Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A Method for Getting What You Want by Getting Off on What You Don't)
224
Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power (A Method for Getting What You Want by Getting Off on What You Don't)
224Paperback
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Overview
“We always get exactly what we want; but often, though we may not be aware of it, what we most want is dark—very dark.”
Each of us has a dual nature: we are light (conscious) and dark (unconscious). The dark side of our personality—the “other,” the shadow side—is made up of what we think is our primitive, primal, negative impulses—our “existential kink.” Our existential kink also drives the dark or negative repeating patterns in our life: always choosing the abusive partner or boss, settling for less, thinking that we’re undeserving, not worthy. But it also is the source of our greatest power.
In Existential Kink, Carolyn Elliott, PhD, offers a truth-telling guide for bringing our shadow into the light. Inviting us to make conscious the unconscious, Elliott asks us to own the subconscious pleasure we get from the stuck, painful patterns of our existence.
Existential Kink provides practical advice and meditations so we truly see our shadow side’s “guilty pleasures,” love and accept them, and integrate them into our whole being. By doing so, Elliott shows, we bring to life the raw, hot, glorious power we all have to get what we really want in our lives.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781578636471 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Red Wheel/Weiser |
| Publication date: | 03/01/2020 |
| Pages: | 224 |
| Sales rank: | 56,289 |
| Product dimensions: | 5.20(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.80(d) |
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
A Century of Spells
By Draja Mickaharic
Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC
Copyright © 1988 Draja MickaharicAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-87728-647-9
CHAPTER 1
Protection Spells
In our normal everyday lives we are influenced mentally and emotionally—by many things. We absorb and shed these influences, giving them no thought. As we enter into the study of magic and the occult we lose the protection that our ignorance provides. We may also begin to expose ourselves to people who may not be particularly well disposed toward us. We need to learn to protect ourselves as our awareness of the divine reality gradually increases.
There are a number of ways by which we are influenced by others. The most obvious way is through conversation. And we are all aware of advertising and that it influences us. But how many of us are really conscious of the effects of advertising and persuasion in our daily lives? When we are not aware of how we are influenced by something that is so apparent in our lives, is it any surprise to find that we completely ignore the more subtle influences which daily impinge upon us?
Human beings exist mentally and emotionally as well as physically. When we are influenced, either by another person or by an advertising campaign, we are responding to conscious mental influence. When we are influenced by another person (or by a group of other people) to behave in an uncharacteristic way, we are usually responding to subconscious mental influences. For example, how many times have you "gone with the group" to another bar when you really just wanted to go home?
Cheering wildly at a sporting event is an obvious case of conscious emotional response. But feeling sad or lonely without apparent cause is an example of subconscious emotional response—in this case we are feeling and displaying an emotion, but we are not consciously aware of why.
Once we become consciously aware of the various parts of our being, we are able to understand how we are being influenced, and whether we are being influenced by another person. While working toward the goal of conscious awareness, we should follow a regular program of self-protection and spiritual cleansing. This will serve to assist us in our development while keeping the influences of our daily lives away from us.
You should familiarize yourself with two books that provide information regarding the process of spiritual cleansing and psychic protection, Spiritual Cleansing and Psychic Self Defense. Follow the program for spiritual cleansing given on page 91 of Spiritual Cleansing. This will protect you as you open yourself to a greater awareness of the divine reality.
There are two basic kinds of protection you can learn. The most important is a passive type, and involves protecting yourself against the influences that come from life in general. The second type is the reversal of spells, or "work," consciously sent to you from someone else. In this chapter we will discuss the more passive forms of protection. In the next chapter we will discuss reversing spells and negative magic.
The magician's primary instrument is him- or herself. The development of your own natural abilities is the first step in any form of magical training. This is a process that begins with the repetitive practice of certain exercises. It also involves understanding certain things through self-observation. The information I am giving you here is the same information I was given by my first teacher many years ago. While it may seem very introductory, even childishly simple, it must be followed through to obtain success.
Throughout the course of each day you are surrounded by the forces of the divine creation. Some of these forces are visible, in that they impact upon your senses. We see the brightness of the sun, or the haze of an overcast day. We can hear and feel the wind in either gentle gusts or gales. We can feel and smell the rain and the earth. Other forces of the divine creation are invisible, in that they do not impact upon our senses. We cannot physically sense the motions and interrelationships of the planets in the heavens or the energies radiated by those around us, but we are influenced by them nonetheless.
The sum total of the forces of the divine creation manifest themselves in each of us individually. They manifest themselves in the flux of our emotions or changes in our mental states. The fact that our emotions fluctuate inexplicably, or that our mental states change from moment to moment, is an indication that neither relates to our real personality.
One of the first principles to understand in any occult study is that you are not just mind or emotion. This is a basic tenet of any religious practice, whether you study Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam, Buddhism, or whatever. It is also a very difficult concept for most people to accept.
Once we are able to observe ourselves, we can sense those conscious influences much as we sense the physical presence of wind, rain and sunlight. The attempts of others to sway us mentally are brought out clearly and we see them for what they are. Subconscious influence we can sense emotionally. We can feel it—and know that it has a quality that differentiates it from fear, apprehension or the emotional blockage of inhibition.
Once we are able to sense these influences upon us, we will realize two important things: first, they cannot harm our true essence; and second. our accepting these influences into the self is our own conscious choice. We can deny others any influence over us.
This is obviously not something that we can do initially. It is a state that we must develop. We develop this state through conscious effort.
It is necessary that you develop a base within yourself—a base that is not affected by your changing surface emotions or your changing mental states. This base must become a point of contact for your real personality. the essence of the divine which is within you and within everyone else. From this base you can reach out to know your emotions or to quiet your mind. This base. once established, gradually becomes a place of stability, allowing you to develop an internal awareness that cannot be disturbed by influences from any external source.
The development of this internal base takes a great deal of time—years, actually. Once this base is developed it will pay great dividends in terms of personal development. Obviously, some of you will find your internal base more quickly than others. This development cannot be left to chance, nor can you assume that it is naturally present. This base is brought into being only through concerted effort. The easiest way to develop your base is through the daily practice of the following exercise: For half an hour every day relax your body. Relax by letting all of the tension out of your muscles. Allow your mind to run free, without paying the least attention to any thoughts that may enter it. Do this as part of your daily routine until it becomes second nature to you.
By using this exercise you will eventually begin to understand that there is more to you than just your body, emotions and mind. This may start as an intellectual understanding, but it will become a deep inexpressible truth. When you contact this part of yourself, focus your attention on it when you are in a relaxed state. Gradually you will find it possible to contact it in your normal waking state. Gradually allow this part of yourself to enter your daily life. Direct your attention to it whenever you are able to do so during the day and you will discover that it can guide you. If you follow the guidance it gives, you will discover that it can become an active participant in your life, and it can make your life easier in many ways. This part of you is the true eternal you. You may commune with that part of yourself on a daily basis, casting off all the influences which may come to you during the day. After you practice this for some time you will find that you no longer accept external influences and you have actually begun acting in harmony with your true personality.
If you have any religious practice, regardless of what it is, you should make a daily routine of praying. Every religious practice has its regular prayers, and these should be made a part of your daily routine as well. If you have no religious practice you should return to the religious practice of your childhood, and enter into it with new perception that it is actually valuable and worthwhile. If you grew up in a home with no religious practice, you should look around and find one that is comfortable for you. Enter into the practice and use the prayers from that practice. If the practice uses prayers in a foreign language, you should learn the language, at least well enough to understand the prayers.
Popular opinion to the contrary, it really doesn't matter which prayers you use or what form they take. What matters is whether or not you pray regularly. Prayer (and the attempt at praying) acts to stabilize and keep you protected from various forms of external influence.
True prayer is the most magical act there is, and if you are in communion with the divine, you live your life in a state of continual prayer. Prayer is a real force in the universe, and the process of learning how to pray is one of the most important lessons you can learn.
If you want to take a more active part in protecting yourself from conscious influence, you can learn to close your aura. You can close off your aura deliberately and willfully to prohibit external influences from impinging on it. Men who regularly wear belts may do this by using the buckling of the belt as a deliberate action that seals them off from any external influences. People who do not regularly wear belts may close themselves off by obtaining a length of small cotton cord about a foot longer than their waist measurement. Tie the cord around your waist as you dress in the morning. This becomes a deliberate act (or ritual) to protect yourself from external influences and the ritual will seal you off. The cord should be tied around the waist and worn under your clothes.
You may also seal your aura through the process of a regular morning and evening prayer. Any number of prayers have the effect of limiting the kinds of influences which you accept during the course of the day. Any prayer may be used for this purpose, including a prayer of your own devising. The following prayer is typical of those which may be employed for this purpose:
The Lord surrounds me with light, love and protection. I am safe within this sphere of love from all which may seek to harm me.
Your own belief that you are protected is one of the most important factors in any form of protection. The stronger and more certain your belief, the more you are protected from external influence.
The effect (either intentionally, or as a secondary effect) of many spiritual exercises given to students is the removal of many external influences which have affected them. These influences are both conscious and sub-conscious, and they must be removed in order for the students to progress on their paths. For example, The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius Loyola have this result.
People committed to a program of spiritual development find they are no longer subject to the types of influence which formerly afflicted them. Eventually, as the students develop, they are no longer subject to any external influence whatsoever. This is a rare achievement, for it means that they are no longer suggestible in any way. To limit suggestibility is one of the goals of our evolution. Like everything else in the development of the soul, it is reached by one person at a time.
CHAPTER 2
Reversing Spells
Almost all the popular spell books, books about candle-burning or praying for magical purposes have the primary goal of influencing another person. Fortunately most people who are initiated into the practice of magic have a highly developed sense of morality and are not interested in controlling others. However, this chapter is devoted to keeping yourself free of the magicians who don't feel that way.
When you try to influence another person, for good or for ill, you are in some sense practicing a form of black magic. The black magician attempts to influence the subconscious of another person by changing his or her behavior, action, or emotional response. So all the curses, love spells, and spells to make debtors pay are forms of black magic. Black magic can induce feelings of hate or guilt, and high-pressure selling or emotionally oriented advertising is considered a form of it. Obviously there are many varieties and degrees of black magic—some forms are more negative than others—yet all are attempts to influence a decision of some sort.
Any form of black magic involves karma. It is known as a form of "moral malpractice" and will be paid back as karma in a future existence. The concept that we need to understand is simple—eventually the soul will learn not to attempt to influence others. At the present stage of human development, however, many people decide that magic might as well be used to attain the ends they desire. This chapter is devoted to reversing the spells that may be sent your way by a student magician, or an individual who has studied magic to gain power over others.
It is a relatively simple matter to break a curse, and I will show you how to do this with ease. But before we go into the reversing procedures, it is important to understand a little of what you may need to look for aside from knowing how to reverse a spell.
Many people who think they have been cursed are suffering not from a curse, but from a lack of self-importance. People who are mentally unbalanced, people who want to be powerful and important, sometimes think they have been cursed. And the curse itself gives them a feeling of importance. So you may do a reversing spell for someone who has convinced you that he or she is under some terrible influence, and when you have done the reverse work nothing changes. Which means that the person wasn't under any spell except the spell of self-delusion. That condition needs a cure, too, and if you are a spiritual practitioner, you will learn to redirect the individual in a direction that would be more beneficial.
As you continue to study magic your senses will become more tuned, and your intuition and awareness level will spot certain conditions in people that you may not have noticed before. For example, you may see someone that you know who is obviously under some kind of a spell, but the individual doesn't know it. When you try to say something to this person, he or she makes it clear that the change is one that he or she made on a voluntary basis. In this situation, you can do nothing. But you may be curious to understand how someone could change drastically and not be aware of what happened. Well, the human mind is a wonderful mechanism! The rational mind can explain any situation it finds itself in, and even the youngest child can provide a reasonable explanation as to why he or she did something. This process of self-justification-which exists uncontrolled in almost everyone—rationalizes any changes in behavior very easily, and can even convince us that the change is desirable.
Some people may think they have been cursed, and it's a good idea to ask if they have been to a store-front psychic or fortune teller. Store-front psychics make money by telling their clients that they are cursed. Then the client pays the store-front psychic to take the curse away. Innocent people sometimes really believe this, and may come to you to have a curse removed. Before removing it, make sure it's there. The chances are that the person has no curse at all. Making money by fibbing about being cursed or under a spell brings its share of karma to the practitioner.
The most common curse that might have to be broken is the petty curse set up by amateur magicians. Here, the student learns a ritual and it is successful, and this one success convinces him (or her) that he has great magical ability. This causes two kinds of problems. First, the student enters the realm of fantasy and thinks he has absolute control over his life and the lives of others through acts of magic. He rationalizes every failure and can actually block sensory awareness if the physical world doesn't correspond to the world of fantasy that he lives in. Magicians, or would-be magicians, of this caliber enter into a world of delusion and self-deception. They may continue to function in the real world to some extent, but there is a tendency to exert influence upon themselves which further encourages self-deception and delusion. Obviously this is an unproductive way to live.
The student who has suddenly gained great magical powers may exert love spells, or other power spells on people he knows. If you attend a class, or go to a place where magicians meet, you may run into someone who will try to place a spell on you to test his or her power. This is idiotic, but it is done. And that is why you need to know how to reverse a spell, so you don't waste time in your own development by being deenergized by amateur power-seekers.
True curses are rare. There are not that many magicians who are powerful enough to really perform black magic. In order to develop magical power, the animal instinctual nature has to be placed under control. Few people interested in the concept of black magic are willing to put the necessary work into preparation for study. When the instinctual nature is uncontrolled, it tends to accept credit for any successful performance of any magical act, and that acceptance acts as a block so that further magical operations are brought to a halt.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from A Century of Spells by Draja Mickaharic. Copyright © 1988 Draja Mickaharic. Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Preface: What is Existential Kink? xiii
Prologue: The Underworld Mystery (revisited in all its shadow) xix
Part 1 Existential Basics 3
An Introduction to the Shadow (and why it's such an unconscious turn-on) 5
The Unconscious 15
Lesson 1 Super-Freak Divine Alchemy 23
Lesson 2 The Seven Axioms of Existential Kink 39
Lesson 3 "EK"-The Basic Practice 51
Interlude: Stories of Transformative Experiences 71
Part 2 Getting Kinky 83
Projection 85
Lesson 4 "EK" Exercises for Transformative Magic 89
Interlude: More Stories of Transformative Experiences 167
Part 3 Questions and Answers 179
Appendix 195
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