent relationships can put them in greater danger and how insidious the effects of psychological abuse can be. Ruth educates us about what interventions make a difference and what failures have been on display. But most of all, Ruth’s book is a heart-stopping journey through life, hers and our own. From growing up in poverty to the terrifying moment when her life might end, Ruth shows us the true meaning of resilience. As a daughter, a mother, a survivor, an activist, Ruth touches a chord in all of us."—Lynn Rosenthall, former White House Advisor on Violence Against Women and President, the Center for Family Safety and Healing

"In this truly riveting book, Ruth M. Glenn takes us through her experience of unspeakable intimate partner violence with unflinching honesty, courage, and compassion. This is a must-read book that will change forever how you understand the dynamics of power and control that abusers inflict on so many women and children. Glenn’s transformation from victim to survivor to national leader in the fight to stop domestic violence inspires us all to do better in any way we can, and to join her in her crucially important mission."—Diane L. Rosenfeld, J.D., LL.M., author of The Bonobo Sisterhood: Revolution Through Female Alliance, Lecturer on Law and Director of the Gender Violence Program, Harvard Law School

“In Everything I Never Dreamed, Ruth’s journey of survival, courage, resilience, and moxie accurately illustrates the challenges, breakthroughs, and lifetime journey of healing survivors face. You will feel moments of joy, sadness, and anger while you read this book. It is my hope that as you read about Ruth’s journey and the state of
our current policies and services, you will be inspired to be part of the solution.” — Katie Ray-Jones, chief executive officer of the National Domestic Violence Hotline

"Glenn skillfully illustrates the history of American responses to domestic violence - trends, myths and policies – by weaving it through her compelling and sometimes shocking personal story. The result is an inspiring individual journey that couples her experiences with her academic study and highest level political advocacy to help reduce societal domestic violence.” —Paul Teske, Dean of School of Public Affairs, CU Denver

From the Publisher

2022-07-26
The president and CEO of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence tells the story of how she became a champion for domestic abuse survivors.

Early on in her life, Glenn learned what it meant to live with interpersonal violence. When she was a child, she writes, her father mistreated the entire family and sexually abused her. “When you’re abused within your own home,” she writes, “you are always kept off-kilter; you never know what the day will bring, or what your abuser will do from one minute to the next.” When the author was 16, she met Cedric, another domestic abuse victim who became the father of her child. Cedric went to jail for armed robbery; when he was released, they got married, and “the physical abuse began…just weeks after the wedding.” Glenn attempted to leave only to return to Cedric, whose violence and maniacal possessiveness escalated even after she moved out. In 1992, Cedric “abducted me at gunpoint” and later shot her in the head. Yet Glenn could not make use of the resources available to her because she lived in fear that her husband was “watching my every move.” Though distressing, Cedric's suicide not long after the shooting freed her, and though it took years to recover from the trauma, Glenn found some peace in volunteering for domestic violence organizations. That work gave her insight into the way victims needed support to heal and speak out, and she began her journey on the national level with NCADV. Interwoven with stories and statics of the thousands of other women who have suffered and sometimes died at the hands of their abusers, the book sheds light on a profoundly tragic issue while also offering hope that “we can change cultural attitudes and behaviors around domestic violence. We need education, collaboration, and infinite persistence. Domestic violence is a solvable problem, but we have to want to solve it.”

Inspiring and courageous.

Kirkus Reviews